my ears that once peaked
now go without motion
bones that now creak
move without a single notion

the lively tracks that once were
are broken melodies on a disc
but the memories of her
just can't be whisked

those hazel eyes
i once longed to see
have simply cut their ties
and no longer stare back at me

the hardest goodbyes
are the ones in vain
with untold lies
and two hearts of strain.

Bathed in moon beams,
                                         I saw you.
You stood there without conviction,
As if the intention of your existence could keep the universe from falling apart.  
My hands won't steady,
                                          the thought of giving away precious pieces of myself is transient.  Quick, similar to a kiss that has become a habit, magic; never knowing if the next will ever be the last.
    But my heart swings like pendulum,  chest-heavy, hesitation.  Polishing every tool I can teach myself to use as an excuse to protect what's underneath.
   You promise,
                        I pretend as though you didn't enchant me while I watch you walk away.

i wanted to write you poetry but my hands haven't stopped shaking since you told me you didn't believe in love but you believed someone would one day put up with me and i can't tell whats ending and whats beginning im sure i'd like to say our relationship began last night but it would taste sour in my mouth to lie like that and i like how you say youll never grow up and you want to throw away what you have and kiss people and taste like alcohol all the time youre not realistic and your head is under water i can't even try to make myself write about you because every adjective is risky and i am on thin ice between hating you and caring too much what you think

Your life is a book and you should live it page by page. You shouldn't skip ahead and read the ending. You are the author and you decide what happens. Don't let anyone else tell you how to write it. Don't put down the pen and end it just because someone else doesn't like it. Fill your story with romance and heartbreak, adventure and mystery. Fill it with evil villains and trusty sidekicks. But you are the hero of your own story. You don't realize what an amazing impact you have on people. You save people's lives everyday. People love you and you don't realize it. The story could end one day and everyone would be devastated. The character that changed their lives would be gone, forever. Don't let that hero die. Never put down the pen no matter what happens, because believe it or not people love you and your story and they don't want to see either come to an end.

The raindrops are the alarm to our sleeping souls

But worry not, for my heart is the shelter for both of us

We're safe and sound within these warmish walls

Sleeping beauty, mindless of the worldly fuss

Tonight When you are asleep
I will go swimming in the ocean that hides
                     All of loves mysteries
In search of the answer to my question
                   What went wrong  ?
                Forgive me if I drown
I really cant swim but Id do anything to
       to remember why I chose him

I can hear the voices calling me to the gallows, and so speaks my soul.
Softly whispering my darkest secrets
for anyone listening close enough to hear.
Everything I've wanted to keep hidden from everyone, out in the open, hot summers air.
I hear the executioner walking as I wait to take my last breath and fall through the floor.
He reaches the platform, asks me to speak my final words.
Again I find words coming out of my mouth I'm not consciously speaking, everyone falls silent,
he pulls the lever, the floor drops, and my neck snaps.
I wake up from my disillusion only to find myself back where I started.
Searching.
Trapped in my head searching for an escape that is seemingly impossible to find.
No one can save me from this, surrounded by the demons that haunt my thoughts.
I have to overcome them, I have to overcome this.
I won't let them consume me.
I can only save myself.
It's time to remove this hollow mask, shed the shell of who I was and become who I know I need to be.
I've been searching for a savior for far too long,
I am what I've been searching for all this time.
I've been a slave to my demons, letting my conscious existence blur.
I'm taking back control,
until history repeats itself once more.

this house,
this house where I cried so many tears,
this house where I drank my first bear,
this house where wounds went unattended,
this house where I was left alone
this house where my heart grew cold,
this house where the kitchen knives sang,
this house where the past called my name,
this house where I grew small,
this house that knew me,
comforted me and consumed me.