"why are you looking at me like that?"

"like what?"

"like you're going to fall in love with me."

"maybe i am."

"no, don't."

"why not?"

"because girls like me fall in love with boys like you, until there isn't any love left to share, and then boys like you leave girls like me."

"isn't that the best part? falling in love again, with a different person? experiencing new things?"

"well, maybe i don't want new things. maybe i want the same thing over, and over again, but it feels new because every time we look at each other its like we meet for the first time."

"i don't know if you'll find that."

"i'm sure as hell i will."

it hurt to hurt,
and watch them hurt,
but we had to hurt,
because if we didn't,
then the hurt wouldn't go away,
and if the hurt didn't go away,
then we'd never stop being hurt,
and it would be a never-ending cycle
of watching them hurt,
while i hurt too.

nothing in this world
could hurt more
than silently watching
the one you love,
love someone else

i wish it was me
you were desperately
trying not to get jealous over

let's put it this way,
am i something real to you,
or just a date outlined in hearts
on your Instagram page

there's only so many steps
you can take
until you reach the top,
but when that's not enough,
you fall off

i cannot put into words, the suffering i go through trying to get over you.

my heart drops,
literally drops down to my toes,
when you talk to her.

and i'll try with all my might to smile,
but the happy grin gets bullied by my emotions,
and turns into a deep scowl.

i encourage myself not to think about you,
but the dreams sneakily slip past my subconscious,
and i'm completely engulfed in visions of your voice,
or your touch.

it is so hard,
so painstakingly hard,
to get over you,
when every day i look up from my book in literature class,
and see you nonchalantly stroll right in,
while i try to compose the deep thumping in my chest,
you sit down right next to me,
like always,
and smile,
or laugh,
have full conversations,
and share memories,
but never with me.

i wish i could get over you,
but your so intricately wired into my brain,
that you won't be leaving anytime soon.