My mind has lost at the moment
When our eyes have met
Pretending nothing happened
But it’s not what it seemed
Obsession I can’t handle
But you’re the one who light my candle
You are my addiction
You are my direction
Sometimes I got the feeling that you’re looking over me
Was that just a dream or fantasy?
Silence is my enemy
When you’re in front of me
You make me feel the heaven’s way
But why can’t I say
I don’t want to lose you
But I don’t know what to do
I just have to find a way out
There has to be way that I could let it shout
I just have to look into your eye
Maybe it’s worth a try
Maybe those ears are willing to listen
To my heart that already beaten
To fall for you
Only for you

I fear the way you love me:
That tender-touching kiss
Seducing me to nightly
Sink deep in your abyss.

Those smooth caresses take me
To places that I dread,
Your cunning fingers rouse me
To plan such lies ahead.

But while we writhe and tumble
In lust's hypnotic hold,
I fear the final stumble
That will see the truth unfold.

When you joke you sound so serious
And I never seem to get it until it’s too late

You like order and tradition
I listen to Christmas songs in July.

Our moods never seem to match
You seem to thinks that that’s just fine.

But I don’t understand.

I’m always worried, it seems,
That I’ll somehow let you down
And in doing so, I’ve succeeded.

I always do the best that I can
to look good for you
you complain, “it isn’t needed.”

You’re family only likes the ‘Normal’
Whatever that is
But I stick out like a sore thumb.

From my hair and it’s ever-changing colors,
To my jeans with their pictures and quotes,
...That are drawn on with sharpies...
and the paint stains that cover them from time to time!

Because of all of this, I worry.

Am I too weird?
Is my rainbow-like hair too odd?
Are my drawn on jeans ,
My crazy belly dancing skirts,
And pentagram necklaces,
Simply too strange?

What of my love of olives?
And how I ***** up my face when I think?
Do you not like how I spend hours on my computer,
Working on one picture (trying to make it just right)?

Or how, when I choose to color my art by hand,
I walk away with paint all over me (Even on my cheeks),
And an oddly proud grin plastered on my face?

I worry, and pace,
For days on end, at times,
Wondering if you really love me.

And when you finally see me,
The weird, colorful,  oddball that I am
You smile, and kiss me,
saying "i've missed you so much!"

And I know that I worried for nothing,
That you are different from your parents,
That our beliefs live together in harmony,
That you actually like the odd faces I make when I'm thinking
and the weird colors I dye my hair,
And that you really, truly love me—

Paint stains and all.

For all the ******* I have given
sometimes, I realized;
I’ve never been a good person to you,
but still you stood with me
against all the odds,
still you held my arms
when I’m about to kiss the ground,
still you never left me hanging,
never allowed my questions unanswered,
still you tried to understand my personality
as other people don’t.

I followed all your rules and commands,
I followed every step you were making,
perhaps, now is the time
to discover myself on my own way;
I listened every moment to your words
but please,
can I lend also your ears?
Unraveling the inner reason why I was born
but indeed I’m thankful , I found
an exquisite love from both of you ―
my parents.

Thank you for letting me
embrace the beauty of nature,
for letting me perceive the world,
and for letting me wander
beneath the pouring rain
(I learnt the lessons then).
Thank you for scolding me,
for giving me pieces of advice,
for the care,
for every sweat you tasted
(from sun-up to sun-down)
in order for us to experience things
that some could not
(I appreciate it like rain),
thank you for everything,
Mama and Papa.

I’m not used to, of saying
“I love you”, “Thank you”
and “I’m sorry” in front
of your eyes, but it
doesn’t mean that I don’t consider
these thoughts in my heart,
it doesn’t mean that these phrases
have never been at the corner of my mind.
You may not know, but as I’m breaking free
from my childhood stories and fantasies,
I’m also losing my strength, for I know
your presence is not permanent.

But Mama and Papa, I’m begging God
to bestow upon me enough time to show how
much I love you; how much
I need you both
in my hardest
battle, and in my greatest  loss.

It’s been years that were already in memories;
still you don’t recognize that I write,
that whenever I can hold my pen
I can’t resist the art of poetry,
yet I hope you will find
this poem I made before you depart.
I’m sending all my hugs and kisses
inside this treasure,
I may hate you sometimes
the way you talk to me ―
when I encountered mistakes;
but it’s only mild,
because you can understand me
as other people can’t.

Sincerely yours,
your child

I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."