I don't want flowers or jewelry
I don't want to remember you through material objects that will wilt or get lost
I don't want temporary.
I crave something meaningful
Something permanent

So
Show me your deepest fears
Bear to me your soul
Complete with every
Crack
fracture
And microscopic imperfection
Tell me about
Your weirdest obsessions
Your favorite stories
Explain  your scars
Both visceral
And visual
Tell me everything
wishes and dreams
Anxieties
qualities about yourself
that make you wonder
if you could ever be loved.
the quirks that you fear others will deem bothersome.

And I swear to you, with every pure intention in my heart.

There's no possible way I won't think it's beautiful.

Chill out
Take your meds
Don't worry
Just be normal
Stop stressing out
Talk to someone
You're not okay
You need help
Stop crying
Wake up you're an adult now
Why don't you want help
I want to help you.
Dear people who keep telling me this I honestly am so tired right now. I am trying to please too many people.
But I guess that's all I live for anymore
I live for other people.
So nevermind keep talking
Keep going
Cause I need it.

gardener
I am not ready
don't pluck me

You saw me naked.
Not without clothes, but without my wall.
The 10 foot, steel reinforced, wall around my heart.
You broke in, brick by brick.
And I let you, I let you see me vulnerable.
Forgetting what others had done to me when they saw me the same.
I wish I could say you were different.
But, you saw me naked.
And you laughed, pointed out my insecurities, and broke me so much that I rebuilt my wall.
I rebuilt it higher and stronger than before.
Protecting my heart from so called love.
You also saw me without clothes.
Burned your touch into my skin.
Whispered sweet nothings into my ear, and that's just what they meant.
Nothing.
I can't look at my body without thinking about you.
Because, you saw me naked.
Defenseless and with open arms.
I shouldn't have trusted you.
But I did anyway.
I thought that since you had a wall to we would be amazing together.
But.
I never saw you naked.