Silence, you won't hold me hostage
again
I'd rather burn the house and scream
to avoid the pain
than stay in the sidelines and wither
slowly
with my doubts and my words
making me choke

I will ask and beg for what I want
This is my new attitude towards the world
Silence won't cut my throat
with her sly knife anymore
Before you speak, think
that's not advice, it's just ****!

Because silence won't save you, at all
Silence will simply keep the dogs at bay
while the bomb ticks away
Silence is razors at 16 years old
Silence is slow death
Silence is...an emptied space
a form of decay

Silence - you are not the way
I have known you for long
so I know
Silence - you might win the battle
but not the war!

I am the *****
oh God I've been hurt
I am the ******
oh God I've been damaged

I am the *****
I give myself love
because no one is going to, I know
and tears come to my eyes
but I shake it off with a stranger's touch
I am the ******
I shut down
because pain eats my whole
I run away from what I cherish the most

He could have given me all,
so I give myself to anyone
He could have given me all,
so I can't see his ilk no more

it's no longer my style
to wait for you all night
it's no longer my way
to endure stoically the pain
I'd rather grab my pen,
I'd rather sail away
with my head

I am the *****,
tired of all this play
I am the ******,
every night feverishly touching myself
And we meet at some point,
and we break the same way.
We are one,
we are the shattered hearts
but not right from the start

And maybe you are another oppressive link
to break with

Caught like I will always be
This tension to exist - this is to live
The wound carries the solution
The solution is there for you to **** on
it is the whole world and just a spot
Your questions are answers of its own
The wound is a chance to heal
Give it time, give it time, it will.

This is the ultimate empowerment
To feel connected to the SOURCE

Not to feed
upon
pain
rage
bad vibes
but onto
that free flowing movement
the waves
Remember them?

The waves carry you everywhere
You just need
to let 'em
But it's not easy, I agree

Not to die
Not to fight
Not to obsess
To trust
-hardest stuff-
To think well
and not too much anyway
To live
it's art
you need nothing else
if you get it
you need no further

To drown yourself
in the sound and the love
in your million doubts
hold them close
do not let them eat you up

To drown yourself
in waters only giving access
to other realms

Mariana, how are you?
I left you at 13 and now I come back
Mariana, you died because I killed you
but it wasn't me, but the pain I was put through

Mariana let me kiss you
And tell you things are going to be okay
You committed the mistake
to hide instead of burning the bridge
with desire to fly from this ******* grey thing

Mariana, you burnt your skirt and danced
and I died instead
Now you take the wheel
and it's for keeps
it's for dreams
Mariana hello there
Mariana goodbye
Mariana stay

How to sum up what I feel
only now I had you (in a way)
I dare to write it

Who are they? To judge what I deem best
What can a professional ******
tell me about steamy beds?
Who are they? Anyway
I thought they were my friends
But I always confuse terms -
(my story is the story of the confusion
of a girl)

And why am I bound to them
was it fate
was it chance
it was years I felt this unwell

Confront your fears
but run away
from beasts

I float away
right now
I wish I floated on
your arms
It hurts it hurts it hurts
I am torn
Back to the old
I felt strong -

Just drop me a line
or a word
that will be enough
and if not
it does not matter,
no OCD in this heart.

Just love, love, love
and all those pretty things
they seem to be unaware of
I will open their eyes
But I am this alien,
I can't fake it

Mariana had everything a girl could wish for
Her parents approved it and she smiled
Her friends said for once it was right
Everything easy - the waters still
Everything in place, where it should be
Her lover kissed her everytime
but she can't put her soul when she does
2 meters tall and blue eyed
A breathing fantasy - but something's amiss
Mariana always felt this
Mariana had the perfect life
But she has the perfect twist

But Mariana has a yearning inside
A blaze devouring her guts
making her burn in desire
All of this is a lie
She's missing the fix from his brown eyes

Mariana had already done this before
But this time she feels so unwrong
Mariana has already broke up
with everything in the world
but this time she'll shoot for keeps
this time she doesn't get killed

Mariana said STOP
Suddenly, so abrupt
I want to get off this bus
Because she's got something best
This is not what I want
I am merely trying to get along
Mariana burnt the house down
in pure joy to exist

Everyone was so shocked
She saw the light
she had been trying to look the other way
but you can't run away
from the promises desire makes

And now Mariana is on the road
and she's home
her soul is free and some say she's gone
but she does not care
beauty hit her in the face
and that's something she can't refuse