A chronic sickness,
So sick in the head.
Lost in my hate,
Getting pleasure from dread.
What you have done to me, 
I am so grateful.
Made me cold, disconnected, 
This feeling, so sweet.
Before I was weak, in every eye and heart.
With just a few words I was torn apart.
With what you've done I'm not right in the head,
My feelings are pushed into something else, 
Lust, anger, and numbness instead.
Thank you for making me mad.
So completely insane.
Life seems so much better, 
Without a functioning brain...

Ignore the torture
Ignore the pain
Hide it deep down
And never refrain.

Never remember
Never forget
Never have known
**** the commitment.

Not much longer
Your time is set
Now your heart
Can pay its debt.

Always leave
Always stay
Always know that
No one is on your side.

A downward spiral
***** you in
But you just let go
And go for a spin.

Forget to wonder
Forget to care
Forget to notice
You're even there.

Time long passed
With no relief
Only an escape
Can cover up your grief.

Compelled to hide
Compelled to leave
Compelled to shudder
When you pull down your sleeve.

Sometimes remember
Sometimes forget
But never mean never
Or death you have met.

There are so many things inside of my head...
Things i hate to think of...
Memories that I dread...

There are feelings in my heart and a pain inside my chest...
Feelings of broken dreams...
Life that was at its best...

I have so much to offer, yet nothing left to give...
You took all that I had in me...
Except my will to Live!!

i want you if
even for the
shortest moment
of time
even if knowing
our hellos
will also be
goodbye.

i want
you

to hold me.

Far beyond all  possible pains
Far beyond all my other troubles
Beyond all reason
And beyond Hell
Wherever I go
Wherever I tread
There follows a thing I shall not name
I thought I was stronger
But now I'm not too sure
Somehow I'm falling
And nothing is secure
I want people to know that I've tried really hard
Please don't think that I've given in
I'm still fighting and trying to regain
That innocent girl that I know hides within
I'm slipping but I'm clawing
Trying to find someone's hand
To pull me from the terrors of my mind
I take a step
And fall faster behind than forwards
Struggling to grasp the happiness I'm reaching for
I must keep going
Don't think I'm giving in
I will always try to reign over this fight I must win

Please, don't think I'm giving in

Close your eyes
and imagine a kiss
filled with longing
and passionate bliss
Feel my hands
about your waist
see if you can
my yearning taste
And as intensity
starts to grow
Hold me tight
don't let me go
Pull me closer
to your breast
see if this dream
will pass the test
If pulse has quickened
and cheeks have flushed
then follow this dream
to me you must.

I'm sleepy
But not sleeping
Faithless
But not cheating
Wandering
But not lost
Paying
But not the cost
Happy
But not glad
Crying
But not sad
Distant
But not far
Dishonest
But not a liar
Wishing
But not hopeful
Praying
But not soulful
Raging
But not mad
Evil
But not bad
With you
But still so alone
In my room
But so far from home

I'm a paradox
Wrapped in straight talk

When you love yourself and others, you're a philanthropist.

When you love yourself but hate others, you're arrogant.

When you hate both yourself and others, you're a misanthrope.

When you hate yourself but love others, you're lost.

When you can't make up your mind on both, you're lazy and out of touch.



Choose yours.