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memory
and the city lights fading behind me
the wheels turning in the night
the tears called upon to save you have decayed
faded into the cake of makeup
stretched on your parody smile
put a candle on that babe and celebrate another year

twenty miles outa town
stopped my buick
'neith the highway sing
and in the cool desert moon
made love to another woman
just to have another falling star to chase
shes a little cracked but she can smile
yes she can
and that's a ray of pure sunshine to this broken heart
that's a glass of gladness in the chambers of sour

i owe a thousand apologies
but none of them east of the mississippi
so i head to sunny florida
spend all my time in the rain
writing letters home to the mountains of the moon
serenity is just another girl after all
isnt that what she would say
a fun pile of hot packed in skintight jeans
but just a girl

tried to find a narrow path in the thorns
attempted to get round the snags
but milkmaids and **** kings
are all too sure that id fail someday
and they wait with bated breath for me to be
on my knees
but im making a new lifetime outa the dust
im carving a new hope outa the curses laid on me
ill make it because im resolved like iron ink
but im rusting like rainwater
and there is nobody i can hope not to offend

i had thought to find your hand to hold
and standing here in the rain
wish itd work its way out
im so weary of the futile chase
but you left on a train headed north to go find my enemies
to deal out some measure of justice

im resolved like iron ink
rusting in the american sun
nobody's treasure
born to wait
come home someday
 Aug 2013 Bamboo Bean
Redshift
don't bother me
i am looking for Teej
in the pile of bitter dandelions i imprisoned
that she was so
fond of  
maybe she
is hiding there
she loved that line. rest in peace.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtjeSNOZBx0
 Aug 2013 Bamboo Bean
Redshift
i am thoroughly convinced
that the people who hurt the most
are the ones the devil is the most scared of.
and that though lights are bright
they are useless without
the contrasting dark...
Teej,
the world will miss your
influence
your poetry healed desert-hearts
i know it did mine.
you were like
a piece of africa-smile.
i don't have a lot to say. only because i can't translate it out. i love you, Teej. i should have known when i hadn't heard from you in a while that something was wrong. i regret so much not checking up on you.
i hope you
have a safe
night of nice
dreams after
busting your
headlights
bringing down
all the streetlights
for mocking the stars

some of us stay
in the dark for the company
of our own kind please turn
out your porchlights

dim your gadget screen
backlights and unplug
all your nightlights
don't you dare
insult the moon
if you have no one to say goodnight to, goodnight.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.

you prepared me for this
and i can't decide whether
it's ok for me to feel as relieved
as I do when I am not crying

i've never felt so much instant pain
and relief all at once
so confusing-- my ****** lady
who walks like a trucker

piebald nightcaps
tree terrace
800+ hours
miles upon miles of cigarettes

dengue.
my heart.
my heart.
you brought me to Christ

you showed that God is love
you've left such a huge rainbow
in the earth's clay
i miss you
i want you

but I don't need you now
you know that
we know that
my heart.

you dreamt me and robbie
will one day meet
we will
and it won't be incredibly soon

--but it doesnt matter.

promise brothers
promise sister
Ngariy.
please hug Tithinfal for me

i'm glad you are with him now
im trying to go to Yap on Tuesday
for a week to see Ray and Celine
and the kids

to see Tingin
our spots the island wide
the tunnel behind peace corps
i inadequatley described to you

but that you can now see
and feel
with ****** yapese local music
blaring in the background

i'll be fine
you know I will
with heart on fire
I reach out to you tonight

all nights.

i'll find Zeyto
i'll hug him
those eyes

i'll sit in Gilin's kitchen and chainsmoke
i'll make you proud
i'll spread your word
i'll spread your message

i'll spread your love
i'll make it to Africa
and ill see you again
before we both know it

i love you.
and i'm good
ill learn to dance with a limp

rug baadagem ni odig, tinmad
gu baadagem.

forever
forever
forever

go rest
i love you.
i love you.
i love you.

you prepared me for this
and i can't decide whether
it's ok for me to feel as relieved
as I do when I am not crying

i've never felt so much instant pain
and relief all at once
so confusing-- my ****** lady
who walks like a trucker

piebald nightcaps
tree terrace
800+ hours
miles upon miles of cigarettes

dengue.
my heart.
my heart.
you brought me to Christ

you showed that God is love
you've left such a huge rainbow
in the earth's clay
i miss you
i want you

but I don't need you now
you know that
we know that
my heart.

you dreamt me and robbie
will one day meet
we will
and it won't be incredibly soon

--but it doesnt matter.

promise brothers
promise sister
Ngariy.
please hug Tithinfal for me

i'm glad you are with him now
im trying to go to Yap on Tuesday
for a week to see Ray and Celine
and the kids

to see Tingin
our spots the island wide
the tunnel behind peace corps
i inadequatley described to you

but that you can now see
and feel
with ****** yapese local music
blaring in the background

i'll be fine
you know I will
with heart on fire
I reach out to you tonight

all nights.

i'll find Zeyto
i'll hug him
those eyes

i'll sit in Gilin's kitchen and chainsmoke
i'll make you proud
i'll spread your word
i'll spread your message

i'll spread your love
i'll make it to Africa
and ill see you again
before we both know it

i love you.
and i'm good
ill learn to dance with a limp

rug baadagem ni odig, tinmad
gu baadagem.

forever
forever
forever

go rest
 Aug 2013 Bamboo Bean
Chuck
We will lament your passing
Ride on my friend
We will cherish your memory
Ride on my friend
We will honor your wishes
Ride on my friend
We will cry because you lived free
Ride on my friend
Lost a friend and colleague today. He was killed in a motorcycle crash, while not wearing a helmet! RIP Bob! If he was wearing a helmet, who knows.....
 Aug 2013 Bamboo Bean
Chuck
Blue sky church
Noisy chapel
No one at rest
Questions
Confusion
Solitude is noisy
When the unthinkable
Happens
Sweating out the grief
Did not happen
In this chapel
Of blue skies
No peace in church
Today
Only noise
 Aug 2013 Bamboo Bean
Redshift
if i have ever learned anything
"don't look back"
is the one
that would serve me best
if i let it.

but things aren't easy like that
humans can't just let the burning city rest
they have to turn around,
check
that it's
leaving
see if
anyone's still breathing.

the poor ******* that second guess
are the ones who don't get blessed
you've failed the easiest test,
red
now you're in trouble
again
i know not to go back and read things i wrote when mom first left. it makes me want to cut up my arms.
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