i dread the cold,

and as i write the words

the fear deepens



fear the ground

will slip

and the bones

will

ache as i walk

the frozen.



fear of falling,

breaking,

and losing

the soft words

of my life

Sleep, darling
I have a small
daughter called
Cleis, who is

like a golden
flower
I wouldn't
take all Croesus'
kingdom with love
thrown in, for her

---

Don't ask me what to wear
I have no embroidered
headband from Sardis to
give you, Cleis, such as
I wore
and my mother
always said that in her
day a purple ribbon
looped in the hair was thought
to be high style indeed

but we were dark:
a girl
whose hair is yellower than
torchlight should wear no
headdress but fresh flowers

your oppression,
my depression
A struggle between
right and wrong
direction-less presence
facading happiness.

just tell me i will be missed,
my leaving will not be wished.

just one last kiss
one last glimpse,
what the future could hold
i feel it slipping away,
one last time.

home is a place,
where the walls don't smell
of regret,
or extintion,
or torment,
or hell.

home is a place,
where the doors revolve,
ambitions stroll in,
while fears disolve.

home is a place,
where the blankets are soft,
a one story house,
with the roof torn off.

home is a place,
where dreams proceed
to have no limit,
no unreachable deed.

home is a place,
built on hope and faith,
heated by love,
and secured by strength.

home is a place,
which will never break,
because the Lord is my savior
and he guides the way.

You knew I wouldn't hurt you.
You knew I would care.
You knew I was the one to go to.
But now when you need me the most, I'm not there.

Now you're left confused and alone.
You don't know where I might be.
You know I wouldn't reject your call on the phone.
I would never ignore you, because you know me.

It's been a full day.
And I still haven't returned.
Your now beginning to say
"Maybe her feelings for me have turned."

You don't know what caused me to flee.
I thought you were a nice kid.
You know I'll be back, because you know me.
At least, I thought you did.

Distract us
Sidetrack us
Engross us
Refract us
Or offer
A glimpse
Just a slight
Of what's real
While we march
In our sleep,
While we are
Standing still,
We’re still reigning
Still falling
Still fighting
False stalling
And cannot see
The ground with
Our heads in
The clouds with
Our eyes And
Our ears Cotton
Wool-ed From
Our fears A
Divine Inter-
ment our shins
Creak on
Cement and
Our boots
Thump and grind
As we march
On the blind
Silent lips
Bleary eyes
Muffled sounds
Freaky minds

And always the façade.
The constant lie,
The forced smile,
The empty laugh.
You deserve so much more
Than I can ever be.
I want to be happy for you,
Sane, normal,
Whole.
I want to make you smile;
I want you to look at me
With that unbridled adoration in your eyes
Forever.

But then forever seems like much too long a time
When I’m only seventeen
And I’m already done.

in the last century of her life

she returned
in a ship of wisdom and beauty

her entourage of demon hunters
guarded a swarm of hieroglyphics

from a future she had seen

she brought droning strings
of dreams

bridging the time
of her absence
between the first and the final
civilization

i saw her mute smile
radiating the light
of hidden moons

she had passed

her words in a subsonic stream
of childhood memories and

evaporating residue
of the mindwalker era

when pride and rivalry
had made all of man

awestruck minions
of time and space

i felt her ephemeral
veil of tenderness

reverberating our first
encounter in one of those
labyrinthine dimensions
of her starfaring journeys

where she had left me
wandering the ever expanding
orbit of a lonely star

while she was becoming
the supreme shape shifter

descending down
to the surface of our birth
planet and crossing
the eternal echoes
of our minds

[J]