The reason why I love you
Must be because I hate myself.
I know, this time and place doesnt help.
But baby this is worse
than any pain I've ever felt

You're killing me slowly  
day by day
I bleed
and my wounds remain unknit,
to spill my guts to the floor to
leave me open
stranded

He watches from aside,
As I kiss his picture
and take my own life
I wonder if he'd even cry
If he had watched me die

empty

nothingness

numbness

I have

succumb to

what I've learned

from early on.

Numb yourself

when the hurt

is too strong.

Numb yourself

when you

feel like

you can no

longer go on.

Numb yourself

so you can

pretend you're

strong.

Numb yourself

so you can

last, just another day

Numb yourself

so you don't

have to die

today.

history repeats itself, my friend,
a lesson I've learned time and time again
that mistakes we make will always come back to haunt us

and things we've left unsaid will always scream out
to taunt us.

by and by the wind she tries to sway my fragile
addled mind. and the trees will follow suit for she
(the wind) is one to be reckoned with.

seasons may change,
winter to spring
as the snow melts, 'twill prompt the birds to sing.

and right on time, the warm southern breeze,
carrying a scent of chamomile and

petrichor through the city
so serene.

and how things have changed,
how different
this next year will be.

I'll run through the forest through fields and sunshine
to the lake so cold, and rush in
to escape time.

the inevitable following, silent ghost
the one true thing that scares me the most

is that this is all in the past,
all a dream
all memories
just waiting to be made.

*history repeats itself,
if not now
one day.

Differing perceptions, we divide.
We stumble through the numerous next rhetorical back-hands;
with magnetizing animosity, once again we collide.

Flame on flame, the heat of your tone burns me
because you're so unfortunately locked dead inside
and in I, you've discovered a key.

Toes occasionally submerged between the small bubbles, reflecting off the moon above the sand.
I walk the end of the map, where the ocean pours off to oblivion, your heart clasped within my hand.

I paddle out into the rapids, my last woven strengths carry me
tirelessly overdue, with courage & trial
I return the dead-mans chest to the sea.

You're a beautiful mess

Struggling with yourself

My dear,

Don't fret.

For we are all,

In one way

A wreck.

Pin me down
Hand on my jaw
Force me to behave

Using your skill
Strength, and passion
To tame this tiger out of her cage

I can't think of the correct words to describe
Exactly what you are to me
I can't begin to explain

The surprise

That I fell so smoothly into your
Honey stare

I pulled myself out of the cool blue water
In pursuit of your amber gaze

I'm so low
I wish I could say it's unfamiliar
but this place is like my old home;

here I reside and within it
a part of me dies,
every single second I spend
trapped here alive.

Everyone is thinking forward
and here I am trapped in my head
sleep, the sparse hours I receive
are the closest thing to comfort I get.

I wish I could just stay in bed.

I don't wanna die, not yet
no, not yet.
I just want to live a day where my bones don't feel like lead.

And my muscles don't feel like they'll contract
so suddenly,


and **** me on their own accord.

Or that my organs won't turn black
and start oozing from my every pore.
So when you ask me what's going on
I'll say, I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm bored.

But in reality, I'm hurting
every part of me is sore.

Please don't worry,
and please don't stress.
I hate to see you cry.
Don't stay for me,
you'll be stuck here forever
I'm just waiting to die.

cast out to sea,
caught on a rock
with waves crashing around me.
we used to sail,
we used to rise
we used to float on waters, endless
ebb and flow with the tide.
but as the storm approaches,
my thoughts grow weary
the compass points in all directions
we both jump ship in fear of steering.
I'm stranded, wet and cold
in a storm of sadness, confusion, anger
it has come the time, for us to decide
are we a lifeboat or an anchor?

It's funny to think
That despite how I feel
I hold my heart to a wall
And give you hostility

willow tree, on a lean
branches surround me gracefully
I go to touch your silky leaves,
but the wind takes them away from me.

where do the dogs go when
they chase the silver moon?
they hunt the night, stars in sight
that come and go too soon.

I wish to lie in a bed of grass,
surrounded by the night sky and city.
though not the jungle I prefer
the skyscraper lights look so pretty.

take my breath away, natural humming high
but not quite, as magnificent
next to the multitude of constellations
reflected in your eyes.

I can't describe my dislike
I loath you
I despise you
I wish all but unhappiness upon you
I hope you realize all you've done and wallow in self pity
Or have someone prove you wrong
I know how much you hate that
I hope someone beats the absolute **** out of you
To show that your not the strongest in the world
Or you OD on all those drugs you take so you realize your not invincible
I'm repelled
Disgusted
Appalled
So much by your presence
That I nothing you.

It's quite obvious, don't you see?

picture Mother Nature, doomed to freeze
                periodically throughout the eternities.
Icicles form over each one of her
                 delicate joints,                                                        
n­umb her bones
                 to negative degrees,                                                         ­ 
she is not spared
                 by which she cannot control                                                     
lock­ed within this seasonal icebox,                                                          ­               
                not bearing a single key.
                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
Envision your
          fresh-lit cigarette                                                        ­            
whatever brand it may be
it gives your head
        a little lift,
exhale,
        *** appeal
and that filter
        kissing your lips
is a feeling unlike many.

So as you stand
         outside in the cold,                                                            ­    
smoke trailing from
         where you stand                                                            ­      
remember the wind
           only wishes to feel                                                           
a­s you do now,   

                                                        ­                                   
lit cigarette in hand.

My eyes wander over
               The stubble that so ever
     Gradually
                            Shadows your face
When I know
                             You've been having a bad time

No I'm certain

                                  That you'd never really tell me
What

            Goes on in your head.


But oh!
Do
     I
       Ever
               Long

                            For
                                   Your
                                            Soul-filled

                                                               ­  Voice

To whisper my name

For your
Muscled
               Arms,
                          Tanned
                                         Torso
                                                    &
                                                         Chiselled
                                                                ­        Shoulders
To surround me in intimacy

But most of all,

                                        I
                                    Crave
                      ­                The
                                   Feeling
                                       Of
                                   Passion

                                    When
                                       We
                                   ******
                                        In
               ­                       Sync

                                    ­  And
                                       You
                                     Reveal
                                    Yourself
                   ­                      To
                                         Me
                                           .

*******
**** everybody
**** that
**** this
*******.
*******.
*******,
and you
and you.

*******

Inject me straight
Fine I'm addicted
Just let me have a taste

Burning white powder
Calling my name
At every single party
Behind every football game

You were my crutch for so long
My support when I was down
You made me feel ecstatic
Yet held me close to the ground

Your power over me
Is something that laughs and sneers in my face
And I'll dip in & out
Of your igneous taste

The beautiful blue sky, white morning light
Flood my bedroom
Make it go away
Too painful to sleep
And it's too bright to shine on someone so sombrely
Will I ever feel normal without it again

Where do bad folks go when they die?

They don't go to heaven where the angels fly

Go to a lake of fire and fry.

Sun kisses horizons break
they dance across my face and wake me,
streaming through my window panes.
The sky outside is heavy blue, the wind ever boisterous. Between the garden of sound and clock radio, my head is full of voices.
today is a winding road, that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go
I rake my hand through my hair and roll out of bed, the song on the radio clears the noise in my head reminds me of a simpler time, of something you said,  
today in the blink of an eye I'm holding onto something and I do not know why, I try
I tried to read between the lines, I tried to look it your eyes, I want a simple explanation for what I'm feeling inside
gotta find a way out, maybe there's a way out
"Your voice was the sound track of my summer"
They ring loudly through my eardrums, the rest of the world at a distant hum. Memories and stories flood instantly, a flash storm in the middle of a sunny morning.
do you know you're unlike any other? You'll always be my thunder
And suddenly I'm lost, in the past in the moment of times we never thought would end. We both got too far, and became afraid. We never said goodbye, we simply walked away.
your eyes, are the brightest of all the colours. I don't wanna ever lie another. You'll always be my thunder
so bring on the rain
*bring on the thunder

Sometimes words cannot capture the feelings swimming in your head



so drown little thoughts


   drown

You carry my limp body




                          as the world disintegrates before us



          ashes- like baby butterflies; tumbling off








                  your broken wings

Yet,

                     every morning


                                                       ­           I know




                                                            ­                                          that just after dawns break


                                                         ­                                                                 ­                              
                                 you'd sing to me



&

                      
gift me



 with



                                                             ­                                    unstained



                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 felicity.

It's funny to think
That despite how I feel
I hold my heart to a wall
And give you hostility

everything about you is beautiful
your soul, delicate & musical
introspective
through your eyes & lens

similar stories
from worlds apart
bound by invisible
quivering thread.

tying us as one

we look eye to eye
the light in one another
beside the setting sun.

from city skylines,
forests green
and lakes vast and blue.

the shared experience
of being human
is what binds me
to you.

dim lights and starry nights
house surrounded by the waves
over the bridge then under again
as the night turns into day.

your finger tips against my skin
a stirring buzz of passion within
a gentle kiss and soft gaze
lips tremble and eyes a haze.

sincerely yours,
my body and soul.
our actions speak volumes
brave and bold.

our words speak of centuries
and lost stories untold.
how is your body so young
but your soul so old?

and I relish in every part of it
every time your lips move
how they caress each syllable
each careful vowel you choose.

how those lips caress my skin
gentle then needing
hard and fast, and between breaths
sensual and teasing.

afterwards you'll get me water,
food, comfort and stability.
I don't even need to ask
you read my mind almost instantly.

so,

I'm falling for you.

And though I'm afraid.

I shan't back down, I will not run away.

If it means I see your smiling face

I'll face my fears everyday.

What is it about you

                       That

Sets my heart on an

                      Edge

Which I am unable to

                     Control.

I live in a world all my own
inside my head
through fantasy, I roam.

One of magic, heroes, and might.
One of darkness, clouds, and endless flight.

I could lay in bed and dream my life away
no wish or want for the reality of the day.

Realism pushes through my blinds at sunrise,
reminding me I need to wake,
and live my dull, mortal life.

I depart from my dreams with trembling breath, goodbye.

Until I return to dance with my thoughts at night.

So typically
I find myself
The cause
Of my own misfortune
Misguidance
And misery

Mama Rose
as her
Baby Blossomed

You always make coffee in the morning
It draws me from my serene slumber
You bring it to me in the mug you gave me
For Christmas last December

Simple joy
I cannot fathom
A world without your loving touch
A dream without your gracious gaze
And a life without your presence