She who did not come, wasn't she determined
nonetheless to organize and decorate my heart?
If we had to exist to become the one we love,
what would the heart have to create?

Lovely joy left blank, perhaps you are
the center of all my labors and my loves.
If I've wept for you so much, it's because
I preferred you among so many outlined joys.

Live for the moment
Each day to disown this
Existence is merely
A meaningless omen
And death is a heartbeat away
Win or lose
Inescapable, so don’t allow it
To choose
Your decisions, discussions
And reasons to care
For some better world waiting
To save you out there
It is yours, it is mine
It is all of us time
And with or without us
The sun will still shine
So please pardon me young king
You’re blocking the glow
I have offered my wisdom
And now you must go

I was always told
That love was sparks and flames
Skies full of fireworks
That scream out their name

But love is much better
It’s an beautiful vast ocean
A beach where everything
Moves in slow motion

When you go to this beach
You are scared to get in the water
You are scared of jellyfish stinging
And ***** pinching harder

But once you get in
You never want to leave
You’re pulled in by the current
And there is a pure kind of peace

A peace that is joined
By a large crashing wave
It is chaos joining the peace
And they become one in the same

In love you find yourself drowning
And begging for air
But even as you suffocate
You want to stay there

You can’t give up this new feeling
It’s love that swallows you whole
It lures you with chaotic peace
Drowns you and takes your soul

Love is not fire works
It’s not sparks and it’s not flames
Love is not that simple
The ocean is not that tame

Amidst the smoke and light and laughter
Along the smiles and cheers thereafter

A sound is bled, wrung free from strings
It bounds and treads and wholly sings
Inside each song, a secret’s moved
Not right nor wrong or frequent proved
The message dances from bow to ear;
A coded trance of love and fear
From left to right the story rings
Of death and light the Cello brings
The covert tale engulfs the room
It vibrates truth to those who loom
The Cello knows for why it’s played
Its secret lost, both gone and stayed

In the smoke and light and laughter
Music lies and cries thereafter

Why are we confident
In the sea of people
But drown
In the drops of intimacy

i've never thought of myself as a poet
maybe it's because i don't view my forced out words
on the same level of light, rhythm, and desperation
that i have grown to view poetry with
these words do not rhyme
they are not eloquent, they are not loving
they are not warm with happiness
nor sick with depression
they are empty husks and they resemble their author
they speak of things they have not experienced
they long for things they will never attain
they flounder through the darkness with no guide
for these words are lost
in the blank expanse of my mind
i've never thought of myself as a poet
because i can never get the words just right
to bare my soul in front of the world
and say "this is mine."