There is no excuse
For any technical glitch

You “dont want to do this anymore”
Well neither do I
That’s why I sad “goodbye-
call me when you’re ready to apologize”

Finally you rang, and I answered...

To find no apology, just an earful of blame
No love, just a vacant flame.
A torch to my heart—
You lit the fuse
There goes any hope I had
Of me and you

Talk in circles for hours on end
How does this help mend
The relationship you claim you want?

Every word that falls from my lips
You somehow manage to flip--
Make yourself the victim,
When it was all your decisions
That left me alone and broken.

Years of words unspoken
Forced a gap, 3,000 miles wide
No way to know what’s going on inside
That cold vessel that you call a heart.
A shot in the dark.
A hope, and a loss.

You wanted to die
It was all my fault, so you say.
You admit it’s not a sound thought,
Then you close off like a vault
When I plead you to get help
Or we’re through.

Keep on singing the blues,
I’m not taking the heat
Sing away into the night
No longer will I fight.
Not for you, not about you, you never you.
No more.

My head pounds,
But my heart is still--
Content with this closure,
Content the battle’s over.

There was no winner--
Though you may claim the title,
It is I who will live her life
While you sit idle,
Wondering about the daughter
You left behind.
Keep on rocking that silly guise.

Two out of three of your children won’t speak to you
Because of all you put us through,
But you insist you’re in the right.
You claim you don’t want to fight,
When all you do is add fuel to the fire.
Now I realize, you’re nothing more than a liar.

Leave me when it’s convenient for you
Now all the sudden you’re stuck to me like glue,
Spinning negativity and hate.

I ripped at the seams
To set myself free.
Put myself together again
Without your help,
With all my true friends.

I’ll watch my back,
Thanks for the warning.
You’ll be awfully sorry
come the morning.

I said my piece,
But you couldn’t hear--
Ignorance has made you deaf, my dear.

Congratulations on your perfect life.
You live yours and I’ll live mine.
I’m surrounded by love,
you’re alone in the desert dust.

One confession: what you did was wrong.
One word: an honest “Sorry”.
One admittance: you caused me pain for so long.
You denied it all.
I felt my heart fall
And my head clear:
You’re not a changed man-
Exactly what I feared.

Glad I gave you one last chance
It’s a shame you’re too stubborn to see
All that you’ve lost
By losing me.

So you have an email that won’t get to me
So you have a life that’s fancy-free
So you have some dogs and mis’rable wife too
So you have your gun
And you have your excuse

So you have a few pictures, pictures of me
So you have some fake little stories
So you have new family and the sun’s shining too
So you have your addiction
And you have your excuse

Excuses, excuses
I’m so tired.
Excuses, excuses

They’re not enough to unbreak my heart
And they’re not enough to heal these scars
You went with the wind, changed my world
You left with no sign, not even goodbye
No apology, just a lie

So I’m supposed to let it go
So I’m supposed to be the adult
So I’m supposed to forgive and forget
How can I if you don’t regret it
Breaking my heart, weaving your lie
Spitting your words, making me cry
Cry, cry, cry, cry

How can I forgive? you’re not sorry.
How can I live? you took my life.
How can I believe you? all you do is lie.
How can I?

I’ve been hurt more than anyone should
All at your hand
So now it’s goodbye, goodbye for good.

I don’t want to be something. I want to be everything.

An artist, a dreamer, a worker, a keeper.

An owner, a manager, a helper, a fighter.

To be my whole self in world that tirelessly tries to make me choose

One

Single

Passion.

That is the dilemma.

But I’ll always live in your shadow…

so long as there’s a moon,
so long as there’s self-pity
and dark thoughts in your head,
so long as I live here in this house,
in this room,
in this bed.

Today I’m lonesome, tired, and weak.

“Tomorrow I’ll be better”… that’s what I want to believe.

Will my knees buckle?
Will they shout?
Will my thoughts race?
— without a doubt.

A day in the life:
I wish you were in my skin.
Living with the hell I’ve known,
Constantly crawling within.
Waiting to break free from this shell,
Not knowing where to begin.
“Only time will tell”
What a messed up world we live in

It’s definitely been a year
And I’ve definitely never been better.

The pain is still there,
But it has lessened to a dull ache

I no longer break
And bend
For you.

Your words?
They no longer stick like glue
To my soul.
I’m in control.

Your letter?
Unread.

My thoughts?
Unsaid—

Why waste my breath
on the heart-deaf

Stuck in a world,
Living vicariously through others.

In a snow globe of disaster,
Looking out at the happiness that surrounds me.

Even in my dreams
I don’t give myself the things I need.
How am I supposed to make amends
With the life I lead?

The life I could’ve had-
Shot down and broke apart.

Didn’t even give it a second chance, and I call it my dream?

You’d think I’d to anything
To salvage what I could

But I didn’t, I just couldn't
So, lost and miserable I stood

Settling for less every day since,
Hoping the dream was just a dream
And it would pass.

What scares me most:
I’m starting to think I can do it--
I can have my dream.

I was so comfortable just believing
It was a far off fantasy

But now I think
'Why not me?'