you don't understand at all do you
not truly
you think
I'm a liar
that I still hold the knife
that
stabbed you in the back
[and in the heart]

kinda speechless
that you feel that way
think that way
believe it
untrustworthy? misleading?
false emotions?
can you not read?
here let me try again
maybe I can make it like braille
feel the words

it's like when the clouds stormy eyes
welled up and let fall the
tears of weekend rain
soggy, we laughed along with the thunder
and under our waterfall we let the windows
fog
tell me I lied then

or picture if you will
standing by the tree I
always parked by
it was a starry night, but we didn't see it
we were too focused on our faces
except
why is it I was the only one
drowning in the sadness that overtook my eyes
shaking with each strained, choppy breath
clutching that gray shirt like a life jacket
do you think that was all
for show?

haven't you looked at
my collection of black and white
silly letters scribbled down as fast as possible
trying as hard as I can
to leave it all
on the paper
but it's as if each word I write
is a tattoo
slowly invading every part of my skin
it's sinking in, it's staining everything
do you think this agony I speak of
is fake?

if so
if I am that liar with the knife who
led you astray and "******* you over"
let you down, kicked you around
if you can't seem to
open your eyes
and notice
just how much I love you
just how much I always have

then you don't deserve it

ill run miles for you when I know I only
have the strength for one
but don't you
dare
watch me run
if you don't even grasp
that I stabbed myself in the back
led myself astray

you have a right to
hate the wound
but if you can't see
what I feel
one day
I will learn
that I have to let go
and I will

then all these silly letters
all for you

well. go ahead and throw them away
on that day
they will carry no life
anymore

All I can say:
I'm glad you're not gone
yet.

One day I rode upon an Autumn train.
The sky was slate, the wind was cold and blue.
I saw stark trees and brilliant leaves and rain,
and yet I only thought again of you.
I'd come out on this trip to hide myself.
I thought I'd not be found right in plain sight.
Music I had, and earbuds from the shelf,
I soothed myself with them all through the night.
And when the morning came, all cloudy cold;
all still and sad and broken I became.
For in my heart, I'd suddenly grown old
and all I'd left to whisper was your name.
I droppped my hat down low upon my eyes,
and hid in Love's most distressing disguise.

She ate our minds, and we forgot the reality
We heard her unsound stories, then believed
She controls every little thing we controlled,
She lies at the bottom of every truth we hold
She lies at the bottom of every truth we hold

She ate our minds, and we forgot the reality
But she could stir our bitter cups of sorrows,
With her, we are heroes whenever we wanted
There are no borders, no storms, just happiness
There are no borders, no storms, just happiness

She can take us to a new world of perfection,
But still our choice, will decide our destiny;
She ate our minds, and we forgot the reality
We heard her unsound stories, then believed
We heard her unsound stories, then believed

I heard my brittle bones breaking in your hands
As I collapsed
collapsed
I thought I was made of steel
Or rubber
something that bends.
But never
breaks
Your hands were not comforting they
seemed all too steady
and your voice
was too robotic
When asking me to
Breathe
How could you ask me such a thing?
At a time like that?
have you no heart?

I don't cry in-front of people
You could've had the decency to leave me broken
On the kitchen floor,
So I could carry on saying that
"I never really cry..."
as a testament to my strength

But you had to grab my bruised wrist's
and push denial away
"Shhh..its okay."
  I could've held on a little longer
Had I known
You weren't here to
stay

Who are you?

I'm the one in the forest.
In the attic, in the basement.
Behind your eyes.
I'm the selfish, I'm the bitter.
I'm the disgraceful.
I'm cold. I'm uncaring.
And I don't care if you don't like it.

Who are YOU?

I'm the one people talk to.
Text, see, hang out with.
I'm the funny one.
Without a care in the world.
I'm the one who's not flashy.
But a pretty good guy.

Why are you here?

Because the spotlight is never on me.
I'm miserable, I complain.
It's about time someone listened to me.
If you won't live up to your name,
Then I will.

I hate you because you're fake.

Maybe you can fool everyone else.

But not me.

If you don't like who you are, then why don't you let them meet me?

Because I'm better than that!
Maybe I'm not who I want to be, but at least I'm not you!
You're horrible.
You just wallow in self-pity and blame everyone else for your problems.

You are just a resentful piece of crap.

Say whatever you want, I was dealt an unfair hand.

Maybe I'm resentful.
But you're not even real.

Let them see me.
The one you SHOULD be.

Would you rather be bitter, when bitterness is in your heart?
Or a walking lie?

I am NOT a lie.

Again, say whatever you want.
But we both know the truth.

*And the truth is me.

Her bare feet slapped against the pavement.
Tulle skirt stuck to her sweaty thighs.
The first drop fell.
Rain came that day.

Arms outstretched, she started to twirl.
Until the footsteps came near.
Out of time with the thunder claps and bursts of light.
She stopped and stared.

He was there.
Drenched in the rain.
Watching.
She laughed and pulled him to dance with her.