He's confined to a chair
his legs curve inward
his speech is a bit slow
and most of all- he is moody

He doesn't want me
he tells me so
when I try to hug him

He loves me though
I know in the silence of the night
we sit together
and I know his eyes search mine

He loves me
because he is always searching for a reason
why he shouldn't

but I can't change a thing
*I'm in love with him

You tap the lights three times
Because the world around you is dull
And dangerous
And cruel
And the number three is safe
And spontaneous
And comforting
But you look like an idiot tapping the lights three times
And washing your hand five times
And reciting numbers people can not hear clearly under your breath
And they look at you
Like the rare deformity
In the city zoo
Because things that are different
Don't fascinate people like they should
But they scare
And repel
And deflect others
And I can't help but feel alone in a world
Where the tide pushes against me
Trying it’s best to get me out of their vicinity
I don't mean to think over things that are dangerous and scary
And I don't mean to fall into a deep hole of endless sinking
But the words around me are groggy
And thick
Like fog
On a hot humid day
It’s so thick its feels like swimming in quicksand
But I don't know how to swim in quicksand
And the number one rule when caught in quicksand
Is to not panic
Because then you will drown
But no one tells me this when I need to hear it most
And I am the queen of panic
So I struggle
And fight
And flail
Only to fall to an endless doom of deep dark nothing
Where blood is thick like maple syrup
And people are as concealed as concrete
My insides turn into this consistency
Of dog **** and bleach
And it burns my throat
And makes me cry
As I choke on my thoughts
Because by the time I reached the pit of the quicksand
I begin to absorb it
And I then become
The things people call me
When they are most upset with me

I peruse your poems
and feel your love,
It awakens me.
I peruse your letters
and feel your hurts,
They shock me!

I peruse your heart
and sense your feelings,
They make me weak!
I peruse your mind
and find your emotions,
They turn me back.

I peruse your habit
and realize your treats,
They glamor me.
I peruse your works
and observe your arts,
They satisfy me.

I peruse your eyes
and see your kindness,
They're cool like the rain.
I peruse your smile
and see your pleasure,
They melt every chain.

I peruse your face
and enjoy your looks,
They make me wonder.
I peruse your beauties
and reverse like books,
They make me a writer.

I peruse your voice
and enjoy your melodies,
They call me silent.
I peruse your shyness
and touch your body
They call me to be silent.

Truly, your love is my drug
Your hurts are my tears,
Your happiness is my life,
So, I need you, sweetheart!

"What happened to you?"
You ask me when you come back. "You're so Different now."

You took my essence, my fire, and my soul when you left and you tried to place them into someone else, but they didn't fit. Now you stand before me, and you dare ask me what happened? How could you?

"Life." I simply answer. "I grew up."