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 Oct 2017 B Chapman
kgl
bed
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
kgl
bed
it used to be a landscape
where our souls would intertwine
but you left me, four whole months ago
and now both sides are mine
i found this on my notes. i started it a while ago, back in May, but had forgotten to finish it. but now it feels complete
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
Fred
Androphonos
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
Fred
I hurt you,
because I want you
to love me.
I desert you,
because I want to
be chased.
I know I cause you pain,
I want to be your love's teary stain.
And when your fever keeps you up at night,
let my skin be your strap to bite.
All these things I do,
really,
I want to hurt
for you.
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
Artistry
I followed you home yesterday
Right into your back door.
I went into your living room
Sat down on the floor.

I watched you do the dishes.
I stayed longer than I should.
You didn't invite me here
But if I had asked
I like to think you would.

I lounged on your couch
as you watched tv
I thought you'd notice
but you never saw me.

I pet your cat and laid on your bed
Put my head on your pillow
And listened to everything you said.

You never once looked at my face
I'm here everyday with you
And I never leave a trace.

I'm the sadness
you can't control.
I'm your companion
when life takes its toll.

Next time I come by
invite me in.
I'm coming in anyways
so don't fight it
You'll never win!
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
Lost Boy
I can't believe
I left you..
The only thing I'd ever loved
For someone else
Who couldn't compare to you.
She has the long hair
And the prettiest face
But no intellect
Nor any grace.
I miss how you would
Live in the moment.
Because all she does
Is post every second online.
I miss our late roof-top talks
Because all she ever does is whine.
I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
I miss your realness
And every inch of your beautiful body
Because now I'm with someone
Who's too shallow to feel love
All because
I was too scared to love you
front page 2/17/18
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
NINI
Mother me
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
NINI
too much anger
where does it come from
while i wish to see love and peace

i still have to raise my children
the mother me is crying with them
is there anybody out there
a lack of someone being there for me
my friends, my own family
don't leave me here so lonely

but why should i feel like this all the time
wishing someone could gimme a sign
when it won't ever happen anyway

now my body tells me to stop the flow of anger
no more devils, inside of me
to avoid a room with broken furniture
i'll tell them how i want it, but i'll take it easy
(for i don't give a ****)
i'll think over my feelings, i'll feel my feelings
(for these belong to me)
i'll be my happy, but i won't become needy
(for i deserve a life to live)

because i don't need you
won't even need my mom
for i'll be my own, i be me

embrace the cries
 Oct 2017 B Chapman
cassie marie
Because of social media I've learned I am not good enough

Because of social media I've learned my best isn't truly my best

Because of social media I've learned that if I don't look a certain way, I will be shamed

Because of social media I feel obligated to wear makeup

Because of social media I've learned to hate myself
No girl or boy should have to hate them selves because of the double standards we have today. Everyone should feel the way they wanna feel, and they can look how ever they want.
"Who writes poems like these?"

She, Miss Patty,
from Missouree? Missouruh?
asks me this question
round about a year ago,
after eavesdropping on an open poem line,
about a conversation,
a dialectic chat between me and the big guy in the sky^

(yeah, him, the magic marker Maker, who graffitis our lives only in
ink that just never goes away, cannot be erased,
talkin' bout this 'n that, ending, in a request from him for a
love poem personal (denied, fyi))

my answer:

come, sit for awhile, in poet's nook, upon soft pillows for our
tired sighs born in chests with a different kind
of breast cancer.
and upon these tough worn Adirondack chairs hard,
by the bay, we shall coverse in alternating verses

if too hot, the poetry's temperature.
we'll slow drift to the sun room of lace curtains and
heated suicide poems,
and after cool drinks
we'll observe the water, the rabbits, the cacophony low
of all the noisier creatures asking the trees and the
shuckling cappuccino frothy leaves
where did all those poets come from?
~
so to the question at hand and heart,

Who writes poems like these?

answers scarce, confessions plenty,
evasions conjured,
but tried, tired, and true, indeed
always ask myself, my sole troop,
that very same question every time,
the brain chimes poem time

'tis a truth, sort of, for the question is
asked by me, so oft,
should I, would I,
dare deflect the inflect of the eyes who cannot lie
and write a poem like this,
knowing it ends always only in tears,
or quit while ahead,
while my heart is slow beating,
and the pounding is temporarily,
halftime shelved

when
I ride the bus, open the kitbag,
find messages so privy
with and from the other poets,
(it is a privilege to be so councillor entrusted,)
picking up the gleaming gleanings of
fellow earth-extraordinaires,
reading the tales of the mad lunar lovers,
each of whom believe the moon has been following
only, each of them individually,
from childhood

when
exercising the muscle memories of love and ache
when watching the little gestures of my babies, my loved ones,
clues to who they are,
clues to who they will be.
after I am not

but let me be measured for measure by this:
Who writes poems like these?

well, after every writ complete,
weep and weep, if not laugh uproariously,
for though the question earnest, and I too,
never ever let adulthood interfere
with actions of my eyes, my mouth, my gut,
they all, masters now of me,
forcing me to write with abandon reckless and yet,
slicing off choicer cuts of me, carefully crafted, into
word etchings, painted water colors coming from the body's oils,
for my ration of rationality
has left town
for the summer, following the little drummer
boy,
perhaps, for the (double meaning) good

this each, a parcel of me, writing beguiling amuse bouches
of cache and cant, of poodles who speak human,
long legs in bed, high heels attached, conversations with moons,
crying to my lovers, I am a little boy, so needy,
and then the left foot turns to face
any and all gods who permit their names to be abused
for muddying murdering purposes,
as if we, all humans, all poets, were playthings,
bowling pins and not poets of some, any, the, way,
coming from the place
to where we all speak words, in our differing dialects,
accepting the blessings & curses thereof,
words but never fists

have I answered the question?

suspect not,
cause I am the suspect prime
in the crime
of low poetry
and high mis-demeanors,
and the authorities have been asking me the question for a lot longer than you, but no longer than one peculiar man,
Who writes poems like these?*
and they haven't caught me yet
and I haven't quite caught
the plain answer
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