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Mar 2019 · 255
Mirror, Mirror
Ruheen Mar 2019
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who will die, out of them all?

Please just pick one
We're running out of time
Make a choice, it's time to decide

One by one they'll die anyway
What's the point of making them wait?

Only one
That's all I'm asking of you
One for the rest, it's time to choose

Quick and painless, they'll be asleep
They won't feel a thing, trust me

Better now than later
Better safe,
Than sorry.
I have no idea what goes on in my brain. Seriously. I've been trying to figure it out for years.
Mar 2019 · 282
The Stairs of Hell
Ruheen Mar 2019
Nothing is real
         Nothing is promised
                                   Nothing is true
                                                 But I'm being honest
                                                          ­           Take a step forward
                                                         ­                               Take a step closer
                                                          ­           Take a step with me
                                                 We'll fall a little over
                                   Do not trust me
             I won't trust you
Letting you down
             Is what I can do
                               The more you fall                
                                             The deeper you'll dive
                                                            ­          The more you hurt
                                                            ­                     The slower you'll die
                                                             ­         Maybe you'll end up
                                                Where I already am
                           Walk down the steps                                                       
    ­       If you think you can
A warning's been given
                 No time to dwell
                               Please, welcome to
                                                   The stairs of hell.
Well, here you go. Another piece of my mind. Also, just saying, this is nothing. My brain is much more terrifying than this.
Mar 2019 · 382
A Beach
Ruheen Mar 2019
Like the deep blue waters.
You flooded my heart and mind.
And like sand stuck to me.
You never leave.
Either way,
You surround me.
Could be about a person or something more. Something worse.
Take it how you want it.
Mar 2019 · 125
Opinions...
Ruheen Mar 2019
Well, it looks like my opinion doesn't matter.
Oh, wait. I already knew that.
Because it never does.
*sigh* I hate being around people who debate over stupid things.
More like....
I just hate being around people. Period.
Yeah, that's better.
Mar 2019 · 857
Finally...!
Ruheen Mar 2019
I finally screamed.
I finally cracked.
Am I meant to feel better?
Am I? I thought I was going to feel better. Lighter. Like I wasn't lying to everyone around me about how I felt.
Whatever.
Mar 2019 · 164
A Lie
Ruheen Mar 2019
A lie will never become the truth.
And that is true to some extent.
However, to a person who does not know it is a lie,
For them it is the truth.
And if you believe enough in a lie,
It may start to become a reality.
Not all lies, but some.
Nevertheless, a lie will always remain a lie.
Even if one does not know it.
Something to think about.
See?
This is how good I am at lying.
Mar 2019 · 88
Seems Fair
Ruheen Mar 2019
One's own life devoted to make the lives of many others easier.

One's own happiness sacrificed for the happiness of others.

One's own life sacrificed for the lives of a thousand.

One for a million,

Seems fair.
Seems fair to me.
But is it to you?
These are my thoughts. Now I want yours.
So.
Thoughts?
Mar 2019 · 136
Just Another Number
Ruheen Mar 2019
It's just another number.

Just another day.

In years, I may be older,

But I'm still the same.

It's just another number.

I couldn't care less.

Just like yesterday,

I'm still a broken mess.
I'm 13 now. Yay?
Feb 2019 · 887
No Reason
Ruheen Feb 2019
"Why are you crying?"
"Because I have no reason to be happy."
Happy birthday to me...
Feb 2019 · 136
I'M FINE
Ruheen Feb 2019
breathe.
it isn't real.
do not cry.
wake up.
control.
don't scream.
keep it yourself.
you're awake.
just a dream.
pain.
it doesn't hurt.
scars, marks, wounds.
deep cuts.
not bleeding.
compartmentalize.
don't be scared.
lost.
scattered thoughts.
hide it.
please.
I'M FINE.
What I tell myself. I thought, maybe if I say it or write it down enough, I'll start to believe it.
So far nothing.
Feb 2019 · 187
A Longer Night
Ruheen Feb 2019
I feel like writing, but I don't know what to write.
Sorry.
I guess I don't have much to tell.
It's been a long day,
And I think,
I'm about to have an even longer night.
Can't sleep. Too much work. Too much stress. Too much worrying. I have a lot to do.
23/02/19
Feb 2019 · 196
Silent Waters
Ruheen Feb 2019
Silent waters
But crashing waves
Trying to be stronger
For I have too much to save

Treading the water
Lightly
I'm going under
I can't breathe

Don't know how to live
Too much to take
Too much to give
I'm just afraid

I'm falling down
I can't hold on any longer
Watch me drown
In the silent waters
...
Feb 2019 · 91
Never Me
Ruheen Feb 2019
It's them.
It's always going to be them.
It's never me.
I'm always the second choice.
Last and certainly the least.
It's never me.
Self-explanatory. I'm the second choice for everyone, including my family.
Sad, isn't it?
Oh, well, what can you do?
And don't give me all that crap about me being someone's first choice, one day. I already know that.
Waiting is just boring, tiring, and I hate it.
Feb 2019 · 874
One Day
Ruheen Feb 2019
One day someone will care.
One day someone will pick you.
One day you'll be happy.
One day.
One day.
One day.
I'm sick of waiting for one day.
When is it gonna come?
It could be a long time from now.....and waiting isn't fun.
...
Feb 2019 · 227
A Place I Call Home
Ruheen Feb 2019
Home is where the heart is.
Home is with family.
I believed that for a long time.
Until I realized it was wrong.
Home is wherever you can be you.
Where you feel most comfortable.
A place you can go running to.
Wherever you feel safe and understood.
Home is wherever you want it to be.
I just wish I had
A place I could call home.
Wrote this a long time ago. Didn't have the courage to post it until now.
Feb 2019 · 184
Introvert
Ruheen Feb 2019
Simply put; I hate people.

The more complicated version; I hate being around people. Hate hearing them talk and laugh. Hate watching them be happy. Only because I don't want them to see me cry.
...
Feb 2019 · 510
not loose, not tight
Ruheen Feb 2019
lying on the cold hard ground
in a cold dark room
in a pool of my own blood
i can barely move

someone picks me up
and i'm on a stool
hanging by a thread
around my neck's a noose

i'm taking my own life
but i'm not
if they kick it out from under me
i'll be gone

it's not loose
but not tight
just terrible
terrible

the spotlight is on me
people are watching
watching me suffer
what are they doing

i have no control
i can't make decisions
it's all up to them
i'm stuck in a prison

i clench my eyes shut and
let out a silent scream
i'm praying to God
hoping that it's just a dream

it's not loose
but not tight
just terrible
terrible

they have no mercy
i'm not sorry
everything is gone
and so am i
i feel like i have no control. i can't do anything and if i even move, something terrible will happen, and everything will just disappear. maybe even me.
Feb 2019 · 115
Just A Little Advice
Ruheen Feb 2019
BREATHE.
Best piece of advice there is.
Feb 2019 · 124
Just A Question
Ruheen Feb 2019
Why are humans so flipping over-dramatic all the time?
No, seriously, why?
Edit: Can someone please answer? I really want to know why.
Feb 2019 · 1.6k
Missed The Boat
Ruheen Feb 2019
One of the biggest chances
To follow my dream
Was just given to me.
But I didn't take it.
Only because I was trying to be a good friend.
A good person.
For once,
Why couldn't I put myself first?
I didn't just miss the boat.
It's more like I gave it up.
Happy Valentine's Day....not so much for me....
Feb 2019 · 124
Framed
Ruheen Feb 2019
I'm not going to apologize to you.
I'm not going to apologize for something I didn't do.
A mistake,
That I didn't make.
...
Ruheen Feb 2019
Rain drops
Rain falls
On my skin

Laughter
Fading
Escaping

Louder
Footsteps
No more hiding

Salty
Tears
Can't keep it in

Nothing good,
Not all of it bad.
I don't know.
Feb 2019 · 130
Fix Me
Ruheen Feb 2019
Already
Begging
On my knees
I'm pleading
Please
Just Please
Help me
Fix me
.
Feb 2019 · 830
You Never Listen
Ruheen Feb 2019
I tried speaking to you today.
You were right next to me,
But you weren't listening.
Its not like you ever do anyway.
No one ever listens.
...
Feb 2019 · 1.2k
Losing You
Ruheen Feb 2019
I've lost so many people.
I can't help but feel like I'm losing you too.
Maybe I already have.
.
Feb 2019 · 351
I got buried, so should you
Ruheen Feb 2019

I look up at the clock
I look back down
The page is blank
But the words flow out

I start to write
I start to worry
Time is running out
I can't breathe

Clawed hands reach out
They fit 'round my neck
They suffocate me
Until I'm out of breath

The claws push me back
And now I'm in the dark
I'm trapped in a box
Like a work of art

I breathe in dirt
Now I'm underground
Six feet under
Barely making a sound

"Let me out"
I hopelessly scream
"Let me breathe
Please hear me"

It's silent now
I've stopped trying
But I hear a whisper
Relentlessly saying

"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I got buried
So should you"

A nightmare I have all the time. It's weird how I never wake up screaming, I just wake up. Its like sleep paralysis, where I know I'm awake, but I can't get up. When my mind is awake, before my body is.
Feb 2019 · 431
Falling
Ruheen Feb 2019
"I haven't fallen yet."
Is what I would say
If I was still flying.
Now, I'm just wondering
How badly I'll get hurt
When I land.
Oh well, only time will tell.
Jan 2019 · 126
Our Voices
Ruheen Jan 2019
If our voices are such powerful tools, then why don't we use them?
And when we do, why do we use them for the worst?
I'm in Kenya right now, for an MUN conference, and this is what the guest speaker was talking about. He was talking about how we were capable of changing the world with just our voices. Thought of this while he was using his.
Jan 2019 · 570
Mascara
Ruheen Jan 2019
Can't be seen
I'm all alone
My mascara's running
From the tears I let go

No point trying
I can't let go
My mascara's still running
Like it was before

My tears aren't drying
I don't know
Why my mascara's still running
I'm going in circles

Swinging
Back and forth
I can't be bothered
To let go

My mascara's still running
I don't know what for
But I'm not crying
Not anymore
I don't actually use mascara.
Jan 2019 · 158
I Wish Someone Knew
Ruheen Jan 2019
I wish someone knew.
Knew how I felt.
I've gotten so good at lying about how I feel.
No one knows and it's so easy.
It's so easy becoming a person I know I'm not.
So easy letting people believe that I trust them.
They think I'm so happy.
I've tried telling them that I'm not,
But they don't believe me.
That's how good I am.
I wish someone could see
Me crying myself to sleep.
I wish they knew
That the person I write about
Is me.
I wish. For once I didn't have to try so hard when writing. I didn't even know what I was writing until I was finished.
Jan 2019 · 136
Regression To The Mean
Ruheen Jan 2019
All good things must come to an end.
But all bad things should too.
There will always be a balance.
.
Jan 2019 · 200
Cold and Empty
Ruheen Jan 2019
I used to be warm and bubbly

It was effortless

It's so much harder to be

Cold and empty

It takes so much time

So much effort

Yet I can't be anything else

Because cold and empty

Is what I am

And you can't change who you are
You can't. You are who you are. And I for one, hate change, though, I know I can't escape it.
Jan 2019 · 303
Pandora's Box
Ruheen Jan 2019
My mind is a box.
Filled with emotion.
And because I was curious,
I decided to let it out.
But all that came out,
Is hope.
And all I was left with,
Was everything else.
None of it good.
If there is only darkness within me,
Will there ever be any light?
I think it's a rhetorical question...I think.
Also, it's not really a box, it's a jar. A 'pythos' to be specific.
Jan 2019 · 944
Black Rose
Ruheen Jan 2019
Black rose,
There's no hope.
The colors fade away.
All there's left is pain.

Black rose,
Let it go.
There's nothing else left.
Watch the flower melt.

Black rose,
Don't you know?
Don't be crying.
Create a silver lining.

I'd rather be dead,
Than stuck in my head.
Drained of color.
It can't get any duller.

Like a black rose,
I let it grow.
I let the darkness
Engulf me long ago.
...
Jan 2019 · 1.2k
Reflection
Ruheen Jan 2019
I look in a mirror.
I see my reflection.
Staring back at me.

I look in a window.
I see my reflection.
Running from me.

I look in the water.
I see my reflection.
It's rippling.

But all this time.
When I see my reflection.
My reflection is the wall behind me.
...
Jan 2019 · 659
Behind Her Eyes
Ruheen Jan 2019
Look through her eyes.
What do you see?
Do you see her burn,
In her memories?

Look through her eyes.
Watch her sleep.
She knows where we are.
And she knows about me.

Look through her eyes.
And fake a smile so sweet.
But remember what she did.
When they both swapped bodies.

Look through her eyes.
Do you see the fear?
Do you see him coming?
He's ever so near.

Look through her eyes.
Look through her dreams.
Find the second door,
Before he kills me.
Based on the book 'Behind Her Eyes' by Sarah Pinborough. I absolutely loved this book, and recommend it to anyone who loves a good plot twist.
Jan 2019 · 137
Why?
Ruheen Jan 2019
Some questions can never be answered.
Only because no one knows the answer.
Others cannot be answered because an answer does not exist.
Whereas, some questions do not need an answer at all.
It's a funny thing, a question.
So many different answers, yet even more reasons as to why there is no answer.
Just a thought I had while asking a question
Jan 2019 · 129
Peace
Ruheen Jan 2019
You want peace?
Hate to break it to you, but,
You'll have to **** every human
On this Earth,
For that to happen.
And maybe you should.
Maybe we deserve to die.
We do more harm than good
Anyway.
***** human beings.
Jan 2019 · 714
Chameleon
Ruheen Jan 2019

I'm a chameleon.
But I change
so much,
and it's been
so long,
that I forgot
what color I
started with.
I'm a chameleon.
Now the
colors flow,
and eventually,
they start to
blend
together.
I used to be
a rainbow.
I'm a chameleon.
The colors
fade away.
Leaving me
behind.
Now underneath
it all,
you can only
see,
Plain, old me.
I'm a chameleon.
It's who I am.
Even though
the colors
disappeared,

I never will.

.
Jan 2019 · 678
I'll Tell You.
Ruheen Jan 2019
I'll tell you a story,
It's gonna be good.
A boy and a girl
Wishing for what they could,
Never have,
Even though they should.
And in the end
We know they would.
I'll tell you a secret.
But don't always believe it.
Life isn't like that.
It's not that easy.
People are broken,
And are never happy.
I'll tell you a lullaby,
I'll sing it for you.
It's better than all the lies.
But what can you do?
For every predictable book, movie, or whatever. Something unique would be good too. I don't just want any generic story. I want something different.
Jan 2019 · 161
Earth Is Home
Ruheen Jan 2019
Who are we really?
We walk around this world with no purpose,
Destroying it with our every move.
Do you know why we're here?
Or what we were sent here for?
I don't know why we are here,
Or why we even exist.
All I know is that it certainly wasn't to ruin the home we were so freely given.
...
Jan 2019 · 125
I Saw A Mirror
Ruheen Jan 2019
I saw a mirror.
It was cracked.
From side to side.
And front and back.
~
I saw a mirror.
It had captured.
My reflection.
Left it shattered.
~
I saw a mirror.
It's pieces scattered.
Bad luck?
It doesn't matter.
Well....it is what it is.
Jan 2019 · 380
On the Edge
Ruheen Jan 2019
I thought I found a way out.
I thought that I could get away.
But you never disappear.

I thought you would chase after me.
I thought you would hunt me down,
But you just sat there, waiting.

I thought I wouldn't return.
I thought I left it all behind,
But you knew I would come back.

Somehow, I always came back.
I couldn't let you go.
Even though you ruined me.

I could run, but never hide.
But I could never run fast enough.
You always pulled me back.

I could run to the edge of the world,
You'd still find me.
My only escape is death.

But then again,
Jumping from the edge of a cliff
Seems like too much.

Learning to live with you
Is not an option.
I think I'm better off running.
Figure out what I'm talking about.
On the edge of...every single thing.
Whatever this is can't seem to leave me alone.
I'm so done.
Jan 2019 · 740
It's Kinda Funny
Ruheen Jan 2019
It's kinda funny.
Strangers, online,
Know more about me
Than people
I've known my
Whole life, do.
Y'all know me better than anyone else.
Jan 2019 · 181
Ignorance
Ruheen Jan 2019
They say ignorance is bliss.
But what about when you're the one being ignored?
For that,
They should say ignorance is misery,
Instead.
.
Jan 2019 · 340
What A Heart!
Ruheen Jan 2019
What a delicate heart!
One touch and you'll shatter.
Treat yourself like fine art,
So the price won't matter.

What a sensitive heart!
I already see some of the cracks.
Such a bad start.
I hope we won't watch you collapse.

What a brave heart!
You act like you're getting stronger,
Yet you break down in the dark.
You can't take it any longer.

What a heart!
Delicate, sensitive and brave.
Promise me you won't break,
Even though it's what you crave.
Lot of heartbreak going around. Seen a lot of it. It's one of the most painful things in the world, yet everyone is bound to go through it at some point in life. You can't escape heartbreak, no matter how hard you try. It's like our hearts crave to be broken.
Jan 2019 · 1.5k
Music To My Ears
Ruheen Jan 2019
How I lose myself in me,
When I hear your melody.
What a lyrical performance,
Like a swan upon the ocean.
Touch the sky, come back down.
No limits when you're around.
Your words are timeless.
Such a beautiful mess.
Even when it's raining emotions.
It's still such a lovely moment.
You leave it out in the open,
Even though you’re broken.
Yout fight all you fears,
You fight all your tears.
I hear you, even when you disappear.
'Cause your voice is music to my ears.
Originally a song (As usual). Figured it could work both ways.
I don't know what compelled me to write this. Maybe it was the amount of healing hearts I've seen. Maybe it was the amount of love.
This is something different because it's not about loneliness. It's about having someone. It's about how much someone means to you. You accept all their flaws even when they don't. You're there for them, always, and their opinion matters to you. They still mean so much to you, even when they're gone.
This is like nothing I've written before. It's sort of....less dark..?
:)
Jan 2019 · 1.1k
Walking Away
Ruheen Jan 2019
Maybe we should just put down the puzzles
And leave it all behind.
Everything would be so much easier,
If we could just walk away.
.
.
.
Well, when someone figures out how to do that,
Let me know.
Because walking away is the hard part.
Everything would be so easy if we could just walk away from our hectic lives, but walking away.....too hard.
Jan 2019 · 179
Random
Ruheen Jan 2019
~
ZDGREFSTJHNOUYLOPMNBQWA
~
A bunch of random letters.
Ones you can't understand.

~
FEAR<LOVE<ANGER<SADNESS<FRUSTRATION
~
A bunch of random feelings.
Ones I can't understand.

Do you see a difference?
I don't.
All I see is a bunch of random,
No one understands.
...
Jan 2019 · 256
I Know You, But I Don't
Ruheen Jan 2019
I thought I knew you,
But I guess not anymore.
I knew the old you.
You thought you knew me too, right?
But you don't, 'cause I've changed too.
People change. You think you know someone, but then you realize that you don't.
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