like the titanic tragedy

it never hurt
to invite me over for
beers
watch me chug them down
then ******* twice
while you repeat
as i dress myself
that i'm more than welcomed to
stay the night

it never hurt
watching me walk
under the canopy
of trees
in the park
the sunlight
drizzling through
highlighting my long
hair
my bare arms
as i walk along
with another man
cups of coffee in our
hands
you, on the ground
i move past you
and leave you
ignored

it didn't hurt
sitting
across the street from me
as i laugh with some friends
in that pink skirt
which drove you crazy
six months prior
it slides up higher
my dark legs shimmer
in the summer's light

no, i can never hurt you

you're impervious
aren't you,
tough man?

nothing compares to the pain
she caused
when she left, and now
you think no one can touch you
and egg me on
asking me to do
worse

but i won't
not anymore

in fact, i'm deeply sorry
and only wish you
the best
and to let you
know
it always hurt me
to behave like this

sitting on the curb
smoking cigarettes
the falcons
oscillate
above us
and the palms
in the dry air
clouded sky
windless day

goodbye

the white van
here she comes
rolls forth down the
driveway
to where we've
crouched ourselves
by the gate
packed bags to the side

goodbye, myrtle

my nails
tapping
on the mahogany coffee table
echo this

friday night alone
again

i'm missing the
flies circling
the streetlight
i'm missing the
beads on my
pores
and the orange
spills of sun
on leaves
i'm missing
the songs of
cicadas and
crickets
and the dusty
horizon of the
city, seen on
the bridge over
the freeway

the satin of petals
have been forgotten
watermelon waits
to quench
and i pass
right by that too

i'm missing out
on the wonders
not somewhere
but everywhere

life is begging

and i trudge
along
ignoring
the asking cup

i see nothing

am unaffected
by all

i turn inwards

the mind numb
to senses
the heart
knowing
one thing

i am missing you

springtime;
walking
under grey-blue clouds
the lazy herd
moving slowly
above the crows
ravenous

for life
for death

my feet crack the salt and pebbles
below me and i may
slip on
the milky ice
and hurt myself
on exposed pavement
i may slip for you
and show you
something real
this
spring time
because i know
now
that the trees
never died
**** and bold
they bear though
they persevered

as will i, dreaming of
the green
foliage
the fullness
the silent heat
of your body
near

you awake
in the early morning
around 7 a.m
every time
move closer
pull me in
wrap an arm around me
use the other
to caress the skin
of my neck
arms
upper back
and for the shortest
moment i can suspend
the reality of
what we are
over me
replace it
with a warm caramelized
dream

until your running fingers
take speed
downwards
and bring me back
to the
place and thing
i exist for you