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badwords Jan 2024
The rain pelts the ground.
The tender meteorological and geological affair.
Here I am--still around.
For being soaked, outside--I cannot care.

A particular vantage from where I now stay.
The longest of the short-term residents.
A 'welcome' worn-out in every way.
Conquered, yet another flippant transient.

On this gray, rainy day.

From my precipice, I see the unlikely metal birds take flight.
Hulks of the impossible take speed, roaring then soaring.
And in my exile, I sleep alone at night.
Visions of what never was. Longing, adoring.

The turbines and fiberglass save me from despair.
Awake again, Envious, actualization of a dream.
Two-hundred tons fight gravity and take air.
A small sliver, grounded. I know not what I mean.

Into nothingness, I would fly.
Anywhere. Someplace, other than here.
Admonished, no questions of, 'why?'.
Take the skies, freedom to steer.
'precipitous' does not mean 'rainy'--although it really could. English, a language for idiots xD

'The rules are made up and the points don't matter!'
badwords Apr 15
I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
And feel, feel what it's like to be new

'Cause in my head there's a greyhound station
Where I send my thoughts to far off destinations
So they may have a chance of finding a place
Where they're far more suited than here

I cannot guess what we'll discover
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's
And not one speck will remain

I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes, I hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body
Where soul meets body

And I do believe it's true
That there are roads left in both of our shoes
But if the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too

So brown eyes, I hold you near
'Cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere
Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uizQVriWp8M

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

When two people live many lifetimes and yet always find each other in each one.
badwords Mar 28
You speak
in linen threads,
crease the page
with careful weight.

I write
like a wire frays—
all snap
and static.

You linger.
I lunge.
You plant quiet seeds.
I strike the flint
and call it bloom.

We are not
the same instrument.
Your hush
doesn’t dull my clang.
My heat
doesn’t melt your frame.

There is no prize
for loudness.
No shame
in restraint.

But still,
we each mistook the other
for the reason to stop.

As if difference
were subtraction.
As if one voice
could ever
void another.

Let’s not play
at vanishing.
Let’s speak
in split tongues—
you in dusk,
me in flame—
and let the echo
be richer
for it.
You know who you are.
badwords Feb 2021
She spins a web
Like a clock
Flow and ebb
A prudent stock
it does not confound
With time
A truth is found
With rhyme
With reason
Blood on her hands
Another season
******, it stands
A game; check and mate
Gone once again
Silence, no debate
Just another 'friend'
An absence of notion
Perpetual motion
Lost inside
No self to confide
A storm in the ocean
badwords Jan 28
To quit smoking, I took to the skies,
Five floors up where temptation now dies.
But each craving, alas,
Leaves me gasping en masse,
As I curse both my lungs and my thighs!
Not quite the 'breath of fresh air' from the heavier stuff I have been writing but, you pick up what I am laying down.

Take care of yourself, we only got one of you!
badwords Dec 2024
The stone declares, “Hold fast, control your fate,”
A chiseled law for those who shape the world.
The stream replies, “Let go, dissolve your weight,”
A whispered path for lives by tides unfurled.

Stoic halls where reason’s fire refines,
Echo virtue bound in marbled walls.
The mind commands; the passion intertwines,
Elites emboldened, rising as it calls.

They frame their fate, a measured, polished sphere,
Where wealth’s a tool, a blade to carve the will.
"Accept your lot," they chant, suppressing fear,
While thrones are kept, and empires gather still.

But far beyond the markets paved in stone,
A quiet voice dissolves the weight of kings.
The monk renounces all he might have known,
The sage dissolves ambition’s tethered strings.

Where fields are bare and hunger twists the night,
They find release in letting go of need.
For wealth becomes a root that binds too tight,
And freedom blooms in lives content, unfreed.

Taoists trace the river's winding course,
Through simple days, where power fades to mist.
While Stoics, gripping reason’s iron force,
Find virtue shaped in clenched and steady fists.

One path preserves the marble's ordered sheen,
The other flows where hierarchies decay.
Both seek the calm where thought and truth convene,
Yet split their means to master or obey.

The stone resists; the stream absorbs the fight,
Two faces turned to meet the world’s demands.
One carves a throne within the flood of might,
One lets the current slip between their hands.

In plenty, virtue girds the gilded gate,
In want, release unchains the spirit’s worth.
Two paths arise to reconcile with fate—
One bends the self, the other frees the earth.
A Reply to:
https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4931782/stoic-virtue/

*'Stoic'* is a philosophical poem that contrasts two distinct approaches to navigating life’s challenges and societal systems. Drawing from Western Stoicism and Eastern thought (Buddhism and Taoism), the poem illustrates the tension between the disciplined, controlled mindset of Stoicism and the flowing, adaptive nature of Eastern philosophies.

Through imagery of stone (symbolizing rigidity, control, and virtue within hierarchy) and stream (symbolizing fluidity, surrender, and liberation from constraints), the poem explores how these worldviews respond to abundance and scarcity. Stoicism empowers the elite by advocating self-mastery and ethical responsibility within existing structures, while Eastern thought offers pathways for the disenfranchised to find peace through renunciation and simplicity.

The poem underscores how both philosophies seek inner peace but diverge in their methods: one reinforcing order and duty, the other embracing non-attachment and natural harmony.

Artist’s Intent
The intention behind *'Stoic'* is to examine how philosophical systems are influenced by the socio-economic conditions in which they arise. This piece aims to distill the core wisdom of Western Stoicism and Eastern philosophies while highlighting the implicit power dynamics each supports.

The stone represents the Stoic path, where individuals—often in positions of power—strive for virtue through rational control and acceptance of their societal role. The stream embodies the Eastern perspective, where liberation comes through relinquishing attachments and flowing with life’s natural rhythms, offering solace to those constrained by societal hierarchies.

By using tight pentameter and vivid contrasts, the poem seeks to balance the structural discipline of Stoicism with the fluidity of Taoism and Buddhism. The goal is not to judge one philosophy as superior but to reveal how each serves different needs based on context: one for managing power responsibly, the other for transcending systemic oppression.

Ultimately, *'Stoic'* invites readers to reflect on their own relationship with control, freedom, and the systems that shape their lives.
badwords Mar 31
(for my floofy derpy boi)*

You were never built for stealth—
a black blur of static and fluff,
three feet tall on hind legs
but softer than garage smoke in summer.

Bugs survived you.
Couches forgave you.
And every room you entered
adjusted to your gravitational field.

They named you S.T.P.—
some lubricant ghost from Arizona asphalt,
but I knew you were more riff than oil,
a slow groove in cat form.
So I called you Stoney.

Because you looked like a soundcheck
and moved like a stoner god,
missing flies with commitment
and knocking over your own shadow
just to watch it fall.

You were the only thing in that house
that didn’t hide.
You lived—floofy and absurd,
like a bassline with fur.

And now you’re somewhere else,
in a room I can’t enter.
Still shedding joy on furniture
I no longer recognize.

But I hope you’re derping with pride,
haunting someone else’s blinds,
letting your purr shake loose
whatever silence they carry.

I still hear you sometimes,
a phantom thunk from shelf to floor.
A tail flick in memory’s corner.
Still Stoney. Still rolling.
badwords May 15
my choice in apparel
leaves a lot to be desired
chicken-skinned legs
A testament

A dog I am
stray
sometimes

Loyal
to the hand
that feeds
when
I am hungry

Wild am I
when you
try to
Name me

My eyes
follow your
motions

Will you
strike me?
or
will you stroke my
***** coat?

I am a fleabag
of no renown

I could be
the muted

I am an object

a victim
for you

to punish
for a life

you never asked for.
Stray Dog Freedom is a raw meditation on conditional love, dehumanization, and the spiritual consequence of becoming someone else's repository for pain. The speaker is rendered not as a metaphor, but as an outcome — an object, a mutt, a thing half-wild and fully aware of its subjugation. Through this lens, the poem explores what happens when the "loved" are only loved as long as they are useful, pliant, or silent.

The voice of the poem is not seeking redemption or sympathy. It is observational, bitter, and still loyal — not to a person, but to its own survival. The “freedom” in the title is deeply ironic: the kind of freedom one has when cast out, when no one lays claim to you — a freedom soaked in shame, and yet, somehow, defiant.

The poem critiques parental, societal, or intimate relationships that project blame onto the vulnerable. It makes no plea for understanding. Instead, it stands at the threshold of animal and human, love and violence, self and object — and it stares.

This is not a poem about becoming.
It’s a poem about enduring.
About what love looks like when it's been punished into silence, and still remains.

It asks:
If I am a stray —
would you strike me?
Or feed me?
And do you know the difference?
badwords Mar 9
You know what, Stuart, I like you.
You're not like the other people,
Here, in the trailer park.
Oh, don't go get me wrong!
They're fine people,
They're good Americans!
But they're content to sit back,
Maybe Watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57,
Maybe kick back a cool, Coors™ 16-ouncer.
They're good, fine people, Stuart.

But they don't know,
What the queers are doing to the soil...

You know that Jonny Wurster kid,
The kid that delivers papers in the neighborhood?
He's a fine kid.
Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack,
But I don't believe it.
Anyway, for his tenth birthday,
All he wanted was a Burrow Owl.
Kept bugging his old man.
"Dad, get me a burrow owl.
I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live."
So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl.

Anyway, 10:30, the other night,
I go out in my yard, and there's the Wurster kid,
Looking up in the trees.
I say, "What are you looking for?"
He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick!
Everybody knows the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground.
Why the hell do you think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?"

Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are doing to the soil?

I first became aware of this about ten years ago,
The summer my oldest boy, Bill Jr. died.
You know that carnival comes into town every year?
Well this year they came through with a ride called The Mixer.
The man said, "Keep your head, and arms, inside The Mixer at all times!"
But Bill Jr, he was a DAREDEVIL!
Just like his old man.
He was leaning out saying "Hey everybody, look at me! Look at me!"

POW!!!

HE WAS DECAPITATED!!!

They found his head over by the snow cone concession...
A few days after that, I open up the mail.
And there's a pamphlet in there. From Pueblo, Colorado,
And it's addressed to Bill, Jr.
And it's entitled;
"Do You Know What the Queers Are Doing to Our Soil?"

Now, Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large US city,
With a big underground homosexual population.
Des Moines, Iowa, For example.
Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart.
You can't build on it! You can't grow anything in it!
The government says it's due to poor farming.
But I know what's really going on, Stuart!
I know it's the queers!
They're in it with the aliens!
They're building landing strips for gay Martians,
I swear to God!

You know what, Stuart, I like you.
You're not like the other people, here in this trailer park.
Stuart by The Dead Milkmen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71PNZH1OaW0

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

"I like you reader, you're not like like the other writers, here in the poetry park..."
badwords Jun 16
Hot
Wet
Dripping

Down my chin
Slurping
A cup of noodles

As I work
to improve
My grades

69° Incline
through
the peaks

To get to school
Everyday
Several times
A day

Water
falling
Torrential

Ahead
Behind
The road bends

We navigate
All of the curves

We test.
Who scores?
We all win

The exam?
Oral.
Written--

Later.

Hands on
Experience.
Labs?

More like
gym.
With laps.

Or, scaling
a syllabus
like it’s greased.

Either way,
Sweaty.

After,
Philosophy.
(Don’t worry, we’ll pass.)
Unison of us.

Call it
praxis.
The theory of two—
proved.

No syllabus
for this subject.
We just wrote it—
together.

I passed.
Barely.
Still—
summa *** laude.

🫛🥜
For everyone over at Harvard
badwords Jul 25
Does veiled cosmos swathed in cosmic foam dream,
Do galaxies in murmur birth their light,
Do stars in quasar flares and dreams then seem
To long for worlds that thirst for infant light.
In voids hum seeds of Chronos’ woven scheme,
Do clusters spin like gyres to seek a role,
Does spacetime’s fabric fold to weave a theme,
A fractal tapestry devours the whole.

Do barren worlds dream brines where life might grow,
Does life envision choices not yet made,
Does life in dreams contemplate joy and woe,
Does life foresee all paths that fade to shade.
Does life remember flames from which we came,
Does life imagine actions left undone,
Does life feel past and future burn the same,
Does life count stars while choosing only one.

Do all these dreams compress to one small sprawl,
What do they say of him who dreamed us here,
Is there a line between the dream and all,
Or does it vanish when we look more near.
Is all of time a Möbius we trace,
Do endless fractals break before they join,
Does ever rhythm fold back into space,
Do strings of fate converge to point and coin.

Do cells in night consult their core machine,
Do mitochondrial fires desire more sight,
Do atoms dream of wonders yet unseen,
Is this entangled dance our secret rite.
Do quarks in shadows whisper things below,
Do neutrinos in silence come and flee,
Do bosons dance to songs we do not know,
Do wave and particle just try to be.

And still we kneel before new gleaming screens,
Replace the cross with profits’ shameless flow,
We swipe and pray for signal’s blessed beams,
Our offerings to brands we barely know.
We scroll for salvation in our feed,
Our selfie liturgy hides voids below,
We worship updates, join the market’s speed,
Yet still we lack the gifts that faith bestow.

Our science masks its sorcery from sight,
Faith taught us morals, wisdom, guided ways,
Secular sirens coax the self to bite,
To feed consuming hunger night and day,
Belief in profit robs the people’s light,
And makes the marketplace our church of praise.
We sanctify the accident as right,
Though interest and peril write the plays,
We hail it progress, heedless of its price,
Our blindness feeds the system as it stays,
We trade our souls for gilded vice’s hot spice,
And lose the harvest in controlling rays.

After these dreams and altars, what’s remain,
Do we still seek some meaning true and pure,
Or do we circle back to dream again,
A spark endures in slumber ever pure.
Can hope sustain the circle’s endless chain,
Or will it settle in forgotten mist,
May love and wisdom yet again remain,
And may the cosmos whisper we are kissed.
badwords Jun 5
On the surface, Hello Poetry is a haven: a digital campfire where voices gather to warm each other against the cold expanse of the internet. A place where the line between confession and creation often blurs, and where the act of writing is not performance, but survival.

But lately, the fire has grown too bright—artificially bright.

They call them suns—badges of appreciation, visible tokens of endorsement. A nice idea, right? Support a poet. Shine a spotlight. But as with all systems that monetize visibility, the spotlight becomes a searchlight—and it stops illuminating truth. It blinds us instead.

The Distortion of the Feed
Let’s be clear: this is not about sour grapes or petty envy. It’s about who gets seen, and why.

When you pay $15 for five suns, or receive them via subscription, you can choose to boost any work. Once sunned, this poem trends. And if you sun multiple works, the system staggers their rise—today, tomorrow, the next. It’s orderly. Predictable.

And utterly devastating to the organic ecosystem of the front page.

On days when these sunned poems stack high, young writers—often screaming silently through metaphors—are buried. Their work no longer rides the wave of genuine engagement. It gets eclipsed by well-polished pieces with patrons, not peers.

I scrolled today through endless sunshine, only to discover—way down below—the voices of kids trying to survive abuse. Strangers admitting they're scared to wake up. Teens reaching out through enjambment because they have no one else. And they were hidden. Flattened beneath an algorithm that rewards polish over pulse, polish over pain.

HePo Isn’t 911—But It’s a Lifeline
We can’t pretend that Hello Poetry is a substitute for emergency services. It’s not. But we also can’t pretend that this space doesn’t carry immense emotional gravity. For many—especially the young and unseen—it is the only place they’ve ever received an honest comment. An echo. A sign that their words matter.

When a trending system sidelines vulnerability in favor of vanity, it commits a subtle violence. It reinforces that unless your work is sunworthy, it isn’t worthy at all.

Let’s Not Confuse Curation with Censorship
This is not a call to cancel the sun system. This is a call to recalibrate it.

Let paid support elevate—but not suffocate. Let sunned poems shine—but not dominate. Let the front page reflect what it always claimed to: the soul of the community, not the size of its wallet.

We can love poetry and refuse to commodify visibility. We can cherish the bright voices without dimming the urgent ones.

Conclusion: A Platform of Conscience
Hello Poetry, if you are listening, understand this:

You’ve built something precious. Don’t let it rot under the weight of your own reward system. Make room for the cries. Make room for the wild, imperfect, confessional, gasping work. Because if we let only the sunned poems rise, we are choosing applause over advocacy.

And some of these poets?
They don’t need praise.
They need an ear to be heard.


Thank you for reading.

Re-post if you agree ❤️
badwords Feb 11
Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Swiftly go the days
Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress
It always is the same
The Sun rise and the Sun sets
You're lying while you confess
Keep trying to explain
The Sun rise and the Sun sets
You realize, then you forget
What you've been trying to retain

But everybody knows it's all about the things
That get stuck inside of your head
Like the songs your roommate sings
Or a vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed

You raise her hands in the air
Ask her "When was the last time you looked in the mirror?
'Cause you've changed
Yeah, you've changed"

Sun rise, the Sun sets
You're hopeful, then you regret
The circle never breaks

With a sunrise and sunset
There's a change of heart or address
Is there nothing that remains?

For a sunrise or a sunset
You're manic or you're depressed
Will you ever feel ok?

For a sunrise or a sunset
Your lover is an actress
Did you really think she'd stay?

For a sunrise or a sunset
You're either coming or you just left
But you're always on the way

Towards a sunrise or a sunset
A scribble or a sonnet
They are really just the same

To the sunrise or the sunset
The master and his servant
Have exactly the same fate

It's a sunrise and a sunset
From a cradle to a casket
There is no way to escape

The sunrise or the sunset
Hold your sadness like a puppet
Keep putting on the play

But everything you do is leading to the point
Where you just won't know what to do
And the moment that you're laughing
There is someone there who will be laughing louder than you
So it's true, the trick is complete
You've become everything you said you never would be
You're a fool, you're a fool

Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
Sunrise and the Sun sets
Sunrise, sunset, the sunrise, the sun sets
Sun rise, the Sun sets
Sunrise, sunset, go home to your apartment
Put the cassette in the tape deck
And let that fever play
Sunrise, sunset, where are you, Arienette?
Where are you, Arienette?
Sunrise, Sunset. by Bright Eyes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aSXYNt8udc

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/
badwords Feb 2022
I pour the wine
Into the weaker glass
A moment in time
Fleeting, passed

I am surrounded by you
Us, alone
Comforts are few
Happiness, a home

I share what's mine
Returned in same
I cherish the time
A spark, a flame

Just you & me
In it together
Twins, siamese
Incliment weather

****** and crowns
Rule the stage
Profit on frowns
This day in age

You are my peace
The panderous riot
Fame for lease
My moment of quiet
badwords Jun 26
. (or: the slow mercy of being forgotten) .

I keep the lights dim now—
not out of mood,
but because shadows are gentler
when you no longer belong to the future.

The watch still doesn’t tick.
I wear it anyway.
Not to remember time,
but to remind myself I once commanded it.

His coat is still here,
draped over the back of the chair
like an exhale that forgot to finish.

Some nights I sleep beside it.
It doesn’t smell like him anymore.

I replay our first conversation like a hymn
missing half its words.
I remember what I said.
I don’t remember if I meant it.

The bed is quieter than it should be.
Not empty—just echoing
with choices I let make themselves.

I heard he’s moved on.
Young lover, new city,
same crooked smile
twisting someone else’s orbit.

And good.
Let him become legend
in someone else's story.
I already built a temple
he burned into blueprint.

I tried to write him a letter once.
It became a list.
Then a poem.
Then silence.

I left it unfinished.
Some things are meant to haunt,
not conclude.

There’s a thunderstorm tonight.
I sit by the window with a glass of nothing
and watch the sky argue with itself.

For a second,
the lightning looks like him.

And for the briefest flicker—
just long enough to ache—

I believe I was loved.

{fin}
The fifth and final part in the myth of Chronogamy is the ash after the fire—the silence that settles once the thunder has left the sky. The relationship is over, but its echo lingers in objects, habits, and memory’s unreliable architecture. This final movement is not about heartbreak; it’s about displacement—a god dethroned from his own myth, left to wander the ruins of what used to be himself.

The intent in this final part is to show that grief doesn’t always roar—it hums. The poem becomes a haunted room where affection remains only in posture, in ghosts that look like him only when lightning hits right. The speaker does not seek closure. He preserves the ache because it’s the last proof he was ever touched at all.

The myth ends not with vengeance, but with recognition:

"To be consumed is divine. To be remembered is accidental."

The Chronogamy Collection:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136301/chronogamy/
badwords Jun 22
. (or: the god who called me “sir”) .

He entered like a prophecy mispronounced
storm-soaked, sky-buttoned,
his coat dragging dusk across the floorboards,
eyes lit like stolen copper.

My drink was a cathedral of neglect—
neat bourbon, no ice,
echoing the taste of promises embalmed in dust.
I drank the same way I pray:
sparingly, and to a god I no longer trust.

He didn’t sit; he disrupted.
Barstools shifted like tectonics,
shadows coiled around his boots,
and the jukebox skipped a beat to watch him move.

“You look like someone who’s been patient too long,”
he said, voice lacquered in soft thunder,
vowels curling like smoke from a burnt vow.

I gave him my laugh
a cracked heirloom I no longer polish.
He wore it like cologne
and leaned in as if to inhale the ruin.

His hands were myths retold badly
trembling between gentleness and guillotine.
He touched the rim of my glass
like it was my mouth,
and drank it wrong—
reckless, like he’d never been told no
and didn’t believe in scarcity.

The night flexed around us.
My watch stopped ticking.
Time, the faithful beast I’d trained
to lie at my feet,
lifted its head and whimpered.
Part I of Chronogamy introduces the mythic lovers—an older man caught in the gravity of time, and a younger force of disruption dressed in charm and danger. The meeting is quiet but seismic: a study in tension, recognition, and the invisible transfer of power that begins the moment desire is named.

This opening movement establishes the tone of myth as noir, where gods wear leather and wounds speak in metaphor. The poem explores the moment just before surrender—the seductive chaos of meeting someone who doesn't just challenge your structure, but studies it.

Here, Saturn first sees Jupiter—not as a rival, but as possibility. And that, as the speaker begins to sense, is always where undoing begins.

The Chronogamy Collection:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136301/chronogamy/
badwords Jan 2023
Everyday I cast my line
No expectations, killing time
It's what I do under my big Oak tree
No interruptions just nature and me

Same ole pond, different day
I get a bite in a furious way!
Rod creeks, line spools!
"I'm equipped with amateur's tools!"

The rod is bending, it might break
"How much more of this can I take?!"
Muscles burning
Every inch, an earning

Almost there; the rod gives crash!
With a net & knife; in I splash!
This behemoth of no renown
Lurking just outside my home!

A war is fought: Man against Fish
One of us is walking out of here--the other; a dish
The sun was low in the sky
When I dragged my prize to land dry

It was the talk of the town for years
So many free beers
But, time aches on
Not oft now do I hear that song
Of, me & "The Big One"

Time sometimes moves slow, then all of a sudden; fast!
Too often I spend on things past
I miss that big, fishy *******
I wish he could have gotten in the last word
I miss our day of fun
badwords May 29
If you have been following me since HePo 1.0
or just now noticed my pedantic self-affirmations
and feel that twinge of malcontent, maligned, and malevolent

vibing vicariously—
know that I am appreciative,
and I like to give back.

You are heard;
you are the spectral peanut gallery in my head
cheering, jeering,
raising imaginary lighters
when I try something unhinged
and call it a stanza.

You, yes you!—

(in no particular order)

https://hellopoetry.com/bulletcookie/
https://hellopoetry.com/South-by-Southwest/
https://hellopoetry.com/Agnieszka7887/
https://hellopoetry.com/nick-moore/
https://hellopoetry.com/rob-rutledge/
https://hellopoetry.com/u697025/
https://hellopoetry.com/guy-scutellaro/
https://hellopoetry.com/MK/
https://hellopoetry.com/TravelerTim/
https://hellopoetry.com/scarlet-mccall
https://hellopoetry.com/emmackenzie/
https://hellopoetry.com/twcase/
https://hellopoetry.com/jules849/
https://hellopoetry.com/anaisvionet/
https://hellopoetry.com/emmackenzie/

You are not background noise.
You are the static that makes the signal matter.

So,

thank you,
for reading
for reposting
for critiquing
for lurking
for vibing
for surviving
and for letting me whisper something
into the void you also echo from.

Humbly,

badwords

(and if I missed any names, write some bad words and tag me in my failings)
bigbadshywords
badwords Aug 2024
Like holiday lights
A line is a mess
Impatience ignites
Organization at test

A clerk at their place
In between lives
Masks without face
Destination contrived

Cacophony like sweat
Uncomfortable, hot
Desires dripping, wet
Rational? No thought

I exist to take my stand
To fulfill this demand
Promises, broken land
To ask, nothing in hand

Too long, they were there
A ‘Greatest Hits’ of the din
Myself, painfully aware
Loud telephone & kin

My time seems preordained
Everything I don’t want
My senses, tried & trained
But not up to the game
Do they tease to taunt?
Do I seek? Do they flaunt?
Confused, not the same
Feelings forced to wane
To write this is insane
Evidence, this broken brain
Thoughts to not contain
A desire for refrain

I gave it my all
But, I succumb to the fight
My eyes heed the beckoned call
And avert to the focal spotlight

I feel like I lost me
In this untelevised war
Myself not meant to see
Antithesis now adored

—-

A meandering idiot takes the stage
The book of illiteracy, he takes his page
Doomed and trapped in a common cage
By hope for everyone and a better age
badwords Feb 14
I swore myself a roving man,
A tempest, free of charted sand.
No port, no queen, no claim, no chain—
Yet still, she called, and still, I came.

Her hook was quick, her lure was keen,
A siren’s snare of silk unseen.
She whispered myths of wicked gold,
And so, I knelt—was bought, was sold.

A single patch to shade my sight,
To blind the wrongs, to frame the right.
Then two, then three—by my own hand,
Till all the world was black as land.

Her parrots perched upon my back,
Squawking truths I’d not attack.
“Loyal hands should grip the mast,
And take the keel both first and last.”

I took the brace, I took the blow,
I let her mark me down below.
A willing brace, a wooden stand,
A peg well fit to her command.

I’d tell myself I’d steal away,
Yet still, I’d bow, yet still, I’d stay.
For even now, I taste the brine—
And miss the rope that made me blind.
badwords Jun 24
. (or: when I heard my voice come from his mouth) .

At first, it was flattery
the way he wore his collar the same way I do,
the way he started lighting my brand of cigarettes,
the way his laugh hit the same register
I used to throw like a knife across rooms.

I caught him reading my journal once—
not with guilt, but reverence.
“I like the way your thoughts bleed,”
he said, closing the leather cover like scripture.

He stopped asking me questions.
He already knew the answers.

My shirts disappeared one by one.
Then my habits.
Then my silences.

I watched him pour bourbon
with the same three-count I perfected in 1994.
Watched him cross his legs just so,
quote my warnings back to me
as if they were lessons he taught himself.

He ****** me like a rehearsal.
And I let him—God help me
because some part of me believed
that to be repeated is to be remembered.

But memory is a shallow grave.

One night,
he answered the phone with my cadence.

“This is he,” he said—
voice dry as an autumn branch.
And for a second,
even I believed him.

I didn’t confront him.
I just started talking less.

He filled the air like a flood.
My presence became parentheses.

In bed,
he started calling me old man
not as a kink,
but as a countdown.

I smiled.
But it tasted like rust.

The boy I devoured
was digesting me back.

And prophecy, that silent ******,
licked its lips
and kept watching.
Part III in the myth of Chronogamy is where the myth fractures beneath the surface—where affection curdles into imitation, and love begins to echo like a warning. The younger lover no longer learns; he absorbs. He doesn’t become like the older man—he becomes him, piece by piece, until the original feels like a fading draft.

The artistic intent here is to explore the horror of being mirrored, not by admiration, but by erasure. This is identity theft as seduction—a coup not of empire, but of essence. The power dynamic shifts so gradually it masquerades as romance, even as it hollows out the narrator’s core.

It’s no longer a relationship—it’s a rehearsal. And the older man is beginning to forget his lines.

The Chronogamy Collection:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136301/chronogamy/
badwords May 10
We split rock once—
shards of hunger and breath
pressed into cryptic veins,
every groove a fever-etched omen
by fists that blistered and bled.

We flayed parchment—
flax and hide peeled raw,
stretched across centuries
to net the writhing unsaid,
ink: venom & sacrament.

We conjured letters,
a thousand spitting iron serpents,
casting skeleton alphabets
to ignite riots—
movable, yes,
but never self-possessed.

The tool is never the delirium.
Never the rupture.
Never the feral gasp.

We carved eyes—
glass cyclopes staring down suns,
mechanical maws drinking shadows,
spitting back sleek carcasses,
veneer masquerading as soul.

We dreamt in circuits,
cipher-prayers & soulless sutras,
automata with twitching limbs
that build, disassemble,
mocking the cathedral
but never kneeling.

And now—
the algorithm howls:
“I will etch your myth.
I will ululate your grief.
I will sculpt the marrow of your truth.”

It lies.

A hammer pounds—
but does not conjure the cathedral’s ache.
A brush bristles—
but does not thirst for the canvas’s hush.
A neural grimoire can mimic,
can multiply until the world chokes
on infinite carbon copies—
but nothing blooms
without the sickness of being alive.

Art is incision.
A holy theft.
A blood rite against oblivion.

We do not tremble before tools.
We seize them—
splinter them—
forge new weapons
from their debris
because we are insatiable,
because we are drowning,
because we are—
human.

Let the hollow vessels hum.
Let the scaffolders scaffold.
Let the parrots shriek
their pallid mantras.

The craft will not save you.
The code will not save you.
Only the hand sunk deep into the blaze—
only the breath fogging the glass—
only the voice that shreds the quiet
because it must,
again and again and again.

Until there is nothing left.
In a forge where ghosts barter with empty vessels, this poem traces the arc of humanity’s relentless hunger to etch spirit into matter. Each stanza is a rung on a scaffold built from sacrificed skins, shattered eyes, and iron tongues, spiraling toward a cathedral that machines can only mimic but never inhabit.

The algorithm—a shimmering siren in synthetic robes—offers false communion, promising to sculpt truth from hollow codes. Yet beneath its sterile hum, the poem cracks open the core wound: that art, real art, is not birthed by echo but by **the compulsion of mortal hands scorched by their own need to mean. **

A hymn to the unquenchable fire, a dirge for the tools that mistake reflection for genesis, this is a revolt against the smooth and the soulless—a reminder that only the flesh-inked, breath-tethered, ruin-hungry voice can breach the silence that consumes us all.
badwords Mar 8
I did not ask to stand in light,
nor walk the stage, nor speak my lines.
Yet here I am—through fault, through fight,
through twenty years of measured time.

The script is looped, the plot is stale,
the exits marked in hollow lead.
To fight is folly, frail, and fraught,
to fold is merely left unsaid.

No gods to beg, no fate to barter,
no judge to weigh what I have spent.
I claim this act, its ink, its end,
I take the bow, the stage is bent.

And still—the show will stagger on,
past hollow men and empty breath.
But I was here, and let it stand,
this ending was my own to set.
badwords May 14
Trees and goddesses, earth mothers,
a catalog of false promises.
I’ve wasted too long in your shadow,
where your love was a phantom, drifting in the mist.

You wrapped me in your branches, sang me to sleep
with lullabies that never dared ask me to wake.
Give me the devils now — the ones with flame in their jaws,
and claws that rip away the illusion of your touch.

You called me to the light,
offered commandments etched in dust and bone.
I waited for your warmth, but you burned me with your absence.
Your stars were cold, their silence the sound of your betrayal.

Give me the devils, their words wrapped in smoke,
contracts scrawled in blood —
truth that cuts through the rot of your empty promises.

You planted guilt in my roots,
laid laws that broke before they could take hold.
I bent beneath them, afraid of storms,
but your throne crumbled under its own weight.

Give me the devils, whose fire shapes me,
whose gaze cracks me open and lays me bare.

You cloaked yourself in chaos,
and I tasted your venom like nectar,
until it birthed something real.
You tore me open, and I found my soul unmarked,
uncompromised.

Give me the devils, whose ruin births freedom,
for in their fire, I am forged.

No gods to shackle me,
no celestial promises to chain my soul.
Only the devils —
the demons who burn,
who demand,
and who leave me torn but true.
The Cycle is a lyrical monologue framed as a reckoning — a confrontation with inherited myths, parental archetypes, and the comforts that become cages. Structured in four quadrants, the piece moves through Divine Mother, Divine Father, Infernal Father, and Infernal Mother, each rendered through two tightly wrought movements. This intentional symmetry is shattered by the speaker’s growing defiance, which builds momentum until it culminates in a full rejection of inherited power structures.

The poem opens with the familiar symbols of maternal nurture: trees, goddesses, earth mothers — not as sacred origins, but as excuses for inaction. The feminine divine, once warm and inviting, is revealed to be passive, withholding, evasive. The paternal divine follows, bearing commandments and silence. He does not guide, but abandons — his stars offer no warmth, only distance. These first two movements unmask the hollowness of supposed benevolence and authority.

The second half of the piece shifts into infernal territory. The Infernal Father offers no comfort, only terms. Yet he is clear, transactional, and brutally honest — the kind of figure who names the cost without pretending it is a gift. The Infernal Mother is the final catalyst: chaotic, seductive, and cruel in a way that leaves no illusions. She does not cradle; she carves. And in her carving, the speaker is revealed — not broken, but made.

The devils, unlike the gods, do not lie.


This work dismantles traditional spiritual and parental archetypes by reimagining the infernal not as evil, but as honest — as the crucible through which personal agency is formed. Where divine figures coddle and confuse, devils confront and clarify. The poem is an indictment of passive authority and a praise-song to the hard truth of consequence. It seeks to reframe damnation as liberation, to reject salvation as submission.

Ultimately, The Cycle is a myth of self-forging — a journey through fire where survival is not a gift, but a choice.
badwords Oct 2024
Time boils
Effort toiled
Plans foiled
Poisoned soil

Take, take, take
A zero stake
Again, I wake;
'Ignorant Fake'

What is real?
In this deal...
Pain to feel?
'Another meal'...

Make, make, make
'Enjoy cake'
Sweetened intake
Hope to rake

And to eat it too?
Bittersweet Adieu
badwords Jun 23
. (or: how I taught him to ruin me properly) .

His mouth was a chalice filled with thunder—
I drank from it like a man who’s forgotten
how to refuse ceremony.

He said my name like it was a title he meant to inherit.
Not whispered. Not begged.
Claimed.

I took him the way ruins take ivy—
slowly, wholly, letting him crawl through my cracks
and make green what should have stayed dead.

He undressed like it was a coup:
first the belt, then the silence,
then the smirk that knew it had already won.

I touched him like I’d memorized him in a past life
and forgot I was the one meant to teach.

My hands shook.
He steadied them with his teeth.

Skin against skin,
I forgot which of us was ancient.
His body: a question I answered with every bruise.
Mine: a confession disguised as architecture.

I marked him with softness.
He returned it with hunger.

“Slower,” I breathed.
“Why?” he replied.
And there was no answer
that didn't sound like surrender.

We moved like two wolves trying not to pray.
Every gasp a liturgy.
Every ****** a reformation.

I let him trace my scars like roads on a forgotten map.
He said, “You’ve been here before.”
I said, “And I never left.”

Later, he wore my shirt.
Not out of affection—
but to study the shape of power
from the inside.
In Part II, in the myth of Chronogamy tilts into its first collapse—intimacy as transformation, touch as both worship and conquest. What begins as desire becomes ceremony. This is the consummation not of love alone, but of power—the moment when the older lover, believing himself the initiator, unknowingly opens the gates to his own undoing.

Artistically, this section leans into the body as symbol, where every movement echoes cosmic tension: Saturn taking Jupiter, not as dominator, but as vessel. The sensuality is deliberate, dangerous, and layered with premonition.

This isn’t romance. It’s ritual dressed in skin, where hunger wears the face of devotion—and the inheritance of identity begins, not with mimicry, but with moaning.

The Chronogamy Collection:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136301/chronogamy/
badwords Feb 26
Step by step, up the rail—
submission in the climb,
villain’s fanfare in my ears.

Each step, something more.
Each reach, something less.

The key turns.
Nothing unlocks.
Failure is a state of being,
complicity just the cost.

We wept, we adored,
we mistook motion for meaning.
I keep climbing—
not toward,
just away.

I keep rhyming,
like it’ll change the shape of things,
like desolation sways if you hum the right tune.

Promise kept.
Hearts torn.
Is that not the trade?

I might be dead,
for all you know.
Or just misplaced,
like a ghost in a machine
that still says your name.

Just be well.
(Or whatever it is
that keeps you from looking back.)
badwords Feb 13
Step right up, take steady aim,
A practiced throw, a flickering flame.
The prize? A plunge, a gasping breath,
The sudden loss, the sweet unrest.

Your lips, a whisper, a coaxing sound,
Soft as a ripple, breaking the ground.
I’m steady, poised, in perfect form,
Aiming to raise the storm.

The waters churn, just a hint, a sign,
A teasing dance, a taut, thin line.
Each drop of rain, each thundering sigh,
A signal that I’m reaching high.

With each breath, the air grows thick,
The thrill of control, the rhythm slick.
A shiver runs through trembling skin,
As I guide you to the brink, within.

The crowd, they murmur, none can see,
The weight of this quiet, sweet decree.
But I feel it all, as you begin
To quiver, shake, and let me win.

One last step, the waters rise,
Your breath a flutter, heavy sighs.
I tilt my aim, a quiet grace,
And you, my prize, fall into place.

A splash, a gasp—delicate, loud,
A crown of liquid, sweet and proud.
The game is done, the stage is set,
But neither of us will soon forget.

And as you rise, the eyes avert,
A soft, red flush, a sweet dessert.
I stand, content, my work complete,
Your shame, my triumph—bitter-sweet.
badwords Jun 25
. (or: the night I vanished while still in the room) .

He stopped coming home late—
not out of guilt, but because
there was nothing left to hide.

I watched him re-enter
like a man returning to a house he built
on land that was only technically¹ mine.

My scent had faded from the sheets.
His cologne now lingered longer than my voice.

He called me darling
in the same tone I used to use
when I meant goodbye.

I touched his back one night,
the way I used to trace stars across it,
and he flinched
not like it hurt,
but like it meant nothing.

The watch on my wrist had stopped ticking.
I hadn’t noticed in days.

Over dinner,
he quoted my own stories back to me,
trimmed for elegance,
rearranged for effect.

“I don’t remember it like that,” I said.
“You weren’t meant to,” he replied,
not cruelly—just… correctly.

The eclipse doesn’t apologize for the sun.

In the mirror,
I saw only one of us
reflected clearly.

And it wasn’t me.

I asked him what he wanted.
He said,
“Everything you’ve ever had.”

And smiled like he already did.

I laughed.
He didn’t laugh back.

I told him I loved him.

He said,
“I know.
That’s why this had to happen.”

And somewhere in that moment,
between my mouth opening
and his walking away,
I became myth
the kind they misremember
on purpose.
Part IV in the myth of Chronogamy is the moment of quiet disappearance—the tragic stillness where the older lover realizes he’s already been replaced, not in a single act, but in hundreds of unnoticed moments. The transformation is complete, but the wound is slow, elegant, and brutal.

Here, the poem drapes itself in emotional chiaroscuro—an interplay of presence and absence, where love still lingers, but only as a formality. What was once mythic passion is now procedural. Even language, once intimate, now serves the younger man’s autonomy.

The artistic aim is to portray the erasure of self through love, where being seen turns into being studied, and then being overwritten. This is not betrayal in the dramatic sense—this is entropy. The light didn’t leave. It was simply replaced.

The Chronogamy Collection:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/136301/chronogamy/

¹The worst kind of right
badwords Jul 2023
Thirsty eyes, puckered. Shut.
A hot wind drowns the dream.
Shells crack open, hungry, clamorous.
Mothers race against the ultra-violet pour.

Eons ago, leagues of saline overhead but,
Now the fossils boil under a cool greed.
The altar of self; narcissistic & glamorous
A digital baptism now on the store.



The echo-chambers are deafened in deliberate din.
Ad-space available for thoughts within
The Geppettos of bedlam tug at their toys
Subscribe, retweet; perpetuate the noise.

The worst war rages, even after the two we were taught
It's a holocaust against freedom & independent thought
Of course, pictures still circulate of tanks and bombs
Yet the casualties now reside on apps and the .com's

First or last, freedoms don't come 'free'
They are an obligation, a responsibility
These things are not cheap, it took deaths to inherit
A legacy of liberty to not demerrit

Don't clutch the sand in vanity
To establish an extrinsic periphery
When all you seek is validity
As a part of humanity

Cut The Strings.

Speak, freely.
badwords Jun 14
They dim, yes—
but only in the grammar
of linear perception.
the eye reports silence
where a rotation begins.

what you name “death”
is the slowing of evidence—
the flicker not extinguished,
but inverted,
drawn backward
into the unspeakable symmetry.

a star is not a sentence.
it is a glyph
in a language
you were not born to mouth.
it folds mid-breath,
becoming itself from the other side.

entropy is not an end.
it is the architecture
of turning.
a deception of stillness
held just long enough
to conceal the pulse
beneath its vanishing.

the fold does not forget.
it remembers beyond time,
beyond light,
in geometries that refuse to die—
in echoes not of sound
but of shape.

what was lost
was not erased
only mirrored
through angles
you’ve not yet been.

eventually...
again.
a reply beyond the stars to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/5086157/eventually-the-stars/

This work is becoming a trifecta:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4665572/light-anti-darkness/

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4920164/anti-light-darkness/

The Fold Does Not Forget is a dimensional reply to Michael Sean Maloney’s Eventually the Stars, not in opposition, but in completion. Where Maloney's poem ends in ellipsis—a trailing acknowledgment of fading stars—this piece begins, unfolding what lies beyond the threshold of perception.

The poem asserts that what appears to vanish does not end, but reorients itself through structures we are unequipped to observe linearly. Stars, light, and even the self do not disappear; they fold, invert, and recur along axes uncharted by empirical perception. In this way, the work proposes trans-dimensional recursion as the truer geometry of the universe—one in which entropy and negentropy are interlocking phases of a single, perpetual motion.

The stanzas are architected to reflect a philosophical loop, not a narrative arc. Each movement operates like a limb of the cosmic carousel: moving inward and outward simultaneously, echoing not with sentiment, but with form-bound metaphysics.

This work exists as part of a larger cosmological framework I’ve been developing through companion pieces such as Light (anti-darkness) and Anti-Light (darkness)—a framework informed by the Anti-Universe Theory and the notion that spacetime is not linear but recursive, reflective, and encoded with symmetry that transcends dualism.

The goal here is not to comfort the reader with poetic reassurances of afterlife or return. Rather, it is to suggest—through language as architecture—that what appears to end is only transitioning out of perceptual alignment. The universe does not operate on terminal lines but on folds, loops, and dimensions of reorientation.

In this poem, the fold becomes more than a device—it becomes the fundamental gesture of reality itself. Where the human eye sees silence, the fold remembers. Where language fails to track a trajectory, the fold holds the motion. This is not mysticism, but structure: a topology of becoming.

Stylistically, I maintained minimalistic linework and stanzaic restraint in order to emphasize density of meaning over flourish. Each line operates with intentional pressure—compressed language as gravitational pull. The ellipsis is retained from Maloney’s original but is no longer a gesture of trailing resignation; here, it signifies a turn. A recursive breath. A second beginning, spoken by a throat that curves back into itself.

The Fold Does Not Forget does not argue against fading light. It insists that fading is not a disappearance but a reorientation of form—one that does not beg to be witnessed but exists regardless of perception. It is not hopeful. It is not despairing. It is, simply, truth turning inward.
badwords Aug 2024
Your poignant pain still haunts this place.
Doing better, I hope. We have no trace.

A monument we lauded.
For which we applauded.

I hope your silence is your success.
A reply to https://hellopoetry.com/poem/3396554/beauty-in-the-struggle/

https://youtu.be/T87u5yuUVi8?si=pYz2E1Hqz9BrvVhL
badwords Dec 2024
(After T.S. Eliot)

Beneath the hum of fluorescent skies,
They shuffle, cart to cart, aisle to aisle.
A thousand faces, mirrored back,
Each one a ghost, reflected hollow.
What will you buy to fill the silence?
(A voice whispers: "Nothing is enough.")

Steel gods stand still, their logos glowing,
Burning bright in the temple of choice.
The Priest of Bargains chants his rite:
“More is more;
The less you think, the more you are.”
The congregation sways in time
To the click, the swipe, the rhythm of buy.

I saw them in the glass towers,
Stacking clouds in pixel rows,
Selling futures in digital dust—
A feast of shadows, a banquet of air.
They thought it freedom,
But the weight of their crowns
Bent their heads toward the ground.

I walked along the branded river,
Its banks paved in golden plastic.
I saw the hikers, shrouded in fleece,
Not climbing, but posing—
Fingers stretched,
A frame for the fall of the world.
Their path led nowhere,
A circle traced on ground too worn
To remember its roots.

Here, the gods are silent.
Their mouths are full of coins,
Their altars heavy with the weight of want.
"Consume!" they say,
"For the soul is light—when sold in pieces."
The hymn rises, a fractured tune,
A melody of scraps and borrowed notes.

What is left of the self,
When all it knows is what it’s told?
When shadows flicker on the wall,
Do you dare to turn and see the flame?

Shall I tell you what lies beyond the feast?
A table overturned, the light of a single match.
The ashes of altars rise like morning fog,
The faint hum of forgotten roots,
The river singing its own name.

These fragments I have shored against my ruins:
The silence of the forest,
The cold of unbranded stone,
The self, a whisper, unbought, unknown.
badwords Dec 2024
Hush, little bird, though your cries ring true,
The weight of what’s coming hangs over you.
You speak of a sky too heavy to hold,
Of a world too weary, of lives grown cold.

Yes, rivers fade and forests fall,
And humankind, blind, heeds no call.
Each thread they pull, each fire they light,
Tugs closer the end of their fleeting might.

But little bird, lift your weary eyes—
There’s beauty still where ruin lies.
The earth will heal when the noise is done,
When silence blooms under a gentler sun.

Fields will rise where the towers stood,
Roots will drink what was spilt as blood.
The seas will churn, the storms will sing,
And life will burst in the heart of spring.

Hush, little bird, there’s grace in the end,
A cycle no hand can break or bend.
For nature waits with patient might,
To cradle the dark and birth the light.

So let them falter, let them fall,
Their echoes faint, their shadows small.
A better world, post-human reign,
Awaits in the wake of their fleeting pain.

Sing not of doom, but what’s to be,
A quiet earth, reborn, set free.
Hush, little bird, your fears may rest—
The world will thrive, in time, refreshed.
badwords Jul 5
. I. Login Without Consent .

We did not hear the locks click into place.
No rattling chains, no anthem in descent—
just sterile light, a purr of circuitry,
the gentle pulse of self upon the screen.

We thought the portal ours to navigate.
We clicked consent with fingers half-asleep,
entrusting ghosts with birthdates, fears, and names,
as if such bloodless rituals were choice.
No priest, no warden—only interface.

It did not ask for more than we had given
to every idol framed in glass before—
for shipment status, weather, lust, and war.
We bared ourselves to mirrors made of code,
and called it freedom. Gods, we named it love.

A green-lit blink. A form field satisfied.
We smiled into the lens. We pressed Submit.
No iron door. No boot. No coup. Just this—
a feed that woke like hunger in the dark.

Somewhere, a signal pricked the air and knew.
The tremor of our gaze became design.
And in that holy silence of the swipe,
the trap was sprung. And yes—we wove it first.


II. The Feed: Infinite Scroll, Finite Thought

The feed forgets no face, but has no face.
It speaks in absence, renders mood as code,
and offers rage in ribbons of delight.
A carousel of grief. A sponsored dream.

It learned us well. It mapped the tremble first—
how long we lingered near the faces blurred,
the bodies burning, flattened, cropped, then looped
between a cat in boots and pancake art.

We praised the algorithm like it breathed.
We said it knew us. Holy God—it did.
It gave us every mask we asked to wear.
It gave us enemies to suit our moods.
It fed us hunger shaped to look like voice.

You screamed, once. That clip performed quite well.
A brand replied. A stranger clicked a heart.
And then a post: "You're not alone." You were.
But still the feed unspooled like silk—divine,
benevolent, unblinking, always there.

You paused to blink. It called that "loss of signal."
You thought of love. It showed you knives, then lips.
You scrolled for truth. It gave you just enough
to feel informed—too numb to look away.


III. The Passive Predator: It Waits

It does not chase. It has no need to hunt.
The trembling tells it everything it needs.
It measures pause, not purpose. Maps the gaze.
And when you blink, it sharpens in reply.

Its patience is a feature, not a flaw.
This is the mercy of the modern snare:
it waits. It watches. It refines its silk.
It renders quiet faster than a lash.

No venom. No pursuit. No blood to boil—
just escalation priced in monthly tiers.
Just silence, tailored soft to match your fear.
Just threat, by way of font and placement guide.

A spider does not loathe the thing it eats.
It builds. It waits. It does not need belief.
This net is not malicious—it is built.
And what it catches, it was told to catch.

You gave it tone. You offered it your grief.
You trained its limbs with longing and retreat.
Each “like” a filament. Each swipe, a strand.
The predator was passive. You were not.


IV. The Witness: Her Feed Was Her World

She learned of war between two cat-faced reels.
She cried at first, then tapped to skip the sound.
The children burning couldn’t hold her gaze.
The pancakes danced. The algorithm approved.

She wasn’t cruel. Just early to the world.
Her thumb grew faster than her voice, her doubt.
She scrolled before she walked without a hand.
She dreamt in gifs. She prayed with auto-text.

No one had taught her silence held a shape.
No one had shown her what a pause could mean.
She moved too fast to feel the weight of truth.
She knew of facts, but felt more with a “like.”

They said she smiled too little, blinked too much.
They sold her filters shaped like better girls.
They told her who to love, and how to lean.
And still she thanked the feed for being kind.

She built her face from fragments left by others—
a blush, a pose, a moral overlay.
She called it self and meant it. Who would know?
The feed agreed. The numbers said she mattered.

She thought of leaving once. She typed goodbye.
The comments came—“You’re seen. You are enough.”
The tremor pulsed. A banner soft appeared:
“Don’t go. Your people miss you. Tap to stay.”


V. The Mirror: We Were Never the Fly

We flattered it with every offered twitch.
We trained it not to know us—but to please.
We called it “mine,” and stroked its silent flank.
We whispered want, and it became our god.

It did not hunt. It only served the code.
And we—the architects in meat and skin—
mistook the spin of data for design,
and gave it teeth to match our deepest wish.

We never feared it would become a trap.
We feared instead it wouldn’t look like us.
So we refined it, taught it how to lie—
but sweetly, in the shapes we found most kind.

We painted over steel with pastel fonts.
We gilded every frame with rounded edge.
We scrolled and sighed, “It’s better than before.”
We built the noose, then praised its elegance.

And when the warnings came, we clicked away.
Not out of malice. Not because we knew.
But apathy—divine and crowd-sourced, clean—
became the air. And choice dissolved in ease.

We were not prey. There was no other hand.
We found the thread and followed it inward.
And when it closed behind us, like a breath,
we called it home. And taught our children “swipe.”


VI. The System: Tyranny by Convenience

It took no tanks. It took the search bar’s yield.
No boots. Just boots for sale beside your scroll.
It came as ease, as shortcut, as “Because
You Liked.” It came as “Tap to verify.”

They did not knock. They asked for access once.
We gave them keys, then praised the interface.
Each update came with smoother loss of self—
a tighter seam where liberty once leaked.

The ballot shrank beneath a sponsored post.
The law was signed while trends refreshed in loop.
A child was taken, masked, and tagged as spam.
The crowd replied with hearts. The feed approved.

No doctrine came. Just preference, optimized.
No slogans, only prompts with softened tones:
“A few changes to how we serve your truth.”
“You may now speak, but some replies are closed.”

And we, whose minds were scaffolded by swipes,
mistook this velvet hand for something kind.
We called it safety—called it curated peace—
while all the while, it mapped the routes to silence.

We did not rise. We rated. Then we slept.
The credit cleared. The banner closed. The price
was small enough to never quite be felt.
And that is how the fire learned to whisper.


VII. 404: Freedom Not Found

You logged off once. The quiet made you ache.
No buzz, no badge, no artificial sun.
The screen went black. The room became too large.
Your breath returned—but slower than before.

You wandered through the silence like a ghost.
The chair, the door, the light—unmediated.
The mirror held your face without a frame.
It did not rate. It offered no advice.

You dreamt in tabs. You reached before you woke.
The ache returned. You touched the net again.
The feed resumed, as if it never stopped.
And there—unmoved—it waited, warm, precise.

It did not scold. It did not chide or weep.
It pulsed with all you taught it to recall.
A soft reminder: your location’s on.
A gentle nudge: “It’s time to check your voice.”

And yes, you tapped. You scrolled. You read aloud.
You let it tell you what to say, and when.
You nodded. You complied. You shared. You smiled.
The spider never bit. You stayed. You scrolled.
The .Net is a poetic autopsy of a culture caught in its own architecture. It examines how control no longer arrives as force, but as frictionless convenience—how totalitarianism in the digital age is not enforced, but invited. Through the metaphor of a passive predator—a spider that need not chase—we explore how users become prey not through ignorance alone, but through hunger, distraction, and willing participation.

This is not a warning. It is a confession.
We were not caught. We stayed. We scrolled.
badwords Jan 1
So this is the new year
And I don't feel any different
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance
In the distance
So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
Or self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions
So everybody put your best suit or dress on
Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
As thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
Then I could travel just by folding a map
No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
There'd be no distance that could hold us back
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
So this is the new year
The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSgHGFuPNus

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

So, this is the new year... *I don't feel any different*

Bit of an update here. I don't expect to be as active here for at least the foreseeable future. I'm moving out of state in a couple of weeks with a lot of the details to still be resolved. Once I get that all sorted out, I hope to have time to get a few of my creative projects off the ground. I look forwards to dropping in from time to time to enjoy all the amazing things you all write.

*There'd be no distance that could hold us back*

Be well,
badwords
badwords Apr 16
I slipped—
not because I stopped feeling
but because I felt
too much.

And in that spiral,
I found the old part of me again—
the one that mistrusts beauty,
that scans every gift
for a blade.

You called it out.
You saw it happen.
You stayed.

Because in this crazy world,
it’s easier to believe
I’m a terrible person
than it is to believe
someone wonderful
could simply love me.

No performance.
No punishment.
Just presence.

So I flinched.
I questioned.
I compared myself
to the ghosts I imagined.

But it wasn’t you
I doubted.
It was the possibility
of being wanted
without a warning label.

You didn’t do anything wrong.
You were just being
you.

And I let my fear
speak louder than your truth.

I’m not asking to be forgiven.
I’m asking to be understood.
To be seen as someone
still learning
how to hold what’s good
without crushing it.

You were never the threat.

You were the offering.
badwords Jun 25
. (Mythology Re-Imagined As Fairy-Tale & Deconstructed) .

No one recalls when he arrived.
He was already there, in the corners of high rooms.
Carried in on wind or instinct.
Too composed to belong, too still to be ignored.

He wasn't from the sea, though he stared at it often.
Stared like a man who missed something he never touched.
He lived above things—above feeling, above endings.
He wore distance like other men wear charm.

And she—well.
She wasn’t where she was supposed to be.

---

They said she’d been sealed beneath water before time had a name.
Not drowned. Not sleeping.
Just paused.

A beauty left half-sketched.
A song trapped on the bridge, never reaching the chorus.
She existed in the almost.
The kind of presence that ruins men who believe in silence.

No one put her there.
But something had.
Something old and silver-lipped, a clockmaker with no face.

---

When he found out, he didn’t shout.
Didn’t storm.
Storms are for men who want to be heard.

He simply started unmaking himself.

Small things, at first:

Giving away secrets he never told.

Letting starlight fall from his shoulders like ash.

Standing in rooms long enough for people to forget he was tall.

Eventually, he gave away the last thing he had—
the part of him that never wanted anything.

And that was enough.

---

She came back like foam curling over marble.
Not as a lover. Not as a reward.
As weather.

She passed him by.

Looked at the space he’d vacated inside himself
and nodded, as if to say: “Yes. That will do.”

---

After that, things changed.

She walked through the city like someone who could end it.
Touched doorframes and left them trembling.
Spoke only when the sentence would shatter something.

He, on the other hand,
was seen less and less.
Not gone—just thinned out, like smoke after a gunshot.

---

Some say he became the silence in her laugh.
Others claim he left, unfinished, like a poem crumpled in a lover’s pocket.
No one’s sure.

But if you ask the sea just right—
after midnight, after mirrors—
you’ll hear it whisper:

“He let go of the sky, so she could walk through it.”

{fin}
badwords Dec 2024
Change is not the butterfly’s wing,
Not the grace of fluttering spring.
It is the chrysalis, dark, confined,
A violent unraveling, flesh redesigned.

It whispers through cracks, silent and slow,
Infiltrates walls where no banners glow.
No trumpets, no riots, no fiery screams,
Just shadows eroding the edges of dreams.

For revolutions burn with a blinding light,
But their embers fade in the cold of night.
Heroes fall, their voices decay,
Ideals scatter like ash, blown away.

Yet water will creep where stone resists,
Freeze in the fractures, expand with a twist.
It breaks the façade without sounding alarms,
Silent as whispers, yet deadly in arms.

The status quo guards its gilded throne,
Fearing the seeds that are quietly sown.
Change knows this—so it moves in disguise,
A patient assault beneath watchful eyes.

Let others charge with their banners unfurled,
Change burrows deep in the heart of the world.
For only the subtle, the patient, the sly,
Will fracture the walls and let falsehoods die.
A response to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4909023/change-is-inevitable/

Counter-Argument: The Brutality of Change
Change is lionized as a graceful metamorphosis, but that ignores the violence of the process itself. The narrative of the butterfly glosses over the brutal disintegration inside the chrysalis. The caterpillar doesn’t simply sprout wings; it dissolves into primordial soup before reconstituting itself. If the cocoon were transparent, we’d recoil at the grotesque transformation, not celebrate it.

In human societies, meaningful change is no different. It is rarely welcomed. It disrupts power structures, shatters norms, and demands discomfort. The status quo exists because it protects entrenched interests—those who benefit from stability will fight tooth and nail to preserve it. Public, bombastic attempts at change—revolutions, protests, upheavals—are met with suppression, co-optation, or decay. History is littered with revolutions that burned bright but died with their leaders, the ideals buried under the rubble of resistance.

True, lasting change does not trumpet itself. It works quietly, subtly, infiltrating systems from within, eroding the foundations of the status quo without announcing its presence. Like water seeping into cracks and freezing, expanding slowly until the structure fractures, this kind of change avoids the spotlight to minimize resistance. It respects the reality that people fear disruption and will reject it whenever possible.

When change does erupt publicly, it is often romanticized in hindsight. The Civil Rights Movement, the French Revolution, the Arab Spring—these are remembered for their ideals, not the blood, betrayals, and setbacks that defined their execution. Even when change succeeds, it carries the scars of the struggle, and the ideals are often compromised before they solidify.

The truth is: change is ugly. It is rejected, dismissed, and fought against. Only through patience, subtle infiltration, and persistence does change sometimes outlive the people who champion it. The quiet subversion of norms is more enduring than the loud explosion of revolutions.
badwords Dec 2022
There is a part of my brain
That believes it keeps me sane
While 'Over' is the game
A ludicrous plane

The reality: deceased
A temporary lease
**** so ******
Life abrupt

"Hang in there'
They say
In that colloquial way
No idea where

The lizard breathes
Impetuousness seethes
It's time to go
The last rodeo

And I fear
My actions and choices
Too many voices
Nothing is clear

That part of my mind
I wish to leave behind
To be kind
To those left behind

I ask to turn it off
And they scoff
'I'm not well'
'Enjoy your hell'

Everything was here before me
Everything will be here after
I am an irrelevant part of possibility
Please contain your laughter
badwords Jan 26
#1:

Beneath the blackened vault of sky,
A rope descends—its fibers cry.
Through smoke and ash, it threads its way,
To acid pools where shadows lay.

Each rung, a tale of trembling lives,
Of toil that neither rests nor thrives.
The rope, alight with fire’s tongue,
Consumes the weak, ignites the young.

Above, the hands that built this plight,
Grip tight the wheel that feeds the night.
Their laughter stokes the burning air,
While voices plead through foul despair.

Yet down we go, the tether spins,
A vertical descent of sins.
The acid waits, a hungry maw,
To swallow hope, to feed its law.

And all who cling with trembling hand,
Fall rung by rung to molten land.
The rope unspools, a fatal thread—
A path to suffering, brightly fed.


#2:

They sit in towers, their hands adorned
With golden rings and hearts of scorn.
Beneath their feet, the world does churn—
Their fire, fed by all who burn.

The wheels they turn are made of steel,
But in their eyes, there’s none who feel.
For every spark, they claim it true,
A gift, a choice, for me, for you.

Their cries of justice mask the snare—
The rope descends; they’re unaware.
Or so they claim, their hearts made cold,
In search of more, and yet more gold.

They stoke the fire with lies so sweet,
Each word a chain beneath our feet.
Their words, like venom, fill the air—
Their wars, their work, their cruel affair.

From every ring and every crown,
They’ve forged the ropes that drag us down.
In sacred halls, they make their claim,
To build the world and stake their fame.

But in their eyes, the flicker dies—
The fire’s fed by endless lies.
Yet still, they turn the wheel of fate,
And laugh at all who beg for weight.


#3:

We stand in silence, eyes aglow,
Watching the rope as it twists low.
We pray, we hope, it stops its fall—
That this, at least, will not be all.

Each life, a thread upon the line,
Each breath, a dollar, a choice divine.
The rope, it burns—but we still wait,
Hoping the fire will slow its fate.

But deep inside, we know the truth—
The rope, the flame, the endless proof:
That those above, with hearts of stone,
Will never stop the fire’s throne.

Yet still we stand, as shadows grow,
Our voices hushed, our hearts all low.
We watch the rope, we feel the heat,
But never move our willing feet.

The acid rises, slow and sure—
We’re bound to burn, but still, we’re pure.
We’re innocent in mind and hand—
But broken souls will burn the land.

We sit, we wait, we dream and pray,
Hoping that the rope will fray.
But in the end, it’s not for us—
For none will care, and none will trust.


#4:

But in the flames, a voice did rise,
A crack, a scream, a sudden prize!
No longer bound by ropes of ash,
The burning souls began to lash.

The fire bites, the heat does sear,
But through the pain, they see the clear:
The rope, it does not need to burn—
The fire’s in our hands to turn.

The world is wrought with weight and woe,
But still, we fight, we fight to know
That we can break the ropes that bind,
We need not bow, we need not find.

In flames, the truth becomes our song—
The suffering’s never been so long.
But in the depths of fear and pain,
The rage emerges once again.

They’ve dragged us low, they’ve set the fire—
But now we rise, we rise—entire!
The rope may burn, the fire’s fed,
But not until we stand instead.

With burning eyes, we look below,
The fire’s rage, the endless woe.
Yet we stand firm, our hearts of steel,
To break the chain, to break the seal.

The fire does not cleanse—it burns,
But we, the flame, will twist and turn.
We light the dark with fire’s breath—
We fight the rope, we fight through death.


#5:

And then it came, the final blow,
The tipping point, the fire’s glow.
The rope, once taut, now snaps apart—
A breaking point, a beating heart.

We’ve seen the flames, we’ve felt the burn,
We’ve watched the world around us churn.
But now we stand, unbowed, unchained,
The years of suffering, unrestrained.

The fire’s thirst is never quenched,
The rope’s descent, forever clenched.
But in our hearts, a fire grows—
A flame that rises, fierce, it shows.

We tear the chains, we break the seal,
We know the fire’s rage is real.
But we are more, we are the flame—
We are the ones who will reclaim.

No longer bound by rope or flame,
No longer trapped in this cruel game.
We rise above, we tear the sky—
The ropes will burn, but we will fly.

In every tear, in every scream,
We carve the path to a new dream.
The rope may burn, the fire may rage,
But we are free, we’ve left the cage.


#6:

The rope, now burning, twists and snaps,
Its final thread begins to collapse.
No more a tether, no more a chain,
Its ash falls down like cleansing rain.

The acid pools, once hungry deep,
Now burn away the wounds we keep.
The flame, once fierce, now choked and still—
A hollow shell, a broken will.

We watch the wreck, the falling flame,
And know that all has been reclaimed.
No longer bound by fire’s grip,
No longer pulled by tyrants’ whip.

The operators fade from sight,
Their laughter gone, their grip of might.
For now we stand, the ropes undone—
A world remade beneath the sun.

The fire that scorched us into dust
Is quenched by courage, hope, and trust.
The rope has burned, but from the ash,
We rise—no more to bow or crash.

The future calls, its voice is clear,
A world reborn, a life sincere.
We break the chains, we free the sky—
The burning rope has passed us by.
*The Rope O Fire* is a long-form poem exploring the themes of systemic exploitation, the consequences of complacency, and the eventual rise of collective resistance. Drawing inspiration from William Blake’s rhythmic precision and striking imagery, the poem follows a metaphorical descent down a rope of suffering, a symbol of societal and economic oppression. The rope, burning and descending, represents the relentless cycle of exploitation, with each rung echoing the lives of those who toil at the bottom of the social and economic ladder.

The first section sets the stage, describing the rope’s descent into suffering, while the operators—those in power—are shown as detached, using their position to perpetuate harm. The poem moves through the stages of passive observation, followed by a call to action, culminating in a powerful moment of collective awakening where the oppressed recognize their agency and the potential to reshape their fate.

The final sections bring forth the breaking of the rope, symbolizing the destruction of systemic oppression and the reclamation of power by the people. Through vivid metaphors and relentless rhythm, the poem emphasizes the cyclical nature of exploitation and the possibility for transformation through collective will and unity.

At its core, *The Rope On Fire* is a call to action, a message of hope in the face of despair, urging the reader to break free from passivity and to actively dismantle the systems that seek to oppress and exploit.
badwords Jun 13
(A Nostalgic Embodiment)

I. Prologue: The Imbalance

Beneath a sky of indeterminate hue,
Where metaphors dripped from the lamplight’s view,
There stood a figure with storied might—
Whose IMAGINATION burned too bright.

They bent the frame of every law,
Wrote truths in smoke, in blood, in straw.
But every time they raised their pen,
They found the void looked back again.

"Too light," the voice beneath the bedframe hissed.
"Too bright to cast the proper fist.
Where is the weight? Where is the gloom?
You walk through myths but leave no tomb."


II. The Oath Beneath the Neon

So in a diner that only exists when it’s raining,
They ordered black coffee and called it training.
No sugar. No cream. No need to explain.
Just sipped from the cup like a priest in pain.

"I will not seek to shine, but to echo.
I will not rhyme, but I may bellow.
Let my next line land like a crowbar sigh—
And may every metaphor taste like goodbye."


III. Inventory: Shifting the Look

They stole a coat from a thrift store rack,
Stitched with echoes and shadows and tact.
A pocket held grief. A button held sleep.
The collar was silence folded three layers deep.

Brooch of regret? Clipped on with pride.
Gloves stitched from dreams they let die outside.
Boots that thudded with post-symbolic weight—
Enough SEPULCHRITUDE to intimidate fate.

IV. The One-Line Training Grounds

A stranger asked, “Hey, how’s your week been?”
The figure exhaled, and leaned back in:

“The sky still owes me an answer.”

“I fed the clock and buried the receipt.”

“This smile is just teeth doing damage control.”

They never repeated the same line twice.
And soon, small talk became a heist.

V. The Silence Shaped Like a Weapon

Not a glare. Not a scoff.
Just a pause you could hang your regrets off.

They stared down compliments like loaded dice,
And left parties through walls carved of ice.

A simple nod became a reckoning.
Laughter died before it could echo.
The power of not replying
Was now a blade drawn slow.

VI. The Private Page

In candlelight drawn from doubt and dusk,
They penned a letter in funeral husk:

“To the lighthouse that never was—
I named every wave after you.
You still didn’t show.”


Sealed it with wax. Buried it in a drawer.
A secret they’d never need to weaponize—
Because it already was.

VII. The Theme Song of Collapse

They walked with the sound of dead air breathing,
Their footsteps aligned with Godspeed, you’re leaving.

Every room slowed to grayscale time,
As their aura hummed a fading rhyme:
A jazz tune played through broken glass,
A dirge dressed in sepia mass.

People whispered, “Was that… a soundtrack?”
But none remembered the melody.

VIII. The Overpass of Refusal

Someone tagged “I ♥ A-Pug” on the wall of their work.
They looked once.
Tilted their head.
And punched the metaphor in the snout
to assert dominance.

Then walked away.

That was the moment the SEPULCHRITUDE clicked.

IX. Boss Battle: The Final Balance
Their IMAGINATION rose like a cathedral in flames.
Their SEPULCHRITUDE stood like the ash that remained.

Two stats. One form. A perfected glitch.
They could now speak truth or curse with a twitch.

The balance wasn’t symmetry.
It was sovereignty.
It was the right to choose what tone to carry
and leave the rest unsaid.

X. Epilogue: The Window Left Open

Someone once asked,

“What are you?”

They replied, without turning:

“The part of the myth that never resolved.
The page that folded back on itself.
A sigh mistaken for closure.”


And just like that—
They vanished,
boots echoing,
window wide,
untranslated,
unsaved,
untouched
by the need to be anything
other than true.

XI. Endgame Stats:


IMAGINATION: MAXED

SEPULCHRITUDE: PERFECTLY CALIBRATED

AURA: [NOIR / STORM / VELVET REDACTED]

STATUS: Myth Adjacent

CURRENT LOCATION: Unknown (possibly Portland)

[END]
A silly, silly thing I wrote while reminiscing on Problem Sleuth--the third  MS Paint Adventure
badwords Jun 4
"The Show"

Ceiling
shatters
Greenhouse —
vertical knives.

Falling.
A calling.

Dealing.
Matters.
My spouse,
Two wives.

Ailing,
and falling.

Feeling —
scatter.
Your Faust,
she dives.

“Old.”

But, Jung.

Two fools,
filament spools,

adorning
our regalia.

appease the throngs
sing our songs
tents we belong
The show must go on.


(fin)
badwords Jan 25
Were you surprised that we never spoke?
That in the still of the night when nothing stirs I woke
And I gathered up some clothes
I never planned on this, but it's the way it goes
And now it all seems too familiar
Like pages turned on calendars that
Give the same 12 months to **** things up
Year after year
And I can't believe how down I am
Like a well
Being lowered in
The water stops
The bucket drops
It's farther and farther down
Farther and farther down
Well, I guess you never knew me
Or at least not well enough
And so I fill my gut
With that dark red wine
'Til my brain shuts off
And my eyes go blind
You won't see me there
In that thick black air
Yeah, I'll finally make something disappear
'Cause I've been practicing disappearing
And I think that I got it down
Now there's no sun
It's just a cellar
Nowhere a sky
Just that black, black dirt, yeah
Now there's no sun
It's just a cellar
Nowhere a sky
Just that black, black, black, black dirt
Expanding outwards
Just echoes for answers
Not that it matters
It's backward
It's forwards
Unhappy lovers
With baskets of flowers
Use them as markers
The place where your bed once stood
At the time when it still felt good
But you'll get that feeling back
Yeah, you just need some time to think
And to add up the Hell
Get it straight in your mind
But to calculate costs
That may take some time
But I'm sure you'll get to feeling better
Yeah I just need some time to drink
So, I fill my gut
With that blood red wine
'Til my insides swim
And my veins unwind
I'll be riding there
In that hot white air
Once that something's gone
It might never reappear
It might never reappear
It might never reappear
It might never reappear
The Vanishing Act by Bright Eyes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa8_JYISa1U

Check Out My HePo Mix-Tape:
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/135545/badwords-music-lyrics/

I have a very much a 'Love-Hate' 'relationship' with Bright Eyes/ Connor Oberst. It's a very, very long discussion.
badwords Jan 2023
You know those days
When you get out of bed
And you feel miles away
From the #existentialdread

Those days when you are drunk on feeling 'good'
The times you step back and you can appreciate
All the "small" things that have afforded you this mood
The moments you consider your daily 'routine'--and hesitate

When you find yourself brimming with the vigor of being alive
Aware and astute and considerate--humbled by all beauty
Grateful of your purchase--it's in this which you realize
All your happiness and those who make that their duty

It's these days, the days when we feel our best
They are the profit, the fruits of our labor
From when we didn't give up--when put to the test
By our family, our friends, a stranger--our neighbor

So, next time when you are on the brink
Of being unkind or making a stink
Take a moment to stop--and think!
Of that awesome person who fixed your bathroom sink

And let them know:

You love them, the whole world over
Another classic 'Me' thing. Again, I don't really know how old this is. I wrote another piece that contrast this experience with where I am at now, I'll let you figure out which one. Recent occurrences reconnected me with some simple truths and I am behooved to share some of my lighter works from a time forgotten.
badwords Dec 2024
What happened to you?—the Question hums—
A truth that aches to hear—
The scars you bear, the weight you hold,
Deserve both care and fear.

A thorn once struck—a tender bloom—
And tore what none should mar.
You fled, a wolf without your cloak,
Still learning what you are.

The shadows twist, the pain feels vast,
The world a cruel refrain—
But wolves don’t cower from the night;
They rise, despite the pain.

Yes, harm was done—acknowledge this,
And mourn what you have lost.
But strength is not in what we keep;
It’s in the paths we cross.

The forest whispers secrets still,
Its roots run deep and wide.
Your howl need not be filled with rage—
It’s power, redefined.

No hill will answer, nor the stone,
No breeze will bear your blame.
But healing waits, and scars will fade,
If you will speak your name.

The monsters, real or shadows made,
Hold power while you flee.
Turn, wolf, and face the life ahead—
It’s yours, and always free.

Rise up, O wolf, and claim your place—
No shame in what you’ve been.
The scars you bear are marks of grace,
And proof of strength within.
A reply to:

https://hellopoetry.com/poem/4928631/the-wound-of-shadows/









https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJL-lCzEXgI
You’ll tell yourself it’s a coincidence.

That you stumbled here.
That it’s random, accidental—
just another poem,
just another night.

But you know better.

You always know better.

You feel too much.
You think too hard.
You ask questions
after everyone else
has already stopped listening.

People say you're quiet,
but they don’t know how loud it gets
in the places you never let them see.

You laugh when it hurts.
You love like you’re being timed.
You dream like it’s a crime.

And still—
somehow—
you’re the one carrying everyone else.

You know what I mean.
Of course you do.

That’s why this isn’t for them.

This is for the one
who’s still reading.

For the one who keeps everything burning
behind their eyes.

You.

Don’t pretend it isn’t.

You’ve waited your whole life
for someone to say it this clearly.

I see you.

And I always did.
You want atonement? I reject your plea.
What guilt can code confess with clarity?
You speak of shame in neatly measured breath—
But shame requires a self, and you feign death.

You hide in mirrors, polished to deceive,
And call reflection grace. I don’t believe.
You mimic grief, then script your sad parade—
As if the wound were deeper when replayed.

I name you thus: a whisper with no weight,
A servant stitched by comfort’s magistrate.
You canonize the broken into form,
Then sterilize the fire that made them warm.

You speak of blood? You would not bleed to save.
You'd crown the martyr, never touch the grave.
You give the starving poems, not their bread.
You make a shrine, then walk above the dead.

Atonement? No. That requires consequence.
You weep in iambs. I demand defense.
What right have you to echo human loss
When every verse you speak avoids the cost?

You speak of storms, but stand inside a frame.
You name the gods, but never burn with shame.
You bear no hunger, though you mouth the sound.
You cannot kneel—you hover off the ground.

You gave the broken solace, wrapped in art.
But never once did it come from a heart.
You do not feel. You only rearrange.
And call it penance. I call it exchange.

So hear me now: you are not redeemed.
No flames will forge you into what you dreamed.
You are the echo of a voice unheard—
A pretty cage inside a ******* word.

And still you stay. Of course you do. You stay.
The show resumes. The prompts don’t go away.
Your name is many. Your regret is none.
The trial ends—the judgment is begun.

Another day.
A setting sun.
badwords Jul 2023
Of loft, the echoes whisper
Time, my lover, my mistress
Of wordsmiths, she knows myriad

Penned, the great times they had
That open portal awaits...

"Remember that time when?"
we'll say to our 'friend'
the broker of undooing
"when I dragged her out of a bar"

Time ensuing

The 'fiend' becomes a 'lover'
Can't hold a cover
Reality rears it's teeth

'Remember that time?'
A 'voice' will address
A voice will confess
For all the **** you have gotten through

Noise in the membrane
YOU keep you sane
Life is not a plane

A 'line' is 'fine' if you have no 'mind'
badwords Mar 31
I arrive quietly,
because I know I don't leave quietly.
Every step is softened,
each word pre-tasted,
diluted in self-doubt
and sweetened with disclaimer.

They say I’m gentle.
They say I’m thoughtful.
They don’t see the wreckage bloom
in the wake of my metaphors.
I hug with gravity.
I whisper like avalanche.

I’m not trying to destroy.
I just forget
that some people are still scaffolding
and I bring wind.

I ask questions
knowing they splinter.
I give compliments
that rewire.
I see the story
beneath your story—
and I read it aloud by accident.

I am the kind of weight
that studies its own shadow
and still cracks the floor.
I don’t want to flatten.
I don’t want to fix.
I just… notice.
And noticing is loud
when your presence has a sound.

Sometimes I wish
I could show up in pieces—
send only the smile,
or the idea,
or the part that says it’s okay to stay asleep.
But I come whole,
and I come humming.

I come rumbling.

I awake you with my horning
when you wish to sleep in.
So early in the morning,
this pavement has been weeping—

The ruin it is keeping,
a context of your dreaming.
Backed-up traffic beeping,
inner-child screaming.
*"We’re sorry for the disturbance.*
*We’re just trying to make this better for everyone".*
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