Sitting here looking out the window and the light
It goes on
Then off
Then on
Then off.
No ones near the switch.
On
Off
On
Off.
Is that you Opa?
Are you trying to tell us somethig?
Beg us to let you back in. Not forget?
Please don't worry, do not fret.
We're always going to love you.
We're never going to forget

The last thing I wanted to do was say goodbye.
But I'll know you're sill with me every time I look up to the sky.
The way the stars shimmer, they'll remind me of your laugh.
The way the sun shines, it'll remind me of my angel that has passed.
I miss you so much.
I can't wait to see you again someday.
And I hope you know I'll never forget you. Not a single day.

Most nights there's something stopping me.
Keeping me from running my car into the guard rails.
Keeping me from just taking one pill to sleep.
Keeping me from making the cuts too deep.
I'm still somewhat careful.  
But honestly, why should care anymore?
Is there really any reason to stay on this earth?
If there is someone let me know soon,
Before mommy finds me dead in my room.

Too numb and need to feel?
visit my steel friends under the mattress

Feeling too much and want to be numb?
visit my glass bottled friends hidden in my closet

Feeling stressed and need to settle down?
visit my smelly green friends, breathe them in slowly

Too many thoughts and can't sleep?
visit my friends in daddy's medicine cabinet, he won't notice

**what if I visited more than one friend at once?

Every time I look at you I see  so much of myself.
*And you have no idea how much that scares me

Laying here in the middle of the road just looking at stars and to be completely honest
I wouldn't even care if I got hit by a car
At least then I could finally be with you up there wherever you are.

People keep asking me what I want for Christmas.
But the thing is no one can give me what I truly want.
Because the only thing I want it for my dad to get better.
I want the cancer to leave.
I don't want this to be the last Christmas for him and me.