Daily walks would lead me down

The tourist laden streets

Where people from all walks of life

Would congregate and meet

Buskers, singers, ne'er do wells

Would work throughout the throngs

But in back of Giannis restaurant

Sat an old man sharing songs

He didn't sing so much as talk

His voice was hoarse with age

But a milk box and an orange crate

Were his table, chair and stage

His instrument, an old guitar

Scarred, battle worn and black

His guitar strap was as old as he

An old potato sack

He sat and played to nobody

He just let the words be there

His audience could be a hundred deep

Sometimes it could be air

His music was his lifes blood

It was everything he had

So he shared it with the people

And the people....they were glad

The tourists, stayed away though

They were more attracted by the flair

Of the buskers and the jugglers

Not this man who wasn't there

He never left to join the crowd

And to sell his songs to those

Who really wanted nothing more

Than to hear some manufactured prose

The people who he played to

Were just others from the street

They worked the bars and restaurants

And at night they'd find a seat

In front of this old bluesman

Sitting by his orange box

Playing his guitar by candle light

Taking in his songs and talks

He sang songs from the heart, I guess

About those who'd he'd met

He'd sing about a dozen songs

That would constitue a set

Then he'd open up his silver flask

And ******* two gulps down

"This here's just my medicine"

"My past lives just to drown"

He sang of Truck Stop Beauty Queens

And of Walks out in the park

He sang of people living life

Not just hiding in the dark

He sang of things so real you'd see

Their pictures in your mind

He'd sing of places and of things

That others would not find

But tourists, they just stayed away

Near the buskers blowing fire

While yards away this old man sat

Just like an old town cryer

His audience would leave a bit

of change for their free show

He never asked for anything

For this was his row to ***

At two though when the street shut down

He closed his show down too

But he always had an extra song

A special one for you

His music came from in his heart

He shared it without fear

For once it left his throat it was

A sound that was so dear

The tourists went to hotels

Once the buskers all went home

But he just moved his crate and box

He slept out here alone

He sang his songs of characters

Who helped make us his life

His words were sometimes gentle

While others cut you like a knife

His world was just that orange crate

And his music helped unfurl

The melodies in this mans mind

It helped him share his world

He knew some things and people that

Would take rather than give

He sang about the street people

Because among them he did live

His home was just a cardboard box

Behind Giannis bar

And if you want to see a real good show

You don't have to go far

It's just a little beaten path

Away from tourist fare

Where this little, old, shy

Bluesman sings to hundreds or the air..

I had a voice inside my head
Speaking low, I heard it say
You can make your whole world better
If you listen ...now ....today

I shook my head and looked around
Saw that I was alone
I figured that the voice I heard
came from someone's cell phone

It said..
Take my hand and walk with me
I'll will guide you on your way
Let me deep inside your soul
And we can start our walk today

I looked around at where I sat
Thought, this can't be all there is
I signed on for better than...
I didn't sign for this

The voice spoke softly to me
follow me, I know the way
I wasn't set to travel
At least not now...today

It said..
Take my hand and walk with me
I'll will guide you on your way
Let me deep inside your soul
And we can start our walk today

I listened and I took the walk
Together, down the beach
There are places deep inside
The voice, it helped me reach

I'm not saying who it was
For, as now, I do not know
But, I've started a new journey
And the voice, says where to go

Do you know how many times my mother coughs so hard in an hour that it still surprises me she hasn’t lost a lung?

I wonder if all the money that she spends at the gas station on that tiny cardboard box was saved instead of spent, if she could manage to pay the bills before the late notice arrived in the mail.

How many times do you think she tries to quiet the change being pushed around the tabletop as she counts out the quarters, the dimes, the nickels, the pennies before she has enough to slide the coins across the counter at the station?

How many times is her anger thrown at me because nicotine is absent from the house?

I can only imagine the color inside her chest, protecting her lungs with a black tar after too many years of flicking a flame to a thin white candlestick stuck between her lips.

The house smells of smoke and the yellow filter lines the walls, around the frames that hang themselves by nails.

I clean the mirror and see the paper towel golden from the lingering tobacco.  My clothes reek of a stench so strong no amount of perfume seems to be enough.

I’m paranoid that every time I’m in a room of people and someone mentions that it smells like smoke, if they know I harbor such a scent that I pour it off second handedly as if I inhale the drug too.

I open the mailbox and the temptation to “lose” the coupon booklet addressed to her grows stronger.

The business cards labeled with a barcode on the back subtracting a dollar off when you buy two packs strengthens the urge to scrabble up the silver coins or summons the question, “do you have five dollars? I’ll pay you back when I get paid on Friday.”

Friday never comes.

I often think about how much longer it will be until all the money spent on tiny cardboard boxes will be split between tobacco and medical bills.

How long can you smoke a pack a day and still be cancer-free?

And I wonder how it’s fair to watch your mother gamble with her life each time she places a thin cigarette between her lips.

Russian roulette with cancer is a game she’s become too good at.

a garden fence of wooden slats
giant poppies bloom and fill the gaps
brightest petals, orange

white birds of summer  
will mend, with twine and twig
windy nests of a northern winter

today, only an indigo sea
of lavender bees, will hum
like gold, beneath the sun

no frowning clouds will come
only morning glory flowers will bloom
blue as sky, blue as heaven

I must be moving on from you
It's been good, but it's not love
At least not the kind I'm looking for
When push comes down to shove

The times we had were special
But, in the end...'twas just a phase
What I first mistook for love was like
And our like just lasted days

The perfect girl, the one I want
Is in my mind and in my heart
I'm in love with someone I've not met
And now I've gone back to the start
The girl I love, I do not know
She's in my head and in my mind
I know she's out there somewhere
And in the end it's her I'll find

On a scale of pain recovery
You took two bottles, nearly three
I know I have to tell you
It wasn't you ...you see, it's me

I got lust and love all tangled
It was just a lesson for us two
I know there's somewhere out there for me
And now I know it isn't you

The perfect girl, the one I want
Is in my mind and in my heart
I'm in love with someone I've not met
And now I've gone back to the start
The girl I love, I do not know
She's in my head and in my mind
I know she's out there somewhere
And in the end it's her I'll find

Something wicked this way comes
My body aches with pain
Not self inflicted with demon ***
But through the weather and the rain

The storm has taken down a tree
I stay inside and pray
There's a storm on fire inside of me
Will I make it through the day?

Arthritis wracks my body whole
And the cold just makes it bad
Free from pain, it is my goal
I can't remember last I had

A day so free and without ache
Drugs just numb but do not heal
I lose control when pills I take
I don't like just how I feel

The rain moves down the window pane
Liquid, lanquid and so quick
To be so sore it is my bane
It is not the life I picked

The storm is over, but not in me
Each day, it starts anew
I face the test with a new plea
I do the best that I can do.

to smile like that,
you ******* Cheshire cat,
your lips curled up
as you lounge in the grass,
your legs sprawled out,
your face painted every
shade of smug
because I want to kiss you
(and you know it)
because I want to **** you
(I hope you know that)
for ruining roundhouses
with weak knees
for turning my right hook
into my right hand on your chest
as you pull me in closer
you turned my (occasional) quick wit
into pure aphasia
brought on by your all-consuming gaze
and I'm left awkward and dumbstruck,
wondering who gave you the right
to look at me like *that

Blonde hair, blue eyes
Freckled map upon your face
The brightest smile anywhere
They can see it out in space
A goddess so untouchable
Do you even know?
The things you do
When you walk by
Be it fast, or be it slow

A wisp of hair
A tilted head
A neck so long and sleek
A t-shirt with a stretched v-neck
That gives us a slight peek
Hands so slim
So delicate
They would snap
Given the chance
I would give my life
to hold you
Perhaps to even dance

Open up your heart
See if there is room
For someone other than yourself
In that dark and lonely room
Mere mortal men
they pile up
As you just break their hearts
So open up that one of yours
And make room for cupid's dart

Golden hair, just perfect
A diary of your day
Filled out in swirly writing
little hearts along the way
The page is full of what you did
But, it doesn't tell the tales
Of the destructive path you carved among
The audience of males
The ones who do your bidding
Pay your way
Carry torches
The ones who want nothing more
Than to sit with you
on their front porches

Like Taylor Swift
you cut and run
Leaving damage in your wake
They all get hooked
Upon your act
Before it is too late
A siren without water
No rocks to crush their dreams
But, still you leave the burned out hulls
Of these young men in the streams
They fall for that cute smile
And the slightest hint you drop
That you may have room inside you
To let them in, but then you stop
Are you scared or just inhuman
Have you feelings for someone
Other than yourself I mean
Are you happy when you're done
You move on through the world you've made
An ice queen on her throne
Is it fun up in your tower
Are you truly happy all alone

Open up your heart
See if there is room
For someone other than yourself
In that dark and lonely room
Mere mortal men
they pile up
As you just break their hearts
So open up that one of yours
And make room for cupid's dart

From Austin on to Pensacola
from there I went to South Dakota
Moved on back to Arizona
Just trying to start a life

Went from Flagstaff to Daytona
then headed out just past Pamona
hung around and hit Sedona
Just trying to start a life

It didn't matter where I was
I had to move on just because
She'd find me in my dreams
I shut my eyes but couldn't sleep
Her image in my mind would creep
She'd find me in my dreams

Spent some time down in L.A.
There she was so I couldn't stay
Went and moved to Spanish Bay
But there she was again

Found a place in Monte Ray
only stayed there for a day
went down south down by Queens Cay
But, she followed me again

I shut my eyes and I did find
Her image burned into my mind
The girl was in my dreams
Although I tried to start anew
There was nothing I could say or do
And you should have heard my screams

I tried again, but had no luck
I even slept inside a truck
I woke up cuddled with a duck
And again her in my dreams

I'd been all 'round this country side
I'd walked, and flew and hitched a ride
It may be better if I died
But, I'm sure she'd find those dreams

I'm sure it didn't matter where
She didn't really care
She would always haunt my dreams
Hair so blonde and eyes of blue
I just can not get rid of you
You'll never leave my dreams

Stopped into a back roads diner
Somewhere just off Carolina
Highway thirty three
Sign said "open", I went in
Pushed the RC handle made of tin
Not a soul around that I could see

Waitress came out from the back
Name plate said her name was "Jack"
I'm glad I came in
Ordered up some milk and pie
This waitress sure did catch my eye
Pushing that RC ad made of tin

Told her that I was passing through
Not staying long, had things to do
Smiling, she  said "You'll stay"
I said I'' need a place to rest
She named one place...the best
Out by the bay

There's not much to do round here
We only serve three kinds of beer
and the Carolina Zoom Zoom
we make in the back room
It goes down as smooth as ever
Turn your insides straight to leather
That Carolina Zoom Zoom
we make in the back room


"Jack" sat down and asked my story
told her, "lots of pressure, lots of worry"
Don't worry ***, it'll go
I asked her how she could just say that
Took off my coat and then my ball hat
Just how was she to know

She said "I read people when they're here"
Some folks stay, some disappear
You'll be here a while
She said "you're driving time is over"
"I think you'll end up, as the new owner"
"Of this place"...with a smile

I said "there's no people here to sell to"
"What the heck would I do"
owning this with no one here at all
She laughed and said "I am agreeing"
But you are looking but not seeing
Money's made behind the yonder wall

There's not much to do round here
We only serve three kinds of beer
and the Carolina Zoom Zoom
we make in the back room
It goes down as smooth as ever
Turn your insides straight to leather
That Carolina Zoom Zoom
we make in the back room

She said it was a truck stop diner
That sold the best ***** in all Carolina
Carolina zoom zoom in the back
Recipe's been here for ages
Brewed real slow, distilled in stages
Always forty jugs out on the rack

We've sold to Robert Johnson and Bocephus
You may choose to not believe this
I wouldn't lie about that fact
The diner never makes much money
But, the back room, there's the honey
sure as i know I'm called Jack

She said she lived in an old trailer
That she traded with a sailor
For a case five   years ago
Moved it back on up the hill
There she could watch on the still
If I bought, she'd have to go

I thought a while, made two offers
Money to fill up her coffers
And she had to stay
She smiled, asked me if I'm certain
Did I mean it, or was I just flirtin'
I told her I was set to pay

There's not much to do round here
We only serve three kinds of beer
and the Carolina Zoom Zoom
we make in the back room
It goes down as smooth as ever
Turn your insides straight to leather
That Carolina Zoom Zoom
we make in the back room

I've been the owner fifteen years
I changed my life, by changing gears
Jack is still with me
Thank god I stopped in to this diner
Back in the back roads off Carolina
Highway thiry three

Relics of you
(Old sweaters and letters)
Line the walls of my hiding place
(I may have dug myself in too deep this time)

******* isn’t the same;
My collarbone doesn’t peek up through my skin how it used to when I removed my shirt.
I can’t see my ribcage protrude over my flesh under each breast like it used to.
My hourglass figure has too much sand; it’s spilling over.
The mirror seems to hide its eyes and turn away and the scale screams for me to scram.
The numbers glare up at me as I look down over the overfilling sand to where I wonder what it’d feel like if the ocean washed up over my toes in a skimpy bikini,
My hair blowing in the wind as I let the sun kiss my cheeks.
How it feels to be kissed by the glass watching me strip into the dim bathroom light,
Instead of slapped by the picture I see in the mirror.
When I bend over to finish removing the clothing,
I have to look away from the extra bulge of sand that sits directly above my waist
And haunts me by the rolls that hang on to my fattened skeleton.
I wonder how it feels to be loved by the reflection staring back at me.

Why is when you are near
My heart is out of time
Why is it hard to catch my breath
When you are close, close by
My mind is all a muddle
when you are in the room
I can not make the words I want
Whenever you are near

My body has reactions
To your presence in my space
My thoughts are all a jumble
When I see your sweet face
I never do this normally
I can not explain why
But, it happens to me frequently
whenever you come by

I wish I knew the reason
Why do I act this way?
I wish that I could tell you
But, my mouth won't let me say
I love you and I always will
But, whenever you are near
My teeth and tongue and lips are tied
There'll be no sense in what you hear

Why does my heart skip a beat
When ever you're around
My skin gets wet and clammy
It knows you can be found
Somewhere close to where I am
My body lets me know
Why can I not make a sane thought
Why do you vex me so?

As long as you're around me
I can't think or breathe or write
I'm fine when you're not with me
But, as soon as you're in sight
My heart beats out of rhythm
And my mind's not working right
I love you and I need you
But, one thing that I fear
Is that these feelings all will leave me
If you are truly here