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Carla Marie Jan 2012
Raindrops on glass and

Rumbling thunder

Lazy,

**** days

Snuggling up under

Cover…

Naked with you lover…

Butter *** pound cakes

With pecan ice creams

Whispering naughty wishes

And

Sharing the nice dreams

That only comfortable lovers share…

While

Storms end’s drip...and

Roll from eaves

We listen to drops

Falling from trees...and

Throw back the shutters

Hug the sun

Touch the breeze

Feel the spring

Smell the love in the air...
Carla Marie Jan 2012
Funny how it works out…
That the way to keep
Loving you
Is to
Love you less…
Withdraw…
Back up…
Reel in
My emotions… cuz
With unmet expectations
Comes pain…and

I don’t do pain…

Funny…
How I’ve found
That to stay
Requires
A spiritual
Lessening…

No more
Laying open of the core of

Me… for you to peruse
At your leisure…
No more
Early morning lips
Down your spine
From between those
Fabulous shoulders
To the patch of hair above
My favorite place…
These intimacies
Just too much
To bear…

Funny…
That the idea of
No more
Secret smiles… and
No more
Private jokes… and
No more
Sssexy
Oh so
Sssslow Drags
To
No external music… just
The dizzying smell of you…

Is really not
All that
Funny…
Carla Marie Jan 2012
How did I get to this place?
Desperately ask myself
As under the quilt in my lap
I point a 38 at
The man that I
Once thought was
The One-
That I don't take his life
Can only be
Grace
Shining on ME
Cuz my heart suddenly knows
It is not worth my soul
To hurry him
On his relentless journey to hell-
He will surely get there on his own
It is Grace
That saves us BOTH this day
Grace that he won't miss until it's gone
~~~
The old man across the street
Talks to his old wife
Like she's got bird ****
Smeared across her face-
I'm sure it didn't start out this way
I'm sure that once upon a day
She was shown a modicum of loving kindness
A sweetness commensurate with the Grace
With which she
Used to
Walk
But now with which she
Bears the never ending insult
That her life has become
Grace that the old man
Does not appreciate
Grace that he won't miss until it's gone
~~~
She leaves her baby in the car
While she steps into the bar
For just a minute-
Time not only flies
When you're having fun
But also when addiction lies
And sez you are-
So baby-girl
Waits
But it is Grace
That sends mom outside to *****
At the very moment
Mr. Predator
Spies’ baby-girl alone
It is Grace that mom won't, in her haze, even notice
Grace that she won't miss until it's gone
~~~
This old world can be a cold dark place
Would be darker still
Were it not for Grace
Someone once said
"T'was Grace that brought me safe and through..."
~~~
For all the Lovely and the Good
There will be the Ugly and the Evil
But Ugly and Evil
Can NEVER do more
Than
Amazing Grace
Can do
Carla Marie Jan 2012
Just wonderin’… if surrounded… as you are… by the ramblins… of visitors… and the offerins… of hangers-on… and the jokes… of the wanna-be-funny… and the excitement… of your beloved basketball… and the rowdy…  of your down-and-***** football… even tennis… when it’s Venus… and her earthy growls…  and ya girl Serena… with her thigh-strainin’ swing… hell… even hockey… if that’s all there is... playin’ in the background… mixin’ just fine… with children laughin'… and he still flirtin’… after all these years… talkin’ a little *****… after all this water… under the bridge… makin’ you smile… coaxin’ you to…  hang in there baby… to take…  just one more bite… to take…  just one more sip… to smile…  just one more time… I’m just wonderin’… how are you gonna do… when they put you in that place… for sick people… with no loud children… no beloved husband… no bad jokes… no fried chicken in the air… no sports commentators… no big band drums… no somebody screamin’ TOUCHDOWN… for you to… if only for a few precious minutes… wake up to… how are you gonna do…in all of that silence…?
Carla Marie Jan 2012
One day
My children will
Stop by
On their way
To somewhere else…

To
Kiss their old mama
See what I need
Fuss at me
For not eatin’ right… or
Stayin'
Out or Up
Too late…

If
By chance
I don’t open the door
Cuz I’m busy
With
A Good Smelling Man… and
Aretha Frankin

Sippin’ wine …And
Smokin’ Cigarillos…

They will blow up my phone…
And be all upset... Reprimandin’
My old self
When I finally answer
Speech softly slurred

(Aretha... moanin’ in the background)

Cuz I didn’t check in
In a timely manner...

Makin’ folks worry…

I will simply smile the learned smile
Of tried and tested mothers …
And have
A little more wine…
And
A little more Aretha…
And
A little more good smellin’ man…
One day…
Carla Marie Jan 2012
Promises to myself …
This is the last time...
Walk as far away as my will
Will take me
But the ****
Like Bell
Has long distance capability
Turn off my ear
But
My Jones
Like the Postman
Rain Snow Sleet or Hail
Always gets through
Making me do
Things I said
I would not do
In places I said
I would not go
And I know
That I’m wrong...
Too got-dam old
For this foolishness… and
Getting older by
The sack… or
The line… or
The bump… and
I promise myself
I’m gon stop…
This is the last time… and
I mean it this time
Just like I mean it
Every time
Until the
Next time
But before I know...
Today’s perfect drain
Eases yesterday’s pain
And my heart is racing
To beat
The hair now standing
On the
Back of my neck
To the top of my head...

And everything is okay…
All is well…
With the whole ****** world…

On through the night... and
Well into
Day
With a
Kamikaze Nose-Dive Crash
Into reality
And I hate me again… and make
Promises to myself…
This is the last time...
Walk as far away as my will
Will take me
But the ****
Like Bell
Has long distance capability
Turn off my ear
But my Jones…




Come Too Far To Turn Back Now
Carla Marie 2011
Carla Marie Jan 2012
Black Texas dirt
With Grandfather Trees
That the sun shines through
In dust moted streaks…and
Ponds and Creeks
That
I use stones
To cross with
Big
Sometimes slippery
Gray stones…
Covered in moss… with
Bluebonnets
Sharing space with frogs
And trailing ivy
And bee hives in logs
And butterflies
That flutter by
And vie
For attention
With hungry hummingbirds
And COUNTRY Mockingbirds
That can’t DO
Car alarm…

Perhaps a summer cabin
Or even
Working farm
House
With wrap-around porch
Flanked by Four O’Clocks
Shielded by Climbing Roses
Guarded by Morning Glories
Shading two big dogs
With cold wet noses
Pressed to my face
That wake me
And shake me
Back to this reality…
Which is oh so far from
My mind’s dream place
And I’m somewhat dismayed…
But it’s still okay…
Cuz there’s
Nothing wrong with dreaming…
Nothing wrong with dreaming…
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