I talk to myself

I talk to myself and that’s okay cuz

I like myself

I know what to expect from myself

I’m never ever rude to myself

Or even a little bit sarcastic with myself

I have been known to deceive myself

And do occasionally surprise myself

Though I can usually predict

What’s going to happen with myself

Every now and again I let myself

Down

But that’s to be expected as myself

Is only human

So when it is necessary

To get a grip on myself

I set aside

A little time

To

Talk to myself




...To The Things That I've Learned Along The Way
Carla Marie 2011

Blanket of diva fireflies… celebration of Summer Dusk… silently

dancing… their flashy dance… syncopated rhythm… six inches

above… the bobbing heads… of too tall grass… twinkling… twirling...

ebbing… flowing… ‘til Mr. Moon shows up… and tries to wreck this party...

but it ain’t over… cuz the crickets… always in the mood to

jam… bust out with that sweet percussion… while... cicadas come in

softly… then crest... then moan... those serious background

vocals… the alley cats howl a funky refrain… and the night owls

work the chorus…

seducing me to join…

but…

since I’m…

not flashy… not rhythmic… can’t howl… and don’t moan…


I just bring some sweet tea… lie in the too tall grass…

and enjoy the show...



Come Too Far To Turn Back Now
Carla Marie 2012

in the darkest hour, after the day is done, TV’s are off, and the melody of

our house has settled to the muted percussion of ticks and creaks... and

again sometimes when the night is fading but the clocks have yet to

chime the new day...

he whispers a song to me...

warm and fuzzy, eyes still closed, i surface to sweet and funky exhalation

just above the ear curve...

softly whisper-singing... almost to himself...

“And I feel fine anytime she's around me now
She's around me now
Just about all the time
And if I'm well you can tell she's been with me now
She's been with me now quite a long, long time
And I feel fine…”

snuggle deeper... inhale the sweet funky aroma of his breathy song…

and I feel fine too…

I’m on my way… to my own personal… on the inside…
Celebration… ya know?
Cuz I realized… I already did the tuffest jobs I’ll ever do…
I done raised my kids…
loved my loves…
bumped my head…
learned my lessons…
fought my fights…
forgiven my foes…
and finally…finally…
forgiven…
my… self..

And I’ve come far…
A long loooong way…
But I know I still got a long way to go…
So
I just might get me a push-up bra…
and a low-cut blouse…
And maybe a weave… and some New Journey shoes…
For my new journey.. some new high heels will
Certainly do…
Heels high enuf to make my
Thighs stand out… and
My ankle turn just so... and
My Hips sway when I step… and
My skirt tail snap when I pass… and
When I pass…
I’ma give a little look over my shoulder… like this…

So you can see…
That I saw you see me…

But I’m just gon give a LITTLE look
Cuz I can’t look BACK
For TOO long!
See, I might be tempted to TURN back…
An try to
re-do somethin’… or
explain somethin’... or
fix somethin’… or
cry over somethin’…

And I’ve just plain come too far!!!
Baby… I’ve
Come too far to turn back now…
And still got a long long way to go…


Come Too Far To Turn Back Now
Carla Marie 2012

How disconcerting…


Brace for a fight

Lace up the gloves

Vaseline the soft spots

Turn corners on two wheels

Arrive and

Kick in the doors

To find that

The Enemy

Is no longer in existence

Already vanquished

By an even greater enemy

Leaving in its wake

A pitiable thing

Arousing in a decent soul

Compassion…and

Prayers...


For one’s self--

Strength

And for the other--

Mercy…


Nothing honorably left to do

BUT pray

For one ’s self---

Only that God notices

This quiet sacrifice

Cuz there will be no

Forgive-me’s… or

Thank-you’s…or

I-love-you’s… or even

Closure

When one unlaces the gloves

Washes the face

Rolls up the sleeves

And returns

For cruelty

Compassion

For ill will

Tenderness

For Indifference

Clemency

And for Unkindness

Humanity…


And pray

For the other---

Only

Mercy…

Have Mercy…

Have Mercy Lord…

I avert my eye

To give a man his privacy and his pride

To not see you cry for her

Deep and heartbreaking

Chest rumbling sobs that

Vibrate the bones… and

Steal the breath…



And make a note to self…



You were the children of best friends together...

To become lovers when you noticed each other with lover’s eyes

You were the children of farmer’s together…

To become rich… only to forget to be camels… and

Get through the eye of a needle together… so

I avert my eye

To give a man his privacy and his pride



To not see you

Desperately in love... and

Frantically desperate

In her final agonizing days

To make up for lost time…

To find the breadcrumbs

That will lead you back home…

To find the path

That you strayed from…

To find it again… too late



I avert my eye

And make a note to self