My words don't sound half hearted
When they come from my hands.
When I want to make everything better,
I'll write to you.
Just promise you'll be okay

Hearing the fuzz of the static between the lines as you laugh nervously: It feels like waking up to a child who has found your acrylic paints, who is brushing hasty strokes of posey on your cheeks -

Like half-heartedly composing your poise on a river rock, holding your center, knowing if you lose your steady, you have to fall,

Fall into something that feels like first breath of air you breathe when you step off a train, knowing yesterday is gone, knowing the person you are now is ready to embark.

early morning,
quiet runs
feet on the pavement,
as quiet as the warmth
I made for myself

You and I are stuck in the liminal space
Between once and again
You are everything and everything
You are holiness and sin
You are everything and everything
(Always, and always again)

I never got to tell you

you opened doorways
inside of me, pathways
candlelit hallways

I know I deserve better.
Trust me, I know.
But I don't want better; I want you.
And I don't drink, so I can't drown you out of my bloodstream.
The last thing on my breathe isn't *****; it's your kiss,
And when you kissed me you held me so close I wished I was an avalanche.
The way we pushed each other so much, if we got any closer we'd collide into a million pieces of stardust.
I cringe every time I see you in my wake,
My dark blue sunbeam,
stopping to hold my waist and collapse into me. It's like we're a hundred miles away but I can feel like gravity tugging between us,
And I'm afraid to lift my feet off the ground because I'll be ****** up through the air and into your arms, right where I belong.
If I ever see you again I know I'll die, carrying inside me what used to be organs and bones
But is now a block of charcoal waiting for you to set ablaze.
You're a fire and I'm freezing,
Debating whether or not I'd rather lie down and sleep, slowing dying of the cold, or walk right into the fire and feel it caress me until I don't realize I'm dead.