The doors have opened wide
in front of my eyes
I see a future bright and scary
I have to step inside

I will never forget the days I spent with you
I won't forget you were the first to see through
I won't forget your sweet love and *** in Berlin
In fact me and my hand haven't so far

But I have to say
it's getting too much to stay
too much pain too much nerves
And I don't want anymore to depend
I feel a peace I can't explain

Can we solve it?
Can we keep on trying?
or is it reckless senseless persisting?
What do I want? I need your body close
Without you I'm an empty box
You are the distiller of my thoughts

But I see, I need this to be
I gave you too much of me
To the point where I would break you
I've got a vision I can't see
But I have to try at least

How to say goodbye
when the gods whisper in your ear
and you still love the guy?
I want to cry in your arms
over this beautiful mistake
will meet you again in another life

What if there is only back to black without
It's not okay using you as my layout
Am I simply entertaining myself too well?
If I do, why do I want to stay there?

I feel vertigo
it seizes my guts
yet I know this is life
what I dreaded for so much

What do I do with it babe?
With the contradictions
My impulses spinning in all directions
Confusing truth with obsessions

What do I do with what I felt?
I confused it all once again
Looking at girls is okay,
but I can't without the guys

This is a map Pan hands me
I have to read it with glee
his words are unspoken
but he screams!

this is what I ******* need
to be alive
but the voice in the back
keeps me restrained and shut up

Am I going back
away from this ivory town
Where I could not touch the sky
Whose hand, will I?

And where do you all ghost lovers go?
Where do I go when I'm not home?

I am hooked on you
merely hooked
not in love
and not desiring anymore

I have to learn to handle
so you don't destroy me
and I don't destroy you either
I've already been here

The mind is such a liar
the heart it entangles much
this emptiness
sure doesn't help

You came in a given matrix
but you can't turn to be the matrix itself
(You never were, and thus is how big things are made)
The matrix is bigger than you
and much bigger than me

This stylization is not stylish at all
This standby of the soul
this going deeper to the seams
which burst and scream
but I can feel

Give me more questions
give me more ecstasy
give me this holy break
give me the sacred visions

You left me for good, for sure
You are not here anymore
And I love you
But I am starting to scatter
to flutter
there is magic that you diseminate
but you are starting to wane

The inertia goes
and there is a standby in my bones
a peace I didn't know
This is nothing but a wasteland, but...
I wish I could truly love...

My mental liaisons seem so real
I could feel him in my bed for a little bit
The  old cold is seeping through again...
but it was the prelude to really sail...
I am thirsty for what I can't touch
I live for the ashes, if I can't have the fire

Are you coming back? Are we?
He won't be here
And neither will I be

I look at her leg -
I just can't process
it's not ***, it's not ***!
Then, what else?

A defectuous pressure over there
Nothing to do with him
But it's so real, so clear
You can't just let it pass you by

I've been particularly bad these days
Problems with my *** drive and everything else
Slowly slowly, things did escalate
I knew I was heading for mayhem
Did I care?
And here I am, again in non-pain

I look at her leg - I want to run away
The awakening is followed not by the Sun
But this life feels so odd, it's not my own
Everything upside down

The horror, the horror
has many shapes
but this one is the superb one

Sad, sad come tonight!
But I gotta explore this, till I go blind
Can't let myself slip from my hand

All that tingling in my skin
Won't all these mirrors tell the truth about me?
The mirror are gone, now grey walls
Sizzling girls, hard *****
Oh, so-called love killed them all
You burn in your own ashes
So you can't burn

And I'm back to the place I come from
but I can't look at it the way I did for so long
This is unbearable emptiness, a vacancy in the heart
And below my shorts.

I've been in the lowest low
and I don't want to go again, because I know!

I am a missing link, I am a restless thing
I can't stop, I can't live, because I miss
I miss what's sacred: bliss
I want so desperately to connect
To tear down those tethers from my head

No learning - just time wasting
Who dragged me here - by my own hand
This paradise-hell of **** and ***** stares
Turned into this dysfunctional state

Saddest ******
No love
Not even that one
Saddest ******
Saddest days
I need to get away
I need a good shrink today
Love hit rock bottom!
Can we go up from there -

I lost my voice, somehow
because I lost my heart
I am the same, but I am lost

Life without you
is high and dizzy
a rollercoaster to live it

I am strolling through
and I don't know what I do
I fall for guys I barely know
in my bed alone I come

Life without you
is uncertainty!
Here we are
waiting for the sun to dawn
on us

Life without you
will carry us somewhere
this wait will be over
How you coping without me?
Are you as gone as I can be?