What if I told you about the ward?
About the dark shade all over my past
Would you walk away
fear the ghosts asleep above my head
They won't hurt you...
Dear, I am and I am not
the same girl

Here's my poem to you:
You make me wanna tear my scabs off
all the words they placed on my name
that once set me free, I must confess
and wish for something more
It's who I am: but it's not
I am more than the sum of my parts
and nothing at all

Ex-psychotic girl, that's me.
Never fully recovered,
but beginning to be
I have been everything

I am off the ward
oh, the Sun
is giving me a tan
and your eyes are lighting up
the bridges I burn

It's a shame
It makes no sense!
Will you leave
or will you stay?
We are a ******* dream
let's not make it
a nightmare

I have been everything, everywhere
to land finally here
In your sweet kiss

He says "Can we meet?"
And the drums of doom
the possibility of sweet sin
blur my eyes, make me dream in the daylight
But what about that?
I've been feeling wrong
so he turns up at the gates of my world

A certain drum roll inside of me
A song I know from years ago
I am not supposed to dance to it
I don't even like the beat no more
But God I am stuck
And I fantasize about his lips on mine
now it's drought time
about he would tell me
Dear I always loved you
I cannot keep to myself
all the things you make me feel
both heart and body

It's a male siren's song
It's my personal devil's call
But I light up and I fall
I'd better simply ******* to his thought
But it simply pops and stings with no content
yet he poisons my heart
Yet it is not their fault
I threaten to go dry again
But I will flood the doors open

He stirs the poetry in me
does he distill?
I got rid of him
but he is a cotton cloud, is he the Sun?
I claimed he was one

He was everything
now he is just something
and we are moving
towards something, whatever it is
budding

He says "eat me"
like a cupcake for sweet teeth
I don't really want him
I am stuck
I needed poetry
to realize my luck

You are a fantasy
but you are deadly
You are a reflection of me
but the love and the days we shared,
they were ******* real

I open myself
to the gift of your touch
We shake, the breeze of God blows on us
We came!
Those minor sweet steaming hours of our ***
Where we would first burn and blaze
****, kiss, devour each other like no tomorrow there
and then lay to rest
in each other's chest
Your body against mine - my favorite place on Earth
The body is aroused as well as the heart
it soars above common ground and aims to the clouds
(in fact it stays there, in your arms)
You are a quick acting drug, never having enough

But truth lies here
Truth slips from your fingers
But you can read the marks it left
in your palms

These sweaty mornings hiding from the rain
Winter and summer were for us all the same
Cookies sweetened with your hands on my body -
but here comes the strain
I keep coming here -mind the wordplay-
but you're floating away
*** that distills into a noisy silence in my brain
The afterwards air - "you don't want me there"
You are distracted, you don't ******* care
Every kiss leaves me hungrier than the first
It's an anxiety I can't put away
I am growing nervous, out of myself
I feel used and abused, but I love you too
My face sinks and my soul drowns
I gave you all, all, all
So nice to explode
It was all I had but you pushed it away
I gave you all my glory and my pain
Yet I know I've known the highest layers of
sky very well
These mornings we could read our names.

I won't ever forget
even if it's mourned and buried
Our love, the things we did
so thick, so big
I shed tears while writing this
But I know well
I will be kissing him.
I know well
I've spent too much time alone
and too much noise still
in my petite head when it comes to this
But it was so intense
it blew me away
so I had to take the pen
and write an elegy
a celebration
of the fire we were
are we?

He approached me on my way to the Kerry's
And I was scared, because I thought my world
was going to shatter
No more waiting, because
he said:
"Thank you, thank you for what you've said to me
it's good advice
but most of all thanks
for making that big guy over there
smile every day so wide.
He needs a lot, and you are that lot"
It was a poem itself
It doesn't need my 2 cents
I was blown away
You've never said I love you,
now, who cares
He's right: your smile speaks
your body screams

When I was 13
scared of my body
scared of my brain
in a ******* whirlwind
that felt like frozen limbs
I kept asking my mother
every day
"do you love me?
would you do it all the time?
what if, mom, would you still
love me the same? mom?"
and far-fetched scenarios
and a thirst that is never quenched
and a fear entrenched
my guts in a knot
ebbing and flowing
on a dance of uncertainty
never stopping the doubting

And now I land here
a place I never could have thought
You bring me here - but I also had a say on this
I don't need your mouth to say anything
You tell me all I need to know in a kiss

The world without I love yous
is my land of choice
I want to dismiss all the solid words
that led to my demise

Because this ride is wider than declamations
And late night confessions.
It's bigger and better than speaking,
circling around
about your obsessions
And it's not the answer
so it's not the question

"I love you" is OCD for the heart!
Constantly checking, never getting enough
getting huge and huger
stirring all that's bad
It loses meaning, and it's not fun
Burn your "lover's" anxieties, fill them with ever LOVE
with the watery flow of it all
(or that sight of the eternal...)
love does not doubt
love does not shake
love merely is
love is relaxed, slick
love is not really what you think!

I live in the world without I love yous
and funnily, I feel more love
than I ever did
Keep those days, those nights
where you are on fire!!

Life is not a ******* poem
Life is greater than everything
Outside the borders, the margins
where it is pushed, it simply is

And here I am, vomiting letters
onto the screen/paper
that keep me alive
It is good, it is nice
but the thing itself it cannot surpass

Yet, it gives a sense of sense
But life's advice is truer, stronger
more throbbing
than anything else
It opens itself in front of your eyes

Poetry is a constant in the air
That you can smell, you can't contain.
Poetry is your inner hell
weaved into golden tinsel threads
My abstract lover, my mental come
But you see, nothing like the real one

Life goes further
always ends up winning the game
And you revel on what she did there
She's rarely misled
And the winters in your days
account for the sunshine rays

This chapter draws me in
I can't say no to it
It looks exciting and dangerous
(like everything that's worth it)
I fell so many times before this
but I rose before, too
so keep that in mind

The biggest blessing came
falling from the sky like holy rain
when you expected no blessing at all
When you simply rocked to world's pace
Struggling and smiling, (yes, yes)

I have to affirm this force within
It comes and seizes me in crazy moments
(God likes to laugh)
Get away from my dying patterns
The night is mine, and so is the day
I just have to know where I aim.
But again, then...
I will be shown the way
It makes my pulse shake
My eyes squinted and cannot see well
Why I see stars when in the dark?
Maybe it's the way it must be, lass