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  Dec 2014 Chloë Fuller
curlygirl
Find a Poet Not a poser, not a "it's just a hobby" poet. Find one who mumbles lines as they scramble for a pen at breakfast; who shakes their head randomly when their thoughts aren't rhyming properly;  who has notebooks stashed around the house that you must never touch.
2. Listen Savor the spoken words, for those are harder to express. Keep in mind that they can't be edited and re-written, and be forgiving when a mistake is made.
3. Read The body speaks as loudly as words on a page do. When their eyes are closed or focused on the ceiling and the fingers are tapping out syllables, recognize the unique process. Respect the need for quiet, because if you look closely, you can read the poem on their face before they write it on the page.
4. Write Write your story together. Grab hold of the pen and hang on as you move across the page of life. Sometimes you will dance across, others you will be dragged. You may have to cross out a word, or a line, or a page, but don't give up. Discouragement is a poet's biggest enemy, inarticulateness their biggest fear. So end each day with a semi-colon, because the story will never end the way you think it will, and there must be room for more. There is always room for more, more words, more laughter, more tears, more love,
When you love a poet.
Chloë Fuller Dec 2014
thank you for peeling away my skin
my juices are flowing and i feel wet and sticky
lick me
get down on your knees
hands behind your back
close your eyes
melting
morning *** is the best ***
  Dec 2014 Chloë Fuller
kaye
ever since you left
i've replaced water with *****
it's dripping through my fingers
and is falling to the floor
it's coursing through my veins
still i drink a bit more

the flowers in my stomach
died the same day
i forgot you can't water them
with alcohol, anyway

so here i am still trying to escape
this is it, this is goodbye
i hope this time i forget your name.
i got myself drunk to forget your name but i forgot mine first
Chloë Fuller Dec 2014
I.
communicating through the nebula
an invitation to drink ***** and knit
meditation surrounded you
my jaw dropped when your satchel did
II.
sweat drips from a broken refrigerator
my mouth forms the shape of your name and flows out
rings through our noses
sternums touching
your lover didn't like that I bit your lip
III.
after hours slithering sessions
a body built by god covered with satin and oils from the cosmos
in those futile moments you were a mistake worth making
IV.
protecting my heart like bird and her young
reaching out to me with clasping hands
rocking you to sleep
"don't be afraid to cry in front of me" I said as shimmering oceans expelled from your wooden pupils
V.
These were the good times we have to remember
reconciliation is key to happiness
Chloë Fuller Dec 2014
i know now why i'm up this early
i'm starting to forget the names of your family members
what were they?
i see four faces along with yours
but letters begin to fade
i can't tell if this is a step forward or back

two octobers ago seems like two months ago
a broken nose to match my heart
running through a sea of people trying to find you
you must've been hiding

do you ever think of me?
i can still hear your voice ringing through my head like church bells
the taste of you still sits on my tongue and refuses to wash away
i don't like it anymore

my hurt turned to anger
my anger to sadness
my sadness to guilt
my guilt to acceptance
and now i suppose
acceptance to disappearance

you still exist in my early morning thoughts before I've left my bed
in the middle of the night when i wake up saying your name, which i have over and over and found myself panicked screaming a year after you left

how has two years flown by and you still weigh something?
"I don't want to lose you." was what you said to me a week before you left.
Chloë Fuller Dec 2014
i want tea and toast with jam
i want a warm body wrapped around me like a sweater
i want a full pipe and stomach
i want the sun to stay nestled behind the clouds
i want to sleep and not worry about seeing your face in my dreams
i want to wake up to a text from a lover
i want my heart to stop aching for people i can't have
i want the nausea to cease
i want to wake up feeling healthy
i want the moon in my bed
Chloë Fuller Dec 2014
the reason why i'm up
couldn't tell you
maybe it was the endless hours of you clomping around my brain
during the hours i need rest from your tyrannical hold on my heart
god
i can't help wondering where you are
and who is keeping you warm this season
do your fingers catch on fire when you touch them?
the way they would with me, or at least that was what you told me
another lie to add to that list of nothings i thought were somethings
do you dream about me?
i do hope that at least they give you space
because i sure couldn't
i'm a criminal for loving you
you handcuffed me to the wall because you want me to look but not touch
feel but not expel
i'm letting you win
the pieces are getting too heavy and my arms are getting tired
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