This year will be about me.
It will be my Zen year!
The year I take interest in Yoga,
The one that makes me care for me.
This time around a move is going to happen.
I'm becoming an adult,
Finding more of myself.
This year I continue my soul search!
My future is bright, I just know it!!

Lets be real here,

you were always the universe
always the vast expanse
you were always too inspiring
alluring, even
you were always somehow breathtaking
(tell me how you do it)
you were always good enough
and you were always more than good enough
you were always monumental
the kind of person anyone would reminiscence of
but you werent always mine,
but you are now
and im always falling in love with you
im always never falling out
im always going to be here
and you will always be the universe
you will always be so much *more

Mother,
you carried me
into life

and now

you carry me

dead

for all your eternity.

Mother,
I love life
and I bless your heart
for I knew the bliss
of your unconditional love.

Mother,
you cry
and you bleed

and I

can not help you.

Mother,
I know
the day I died
you tried

oh so desperately

to breathe life
into my lungs

and that moment
you attached yourself
to the anchor of my death.

Mother.

I know you miss me.
I know it is not fair.
I know you love me.

Please,
mother,
live,
carry me forever
out
into the sun
of your loving
my brothers

as you love me.

And, mother,
do know
that your love
would have grown me
into the man
you dreamed of.

I love you.

Fireworks and vivid chaos,
blinding lights in the pitch black sky.
The sudden gregariousness,
cross-dissolving into one's sigh.

Back home in a blanket,
hot chocolate in hand.
A wandering mind, hardly cognizant,
unleashing one's disguise.

With the shutter open
to evacuate life's scenes,
revealing only those broken
in one mind's eye.

Fading rapidly from awareness,
once immersive, now an indistinct sight.
The suttle gregariousness,
has all but gone dry.

The story I am writing  took a new turn
The New turn become a new life

Some Decisions:
1. Fewer poems would be written by me daily.
2. I'll concentrate on strengthening my career.
3. More self-centric motives will be my priority.
4. I'll make my parents feel proud about me.
5. Friends will be chosen extremely cautiously.
6. I won't forget and forgive people's mistakes because I'm not a fictional idealistic Godman.
7. I will truly hold on to the above six decisions.

I learnt this year
that twelve months is not a long time.

And suddenly I was up staring at the dates
burning past; I
was still sunken in the last wintersleep
when spring danced its dance
and left me watching
from the dark corner
of the bar that my life had become:
the dim lights, and broken hearts,
and the drunken thought of you
rushing in and waltzing out.

I learnt that
you are only as tired
as your last mistake.

And that people only remembered
what they wanted to forget.

I began to measure time
in the ways your laughter changed
from a river-burst resonance of joy,
to a difficult trickle of a mighty
stream
drying up.

Standing just outside the chapel doors
My brother holding the urn that held your ashes
My sister on his left, I on his right

I told myself
"hold it together, hold it together"
God, I didn't want to cry
But just as the musician started playing the piano
Tears welled up within my sorrowed eyes
My heart started to beat so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest
I felt the eyes of so many people follow us as we walked down what seemed to be an everlasting walk
All the people who loved you
That had been affected by your spirit
By the loss of your beautiful soul

Lighting the candles that surrounded you was so ******* hard
My hand was shaking so hard
Tears blurred my vision
Why had this terrible disease chosen you to conquer, why would depressions demons choose such a selfless human being to take from such a loving family