I have no name
What else is there to say
I have no guide
No way to know if the words will end
So what do I say?
Do I prattle on until everything is on the mend
Or do I just sit here in silence
And hope for the best?

Options, options
What should I say?
Should I have a meaningful speech
Where I say that everyone is great?
Or should I say something along the lines
Of how my life is ****...
(I know that I do that. No false pretenses here!)

Jeez. I just don't know what to do
With the letters, and words
I've been given
Hopefully, I can find a title
Lacking a poem

I feel like a light bulb
Trapped in a lampshade
I am unable to shine
At my full potential
I am just glowing
A dull useless hue of gray
That is all people ever see
Please, remove my lampshade
Let me shine

I don't want to hear it
Don't tell me a thing
I am just a person
Who wants to write
Don't tell me anything
About what is what
And what you like
And what you hate
Don't talk to me
Don't approach me
I want to respect your privacy
If you promise to respect mine
I will be polite
But it doesn't mean that I will trust
Or agree with anything you say
I am just warning all of you
That I am this way for a reason
And I am prepared to fight
To keep everything just safe
Fine and dandy
So leave me alone
I am warning you

You never listen to me
There is never time for me
Never any time to acknowledge
My very existence
There is no time
For us to be at one
Never any time for you to listen
To anything I say
My thoughts, my emotions
I just want you to listen
Is that so hard to do?
Is it bad for you to listen to me
When all I do is listen to you?

When we are aiming for equality
And people really need it
Should we start pointing out the difference?
Why don't the signs say, "Lives Matter!"
Instead of something so specific.

The thing is, we are equal as humankind
But we are each so unique
So can we ever really achieve
This amazing thing called equality?

I like your poem
To let you know that I'm there
I will love the poem
To let you know I care
Sometimes, I just look at that heart
And think about sending the best of wishes
Having gone through too much
In too few years
But my judgment
Is clouded by fear
By all those people
Who knows not what I mean
I understand too much
For my own good
I know what it's like to be hooked
On something that is horrible
And drawn to the silvery blade
To lose someone to their emotions
And to love someone that will never love you back
And just the opposite of that
I know what it is like
So I loved your poem
And liked it just for good measure

Masked by silence
Making you think
That he wasn't the person he was
All of the ****** thoughts
That were constantly swirling in his head
Protected by a look
That could put fear
Into a bear's eyes

Masked by a personality that isn't her own
Making you think
She is something that she never was
Something that she'll never be
Fear holds her in its hands
Telling her to wear the mask
To not let anyone close enough
To see what she really is on the inside

These people met one day
They fell in love with the mask
That covered their lover
And told them that everything was fine
Over time the masks slipped
And they were found to be
Incompatible
While their hearts started to ache
To just let go
And let the person behind the mask
Follow you to places unknown
Shrouded by darkness
Where no one can see
The mask and the person wearing it
For they don't want to break another heart
By letting them see what's inside
For they were both masked
Fearing everything but the night

I suppose the meaning of life
Is something beyond
What any of us can understand
That we get lost amidst
The shooting stars
The bright lights
Then the shadows of life
Start to pull us into the night
But the meaning of life
Must be for people like me
And you
When we write poems
That help them to feel

I suppose the meaning of life
Is nothing more
Than get what you give
And love who you love
Live the life that you will always want

The meaning of life
Must be to learn
From mistakes past made
And fix the future
With our heart
The meaning of life
Must be to live it
Just as we are

i sit on the throne
blood and mercury dripping down my silver crown
made of sharp diamonds and blades
regal dark green dress as i smile down at you
i've lost myself
but honestly, i don't care
the power rush is too much
sweet heart, best you leave before i hurt you

it's cold in my castle all alone
but for once i control something

I continue to lie to myself
Tell myself that everything is fine
And that I'm jolly right
But that's not the truth
I mean why would it be
When everything is so momentary

My voice is monotone
My emotions dull
As my heart beats like a persistent drum
I've been trying to find my own nirvana
My escape from pain
I thought I found it
Turns out that it was a trap

The moon is dark
The sun is light
They bring us day
Followed by night
A time when everything is quiet
And still
When you can do anything you want
Of your own will
Moon brings us peace
Knowing that we have to face another day
Where the sun brings us time
Waiting for another night to go by
Sun means war upon my skin
Moon means the pleasant night is bound to begin
Calling all of my men
To come protect me from the sun
Blistered and scarred
Waiting for the night to start

The moon shines on this forest tonight
As you lie here next to me
And I turn my head trying to meet your eyes
It is then that my delusion of you disappears
And everything is the way that it should be

But who am I to say anything
When the moonlit forest shines so bright
And the tree bows are bathed
In soft silvery light and everything
Is a glow in this lovely night

This moonlit forest surrounds me
As I plead for help
And my desperation turns to anxiety
Everything that is there
Is not supposed to be

In this moonlit forest,
Nothing is as it should be

it calls to me,
coos out my name and a sweet song
sung only by those who know her as a love;
but who needs to know that?
it is but useless information
until you hear the song of the moon
and in it's kindness you weep.
her sweet heart sits on your sleeve
dripping a sweet silver dew
of understanding nights
wishing you were her
if only to be admired by so many
just like you.

it is all for not
until it isn't a worthless effort any more;
breathing underneath her radiance, belong only to that of old gods,
the ones that god abandoned when we didn't feel the need for them anymore.
but the moon,
she stayed
as we loved underneath her glow
her mercury-esque cast shadows.
her sweet blaze falls pleasantly on your smile
and i feel the moon in my heart once again;
think of her kindness to me
in nights of dew-dripped eyes,
and flattering silhouettes.
i think of her now,
looking at you.

I packed everything up
walked away with my head down
I wasn't done living
I wasn't ready to leave

all my friends waved goodbye
they all wished me luck
they'll never know how much I love them
how much they meant

the tires move softly on the road
that is never-ending
until potholes dip down
and are jolting

life is hard
and I'm tired of moving on

maybe it was supposed to be this way
maybe I was supposed to leave

but right now I'm tired
and I want to go to sleep,
so don't make me move on
I'm not ready

The river flowing on my cheeks
Is drowning out the sounds
Of the apocalypse
With just the right kind
Of crying music

I've got music to my tears
That flows whenever
The dam decides to burst

The guitar is an effortless stream
While the soft bass is the rhythm of my heart
Music to my tears
The brushstrokes of my art

The sound waves flow
Through the earbuds
Protruding from under my shirt
Sending calming endorphins
And lovely drugs for my brain

Music to my tears
For the worse of fears

I came here to escape
To find refuge in people like me
Guess I ran for no reason
Because they found me here
I ran from life
From things that caused to much pressure
But I ran for nothing at all
Because here they are

As the dull whispers of night
Become hopeless to obtain
I run here
Try to find my escape
But the trees touch my hair
Comb through all of my problems
And the mountains block the sun
Just another thing that I've been running from

My escape was fun while it lasted
I ran for all my might
But they have found me here
All of the problem that I ran from

Nothing
Nothing
Nothing
At all
Is coming to mind
All of the words
They mean nothing
None are wise
No rhyming lines
That seem clever
I have nothing today
And I suppose that is the way it should stay
Nothing
Forever
Nothing for any of the days
Not any more

If I couldn't feel
Would you call me strong?
If my eyes never started to well,
Would I be good enough?
If I was dependent
If I was putting out
Would I ever be liked
By someone that I loved?
Or would there still be no one

If I was less of myself
More of everyone else
Would you think that I was nice?
If I blended into the crowd,
Would that surprise you?
Would it make me
Just another victim
To your sightless eyes?
Or would I just be no one?

If I was a girl that could be loved
Just as easily as it spilled from my blood
Would you love me then?
Maybe if I was pretty enough,
Perhaps I had a smile,
If my defense wasn't to be rough
And live in constant denial,
Would you see me then?
Or would I still be no one

I am tired of living under a guise
Of words that cut like a knife
And being unseen
To the nakedest of eyes
They wonder why I am so tough,
Why I have never shed a single tear
They must think that my life is fine,
That it's better to hurt than be hurt
But they don't no how much hurt
Goes into being no one

No one wants to hear the truth
About the people behind the words

The singers who hide themselves
Amongst their guided armor of hurt

The poets whose pain drips from their pen
Their everlasting sword

The writers whose stories are
Really not that fake

Tell me when you want to hear the truth
I will speak it to your face

Instead of talking behind your back
Instead of making your heart ache

Don't tell me all the things I want to hear
Because the only thing that I want to hear

Is the truth from your very lips

I don't feel anything right now
Not a distinction of pain or sorrow
Nor a tad bit of happiness, let alone glee
I'm sorry to say that I feel nothing

The fake words upon your lips
Beckon me closer to everything that is you
Pulling me into a world
That is drenched in blue

Nothingness creeps upon me
Like an unrelenting stalker
I am the goal, I'm what it wants
All nothing wanted to do was feel

When the night is over
And we are no longer young
I want to remind you of the days of nothing
And all of what you've done to me

There was nothing I could do
As the knife sunk into your flesh
I was unaware
Of all the pain that I was causing you
The blade that I had
Steadily sinking into you skin
And there was nothing I could do
But say sorry and beg for acceptance from you

I'm so sorry that I hurt you
I never meant you any harm
Sorry for all of the lies that I told
And sorry for the times that you believed them

But there was nothing I could do
As the blade I wielded broke your flesh
And the marks that I made deepened
Causing so much pain

But there was nothing that I could do
There was nothing to be done that could possibly save you

Nothing more dangerous than the blade tearing into my skin
Nothing scarier than the exhilarating pain that comes from the knife
You told me that I was ******* up
That there was something wrong with me
I didn't argue with you
For I knew that it was true
And I wonder what you have done with my blade

It felt so right
Blade covered in my blood
The little wounds on my arm that declared me insane
Until you told me that I needed a change

You ask me now, 'would you still do it, if given the choice?'
I say no and keep playing the most dangerous game
Little do you know that I still yearn for the silvery blade
The feel of the knife against skin
Perfect little marks on my arm
Calling me with their raised red bits of skin
There's nothing more dangerous than your brain, what you think
And being truly insane

i don't even think that i'm heart broken
i don't think that it hurts that much
i just feel something else inside that isn't okay
that isn't happy or light
it's like an infection running deep
heavily dragging at my heart
like stupidity and hopelessness
i'm trying to dream up a way
to make this hurt less
so far,
not much is working

Don't tell me
That I am being weak

Because I have seen too much
To become weak

I'm not weak
Mentally or otherwise

I am the tree they lean on
When they can no longer stand

I'm not weak
I am human

And as humans
We are never perfect

But I am far from weak
And so are you

None of us can be strong forever
Not even the strongest

The same water
That softens the potato
Hardens the egg
It's not the circumstances
It is if what you are made

and here i am again
running to this website
to cower behind a screen
and try to make people feel like they're actually needed
hoping that for once,
my pathetic existence meant something to someone
that they can read my poem and know that
you're not alone
in feeling like you're unwanted
like you could exit this earth stage left
and no one would care
you're not alone in feeling like a burden
or a phase for someone to grow out of,
someone else has been there.
so here i am
again
cowering behind a screen
thinking to myself
if only i could make a difference
if only i could save a life
if only my words could have so much meaning to someone somewhere
that i might just be part of the reason they didn't die
part of the reason they feel loved
or understood
because the world is a cruel place
people don't play by the rules

and usually someone winds up getting hurt
not you darling
not  today.

I am tired of being defined by numbers
How many likes you get on this,
How many followers do you have on that,
What is your weight?
Are you considered fat?
Numbers that rank me
Am I good in math?
No, sadly I have failed that class,
Along with every other class that year,
If I told you how many, you would laugh and jeer
But this is not a joke
No, it most certainly is not
I am tired of being defined by numbers
And always being asked how much

I carry the last name
Of a man who violated me
They didn't change my name
Because I was too young
To speak the truth
About what happened to me

But when you're three
And you're talking about things
You don't learn about until you're 11
People should believe you, right?

The court smiles at me, a menacing grin
As they tell me 'you're ****** for sure'
And then they walk away
Satisfied with their case

And here I am now
Writing that name on papers
Because they need my last name
But I don't belong to that name
Not does it belong to me

You can't hold me hostage with your name
You can't tell me that I'm crazy
That I'm lost my head
But what you can do is **** right off
And take your name with you

I hate this last name
That I have for the rest if my life
I hate this name you gave me
Along with your abuse

Writing with disgust
Everytime I write that stupid
Last name
Your name

all the stars are soaked in tears.
all of the night's darkness covered in concealer
and precariously perched sunglasses.
the moons craters can be healed by some cold water
and carefully applied eyeliner.
but why should we cover what happened?
i mean, it just happened,
it just is.
it's not anything except itself,
right?
there are special tears reserved for the night,
for those particular shadows.
sometimes, it's best that the sun doesn't get jealous
that the moon is the only one who gets to see you like this.
'why love the moon
when it is only a reflection?' the sun asks
'it's like loving a mirror,
it's never going to be real'

oh but the moon knows why you love it
there is no such flattering light
as that which falls on your tears
when you decided to stop brushing them away.

only in dreams
do i let myself feel happy
only in dreams
do i finally let loose
let my mind venture into depths unexplored
only in my dreams
do i say all of the pretty words
that irrelevant to reality
only in dreams
have i loved you
or at least let myself
because when i love in real life
it hurts

I am exhausted
I just want some sleep
But all I could do
Is stay up writing
I've my computer
Equipt with music
And this website
I have nothing to fear
Other than the night
I just want to get some rest
Lay my weary head abreast
To whatever it is
I am attempting to achieve
I'm so tired,
Please let me get some sleep
Nothing has upset me more
When I am feeling stuff
That I can't ignore
But if I cannot identify these overwhelming feeling
That have all become one
Does that mean that they are really feelings
Or just exhaustion?
Please let me sleep
I'm so ******* tired
My eyes remain open,
Mind unflustered
I am feeling too much at the moment
Things that I cannot comprehend.
I should put down my computer
And just go to bed
But I can't
Because I am feeling something I cannot name
And the tears that I long for
Never came
I just want to know
What it is I'm feeling
And why it is I feel this way
I want to know
If this stupid feeling
I have had so many times before
Is here to stay
Please let me sleep
Mind, let me go
Brain, will me to be free
I just want to get some sleep

Sorry, I'm out of emotion to put into my poems
I'm done writing because I am too tired to think of a plot
Rhyming is to hard to do and I have no idea what next
But I'm just out
That's all I can say
I have nothing to say
No more to feel
And the cold hand knocking on my door
Hasn't evoked any fear

I wish that I wasn't out
I wish there was something
To keep me from breaking down
But alas, I shall just sit here
Out

sitting here waiting
waiting, waiting still
but you'll never be here will you?
you'll never show up in time,
so i'll be sitting here waiting
wishing for your magical appearance
like a magic show you pay me to watch.
keeping me hooked on your constant entertainment
needing you to be there
but you're not going to show up.
so i'll be sitting here waiting.
see you when i see you, i guess.

but all in all,
you're tricks aren't all that bad
i can still love you
can still find joy in your words
and the way your hands move

i can't help myself
if i'm paid to put up with it...
paid to watch
i'm fine with it
i love it,
in fact.

i wish there were more magic shows like yours
so that when you disappear
i won't have to be alone

I see people
And think of the fastest way to run
The shortest route to safety
When I find myself
In a place that I don't know
My heart stops
And I question
What will happen with the roof
After it falls on me
What bombs have been set
And how long until they go off
Don't look me in the eye
Because all the people who have
Wound up with a blade in their hand
A blade in my back.

People have seen with me
With my short dyed hair

But they haven't known me
And they are already avoiding me

I don't know
What they think of me

But I bet it goes something like this:

"I bet she hasn't a home to go to after this"

"Oh, the poor dear looks horrible,
I am glad I never looked like that"

" What drugs is this freakaziod on? "

" What was she thinking? "

"    Why is she like that?     "

But I have always wondered,



"               Why do they care?              "

The photograph stares back at me
With gleaming animal eyes
I wonder what thoughts
Dare to survive in his mind
Thoughts about me
That should be quickly shunned away
But linger just long enough for pain
As tears bite at my eyes
I wonder where you went
The man in this photo
Is no longer the person that you are
And everything is worthless
A useless map
Guiding me to places unknown
Places with a lack of hope
And overflowing with wishes
To bring back the dead
But that would be to easy
Waving your hand to bring back the person that you were
Nothing could bring back the man in this photograph
Not a single word could change your mind
And anything could be done to change mine

The girl sits alone
With her head cupped in her hands
Her tears spill into the puddle at her feet
And I wonder if it what there before
'Please don't cry,'
I tell the girl
Just as I start to cry too
I don't know
That she is crying for the same reason I am
She is crying because of the loss
For losing what you know best
For me, it was my mind
For her, it was him

'Please don't cry my dear,'
I mutter through tears
'You don't need him,
He did nothing to deserve you,'
I tell her, hoping the sobs
Will come to an end
'That's just the thing,'
She whispers
Loud enough for me to hear
'He did everything for me,
and I held back because of my fears.'

I don't understand
Why anyone would want to be pretty
When they could be unique
I know that I would rather be me
Than be pretty
Sorry to say that looks ain't all that
But trust me,
It's the character that matters
Not what the character's wearing
It is more beautiful
When the character does something
That is pretty
When they tell you
How amazing the character looks
And how everyone ought to be jealous
I'm sorry,
But I want to match my outside with my in
And if my inside has purple hair,
A lip ring
And stretched ear lobes
Then that's exactly what I want to look like
Because to me, that's an action
And you know that actions
Are really what makes a story
Real

So who here wants to be pretty?

People know how to hurt
But not how to recover
All they seem to do
Is hide under the covers

But one day
When it is all too much
They'll find a way to **** it up
And say that life is good
And all the bad things that happened
Happened under dark hood

Nobody is out to get you
Life is never fair
And one day you'll realize
There was so much more there
Than the bad things
The things you thought unkind
Someday you'll find out
That life is really quite nice

Do you remember
When we aimed to happy and pleased
Remember the days when being normal was being happy?
Now that I am in this horrid years
Between the age of 12 and 20
I am stuck with feeling unhappy
Amidst so many others
With less than maintained roads ahead
Remember the days when we didn't wish for death?
Remember when life was easier
Instead of shrouded with hate
Just looking at another person
And waiting for the feeling to fade
Remember the days when we didn't care?
When we didn't care about our clothes
And what made us look fat
Our faces or who we make laugh?
Remember the days when I was loved
And not just seen as a miserable *****?
Remember the days when I had you
To soothe my burning hateful itch
Remember when we didn't have to fear adults?
When we didn't question their intentions
Remember when we were just obnoxious adolescents?
When life was just making your parents annoyed
And butting heads
Remember when life
Was actually fun to live?

Respect is an odd thing
If a person demands respect
They usually mean to respect
Their authority
And treat them like a god
But when they say, "if you respect me, I'll respect you"
And they mean that you will treat them like a person
If you treat them like a king/queen
And everything is just jolly good
Because you respect them as an authority
And they treat you (almost)
As if you were a human being I mean,
It's just not fair
What some people call "respect"

Respect existence
Or expect resistance

Why shouldn't we stand up?
We're people just like you!

Some days I want to cry for all the women and PEOPLE who were violated
And I want to scream at all the people who didn't stand up for them

Respect me as a person
And I'll treat you like a friend

Don't expect respect
If you don't treat me the same

All are equally
Equal to each other

Skin color doesn't determine who you are
YOU determine which you are

Act like a resectable human
Not like an authority who has "every rite"

Abortion isn't for everyone
It's like children

"He was laughing at me
While I got the husband stitch
When the doctor said 'I'll stitch her up nice and tight for YOU' "

I'm done doing things for people
Who do nothing for me

Looters break down the doors
Of I shop owners
And expect that this will help
I am too tired to say
That this is unnecessary
This is not a fiction book
And we can't destroy the country
That we are trying to fix
This all needs to be organized
And systematic
Because that is how we get the people
Who really are the bad guys
We dig deep and find who they are
Then we find out how to take them down

Why do we let rough love
Into our lives
Just laugh when it's a person we know
A person who we love

Why do we see people with bruises
And just walk by
Not think about them
For the rest of our loving day?

When your sister wears big sunglasses
And your brother wears long sleeves
When your mother starts smoking
To dull the pain
Why do we walk away?
Why do we shut them out
Because the abusers
Are "good people"
And the abused "must have done something wrong"

So tell me,
Why the hell do we accept
"Rough love?"

There are so many rules for poems
A sonnet must be 14 lines
With iambic pentameter
If you write Shakespearean
And I forget how to write Petrarchan
Buy all I know is the rules

Then there are haikus
Made to be simple and short
But I can never get the right syllable count
So what am I to do?

Then there is the exphrastic poems
Which I don't know how to describe
Other than they describe art
And I simply cannot

There are so many rules to the write
I don't know what is right anymore

Her eyes are a green ocean that you could float in all day
Her fur a crimson that will wash you away
My smile grows when I look at her face
And I find myself when I pet her softly

A beauty everyday of the week
My Sasha is truly unique
Her mellow attitude and gentle breath
With put me to sleep, a gentle caress
Sasha is the most beautiful one
Sasha is Rylie's dog

'I'm so tired.'
He smiles at my words
'Can I lie down to sleep?'
I ask as I lie on his bed of needles
My small whimper
Makes his grin grow wider
My eyelids are drooping
I don't even care that he's drugged me
He decides to bind me
And take away pieces of my brain
He replaces them with new memories
Of him laughing
While I scream in pain
So much pleasure has come
From me pushing away the day
That came before
I am being lashed
Hurt from the inside out
The flogging took place
When he was the one I wanted
The sadist watches me
Cry for mercy
But the sadist is me
And I don't know how it got this way.

Sadly I am unable to say
That I never felt this way before
Scared, alone, isolated
But all of the feelings have become a part of me
Like how roots are apart of the tree
That gave birth to a thought process
Bigger than anything we could have ever known
Sadly for some of us, this thinking is hell
But if I were given a choice
To be able to think, to breath,
To hear, and to see
And never to ever think
I would rather be blind
Because then I could see the world
Through unclouded eyes

dark forest and a couple high teens
the world is spinning around us
as we realize we left ours
glitter and stars and constant laughter
let the music that hits just right
play all around us
like i submerged in the liquid of this feeling
let's hold hands
and cry tears of silver
as saturn decides to play the moon
in our epic play of worlds
will you come with me?
join me in darkness darling
let us be children again
let's believe in magic again