It’s quiet-
For the first time in weeks
My room is boiling-
My breath hyperventilating
But it’s not making me crash
I feel stationary

Everything is a little off-
My mind is wandering,
My heart is quaking,
My lungs are contracting

I’m waiting for you to come back
I know when you do I’ll be fixed
Whether we text or call-
Or even make a tiktok ai image
When you’re here I don’t mind the heat
I don’t even feel the pain
All I feel is you

All i want is love that lasts
is that too much to ask?

is it something wrong with me?

Stay

This isn’t an attack-
It’s just how I feel.
It’s why I had five days you weren’t on my mind.
I blamed myself for my obsession, claiming it hurt like hell.
In truth-
getting rid of that, even if I haven’t but think I have, made it easier.
I know one thing-
obsessing over what can never be will only lead to eternal suffering.
If I can’t talk to you, I’m not.
I just don’t like my name tarnished for other people’s problems
My heart ripped out and being humiliated for it
I don’t like it.
That’s why I’m still at the beach, watching the waves, encouraging my loneliness.