am i guilty as sin?
he didn’t write ‘mine’ on my upper thigh
but building up made us feel so high
only in my mind

am i guilty as sin?
i never touched his skin
but we had little trysts
before the sunrise met our eyes

and if “there’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk”,
can i have these fatal fantasies over and over again,
without being guilty as sin?

you called her baby,
once honey
sometimes it’s coldness,
she was always clueless

my inside is gloomy,
and it’s raining heavily,
still, i think of you clearly,
clearer than the sun
when it’s shining at me

my friends and i saw a girl,
confused, we continued watching
as love don’t change was playing,
she was probably your loml,
it was public,
i became your side chick

you made me a clown
yet i’m giggling now,
my angels witnessed
how my body was shaking
while my attempt was sending
—it was extremely thrilling
and in a millisecond,
you got me screaming,
singing “but daddy i love him”,
i was mad for trying
in the end, i got nothing

he made me pray,
for once i believed,
someone could make me stay,
and turn the way i’ve lived
but here i am, writing in dismay
and for the seventh time,
i’m finding words that rhyme
these mixed feelings i could hardly say

i lived in a dream,
it was lively, now it’s dim
i’m going back to sleep,
good night, so long