"boys will never love you when you harm yourself. that's disgusting."

well mother,

"men will never love you if you drink yourself into an oblivion, and completely ignore your family. that's disgusting."

the most painful type of love
is the unrequited kind.

then again i rather feel pain than nothing at all..

We only have four years left of piles of homework, annoying teachers, parties that go on until the early morning, making stupid mistakes, not worrying about our futures, and falling stupidly, and whole-heartedly in love. We have four years left of growing up and them that's it, we're grown ups and all the stupid drama that happened in high school will mean nothing, and all the friends and experiences we shared will be memories. Our first lives, and first time will be thoughts in the back of our minds as we go off into the new and uncharted world of college. And all the worries there will be amplified bc it's bigger, and more important than any petty high school or middle school projects. I'm afraid to fail my future, I'm afraid to grow up, and there's only four ******* years left until we have to do that

i think you are like a drug.
when i'm around you there's this
overwhelming sense of calm,
but euphoria at the same time.
you make my emotions a hundred
times stronger than they usually are,
and that scares me.

what if i overdose on that feeling,
and you leave?

you'll be left fine,
while i'll be met with
withdrawals,
and i don't know
if i can take that,
because everyone
has a breaking point.

congratulations i'm addicted.

it hurts to breath,
and pains me to smile.
the light in my eyes is forced,
and my words are produced manually.

bad things happened, and i have to pretend they didn't.

when you touched without
my permission,
you took away my
right to say 'no'

yes i said i was done loving you,
but i would be lying if i said
that my heart doesn't jump
at the thought of you.