I
Behind his eyes of Laser Blue
I have a history as brief as titsi-flies
Behind a furrow or a dormant smile's bloom
I am indentured
by his manipulations,
lessened by his education
and I am supposedly the one he loves...?
So, there in the bear-hug of his lies
I am mute in delirium
copulation cranked to carnival speeds
Because he has power in the unspoken
as vaporous as white smoke
incantations & sorcery
fish hooks my love into my doom
I understand that gaze
I commit to its kaleidoscope
variegated faces
for every season and holiday
each hour etched is an emotion
pretend and pretense
Splayed
Muscle, toned,
limbs limned in liquids
arms of a giant squid
the transparent center:
a cluster of homosexuals suckling...
He is Captain Nemo, submariner
mad haired scientist,
testing each concoctions' mixed diversions
and perversions / replete to repeat
how we all un-burden ourselves
to him, patience
is an old man with an oil burner...
I am transfixed
a lobotomy experiment of chopsticks
and peppermint schnapps
who's time has misplaced it's tick.
II
I am aerodynamic...
Because the laws of attractions
commonalities not flesh on flesh
or polysyllabic meals of kisses
none are removed from him
He weaves his wizard's wand
fantasia music to magic ***
to a whistle's whim,
while I chimp out puzzles complex
just to gain praise and admiration.
(As he vanishes to rendez vous
another grinder, another victim,
another name game)
For behind his hood
and hat of tormenting's tricks
I have glimpsed his true nature
like Midus whose touch once harsh straw,
rumpled in his still-skins
complete with fanatical flaws
I witness an aging ram
horned, silver haired satyr...
I am a deer in headlights
every time I am shocked by my own
naievette
like sheep to a herder
steering a flock,
a troop, a school, a ******
unguided paths that shape themselves
by the traffic of every foot.
I have grown blank
no mirth or self-contrition
this rat retreats into moist dark spaces
to converse with paranoid shadows...
Behind his eyes
even when he mistakes his conjuring
excuses tangled among false & fallacies
but stupidity is
the only spell he never casts
upon my helicopter spinning mind
III
He has transformed me not to a toad
with a swollen desire
to croak / a burp
but turned me
into a boomerang...
Flung high with speed
inaccurately to flee blind
uncertain as wind-shears in Chicago
but still returns to suffer
A beaten Benji,
and still an Ole' Yeller defender of truth
I remain
knicked, knocked, chipped
licked - not yet
but seemingly to his soul's spotlight
dead.
Thrown out
to welcoming skies so blue
still there's an anger behind his eyes
I understand / it will be the end of me
I am unable to discern
our story - where dying heroes lay
when they realize
tragedies end unluckily...
But a boomerang
knows not reasoning to leave
and be victim
to its own nature's treason,
it does not question why
nor weep helplessly
yet it also does not sing
celebrating when in its master's hand
yet comes home
unhappily half alive
I suffer like the boomerang
still my own company
without
compass or wayward destination
give in to it's predestined
abilities
in high flight always returning,
whistles to the joy of living
you see, a yo-yo can not fly
I have become acquainted with heaven's sky
kingdom of light
familiar to it's shine
delight in my unforeseen
demise
(my magic kiss kiss
imagination bang bang!)*
I am a divine toy of life,
be it
a boomerang.
For TTH Farewell.