I force my feelings into my stomach
belly swelling and skin stretching
my body bursts open violently
guts, blood and emotion looking for a home
s   p   r   e   a   d   i   n   g

my           therapy   is      poured    from    an                            
                                                                ­                        ïmmörtäl böttle  

I     gulp      g r e e d i l y     and     await     the   comfort    of
            
                     nøthingness

my       own       personal       death      without       commitment 

adore        my     missing   memories    and    w o r s h i p    the 

e
        m
                 p
                         t
                                   i
                                            n
                 ­                                    e
                                                              s­
                                                                ­        s

I still taste the salt of the silent tears
that poured from my empty orbs
the sea spilled from my eyes
and burned holes into my soul
I bathe in my acid raindrops
and favour the torment
my heart drowned dead

unfamiliar fingertips
plague my sleepless dreams
silenced by sweaty palms
stinking of rubber and cigarettes
hands mashed into my profile
disfiguring my features like clay
if I look close enough
I swear my face hardened that way

the good guy supply ran dry
21st century bled them empty
entitled smiles and toxic masculinity
mistreating our lovers became trendy

the nice girl merchandise is missing
scorned women turned hazardous
glassy eyes and defence mechanisms
self sabotage never looked so glamorous

maybe we're not as good as we think
trying to match our collective catastrophes
drunken *** and desperate divorcees

damaged people cause the most casualties

I hope hell overflows and they burn the sinners
maybe the heat will melt that plastic smile from your face
and when your ripe powdered skin rots away with old age
you gouge your glassy eyes from your ghastly painted face
I pray for a blizzard to follow your starved shadow
so your botox filled features shall freeze over and still forever
I chant for a deep well to appear below your floss thin legs
and to make a rope you rip your dry blonde hair from your head
most of all I wish upon you to feel as I once did
when you chewed out my heart and replaced it with a bomb instead

give me a little more devastation
heat it up and inject me with a tragic end
assist me as i demonise you into emotionless matter
it's easy for me to view you as a monster and not a departed friend