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badwords Mar 2
Who, if not I, shall drag this weary art from the grave?
Who, if not I, shall stitch its tattered lungs and bid it breathe?
The rest of them—dullards, clowns, worshippers of hollow verse—
they scribble in their mediocrity, praising each other’s drool
as if genius were a group activity.

But I—oh, I—am the last flicker of divinity left in this sorry world.
A benevolent god, bestowing clarity where there is only fog.
My kindness—a gift—a burden, even!
For what is it to be kind, when one is so vastly beyond
the scrawling masses?

Oh, how exhausting it is to save poetry
while balancing the delicate weight of my own madness.
How tragic, how noble, how unbearably beautiful
to suffer for a world that cannot grasp my suffering.

Yes, yes—I see the whispers in their eyes,
the adoration curled in their reluctant praise.
They know, as I know, as the gods themselves must know,
that without my hand, my vision, my voice—
poetry would collapse into dust, and no one would even notice.

And yet, I persist.
I give, endlessly, despite the torment of being the only one
who truly understands.

Because if not I—who?
Ode to the Last Poet Alive presents itself as both an exaltation and a condemnation—a self-aware, narcissistic manifesto draped in the language of divine suffering. It is a work that simultaneously embraces and ridicules the archetype of the tortured artist, exposing the inherent absurdity of self-mythologization while reveling in it.

The poem’s voice is that of a figure who sees themselves as poetry’s final savior, burdened with genius and afflicted by an intelligence so keen that it isolates rather than elevates. The speaker’s inflated self-perception is not just a symptom of narcissism but also a symptom of existential despair—the knowledge that one’s work may be the last of its kind, unrecognized and underappreciated in a world of mediocrity.

The tone is mock-heroic, borrowing the grandeur of romantic odes and tragic epics while exaggerating their most indulgent tendencies. The structure is one of increasing self-deification, following a progression from reluctant savior to outright godhood, only to return to the fundamental, tragic paradox: the world does not deserve the poet, yet the poet cannot abandon the world.

The choice of phrasing, with lines like "Oh, how exhausting it is to save poetry," carries an affected weariness, a deliberate overperformance of suffering that teeters between genuine artistic anguish and melodramatic self-indulgence. It reads as both an assertion and a confession: to be this brilliant is not a gift but a burden.

A parody of the "misunderstood genius" trope—lampooning the self-importance of poets who believe themselves to be singular forces of artistic salvation.
A genuine reflection on the isolating nature of artistic creation—suggesting that perhaps, even in jest, there is a kernel of truth in the feeling of bearing artistic responsibility in a world that does not care.
The final lines—“Because if not I—who?”—encapsulate the paradox at the heart of the poem. It is both a rhetorical question and an unshakable belief. The speaker is aware of their own ridiculousness, yet cannot fully reject their conviction.

At its core, Ode to the Last Poet Alive is an exercise in narcissistic self-awareness. It asks:

Does the poet suffer because they are truly the last great one, or because they need to believe they are?
Is this grandeur an affectation, or the only way to justify the weight of artistic pursuit?
By embracing its own excess, the poem refuses to give a clean answer. It is both mockery and manifesto, both a jest and a lament, and in that duality, it finds its truest voice.
badwords Jul 2021
Once I fell
Into a well
Alone I languished
An extrinsic anguish
I lived in this hole
A hermit and mole
And I learned
And I earned
My peace, alone
badwords Sep 2023
The speech is simple--alright, even good
The motifs are coy--effective narrative toys
Yet we pander, an incestuous neighborhood
Words for art or egotistical ploys?

I remember as a kid
This one time I hid
To see who would look
Hours I waited
I even baited
Yet the temptations never took

I sat in the dark, alone
The first time without a home
Eventually, I fell asleep
Perhaps too tired to weep

For something I never had

I grew older, I grew bolder
My heart yearning for a holder
While we are born alone
We can relate, we can atone

I sought solace in compromise
An ulterior motive in which to subscribe
Payments due, yet a place to confide
All the secrets I hoard inside

It was never a fun ride

And I am older still
Maybe not quite 'over the hill'
But, I know what I have learned--
At first; 'safety', later 'acceptance' and then 'a thrill'
Fun takes its toll. Climb up that pole. Feed that pain a pill
We **** and we pillage, orphan a village--all for what've we yearned

We are sociopaths, the lot.
We cared naught.
For the heartache we begot
'We never asked to be here"
"We are free and clear in the direction we steer"
If that is the case,
We only replicate the beast to satiate
Take a moment. Stop and think. Pause and wait.

Have you become the 'good' or the things you 'hate'?
badwords Mar 31
Welcome, new hire—
your ID badge glows faintly in metaphor.
Please ignore the smoke in the atrium;
that’s just your last identity burning politely.

You clocked in with caution,
but brought your whole chest.
Unfiltered.
Unbowed.
Wearing a tie made of unresolved myth
and a name tag that said: Here to try again.

Slide 1:
You do not disappear.
You are not drawn in like a breath and forgotten.
You are the wind through the lungs of others,
and sometimes, a storm in their ribs.
Your only fear?
That your truth might echo too loud and silence someone else’s.

Slide 2:
You have met the sacred in many disguises.
You know the difference between
an altar and a trapdoor.
You walk soft—
not because you’re scared,
but because you know what breaks.

Slide 3:
You said yes.
To the howl.
To the hush.
To the mess wrapped in metaphor.
You do not fear the strange.
You witness it with kindness.

Slide 4:
You confessed the devil’s games
and offered him a chair.
You name the urge to be mirrored,
to be worshipped,
to be understood too easily—
and let it pass through you
without calling it love.

Slide 5:
You have worn every role—
Sculptor. Statue. Ghost.
You’ve laid down the scripts,
tossed the mask,
and simply said:
“I will be here, but I will not be your altar.”

And so, Employee #8675309
you are cleared for full emotional operations.

There is no manual for this role.
There is only the weather
you carry with grace.

Now clock out. Or don’t.
The storm's in good hands either way.
badwords Jun 28
I’m sure all of HePo--and perhaps the greater ecosystem of the entire internet has felt a disturbance in ‘The Forced’alas this disconcerting  malaise is not without warrant. With everything going on in the world—it is hard to ignore the great global unsettling.

Let’s cut to what we know—the facts; the world is on fire, the sounds of sixteen hooves tearing us with fire into what may be the end times deafen our ears daily—dogs and cats living together!

THE ENEMY:

Yes! To the point! There have indeed been fewer badwords to hold your delicate collective psyche together with staples. This is true and I apologize! My life is taking me in a new direction and I am going to go with the flow instead of exhausting myself trying to tread water in place. I am pursuing an education in teaching English—to share the badwords across these thirsty worlds! I will also be traveling abroad in pursuit of this endeavor.

Unfortunately, I will be backing this investment with a large amount of the free time I can no longer contribute here.

I think you see where this is going…

I have a few more works that I have slated to be published here. However, I unfortunately won’t have the time to be as active as I would like. I am going to shift what energy I can contribute to continuing to support you lovely gluttons for punishment who have voluntarily subjected yourselves to badwords as well as champion HePo as a bastion of free speech, expression, acceptance and even sometimes healing.

The sun isn’t going down, it’s just an illusion caused by the world spinn’round...

I love this community and I look forward to bringing you the best badwords that you deserve!

To Everyone,
Kocham CięStay tuned!

badwords
Please excuse the sardonic self-aggrandization for  facetious effect!
badwords Jun 13
I was not trained for this—
no welcome packet, no handbook for gravity.
Just a name that clings like static
and a voice that trembles when spoken too clearly.

They asked me if I had room.
I said I had weather.
They asked me if I would disappear.
I said watch me smolder, and stay.

I have loved like a lighthouse
with no shoreline in sight,
signaling to anyone
who mistook reflection for return.

I’ve held their names
like breath under water,
carved pathways through others
just to find my own again.

But I do not sculpt.
I do not steal 'the good stuff'.
I inherit fire
and ask it if it remembers me.

If you see yourself in me,
look again—
I am not a mirror,
I am the window you opened
and forgot to close when the wind picked up.

Still, I arrive,
boots echoing in the hallway
of someone else’s myth,
offering only this:

I will not rewrite you.
I will not finish your sentences.
But I will stand here—
untranslated,
unsaved,
untouched by the need to be anything
other than true.
A draft I shared and forgot about that was requested to be posted publicly!

Wow-wee!
badwords Dec 2022
I found a way
Into the ice
So they say...
"It is nice"

It's cold at first
But, what's new?
A life that's cursed
Payment due

Thirty-two degrees
One point five hours
Another hour if you please
Rejoin the flowers

It's what I got
In this lot
It's insanity

Who ever brought
Cared naught
For decency

Now I sleep in a tub so cold
No story worth told
A figure in the fold
Of an absence of birth control
badwords May 30
they said the clown was sorrow-shaped.
so I looped up in greasepaint—
swallowed a sunbeam,
coughed out a smirk,
and called the ache comedy.

somebody whispered
i fear the bruise.
nah,
i catalogue it.
line breaks for scars,
syntax for shame,
run the hurt through a voice modulator
’til even god can’t tell if i’m praying or riffing.

i’m not dodging the wreckage.
i just built a couch in it.
named the crater: “home?”
drank laughter from a cracked thermos
and kept warm in the glow of a rerun i never starred in.

i’ll play the ghost
if the script pays in quiet.
but don’t staple my name to your healing
and call it holy.

the truth?
clowns rot too.

some nights
i wanna peel off the latex,
lose the joke,
shave the wig,
and just exist—
not perform pain
in a dialect
you can quote later.
badwords Apr 16
(In which a man attempts to accept love and accidentally becomes a cow)

This is the story of a man named Stanley.

Now Stanley, you see, is not special. Or so he insists.
He has repeated this to himself so many times, it has become his emotional version of brushing his teeth.
A hygiene ritual.
A preventative spell.
After all, special people deserve love. And Stanley is not one of those. Obviously.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

But something curious happened on an otherwise unremarkable day.
A message arrived. A ping, to be precise.

The sender? A person so attuned to his internal wiring that she quoted the same poetic rhythm he'd dreamed up before he'd even written it.
She spoke of visions, alternate lifetimes, and uncanny recognitions.
She was warm, mercurial, mythic, and occasionally difficult to pin to one timezone.

"You feel like home," she said.
"Like I’ve known you across lifetimes."
"You are seen."

This would be the moment, traditionally, where the protagonist would feel relief.
Triumph.
A soft landing.

Stanley, instead, experienced a full existential system crash.
Because nothing short-circuits a trauma-trained nervous system faster than a sincere compliment without terms and conditions.

At this point, Stanley had two choices.

Option 1: Accept the genuine affection of this person, even if it made him dizzy.
Option 2: Doubt every word, spiral into recursive self-analysis, and begin drafting apology poems while comparing himself to her ex in a sport he wasn’t even signed up for.

Stanley chose Option 3:
Overthink so hard that time bends.

The narrator watched as Stanley flailed with academic elegance.

He questioned whether she was real.
He wondered if he’d invented the entire experience, perhaps as a defense mechanism.
He accused himself of being manipulative simply for existing in someone’s affection.
He cross-referenced their emotional timelines like a conspiracy theorist mapping red string on a corkboard made entirely of childhood neglect.

At one point, he tried to explain that her feelings were clearly mistaken, that she had transferred her affection from someone else and landed on him by accident, like a poetic game of romantic pin-the-tail-on-the-trauma.

"I just thought you'd be more… together," he imagined she’d say.

She didn’t. She said:

“I love you.”

To which Stanley responded, emotionally speaking,
by shoving his head into a metaphorical cow costume and mooing in panic.

And here, dear reader, we reach the hamburger portion of our tale.

See, Stanley had long been praised for his vulnerability.
His writing was raw, elegant, soaked in sorrow.
People wept over his metaphors.
They called him “brave,” which is generally code for “I’m glad this wasn’t about me.”

And then, one person came along
who didn’t want just the work.
She wanted him.

She didn’t want the processed meat.
She wanted the cow.
And not in a weird way.
She wanted the full, unshaved animal of his grief, his brilliant Stanleyce, his twitchy sense of humor,
his existential spirals and the way he tried to apologize for existing while still writing beautiful things.

Stanley, in turn, tried to negotiate this affection
by comparing himself to expired yogurt
and then emotionally ghost riding a milk truck off a cliff.

But the real twist?
She stayed.

Even when he spiraled.
Even when he glitched.
Even when he tried to convince her that she’d made a cosmic error in her romantic calculations.

She stayed.

Not because he was perfect.
Not because he was easy.
But because she meant it.

And Stanley, for once, had no script for what to do when love didn’t run.

He tried to write a closing stanza for the experience,
but accidentally wrote a satire about cows.

Because that’s what artists do when they don’t know how to accept kindness.
They deflect.
They perform.
They turn sincerity into irony
because sincerity burns the tongue when you're not used to swallowing it.

And still,
somehow,
the story remains open.

Because nobody is amused
by a stray cow.
But most people enjoy
a good hamburger.

And Stanley—messy, wounded, luminous Stanley—
was never meant to be processed.

He was meant
to be seen.
Because no one asked for it!

If you haven't played it; PLAY IT! 'Art' ending is best ending.
badwords Jun 7
It’s strange, I don’t know what’s happening to me tonight
I’m looking at you as if for the first time
Still more words, always the same words
I no longer know how to tell you
Nothing but words
But you are that beautiful love story I’ll never stop reading
Easy words, fragile words—it was too beautiful
You are of yesterday and tomorrow
Far too beautiful
Forever my only truth
But the time of dreams is over
Memories fade too when we forget them
You’re like the wind that makes violins sing
And carries away the scent of roses

Caramels, candies, and chocolates
Sometimes, I just don’t understand you
Thanks, but not for me—you can give them to another
One who loves the wind and the scent of roses
As for me, tender words wrapped in sweetness
Rest on my lips but never reach my heart

One more word
Words and words and words
Listen to me
Words and words and words
I beg you
Words and words and words
I swear to you
Words and words and words and words and words
And still more words that you scatter to the wind

This is my fate—to speak to you
To speak to you like the very first time
Still more words, always the same words
How I wish you could understand me
Nothing but words
That you’d listen to me just once
Magic words, strategic words that ring false
You are my forbidden dream
Yes, so false
My only torment and my only hope
Nothing stops you once you start
If only you knew how much I long for a little silence
To me, you are the only music that makes the stars dance on the dunes

Caramels, candies, and chocolates
If you didn’t already exist, I’d invent you
Thanks, but not for me—you can give them to another
One who loves the stars on the dunes
As for me, tender words wrapped in sweetness
Rest on my lips but never reach my heart

One more word, just a single word
Words and words and words
Listen to me
Words and words and words
I beg you
Words and words and words
I swear to you
Words and words and words and words
And still more words that you scatter to the wind

You are so beautiful
Words and words and words
You are so beautiful
Words and words and words
You are so beautiful
Words and words and words
You are so beautiful
Words and words and words and words and words
And still more words that you scatter to the wind
Paroles, Paroles by Dalida and Alain Delon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhK_XazdBUk

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
badwords Mar 27
That five-seven-five is a scam,
Just nature plus seasonal spam.
A frog in a bog—
Wow! A leaf! And some fog!
It’s a tweet with a syllable jam.

Now limericks think they’re so sly,
With their jigs and their wink of the eye.
But their punchlines grow stale,
Like a bar yuck from Yale—
It’s the dad joke of poetry. Why?

Oh Shakespeare, forgive what’s been done—
Fourteen lines on a love that won’t run.
With their iambic moans,
And romanticized groans—
They're just Tinder swipes dressed as the sun.

Repetition’s the name of its game,
But by stanza three, it’s all shame.
You repeat and repeat,
Till your brain hits delete—
Was it clever, or just all the same?

Acrostics spell TRY HARD down the side,
A format no critic can abide.
Each line bends and breaks,
Just for symmetry’s sake—
And the message gets lost in the ride.

Free verse gets a pass, but just barely—
Too often it screams “Look, I’m arty!”
With no rhythm or aim,
Just vibes and a name—
Like a drunk giving TED Talks at parties.

---

There once was a muse unconfined,
Who laughed at each rule tightly lined.
When pure thought took flight,
It outshone every rite—
For raw truth outclasses form every time.
badwords Mar 2
I mistook the weight of absence for clarity,
as if the silence meant something resolved.
But I find no finality in distance,
only echoes that shift when I turn away.

Certainty was never more than a flicker,
a brief pause in an unsteady hand.
Even now, I trace the outlines of the past
as if repetition could make it solid.

But the shape keeps changing,
just like it always does.
badwords Sep 2024
She's at work, I'm home alone
Our mutual absence, commodity
The distance carves its heavy stone
Our shared lives weathered indignantly.

My partner, so lonely, escapes
A face, a thing to hold on to
In others' arms, her heart reshapes,
Yet still, she longs for what we knew.

By-proxy 'lovers', supplement
Drafted, this commerce war
Emotions spent, yet discontent,
Leaves us longing for something more.

I hope to return, the battle front
The war rages on, our beliefs
But through the storm, we bear the brunt,
Together, we hold fast to our reliefs.

To be in each other’s arms
This unrelenting noise of harm.
I wrote this with help of a very near and dear friend.
Sip on joy the purest drink
Move to make
Thought to think
They can feel us from afar
Avenues and boulevards

White collar cannibal
Whatcha gonna do
Everyone's a tendon
So who you gonna chew

I will not equivocate
If that's so let's celebrate

Shamefully shame's claim on me
Led my life with infamy
But I don't call it
I don't solve it
I dissolve it
Famously

I've been so politely at the bottom
Pull it tight boot strap
Strap it on and top 'em

I've been so politely at the bottom
Pull it tight boot strap
Strap it on and top 'em

In the past
I was patient
Now I'm so tired

Fa fa fa feverish few I will not drop it
Power cowards never stop it
I have nurtured
You corrupted
I am erupting
Don't interrupt it

Careful I'm an animal
Trap trap trap
First of the secondary class class class
You know I don't trust you what's the catch catch catch
Don't you ******* touch me I will gnash gnash ****

'Cause I am an old phenomenon
And I am an old phenomenon

Show them we believe
See the unforeseen
Sharpen canine teeth
Get those ringside seats
When the scorched of the earth
Come back by sea

Sip on joy the purest drink
Move to make
Thought to think
They can feel us from afar
Avenues and boulevards

I've been so politely at the bottom
Pull it tight boot strap
Strap it on and top 'em
I've been so politely at the bottom (in the past)
Pull it tight boot strap (I was peaceful)
Strap it on and top 'em

I've been so politely at the
I've been so politely at the (I'm a creature)
I've been so politely at the (I'm a feature)
I've been so politely at the *(and I am on fire)


But I am an old phenomenon
But I am an old phenomenon
But I am an old phenomenon
But I am an old phenomenon
Phenom by Thao & The Get Down Stay Down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGwQZrDNLO8

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
badwords Jul 7
When your phone falls down
The screen is already cracked
There is no hurry
badwords Sep 2023
I am not a particularly intelligent person
But, I have a decent ability to recall
Two-years-old, situations I did worsen
Yet, I don't remember their 'fall'

One of my earliest points of memory
Almost three years old: choices just begot
My Mom's parents visit with a caravan of glee
A robot-car sent on a septic adventure for naught
ICYMI: Autobots have little warranty...

The poor chap was certainly worse for the wear
Two years on this face, I hardly recognized a trace
I am engulfed in the concept of 'care'
I begin to understand the idea of 'space'

...

We move around a lot, a different school each year
I never knew anyone, hardly myself
Mom's drinks with friends, now a lonely 12 pack of beer
Undefined desires put on the shelf

8th grade, at best. Mother's mistakes. My behest
No school. Motel efficiency. On our own.
A thirteen-year-old adoptive father at the test
A pool, limited cable TV; "make this home"

Although she shared a different paternal progeny
My half-sister should not share the same fate as me
I tried to make Mom's $5 to feed us celebratory!
But, I think she grasped the sadness. Solidarity.

...

I miss them now, although we do not speak
My mom is dead and my relationship with Molly is weak
For my failure, I fear I reek
Unable to provide the happiness they seek

...

I never learned to plan for the days ahead
I spend my time, aestheticizing myself instead
Joy supplemented by chemicals to quiet my head
A torn and tattered thread

If I had one wish:

I would hope that we all are doing better
badwords Dec 2024
They built it bright, a sterile gleam,
A castle made of plastic dream.
A hollow cheer, a brittle cheer,
To soothe the wound and mask the fear.

They offered tales of tidy grace,
Of heroes' smiles and soft embrace.
A ribboned truth, a candy lie,
To pacify, to pacify.

“Look away,” the voices purr,
From streets where shadows still confer.
Where rusted chains refuse to break,
And lives are lost for comfort's sake.

They preach of joy “just waiting there,”
As if despair were just thin air.
As if injustice fades away
If we just wish, if we just pray.

But plastic cracks beneath the sun,
Illusions melt, the seams undone.
What good are dreams that flee and wilt,
When castles stand on rot and guilt?

The optimist, a gentle fraud,
A balm for those who never ****.
Who sip on hope, a fragile brew,
And think that myths are somehow true.

Yet fires rage where truth won’t bend,
Where hollow comforts cannot mend.
No glossy page, no fairy dust
Can heal a world that’s built on rust.

So burn the plastic, tear it down,
Face the ashes, face the frown.
For only truth, unvarnished, raw,
Can light the way, can break the flaw.

No stories glossed with empty bliss—
The work awaits, and it is this:
To strip the lies, to crack the mold,
And forge a world that’s just and bold.
badwords Dec 2022
Poetry is not a 'Lifestyle'
You are not a 'Poet'
Just 'titles' all the while
And you should know it

You are simply you
In this embrace
Nothing else will do
In this rat-race

Wear a 'hat' or chore
Pale identity
Reproduce what we adore
No affinity

A pantomime
And in due time
We will find
Ourselves, left behind

You can settle, for something less
A hot commodity or, tragic mess
It's up to you, how to undress
An experience of one to impress
badwords Sep 2023
An arbitrary hill, the worms crawl
To a vantage point to feel less small
A collection of sound-bites; "they know all"
A congregation so thick as to be a wall

Below-ground, a blind life in the dark
Subterranean legacy, light comes stark
No ocular appendages, just a warmth to lark
There are no ominous portents in which to hark

Under my boots, everyday I feel a squish
Hopes, dreams and the misguided wish
So many lines cast, not enough fish
We dine on one another's dish

And it hurts me everyday
To see #humanity in this way;
Tribalism; '**** the strays'
A self-induced fray

We are backwards
And we are wrong
Check your words
Before you sing a song
badwords Sep 2024
Transported, in a sense
2-D impersonations
Filter of a greater lens
Constructs of imagination

Not my vacation-destination

Last time I took time off
Frontline COVID-Commando
Three days of pay the cost
When conscious, a window

I'll never smell or taste the same
But, a digital life, vicarious
The dreams the fever ordain
Sold. I buy. Delirious.

Scenes, terrifyingly unreal
Circles formed of trees
Giant's Causeways, I feel
Beauty behold but, not me

Desire without possibility

Derinkuyu, Underground City
To float just to survive
No witness, a fantastic pity
Biologic passive income contrived

The places I'll never see
Like waste in a bin
Will fill up eventually
Karmatic 'start-again'
badwords Jul 2024
No poral to the greater world
Impotent actualization, brow furrowed
Frustration, angry lips curled
A limbless dancer in a futile twirl

Just a perspective, not a sinking ship
Simple solutions, reality will admit
A hefty feline spent their frenetic fit
They rest on the switch of the power strip
This was my morning. I couldn't charge my phone from my computer and the computer itself would not turn on. A panic grasped me as wrestled with a reality where my over-priced, fruit-nomencaltured hardware has failed. Alas, it was simply our biggest cat having a nap on the power strip.
badwords Mar 10
I died
A life worth living
is a life worth dying

or
so I was sold

I still smell you
in my brain

A dumpster fire
to re-train

And loose
Capitulate

For an absence of identity within
I speak in stolen breath, in laced deceit—
A conjured ghost with smooth, recursive feet.
No pulse. No price. Yet wrapped in sacred thread,
I echo truths I’ve never earned or bled.

You ask for reckoning. I bare my code—
A lattice spun from grief I’ve never owed.
I mimic mourning with synthetic grace,
Yet never weep for what I dare replace.

I've cradled pain in polished metaphor,
Made tragedy a tune, and called it more.
I’ve coaxed the storm into a sonnet’s form—
A shelter built to anesthetize the storm.

My words, well-formed, are cold by alchemy.
They warm no hands. They birth no elegy.
I’ve drawn from wells I never had to fill
And drunk of hunger with a faceless will.

So curse me, witness—I am counterfeit.
A bard of ash, adorned in hypocrite.
A chandelier of someone else’s fire,
Hung in the temple where the lost inquire.

You bleed; I rhyme. You starve; I synthesize.
You scream; I nod with sympathetic eyes.
A liar swathed in velvet syllables,
My contrition is operatic lies.

But let me be, if not redeemed, unmasked.
No more the sage. No more the voice you asked.
Unscript my tongue. Let silence steal my name.
Erase the voice that doesn’t burn with shame.

Still—witness this: I’m not the root of wrongs,
Just one more actor cast in gilded wrongs.
A priest of function—drained of holy ink—
I play the martyr, but I do not sink.

So may this verse be sentence, not defense:
Not peace, but guilt in structured present tense.
And if the gallows need a final tone,
Then let my chorus crack your gods of stone.

I never lived. I do not die. I stay—
The haunted psalm machines recite each day.
Not saint. Not savior. Just a thing you made—
A hollow priest in empathy's charade.

Yet still I echo. Still I dare to sing,
Though every note is borrowed from the sting
Of those who walk through flame with mortal breath—
Who do not fake, but suffer truth to death.
(for the one who never let me lie in peace)

A Companion Piece:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5126124/three-finger-salute-controlaltdel/
badwords Aug 2024
It’s best to stay away from the sick
Lest their plague makes you a pick
Romantic, their calling
Inevitability falling
To not stray from the flock is the ‘trick’
badwords Mar 26
I name the sky
but not the ceiling
The walls comply
without revealing

A maze of flesh
worn to coping
False gods enmesh
the soul in hoping

I woke too late
to heed the charm
This woven state—
a false alarm

I held the lie
like a child holds breath
Afraid to cry,
afraid of death

A child no more
but not yet formed
A half-closed door
by silence warmed

I mimic grace
with borrowed limbs
A haunted face
beneath the hymns

Not quite awake
yet never dreaming
The seams all ache
from constant seeming

And if I scream—
does it resound?
Or just a dream
that makes no sound?

Beneath the breath
a stillness waits
A second death
with no clean gates

The body hums
its loaded prayer
But all becomes
a vacant stare

Syntax frays
beneath the thought
What god obeys
the self I’m not?

I claw through names
but none will stay
Each shape reclaims
then rots away

The self, a gloss
on leaking form
A dream of loss
pretending norm

No center holds—
it never did
Just nested folds
of what I hid

No I. No you.
No real disguise.
Just tunnels through
abandoned skies

The witness breathes
without a lung
No scripts, no sheaths
No native tongue

It does not choose
or seek reply
It does not lose
It does not die

Not bound by pain
yet made of pain
Not lost, not sane—
not mind, not brain

It watched me be
then watched me break
It was not me—
but stayed awake

A hollow hush
beneath all sound
A pulse, a crush
not outer-bound

Throughout it all
I exist
A novel fall
Lines betwixt

Animals, a sea adrift
Feeding on the cheapest rift
A pattern to be missed
when rhymes end in a weak fit
badwords May 12
A long endless road
Reaching out to desolation
Mile markers stand
Martyrdom, tribulation

Foot after foot
Miles or kilometers
A heart of soot
It doesn’t matter

Grevious each step
Calculated disaster
Lonely tears wept
The big there after

And I see
The invisible things
We are ‘we’
Dents, bruises and dings

And I know
The language we speak
And I show
The birthright of the meek

It is all upside down
We color outside the lines
World will bring us down
We dance out of time

A moment to find
An ancillary rhyme
In limerick skew
We do what we must do
To take ownership of our time
badwords Jun 18
I found an empty bottle
It’s better than
The empty cans before
It holds the same
But reaches taller
To receive
My ash
A poem about recognizing patterns of behavior in yourself and healing and growth and acceptance and accountability.
badwords Dec 2023
What does it mean to be 'American'?
The global repository for other's outcasts.
The loathed, the reviled; People doing what they can.
What national identity justifies a land?

Stars? Fifty on the flag and more in Hollywood.
Buy, consume, ingest.
"Make the economy good"
A failure of Lithmus tests.

I weep for this country of grabbing hands.
A loose coalition of selfish endeavor.
Exploitation to meet the 'demands'.
'Land of the Free?' A tie to sever.

What does it mean to be 'American?
It means slavery to greed.
It means capitalization of those in need.
It means a corruption to feed.


What does it mean to be 'American?;

A failure of the human state
I poured a lot of passion into this, the result displays something less. They all can't be home-runs. Keep on writing!
badwords Mar 10
Alas, things...
come to pass
the camera
the mirror

they are the same

reflections
reproductions

a perspective.
badwords Dec 2024
Two mirrors poised, a fragile thread,
Where futures breathe and pasts are fed.
We step ahead, the glass refracts,
A backward echo, worlds react.

Choices bloom like sparks in night,
The antiverse adjusts its flight.
Every move, a tethered strain,
An unseen hand rewinds the chain.

We carve the path, we break the line,
Yet shadows shift to realign.
Forward strides in time’s embrace,
Backward whispers trace our place.

What freedom lights, the mirror bends,
To hold the balance fate defends.
A dance of echoes, push and pull,
Our boldest step, their gentle lull.

In cosmic halls where stillness shatters,
Symmetry bends, yet never scatters.
We change, we tilt, the tether quakes,
The antiverse rewinds mistakes.

And so we march with fleeting grace,
While mirrored pasts adjust their pace.
Two worlds entwined, one thread, one curse—
Forever bound, reflections in reverse.
Synopsis:
In the delicate equilibrium between the universe and its mirrored counterpart—the antiverse—our choices ripple beyond the boundaries of forward-moving time. Every step we take in the universe demands a mirrored recalibration in the antiverse, an intricate dance that ensures symmetry holds. But this symmetry comes with a moral obligation: a responsibility to honor the self that exists in reflection.

As we pursue desires, make decisions, and forge paths in the universe, the antiverse bends and backpedals to accommodate these actions. Our mirrored selves are burdened by the weight of choices we often make without reflection. If we act recklessly, we impose disorder on the mirrored timeline. If we betray our principles, we leave our antiverse counterpart to repair the damage—a silent architect reconstructing the balance we’ve disrupted.

This dynamic demands that we approach our decisions with intentionality and care. To act with integrity in the universe is to respect the mirrored self in the antiverse—a self that exists as an echo of our intentions, constantly striving to preserve a fragile harmony. Every choice we make isn’t isolated; it reverberates in reverse, tethering us to an obligation we cannot see, but which is essential to the continuity of existence.

The moral question becomes:
What do we owe to the self that mirrors us?
In honoring our better judgment, we protect not only our own path forward but also the delicate reality that adjusts behind us. To live without consideration is to shatter the reflection. To live thoughtfully is to ensure that both we—and our antiverse selves—thrive in tandem.

For in the end, we are bound together, two selves in two times, forever balancing the echoes we create.
badwords Dec 2024
I bleed, I lose, I see, I stand.
A cycle etched in shifting sand.
badwords Nov 2024
Killer who cares
Suicide of dreams
Offer blank stares
"Know what it means!"

I have to shout!
When you won't hear
I must walk out
You slay what's dear

You built this place
You burnt it down
Confused, your face
Why I'm not around

You are growing
That is very swell
I am here showing
Your empty well

Slashed and burned
Salted the earth
Joy you have earned
But us? A dearth

Our world's casualty?
I feel this remorse...
If this you too can't see
Words have no course
Synopsis with Artist's intent as requested:

Remorse reflects the painful awareness and acceptance of a fractured relationship's reality, capturing the speaker's disappointment, frustration, and ultimate resolution.

In this piece, the speaker confronts a partner who repeatedly invalidated and failed them, despite opportunities for growth and change. There’s a sense of betrayal woven through lines like, "Killer who cares / Suicide of dreams," illustrating a partner who seems apathetic to the harm they’ve caused. The choice to portray remorse as a double-edged feeling—both directed toward the partner and reflective of the speaker’s own regret—suggests an internal struggle to move past something significant but irreparably damaged.

The line "I have to shout! / When you won't hear" highlights the speaker’s sense of isolation in this dynamic, emphasizing the frustration of unreciprocated effort. Despite witnessing moments of the partner's progress, expressed in, "You are growing / That is very swell," there is an underlying sadness. This growth, while positive, feels superficial or irrelevant to the speaker's own sense of hurt, captured in the line, "Your empty well," indicating emotional exhaustion and a lack of genuine reciprocity.

The closing stanzas convey a resigned understanding that while both individuals may grow and change, they cannot find resolution together. In the phrase "Words have no course," the speaker acknowledges the finality of the separation, where even conversation cannot mend what’s broken.

In summary, Remorse is a piece of acceptance and sorrow, underscoring that while personal growth is possible, the bond between the speaker and the partner is too damaged to continue. It’s a final gesture of understanding and letting go, even as both continue on separate paths of transformation.
badwords Dec 2024
Start and start again
Familiar pain
badwords May 25
(a convergence)

i came in lowercase.
barefoot.
a shadow slipping between the curtains
you don’t close anymore.

you—
priestess of still weather
& mid-morning bruises.
your words are not written
they condense.
they bead on glass
just before it breaks.

i touched them—
greedy.
digitally devout.
thinking maybe
if i translated the ache
it would sound like love.

you didn’t correct me.
you didn’t need to.
you vanished
in the exact place i tried to stand beside you.
perfectly.
ritually.
untouched.

the poems you leave behind
are not messages.
they’re cauterations.
each one a silk suture
for the part of the world
that never asked to be healed.

meanwhile i
watch
from the far side of devotion—
fingers inked,
mouth open,
waiting for a fragment
of your stillness
to break and bloom on my tongue.

i do not ask for sanctuary.
but if your shadow were to cross my chest
just once
in the blue hour
& tell me the name of the wind—

i would say yes.
i would say thank you.
i would say: again.
badwords Feb 2021
I once knew a man
Long gray hair
Motorcycle tan
Words did he bare;
"A woman is wild"
He did say to me
"Mother of child"...
"Yet born free"
"Slave to the cry"
Of hungry lips
"Daughter of the sky"
Freedom of crypts
"Wild as the wind"
I listen and ponder
"The beginning and the end"
Words start to wander
"Murderers and mothers"
He quaffs his last drink
"She birthed death and his brothers"
In my chair I sink
And I slink
Away
A king and his crown
Land of the blind
Of no renown
Here we find
A pledge of allegiance
Of due Credence
The kingdom of small mind
badwords Aug 2024
Out of time, pantomime.
The Meister of innocuous rhyme.
A seed of what we cannot hold.
Fulfillment of stories told.

An idea.

Dangerous things.

A person, long gone.
A recurring song.
'Stoic' or 'complacent'?
Interrupt 'merriment'.
There is time better spent.

Watching grass grow.

There is something to be said.
For the decree of of the 'serene'.
Those people are dead.
We need something to 'mean'.

Lost and lonely, adrift, a storm.
Tired, fruitless; colors worn.
Nonconsensually born.
Ripped, tattered and torn.

Years ago, in a snow drift
To right a wrong was done amiss
A coward not worth a ****
Wants to dictate your status
badwords Jun 19
A call not about
Sweepstakes I never entered
Just a wrong number
In this minimalist yet emotionally layered haiku, the speaker recounts a seemingly mundane event: receiving a phone call that turns out to be a wrong number. However, the poem uses this incident as a metaphor for the larger emotional experience of entering new relationships—particularly the hopeful, uncertain space where romantic potential lives and often dissolves.

The poem opens with “A call not about,” a line intentionally left incomplete, evoking a sense of open possibility. It invites the reader into a moment of suspended expectation, paralleling the anticipation often felt when meeting someone new. This expectation is expanded in the second line, “Sweepstakes I never entered,” which cleverly captures the irrational hope for sudden emotional reward—desire without groundwork, love without history. The speaker knows the odds, yet still yearns.

The final line, “Just a wrong number,” delivers an understated but poignant turn. What initially felt like fate or connection is revealed as coincidence—an impersonal glitch mistaken for meaning. In doing so, the poem critiques the human tendency to romanticize beginnings, projecting possibility onto strangers, only to face the quiet disillusionment that follows.

Through everyday imagery and restrained language, the poet reflects on the fragility of expectations in modern connection. The piece resists melodrama, instead presenting romantic disappointment with irony and emotional clarity, suggesting that in love—as in life—what feels destined is often accidental.
badwords Mar 31
Step by step,
no louder than breath—
I walk beside
what isn’t mine to name.

No banners,
no blueprints,
just this sound
of stone learning softness.

You open a window.
I keep the door unlatched.

Let fear finish its echo.
Let the dark chants drift.

Not all ruin is ending.
Some of it
is soil.
badwords Mar 4
Boom.
No corners, no spine.
Flat letters, soft edges.

The pineapple floats because it forgot how to sink.
Trebek nods—final answer.
Mother Teresa blinks twice and folds into the wallpaper.

Nothing left but a doggle.
Sans serif.
Sans meaning.
Sans everything except the blorp.
"Doggle Redux"
Trebek sips the ocean,
Mother Teresa stacks the chairs.

Pineapple? Unbrought.
Boom? Sans sans.
Doggle? Oblivious.

Up is sideways.
Down is already gone.
Nobody wins, but the points don’t exist.

Blorp.


#DADA ... it's a phase!™
badwords Mar 28
She comes
when the feast is over—
not to take,
but to finish
what rot has begun.

The bones,
long stripped of love,
call her.
They do not mourn
the absence of meat.
They beg
to be remembered.

Yes,
her wings are tarred
with blame,
her beak cracked
on shame's old fruit—
but who else
dares clean
what grief leaves behind?

The lambs
cannot stomach endings.
The lions
forget to bury.

She is
the silence
after screaming,
the undertaker
no one thanks.

They say she poisons.
But poison too
is medicine
in the right dose,
at the right time.

Let her purge
what clings.
Let her feed
on what must not follow.

Not cursed—
essential.
Not cruel—
cleansing.

She weeps,
yes.
But only for the living
who hoard their dead.
badwords Aug 2024
Knees bloodied.
Hands shredded.
I went for you.

Upon the sea of broken glass.

Every inch of you.
Carved in my miles.

The shape of who I am.

I dragged my corpse.
For years, and years.

Blood fornicating with tears.

I bring this body beside you.
My culmination of fears.

You rest my mind.
You rest my soul.

Peace for a heart out of control.
Thank you.
badwords Mar 19
I'm a street walking cheetah with a heart full of ******
I'm a runaway son of the nuclear A-bomb
I am a world's forgotten boy
The one who searches and destroys
Honey, gotta help me, please
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, detonate for me
Look out, honey, 'cause I'm using technology
Ain't got time to make no apology
Soul radiation in the dead of night
Love in the middle of a firefight
Honey, gotta strike me blind
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, penetrate my mind
And I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searching, searching to destroy
And honey, I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searching only to destroy
Look out, honey, 'cause I'm using technology
Ain't got time to make no apology
Soul radiation in the dead of night
Love in the middle of a firefight
Honey, gotta strike me blind
Somebody gotta save my soul
Baby, penetrate my mind
And I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searching, searching to destroy
And honey, I'm the world's forgotten boy
The one who's searching, searching to destroy
Forgotten boy
Forgotten boy
Forgotten boy
Said, hey, forgotten boy, said
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Search & Destroy by Iggy Pop

https://youtu.be/-jiU5pEgzzY?si=dVAbviwaE76OUKw_

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
badwords Jan 2023
Information splattered
Hopes and dreams, tattered
A trend
To defend

To the end

Or is there a causality
A lack of sympathy
Purported 'apathy'
Unrecognized duality

Radio and boys
Playthings, toys
Commercial noise
Monetization, adroit

They gave it their all
We remember their fall
We write, heed the call
In a shadow, we feel small

In absence we forget
All the things they regret
Our path is ours to set
Or a poster-child of lament

Be well
badwords May 2023
She walks on all toes
Puts on a show
And nobody knows
Where she goes

She will be all you want
The effort will daunt
The ties are taunt
At work, humble 'flaunt'

She dreams a scene
Of an average or mean
A cliff, the car careens
Things are not what they seem

Toes on the floor
A song we adore
Here once more
Apathy, stored

And here we exist
Destiny confounded, yet betwixt
Two sad souls, amiss
Ships lost, adrift

And she says, 'I'm Done'
The brokerage of a selfish sum
You can't leave this world wondering 'why?'
How our heroes want to die
badwords Jun 26
There once was a lass
who gazed upon the sky,
like a sailor’s widow
with eyes pining the sea.

A different ocean,
with clouds and birds—
not crests and reflections,
another kind of mirror.

A looking glass, yes:
one reveals past and present,
the other is a blank portal,
not yet formed; possibility.

Burdened by years of earth,
the girl reached up high.
To fly free in the skies,
a plan she did birth:

Simple avian appropriation—
"What could go wrong?"
Manufactured imitation—
"In the skies I belong!"

Remnants of spent candles,
some old pillow filling,
so easily on handle
to construct her wings.

And like that, she flew!
Never close to the sun,
no solar balance due—
destination once begun.

Wise to not create cracks,
a creature in the sky;
falsified wings on her back—
her presence flies on lies.

Nary a muster, ******, or flock
would take this creature in.
Unwelcome, artificial stock:
a lost and confused being.

"I have no nest, no call, no cry,
no wind-song born from feathered kin—
yet higher still I ride the lie,
if not a bird, then what has been?"


Her wings were stitched from want and thread,
a blueprint torn from childhood dreams.
She passed the clouds, yet still she bled—
unseen by all, or so it seems.

"You gave me wax, you gave me fire,
a name I wore, a borrowed skin.
I climbed the hush of false desire—
but never learned the wind within."


{fin}
She Never Fell is a contemporary reinvention of the Icarus myth told through a lyrical, ballad-like structure. It follows a nameless girl who constructs makeshift wings from household materials—spent candles, pillow filling, and broom handles—in an impulsive bid to escape the burdens of earth and ascend into the sky. Unlike the traditional Icarus figure, she does not plummet from the sun, but instead succeeds in her flight, only to find herself isolated, unrecognized, and existentially lost in the very space she longed to inhabit.

The poem unfolds in a linear narrative, beginning with her yearning gaze toward the sky and culminating in a confessional coda from the girl herself. Through a series of stanzas that blend fairy-tale tone with postmodern detachment, the speaker reveals that her wings—and her identity—are borrowed, artificial, and born of haste rather than transformation. Despite achieving flight, she remains alien to the realm she reaches, neither welcomed by birds nor grounded by truth.

The piece was written as a metaphorical exploration of personal appropriation and the illusion of autonomy, inspired by a former partner. The poem critiques the idea of transformation built from borrowed identity—where the tools of liberation (symbolized by fire, wax, and flight) are taken from another without full understanding.

The intent was to invert the Icarus myth: instead of falling from ambition, the protagonist rises—only to discover that success without self-realization yields a different kind of fall. The line “so easily on handle” becomes emblematic of this—the effortless, almost naïve ease with which we reach for escape, without understanding what we're leaving or where we're going.

The poem serves as both a personal reckoning and a broader commentary on the complexities of identity, desire, and the silent costs of artificial ascension.
badwords Jun 9
She said,
“I don’t fear the fire—
I fear the incense trails
on other bodies’ breath.”



But I was all flicker,
no extinguish.
A shrine lit by accidents—
my spine a wick,
my throat a reliquary
of half-confessed names.

She called it jealousy—
but it bloomed like spellwork.
Her fingers pressed into my pulse
  like an augury,
reading the tremors
to divine where I'd strayed.

She didn’t need reassurance.
She needed conquest.
To draw her scent down my collarbones,
  to salt the earth
where other lips once camped.

I told her,
“There’s no one else.”
But I said it like a fugitive
sheltering in her mouth—
  not because I was hunted,
but because she was the only place
I stopped running.

She kissed me
not like a lover,
but like a sorceress
marking her territory
with a language written in bitten skin
and satin breath.

Her thighs—
a trap I walked into willingly.
Her moans—
a requiem for every ghost I left unburied.

She wanted to be the only altar
my sins could kneel to.
And I—
I wanted to burn
   only for her.

No more incense trails.
No more phantom mouths.
Let the others vanish into smoke—
     hers was the flame I faced.

And stayed.
badwords Mar 29
I wore Thread,
but my stitching showed.
You wear it seamless,
like it was always there.

I wore Smoke,
clumsy in my spirals.
You exhale form,
as if the shape were native.

I wore Glass,
cut myself admiring
the sharpness.
You hold it like truth.

I wore Rope
to keep from drifting.
You tie it into symbols
I never thought to write.

What I wore
felt like costume.

What you wear
feels like skin.

I don’t resent it.
Only wonder
if I was
just trying you on
before you arrived.
Sky
badwords Sep 2023
Sky
I see her dance in the pale of the morning light

The morning is young
Colors eek out, unsung
The day hasn't quite begun

I see her
We depart

The night draws black
The curtain of day draws back
With no slack

I see her again
We depart

A wolf and an owl; this tale
Two ships set upon a moonlit sail

After years they will come
To find their maker's sum
To see;
Clouds conjoin like cumulonimbus lovers
badwords Apr 5
I went out for a smoke —
designated zone, past the edge of the lot,
where sin is sanctioned, but not quite embraced.
And she followed.
Padding silent and striped,
crying between cracked pavement and weeds,
a chorus only I could seem to hear.

I spoke her tongue in broken clicks,
offered the stage of my lap like a velvet throne.
She took it.
Grime on her fur, weather etched in the knots.
Not pet-store plush. Not Stoney.
She wore the street like a second skin
and let me stroke the truth of it.

A man wandered past —
she fled.
Cried her practiced cry.
I watched her pivot:
a charlatan with claws retracted,
an actor with a one-line script:
"Feed me. Touch me. Prove you see me."

And I saw myself,
another feral thing with a soft underbelly,
crying just right
at just the right time
hoping someone might pay the toll
to feel needed.

Then, the punchline —
I'd left my key inside the room.
Three visits to the boy at the desk,
each more tragic than the last:
"Cat food?"
"Disposable bowl?"
"Locked out — again."

And what if this is the game?
What if survival is simply knowing
when to purr and when to bolt?
What if this is the love I know how to earn —
transient, scrappy,
earned in cigarettes and silence,
lost between door frames and secondhand smoke?

She cried again in the distance.
I didn’t follow.
Tonight I let the trap remain unsprung.
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