what is life?
the question of the future
what does it mean



                                  to live                
         and      
                   to die?                              
                            .                              
    ­    .          
                            
                              
can you save your soul
on the one drive?

what does it mean to be alive?

what life can we recognize
when the void
gazes also

with no eyes?

who is who
and what is what?
O
what a time to be alive

you fly too high              
    on borrowed wings
                      so far above
                         the shining sea
          and I can see you
               spiraling                                        
            the­ darkness leads you                                
down to me                                                
I ride the waves                                  
and all around                
                    the sky is light
                                 with falling feathers
                                           if I catch you
                          we both will drown
     your molten wings
hold us together

who are you?
who am I?
two reflections
eye to eye

out of time
out of control
staring into each other's souls

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How can I judge someone else?
I could never know their soul.
And how can I judge myself?
I could never be impartial.
I cannot judge humans
Nor can I judge other animals
And so when all is said and done
I cannot judge anyone

what are you so afraid of?
what are you so afraid I will do?
what are you afraid I will say to you?
pathetic little coward

take your empty pride
and pour your poison and rage and spite in it
dig a hole in your hate and hide in it
you ******* little coward

I am the one
to close the door

I did not feel this way
before

my way is full of
mystery

no stars
to light the stormy sea

somber grey
rough matte texture of mountain
just another stone

Pink petals
Swirling up into the sky
Prettiest whirlwind

we are here
in time and space
together
sharing this strange place

where did we come from
will we return
who sent us
and what were we sent here to learn?

we turn away from other days
we make it brave
to stay alive

we curse the old
almost as if to say
"How dare you have survived?"

is this a way to hedge our bets
to guard us from our fear of death?

do we believe we will forget?
do we confuse "no" and "not yet"?

and why are we surprised to see
that those who were
were just like we

who swear that we will always stay
the same way
that we are today?

and I am sure they also swore
they would be new
forevermore

we know the score

but all the same
we dare to live another day

There is an ocean deep and dark and vast
Upon our sunny island grows one tree
As each new branch emerges from the last
The song of life becomes a symphony

We gaze out longingly across the deep
But there is only so far we can go
What secrets might that dark horizon keep
Our island is the only home we know

We look out on the waves along the shore
Our messengers sail out into the sea
And although we have found islands galore
We still have yet to find another tree

We wonder as we sing into the dark
If we will find an answering chorus
And if beyond the sea when we embark
We will find not one tree but a forest

each day I carved part of my heart away
to make                             an empty space
to fit                                           your shape
             how                                           much of the           
                puzzle                                 would I change             
  only so you could be the missing piece?

Crescent Moon
Smiling outside my window
Good morning to you

my hope
begins to grow again
a bloom
still tightly furled

one time
you were my world
but I know
there are many worlds

if I can feel it
for someone else

it isn't love
it's loneliness

that makes me wish
that you would stay

that makes me blue
when you're away

a carnival of animals
all flesh and bone and pheromone

can't categorize our chemicals
so guess at words

like love
and home

I am always so afraid
that I will go the wrong way

doubt in every step I take

every moment
every day

in the middle of the night
I wake and am consumed by fright

imagining I will be harmed
or that my room is full of bombs
or poison gas
or murderers

I leap from my bed in alarm

it takes some time to become calm

and find myself in dreams again
chased through the streets by evil men
or hiding from the government
a monster
or a hurricane

or just trying to take a test
I know that I can never pass
because I cannot concentrate
or arrived to the class too late

It never ends

There's no escape

I wish that for one single day
I could live my life without fear

No ticking clock
No voice of doubt
No visions of disaster

But the world is turning
It is burning

Faster and faster

And it is clear

We are all afraid
to be
here

our minds are on the timeline
fear in every breath we take

we barely even notice
when the Earth begins to wake

and as the mad world rushes by
wrapped up in doom and gloom

undaunted
the forgotten spring
is bursting into bloom

keep it up
keep on hoping

sleep with one eye open

cause a man that you can steal
is a man that can be stolen

a strange soft silence covers me like snow
like innocence still waiting to be spoiled
but just a little deeper down I know
there hides a solid mile of stone and soil

no tolling bell, no chime to mark the time
no clock, no metronome, no pendulum
only my silent mind that tries to mime
the illusion of equilibrium

................
.......................
emotional mosaic
a different kind of art
you didn't break my heart
you only rearranged the shards

I do not know who or what else
but our god is a god of death
who built us all to stumble
built the Universe itself to crumble

from our viewpoint
we who perceive time
as a moving arrow

ours is a god of falling dice
of falling sand
of falling sparrows

the children of entropy
the stones and trees
the Moon
the sea
the air in every breath
and even we ourselves are born of death

we fear for everything we are
in fear we walk
as fallen stars

tremble before the night beyond
tremble before the face of god

Who knows                                                
You know                
              You know
                                              Who knows

you left my heart wide open
how does it feel to see
these other influences
reaching into me

you took my love for granted
you thought you knew the score
you treated me like nobody
you thought I was still yours

a wild bird in a broken cage
with a new song to sing
now I can know the sky again
now I can feel my wings

this is a better way to love
a better way to live
set free
the sky wide open
my heart is mine to give

The truth is
I don't believe in God
but
I don't believe that there is no God
either
A lot of people have tried to convince me
One way or the other
But so far nobody has even come close
And to be honest
I don't see that changing anytime in the near future

I'm not hungry
but I need to eat
I'm not tired
but I need to sleep

to what extent do I control
the actions of this animal?

this prison has no walls
only the sea
there is nothing you can climb
to be free

VIGILANCE

OBEDIENCE

CONTROL

a cold perimeter
around the soul

the heat of the day
blew the ashes away
the sparks and the flames
have returned

keeping fire deep inside
my silence was a lie
I can no longer hide
how I burn

Golden Egg
Shine behind the dark Forest
Bright child of the Earth

it has been raining for so long
I still see the sky through it

how can I trust the sunshine
to be real

I shut the warmth out of my mind
remembering the grey

it will take a little longer
before I let myself feel

my needs are just too much
IF I NEED IT THEN I TAKE IT

I try to hide my needs
**** ANYONE WHO SAYS TO FAKE IT

I hide behind my walls
I DON'T HIDE, I'M NOT A COWARD

and save my energy
I HAVE COURAGE, I HAVE POWER

I wear a mask for everyone
I WANT TO BE SEEN

to hide what's different about me
I AM PROUD TO BE OBSCENE

I think that this would be too much for them
ARE THEY SO ******* HELPLESS

you're selfish for revealing
I DON'T CARE IF I AM SELFISH

this is why you are dangerous
I AM HERE TO PROTECT YOU

you are why they rejected me
BUT I DID NOT REJECT YOU

you are the face I cannot show
CANNOT OR ARE AFRAID TO?

you are made of my darkness
I AM THE DARKNESS THAT MADE YOU

I am afraid to look at you
LOOK ME IN THE EYE

I'm afraid that you are bad
I'M NOT AFRAID TO BE THE BAD GUY

I have to keep you locked away
ADMIT THAT ISN'T TRUE

this wasn't meant to be a dialogue
ADMIT THAT I AM YOU

once the Moon filled our horizon
even greater than the Sun

do you think we remember fire
and dragons falling one by one?

a message following along
primordial and wordless song
of Eden where we once belonged

how deep
how long
our river runs

no one has my heart
no one colors my art
no one lights up my soul
like a million stars

no one knows me like that
no one loves me that way
when I get in my head
no one knows what to say

no one sees me clear
and still holds me dear
I reach out in darkness
no one is here

no one seems to me
the way the one should be
truthfully
maybe no one
is the one for me

who am I?
I am a person
who am I?
I am alive

who am I?
an animal
afraid
with questions in my eyes

who am I
without the answers?
who am I
without my fear?

who am I
to ask these questions?
who am I
if no one hears?

who am I?
it all depends
how much of me
it's safe to show

who am I
when we're together?
who am I
when I'm alone?

who am I
to even think
to even dream
that I could know?

am I
the dream or the dreamer?

who am I?

who wants to know?

I read a message
Written on a screen
In a dream
Three words

‘Everyone is agnostic’

Sometimes dreams tell the truth

Is there a world
Where the Suns always shine
Do they have a word for
Night

can you feel it

the tension
of the uncertain

a faint electric current
just under the surface
a half second deep

and half sleeping we keep
our third eye
on the timeline

waiting
for the silence to break

If you bend them both far back enough
they'll meet at the same point
If you bend them both far in enough
they'll meet at the same point
But not before they've spiraled through your inner mind
ten thousand times
But not before your deepest soul
is molded to their form

if they are right
and it is true
that there are infinite versions of you

the odds that it will happen to you
are the percentage of you
it happens to

but we can never quantify
something that we cannot divide

an arrow on a number line
infinite
undefined

what if I
wake up tomorrow morning
and am someone else?

the deepest part is like a serpent
fire and madness
in the darkness

above that
more like a rabbit
full of feelings
tenderness

on the outside something other
something abstract
alien

snake and rabbit
do not have it

what would we be
without them?

I know we want
to get revenge
but wouldn't we
be just like them

get back at them
talk smack at them
react
and turn our backs on them

this is how everybody thinks
this is how everybody sinks

there is no balancing
the scales

this is how everybody fails