Heartfelt - Hello Poetry

Jun 2015

Gem S

With all due respect, you make the oxygen rush uneasily into my lungs, paining the edges every time you speak, and I find it that your absence also does just that. Pain my lungs every time I think of you, that is, every time I breathe in the scent of coconut oil & the rays of the sun that you're not here. Accompanied by saltiness for whatever girl you could have wrapped around your tongue in efforts of finding someone better than I am, when you return I still find myself wrapped up too, venturing deeper and deeper into your mind, and your body.

I know this was supposed to be me explaining what my anxiety felt like in that moment you dared to say “you wouldn't mind risking falling in love w me”, but the train tracks in my mental are extremely hazardous, and my thoughts frequently wander. Despite this, my body had been making the adjustments, to allow me to see nothing but how the moonlight would look on your chest when I'd take you out to the beach at night, and transform myself to become a part of you, despite feverish attempts to not take you seriously, to not take anyone seriously…You can’t possibly want to love me. But…we are cute huh? (luna y sol)...te echo de menos -- and the absence of someone is always a hard rock when thrown and harder when felt. And as my chest tightens and oxygen pumps through less parts of my body...I love the feel of my lightheadedness...if only you were the cause.

Listen, I have no problem being your sun AND your moon and allowing every bit of emotion in me to get slandered and thrown up into the sky every minute of every day, I have no problem respecting you and the person you want to turn into, I’m already to far gone in love with the idea of being loved by you. But my mind has a non-permeable guard up to keep the butterflies away that I feel every time I speak to you, though they fly over anyway. Pain demands to be felt, and I allow pain in every time in my dreams when you say "love", but allowing it to stay is something this conscious me hasn't figured out yet. But hopefully I will, and at the same time start remembering to breathe again.

-g.e.s.

some **** I wrote like a year ago after a breakdown, unedited.

#love #anxiety #infatuation

May 2015

Eve Lastnamehere

Too young.

"Stop talking like that."
"You're too young to feel that sad."
"Where's your mother?"
"Oh shut up, you don't have anxiety, it's just part of being your age."

**** those people.
I haven't spent hours upon hours sitting with a therapist trying to get over the trauma of my childhood and the **** being flung around me, to listen to ******* like that.

I refuse to watch my mouth around people I do not respect.
I'm not to young to feel.
My mother is to busy with her newest husband and his spawn.
Most days I'm too fearful to get out of bed because I might see people and most of the time I have to hide in my therapists bathroom because I don't want the ******* secretary to look at me.

15 isn't that young, really it's not considering kids like me grow up a lot faster than those around us. My mental illnesses are no less real than someone in their 30s. I'm human. Not a senseless animal.

May 2015

Autumn

Untitled

Sometimes I would really enjoy having a friend.
Someone to talk to
Not just someone to hang out with and have a good time with because they are so abundant
Sometimes I want a hug
Sometimes I cry and sometimes my feelings that I do have get hurt
Because I really just want a real friend

May 2015

Trā

;

If I had to describe myself,
I would say...

I'm not just the 50+ scars
from blood-stained razors
on my left arm;

I'm not just the countless tears
I cried when I pleaded
with your deity;

I am ";"

";" is never-ending.

I am ;
because my story doesn't end here.

I am ;
because I am forever evolving.

...so until
"."
arrives,
I am ;

This is probably my most simplistic piece but ironically one of my most inspirational once you understand the concept of the semi-colon. I got the idea from http://hellopoetry.com/takemeaway/ (Alexia Cousineau).

#love #suicide #sad #life #thoughts #strength #inspiration #suicidal #self-love #inspire

May 2015

Quip the Quandary

Be kind. Rewind. Or don't.

You were right to call our love
"like the movies"
for you played me until the very end.
You were selfish thinking you'd be
the only one to view me entirely.
Frame by frame you sought to memorize me so
did you think by this you were entitled to win
the golden statue of a man
the notoriety
the glory
when your greatest story ever told was
left reeling on the screen?
There was static noise,
There was darkness,
And then there was a click.
The new projectionist added his own film strip,
and gave my greatest flop a sequel.
Without you in a single frame,
It's now a love story most
cinematically quintessential.

I wrote this one night in the absolute pit of my heartbreak kind of hoping someone would come along to fill the shoes of the "projectionist" and by the grace of God, one did. I hope.

#maystillbetoosoontotell

May 2015

IL Mare

Love Her

she's just another lost
soul in this tragic world
waiting for somebody
to come and change her

she's already tired of the things
that make her feel small
like what's the use of ripping your parts
if you're not whole

but you're the universe that
she'd never get tired of living for
you're the only soul
that makes her love what she doesn't have anymore

so love her like in movies
winter, fall, summer, spring
love her until it's unfair
love her like you're the happiest
and love her like you were born for it

#love #happiness #change #girls #you

May 2015

Alex

You are priceless.

You are more than the price tag on your clothes,
More than the number on the scale.
You are more than the grades you are given,
& the pants size you fit in.

You are more than the number of friends you have,
More than the reflection in the mirror.
You’re flawless because you’re his creation.
I can’t make in any clearer.

I am not religious but this was made to be for anyone to read.

#love #god #happy #you #selflove #worth #accept #bodyimage

May 2015

Alex

Hours wasted

With every cycle the clock ticks
I escape the world from the back of the room
Through letters shaped as thoughts
Staring at where once was the moon

Seems pretty okay, right?
But you can’t write your sorrows on exams.
I would need the entire alphabet.
But I’m left with four bold letters at my hands

I began writing "I’m sorry" beside my name.
Answering questions with just because
I started leaving pages empty
I truly believed that’s what i’d become

When things came to an end,
I passed, but I failed to get better.
*- At least if i had actually failed, I would have gotten a second chance.

#poem #poetry #sad #alone #school #failed #stressed