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aviisevil Mar 2019
wake, i'm waiting in my sleep
hate me if you have to,

here have two,
take this and blind me,
and tell me so-

do you still love me ?
love me in everyway i need you to
i need you to fill me,

blue and through, me and you
confused by the passing afterthought

i'm going back and forth
glancing at the hands of the clock
why don't you fall into my arms
and make the tick tock go away

we can sit and talk
about life and so much more
all you have to do is be here

and all you have to do
is hear me sing your name

so come before i wake
and the poison leaves my veins

run to me before the sun
swallows my hate for you

and these hollow words
paint us into a new story

that a billion years from now
won't even matter

the forever we promised
broken into pieces
that no one will ever gather

what does it take
for the dreams to be strung together ?
such that they never break
no matter how many times we do


and such is the weather
the sky grey and the winds with blues
how much of mind does one need
to feel better ?

when it's never going to be your day ?


for the heart's been broken
since the day we said our good-byes

and we're all just drops in an ocean
watching the land drift away beneath
our feet,

away from our eyes-
and all the hunger we seek,

so just a moment more
i need to find you in my head

just a moment more
and then we'll all be dead

and i can go back to sleep

©writeweird
**** it.
351 · Dec 2015
a love story
aviisevil Dec 2015
it is ironic how the same people who preach about love are the ones who turn out to be monsters in the end,
to divide and rule along the lines my friend.
perhaps, it is only a tale of human suffering and nothing more;
everyone and everything suffers.
time itself will wither mountains and the Sun.
mere mortal elements of an immortal soul will bring down an empire;
the seed will grow into another fire.
lurking beyond the shadows are creatures of the dark;
spanning the barren lands consumed by the poison
and the dear ones near and far.
machines breathing ash and fire screech through the walls,
the rain falls and yet, the colour doesn't fades away,
the world is grey and has been from the age of dawn,
for everything born is evil;
and only a mother shall ever mourn.
children will devour the gods to fulfill their fantasy,
the power will bleed into the wounds of the ones gone and ugly.
pharaohs will guide the leash and unleash the thunder;
on one and for all.
the sky will fall and the sea shall rise, the ones who preach about love always pay the price.
nothing is without gravity in this world;
young and old both shall die,
it is ironic how nothing will ever matter even though love never dies.
it only kills.
349 · Oct 2018
no head for memory
aviisevil Oct 2018
this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and this is my december
this is my deep slumber
and this is
the only way i know how to be free

this is my memory
and there is
nothing you can take
from i

this is my city
and this is
where they all come to die

these are my blessings
mixing with my sins

i made this leash
and now it makes me want to
sleep forever


and i'll give it all away
i'll give it all to you
just to see how you'll look

and i'll sell it all away
all of me - in red and blues
just to free me from what you took

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

and i'll give it all away
just to have a place to be


and if you find me someday
don't disappear as soon
as i count to three

and this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be


and i'll give it all away
to find a way far from here

and i'll live it all the way
until you find me there
cutting myself open so i can see


and this is our december,
but i know you don't know how
to feel no more,

this is my thunder
and i'm drowning far too under
the blankets to feed

this is what i remember
and this is
how it will be

until i leave

and this is what i remember
this is what i breathe,
how it all will be.

this is what i remember
349 · Feb 2014
PARANOID
aviisevil Feb 2014
Time stands still as the approaching footsteps cut through the quietness  
She stands in the corner ,  her every part now drenched in darkness

Every thought that crosses her mind is now decayed and rotten
Every door that stands between 'her' and 'them' is now broken

She can even hear them whisper but the words are lost over her heart beat
How could she be so careless , she knew better to not fall asleep

She knows they want her and they're just waiting for the right time
Nobody else can see them but she knows its not just in her mind

She knows better to not trust anyone , everyone else is blind
They took them all away , anyone that left her behind

She waits now , silently , for them to come near and show their face
She's changed now , slowly , in the mirror there's a smile on her face







__


"i think someone is watching over us"
-no there's no one in the room love
"i can feel them lurking in the shadow"
-i don't think so, every door is shut
" i had a bad dream last night"
-did you take your pills on time?
"i couldn't see their faces in moonlight"
-don't worry , everything's 'gonna be fine
"and the front door was left open"
-was that a part of your dream too?
"every picture frame was broken"
-are you sure , it wasn't you ?
"i know it wasn't just a dream"
-but there's no broken frame anywhere
"I'm sure of what I've seen "
-there must be something some where
"i know you don't believe me"
-i want to but i know its all in your mind
"i know they can see me"
-but there's 'gotta be some sign
"its right there but you can't see"
-I've to leave I'm running late
"you know , we can never be free"
-have to increase the dose you take
"so you're 'gonna leave me alone"
-there's no one here , it'll be alright
"I'm so scared of the unknown"
-I'll be back before the night
"don't leave me , they'll **** me"
-stop being so paranoid
"come here , be with me "
-hush now , just be quite


__


"they came for me last night"
-I'm sorry i had to stay back
"are you even listening to me"
-i think you've gone mad
"please, believe me , all i say is true"
-i can't live in these lies
"oh , now they want you too"
-what's happening to your eyes?
"i can't let them have you"
-oh , just stop it NOW
"you love me , don't you?"
-I'm not really sure now
"i thought you will trust me"
-i tried but it's now out of control
"please, be with me  , help me"
- you know what , I'm not sure
"I'm so scared , don't leave"
-you're just  insane
"so you don't believe"
- can't play your games
"i can't let you go"
-stop being a freak
"there's too much you know"
-yeah I'll tell them all that you're a freak
" come , i want to show you something"
-no,i really don't want to see
"for the last time "

".....than you can leave"



___


"do you like my new friend?"
-STAY AWAY FROM ME
"see how sharp it is at the end "
-DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME
"i can let you go , its not safe"
-PLEASE...i'm sorry...just let me go  
"don't worry , have faith"
-they'll know it was you , THEY'LL KNOW!
"I don't care , i'm doing this for you"
-PLEASE, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
"I cant let them feed on you too"
-we'll run away , somewhere new
"oh , do you think they won't find us?"
-PLEASE, I'm so scared
"nothing will ever be enough"
- DONT COME NEAR , don't you dare
"and what is that you will do,if I do?"
-I don't know, just don't
"I can't let them take away you too"
-PLEASE, I WON'T
"they'll never have you , you're mine"
-PLEASE, PUT IT DOWN
"they're coming, don't have much time"
-are you 'gonna **** me now ?



-i know , you're 'gonna **** me


"stop being so paranoid "



-GET AWAY FROM ME



"hush now , be quite".
Notes (optional)
349 · Apr 2018
wrong metamorphosis
aviisevil Apr 2018
i have no friends,
and that's not the sad part

i'm going to be alone
in the end,

walking home with no heart
filled with aliens and scars-
but that'll suffice;

there are stars in the sky
and that'll be enough
to keep me going,

as i look at the world
differently, now that i am;
apparently insane
temporarily in pain

momentarily in silence,
as the violence takes over
my infinite soul;

i count to three
and then it's four,

and then i rain,

the moment breaks
for somebody to open the door

and,
i have to go back in again
to let it all out,

and all i do is scream
and shout,

painting the walls with
my voice,
and inking the hollow
in my veins,

breeding calculations,
and bleeding my sane;

feeding hungry air
with what remains of me


reaching for the paint
so i can be a colorful ghost
when they see me howling,
at my gates,
through that one window
i could never break,

and i see,

between smiles and saints,
the miles, and the slain,
sitting by the fences
wearing a morning scent-

a night i couldn't wake
from.
what would you tell a Robot in love ?
348 · Sep 2014
Forgotten
aviisevil Sep 2014
I see the world--
from the lies of my eyes,
Where the wind blows,
In the winter where I cry.
Take me to my home ,
Put me in a grave where I'll die.
I hear the song,
Of the lonely bird in the sky.
In the hue of the blue,
One vast ocean where it hides.
A place for me to mourn,
And plead them my good-bye.
Those faces that I can't recall,
A crowd that once let me in.
I stole all the love I wanted,
And exchanged heart for my skin.
That moment never lets go
And it is eating me from within,
Find me a place to bleed,
And wash away my every sin.
Every ghost that I once made,
Is now reaching for my heart.
And this truth won't ever fade,
As it slowly tears me apart.
That empty street where I walked,
Has took me so much afar.
I never counted my steps,
And now I am on a different path.
Consuming what is left,
Shattered pieces of a broken glass.
A shadow that reflects,
I am blind to myself at last.
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Dec 2022

i don't know my favourite
colour or the greatest film
i've seen

i know very little about
this world

i know even less about
everything

everyday i wake up and
write some of it down

and i watch the same
people do the same things
over and over

that's all they
know

and when they ask me
what my favourite colour
is

i lie and i tell them that i
enjoy all colours

that my favourite film
is a Clockwork Orange by
Stanley Kubrick

that i read books and
how politicians are ruining
the society

i want them to say
you're so great avi you
know so much about the
world

i want them to see
more of me so i see
less of them

and more they
see of me the less i
care

for i know they have
a favourite colour

i know they know
lyrics to their favourite
songs

and they've seen a
movie ten times and
remember all of it

how bored i am
of their constant
knowing

their constant
listening

there's no scarcity
of men and women who
think they know things

but have so little
to say

it's better to not
know than be bright
and boring

better to be
miserable and not laugh
than to be so mechanical
and submissive

most people are
not free

because they know
too much

at some point knowing
becomes a permanent
burden

too heavy for any
evolution to repair

that's when you
stop to live and start
to die

and i don't want
to die just yet

and i don't want to
be mundane

i don't want the
answers or want to know
my favourite colour

i simply don't want to
be boring.


.
aviisevil Jan 2017
puddle of memories
childhood rain
come again
i can't remember the names
of those
i should've forgotten
a long time ago

them ghosts
and tales of dread
keep whispering the dead
and I'm afraid
i've been made  
a wrong time ago

this place at this time
reminds me of things
i still don't know about
and i see nothing
though i was never blind
i could never see
what they had to show

it builds up slow
to break me down
my condition to wither
guess i was never meant
to linger
around the dancing clown
and laugh
when he tells a joke

breathing the last of air
my share is complete
and I am
completely incomplete
without a story
i can barely
swing without a tale


i'm so sorry
for words that fail
whenever I try to speak
i guess I'm only relieved
that you never have to
see me ever again

remember my name
that was all I ever was.
347 · Apr 2024
castle at the cemetery gate
aviisevil Apr 2024

see through me
into the black night

cut out your heart
feed it to the light

no more shall it pain
without purpose

step into the dusk
spiral into the circle

fall with me into
this solemn dream

when we're asleep
and do not scream

preyed upon by their
words and schemes

in silence of a funeral
begging to be seen

bless'd upon by
the morbid pyre

you glow in dark
of your desires

weary mind of the
eyes that are tired

now buried in ruins
of a desolate empire


346 · Sep 2018
casablanca minds
aviisevil Sep 2018
so many things playing
in my mind

some with fire and
some with stones

some with ice and
some with desires


some same and the strange
some with twice the price
and some with things strange
in love with the throne

maybe i've lost all that i have known
maybe i don't like the nice world
it hurts and i contemplate

i try to weave it in into words
and navigate my way

say it in two words or less
or they're gonna' lose what they
cannot comprehend or barricade

i wish i could learn how
to use them bullets and not
hesitate when it precipitates

the heat is too much
and the world's going dark

help me find somebody to love;
i don't mind the bodies until they
burn, find me somebody to participate

in my own disintegration
degradation into my sworn filth

the worms swarm into my veins
and atop the blue cascading hills

my mind is casablanca
there are torn castles and
the ruins of a queens thrill


there are screams and more
screams and more screams
and they dream and they scream
more screams and the dream
is broken.

my eyes are open

and there's a man
staring down at me

three in the morning.

and there's not a mirage
in this room, with this gloom.

here comes the doom.

boom. blossom. monsoon.
the sun. moon. and the stars.

scars and hours.

through the ever glow till
the ever last,

planets near and far,
a cosmos far too blind.

oh, of all the things playing
in my mind.
we all have a circus to our citrus.
346 · Feb 2017
Can you make it stop ?
aviisevil Feb 2017
how do you say sorry
when you're so out of breath ?

I'm talking insane again
am I not ?

can you make it stop
before it leaves me dead ?

these words those
don't mean anything

and I've kept them so close
as if they mean everything

there's nothing here for me
I keep scribbling in my dreams

I see the mirror shivering
but I don't hear no screams

they say I need magic
or there'll be nothing left

isn't it tragic
how slowly the world forgets

how we become
someone else

pretending we're the same
and we'll never be strange

fearful of change
and mindful of things plain

we need the beautiful
or we'll be stuck sane

with nothing to blame
and nothing to gain

there'll be nothing to lose
a sight always on mute

who would crave a world
so placid ?

where there'll be no science
to explain the silence of acid

that vile thought that keeps
repeating itself

there'll be nothing to sell
for there'll be no one interested
to buy

the lies
or the blue sky

roses painted red
a thought stuck inside a head

I'm speaking ill again
am I not ?

can you make it stop
before it leaves me dead ?

but I have my reason
nobody reads me

and I'm stuck in this season
wasting my autumn

for something more pleasant
that i have now forgotten

What can I convey ?

I'm just a peasant
but this hearts serves a king

a madness that is decent
as I descent deep within

tearing my own skin
making smoke rings
out of thin air

I'm aware
as much i think one can be

when they're about
to disappear

so disappointed that
man in the sky wasn't here

I think I'll rather
cry myself to sleep again

than say a prayer

it's not fair
how one thought leads
to so many

in a head that is empty
they echo like anything

I'd rather have the silence
if I could have any

than being just star dust
dancing in violence

I'll sell you the bank
for a penny

just take away these keys
please, I beg

I'm not making sense
am I not ?

can you make it stop
before it leaves me dead ?
345 · Oct 2017
There's no glass
aviisevil Oct 2017
tell me, how do you sleep ?
in your nightmares,
trying to chase you
to the further corner of your mind-
do you mind the intrusion ?
of those things alien
forming the rain and laughter
faces burnt and stranger
than anything you've ever seen.

tell me, how do you dream ?
when the clowns with evil smile
and God's in different names-
count your pain,
and you finally realise
the lies you've made in-to yourself.

tell me, how can you tell ?
it's only in the mirror,
your eyes and whispers
thoughts those wither
now that you're a drunk again.

tell me, if it's not insane,
to languish in the same memory
day after day,
knowing that time stops for no one.

there's a new sun,
everyday for one to harvest.

the moon sets everyday too,
but everybody's asleep
waiting for the star dust-
to make them their idols
so that when they sit idle,
it's not that lonely, and they're not
the only one there.

tell me, do you still care ?
aviisevil Mar 2014
You stand alone waiting for someone
Heart in your arms and tear in your eyes
Fairytales taught you that he's the one
But the sun is up and sky is clearing of the lies

I too sing with a broken heart
So let me show you that you're not alone
We walk upon the same road
With the touch of love in our every bone

You can bury it all with just a smile and deny
But I can see it hidden deep inside your eyes
The time is up and everyone's gone with sunrise
And I know somewhere inside you've realised


That he is never coming to get you
Oh baby, will you still carry that heart of stone
He was never the one meant for you
Oh baby, I know you feel more than just alone





Childhood dreams and the plastic ring
Oh those were the times when we were in a fairytale
Now just let this broken old heart sing
I know the magic in the air is gone now that you're awake




I know your folks never did accept
For you to be involved with a married man
But they never knew you were in love
And you never tried to make them understand

You wanted to be his lady in white
And he always told you to wait for him some more
You waited for him all these years
And one day he told you he didn't love you anymore


As you walk upon the broken glass
It still hurts you more in that bleeding heart
You think you can still walk away
But baby you will never ever reach that far

Oh, tell me more about this pretty love
All i've known is somebody always gets hurt
For some a blessing, for some a curse
And I can hear this echo around the world




Childhood dreams and the plastic ring
Oh, those were the times when we were in a fairytale
Now just let this broken old heart sing
I know the magic in the air is gone now that you're awake




Oh tell me, now you tell my pain  
All you happy folks of the love struck town
Does the shine always remain  
Or in the end everyone has to step down

Does the winds push you back
Whenever you let go of that one loving hand
Do the scars still howl at you
In the hurt of the world where you now stand

I know what they say about this love
It's only beautiful till the dreamy night it lasts  
Even when the sky is cleared of smoke
You keep on believing lies in the depth of your heart

Oh, tell me more about this pretty love
All i've known is somebody always gets hurt
For some a blessing, for some a curse
And I can hear this echo around the world




Childhood dreams and the plastic ring
Oh, those were the times when we were in a fairytale
Now just let this broken old heart sing
I know the magic in the air is gone now that you're awake
Notes (optional)
341 · Nov 2014
propaganda slaves
aviisevil Nov 2014
In this dark and demoralising time
Herds of sheep walk along in a line
Deaf and numb reeling in despair
Look at the pawn shops , they've sold their minds
Instead buying a propaganda of lies
Too blind to see , too dumb to realise
They are the Soldiers of faith
The army of hypocrite eyes
And they march on , left and right
Straight to the moon
In the shadows they hide , as they walk to the doom
Puppets in the hands of the lords
Rage and fury are the new gods
As they open their infant mouth in their names
As they bestow their misguided enlightenment
To be a part of this game
They are filled with words and a thousand sentences
They feed on the present and forget the consequences
And leave their caves only in the time of unification
A part madness , a part hallucinations
And they march on and oh they march on
The soldiers of fate , the army of hypocrite eyes
Straight for the moon
And not even one stands up to steer them of the inevitable doom...
Notes (optional)
339 · Nov 2015
not a word
aviisevil Nov 2015
do tears still soak the bed
as demons whisper inside your head
do you feel lonely?
when the world is dark and cold
and there's nobody to hold you
as the moon grows old
does the empty space remind
the reasons you sat crying
can you not hear me
now that I am sick and dying
do you still remember my voice
now when tears don't make a noise
as I fade into the void
Bearing your silence
For us, forever.
339 · Dec 2015
walking dead
aviisevil Dec 2015
when hell is above and sky is down
the rain suffocates and it drowns
I can't feel my feet
can't feel my heart
and I don't remember if i'll ever be found
I break apart
when silence makes a sound
for in this hollow
there's not a soul
nor a ghost around
there is nobody to be found
I know I'm chained and bound
to my fears and to my scars
who we are
what we were
how we will be
that's never going to count
'cause all we'll ever have
is walking dead
we're already dead
wearing a frown
We just don't know it yet
339 · Feb 2016
Fire.
aviisevil Feb 2016
I wish I was never cold
not blue that my eyes were sore
infected with words and more
with every bite a tear is sold
wailing in circles
about a scar never told
I am standing in this vastness
with my own sorrows
young and old
when eyes draw laughter
from the smile my face stole
I don't think anymore
there is no happy ending after
since I've been stuck here
in emptiness that grows
all across this world I live
in places I never saw
with everything beautiful
and ones with their flaws
withering in this winter
far from the summers gold
when old tales are the law
no one can silence their blindfold
I wish I wasn't so cold
but then
sunshine would eclipse the dark
I would see them
in the dark of my heart
comfortable
and I will burn
339 · Dec 2015
here without you
aviisevil Dec 2015
you were the one
now you are just someone
you were the one I was waiting for
now I've given up trying
and I know that you don't mind
maybe it's time for me to let you go
but I don't know if I can
there's a lot I don't understand
what were you waiting for
there's nothing but this hurt
you weren't even in love
and I can't take it anymore

so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you



you were there
now you have disappeared
and I can't see through this smoke
I wonder if I cared
when you were still here
now every thought pains and choke
I loved you so much
now I know there is no thing as such
I guess you must have always known
there's nothing left to say
you don't have to stay
I know how it feels to be left so alone


so that's what you get
only regrets
you should have kept your Promise
but you let it through

I hope I forget
every trace of your scent
I am descending in madness
here without you
so in love with you
337 · Feb 2016
while my eyes were raining
aviisevil Feb 2016
I remember watching you slowly walk away,
with a million voices I begged you to stay;
with a thousand tears I wished for your return,
yet you kept walking on
everything left behind was consumed and burned.

my heart was ripped apart while I was still breathing,
you never felt the pain I was keeping,
I remember you smile while you whispered me my scars,
you never looked back;
I saw you walk away and far.

I remember knowing you were lying in arms of his,
I stayed awake all night fighting the demon's poisoned kiss,
I was withering without any colour or flavor to suffice;
you turned blue then,
as cold as ice.


you left me questioning my sanity and what comes after,
all night long the silence kept lingering with your laughter,
oh I loved you still then and I know it wasn't meant to be,
while my eyes were raining,
in his eyes what did you see.


you were gone and there was nothing I could do about it,
I kept fighting the air but that's about it;
you left me with monsters and beasts I could never tame;
you Promised me your all and yet,
you left me once again.

I remember screaming because you were stuck inside my head,
I remember how my bones hurt with every morbid breath,
I was locked inside a cage you made with your flaws;
where were you then,
when I was destroying my all.

I remember feeding myself lies to numb my soul,
I remember waking in cold nights as black as coal,
and without a noise you found your way back;
but I was gone, oh I was gone;
for while my eyes where raining,
I saw the sun like you never have.
337 · Aug 2015
lost & bred
aviisevil Aug 2015
they **** me in my dreams when I am weak
I keep myself from falling so I never fall asleep
so many monsters, that one ugly scar can breed
no sin more potent than this love can teach

**** me before I turn
wake me before I become
tell me before I burn
will she come if i reach


the tears of rotting angel have forgiven no one yet
I hear strange voices and stranger visions in my head
is it all because I've let myself someday forget
that dead people have never said a word to death


**** me before I turn
wake me before I become
tell me before I burn
will she come if i bleed


I have seen it all become ash and dust before
wish I could just eat myself and build a door
bleed over my guilt, and don't be who I am anymore
leave myself behind, to be now free ever more


**** me before I turn
wake me before I become
tell me before I burn
will she come if i leave
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Aug 2016
I'm not wise,
and as soon as I start writing this
I'll be at loss for words.
something beyond me will always hurt,
but I don't have to bother much,
only a touch
and all will be forgotten.

for the rotten, and my name.
I've gone insane,
repeating the same mistakes,
expecting the world to change.
it's so strange,
how the mirror never changes
its reflection.

I know I'm crazy,
that's not the point I'm trying to make.
it's not about how much there is,
for me, there's no affection,
towards the unfortunate.

my soul will burn
and my trace will fade
another page shall be turned
as soon as the previous is erased.

I've longed for separation,
rejection,
and all the beautiful things inbetween.

perhaps I'm obsessed,
for my well being,
what heart,
when I'm not even willing to be a human being.

they ****, they cry and have tears.

broken things left to wander in the darkness of their own design,
I resigned,
a long time back,
before I could have any hope to find,
the fairytale I was looking for.





broken things by a lonely night,
they speak so much.
334 · Oct 2015
paradise parasite
aviisevil Oct 2015
beyond the golden mist in the sky
through those souls dark and white
drifting in the unknown
bleeding tears in the night
through the dawn
as a mother sleeps again
till the red rock kisses the hollowness
making the flowers bloom
there's a light in this emptiness
full of noise in this gloom
a lonely home in the infinite darkness
where the children play
young and old
here the corpses lay
no tongue and cold
born, burnt and sold
brothers and sisters
enemy and the friend
in those whispers
hearing about the end
and mother weeps silently
as the sky sheds golden tears
what gods do they pray to
when there is nothing out there
and everything here
is withering
Notes (optional)
334 · Nov 2021
Charlie Kaufman
aviisevil Nov 2021
somedays i'm more scared
than       the  others

more susceptible to the
diseases of the mind

that lay their bare hands
on my chest and
                     weave it down

hammer on the uncertainty
of the coming morning

meld the steel that dangles
from the ceiling

waiting to pounce at any
suffocating moment of
                          failure and dread

in the dead of the night
when the sun awakens

and ever so suddenly
the moon burst into flames

have all the stars fall in a
fiery ball of madness

circling the streets sniffing
at the despair of the
                            crying children

perching on the threads of
looming crisis of faith and
                            all things miserable

the melancholy of which is
lost on the swaying trees and
                           the singing birds

that is all over the news in
small fine print

while an angry man on the TV screams at people for not paying attention

over and over
again and again; until
it is time for the magic
of make belief:

only if magic was a real thing
so many things would have been
possible

the kind that lives in your
head and prospers in your mind

the kind Charlie Kaufman
knows about.
333 · Oct 2014
the barren sky
aviisevil Oct 2014
Silent memories,
Moments - seasons untold.
Burned thoughts and diaries,
Torment - reasons unfold.
Unspoken remembrance,
An essence-
Forgotten in span of time.
Invincible resistance,
Of all those reasons-
That were once left behind.
How come they never remind,
Of the path we sought-
And we could never find.
Fumes of burned morrow,
Scarring us in our yesterday-
Made us blind.
Of all those wounds-
Some that will never heal,
Where the only ones that did bind.
In depths a story hides,
Where the words lie.
In dark of our conscience,
Invisible to the naked eye.
Whence the whispers howl,
A corpse comes back to life.
Happy days and lonely nights
- speaks of serenity and strife.
In a loop of unbreakable visions,
That haunts every inch of a heart.
To be remembered for the last time
And then again,
Before it slowly falls apart-
And is made once again,
In a different name-
But the same story,
That will never change.
Spring makes way for the winter,
As them past years wither.
Weathered upon by the bleeding-
Voices and a feeling so strange.
In this barren land,
How come it never rained-
Though the dark clouds,
Have always been all across the sky.
Notes (optional)
332 · Nov 2014
we're different
aviisevil Nov 2014
I'm not perfect
but I'm true
we're not the same
I'm not you
when i look in the mirror
its not you who i see
there's no choice
we cant be who we wish to be
everyone's got something
others can never have
everyone's got a different story
when you look back

we 're different
and so is everyone else
each of us a different icicle
and it never melts.
Notes (optional)
332 · May 2018
Circling Pluto
aviisevil May 2018
not everybody dreams about the sky,
some dream about the deepest
depths of an ocean.

sure you can wake up everyday
for the rest of your life before you die,
but you have to die, and that deal
cannot be broken.

it's upto you, so you decide,
don't leave it up to fate or fancy
unreasonable emotions,

there's so much to this world,
now that you are here, everywhere,
out in the open.
331 · Aug 2015
off-topic debacles
aviisevil Aug 2015
I saw a revolution in the sky
someone said it was all a lie
there is something wrong in my eyes
he hopes I die, I think..
I think I saw him cry too
but would something like this
Happen to maybe, you
are you still confused between
what is going on around you
and if this world really is just a dream
when the sky isn't so blue
now why don't you all
gather behind in line like slaves
cave in to the depths of greed and sin
tumble down the pile we all have made
washing our hands with so many grins
whilst silence whispers of those
who were wise enough to let us in
down on the path of weak and brave
till we ate all their hearts from within

there is only one who can stand atop
and all must feed down from him
there is no stick, curse or a rock
that can reach his mighty wings
only his own journey back to civilization
another melancholic song for a mad nation

thumping their green against the barren sky
wearing the world that has been broken and taken
its clouds and rivers swallowed by the howling smoke
for some colours so many rainbows had to die
painted in white and black all across the border
you can hear a lonely mother cry
in the middle where the old tangled veins choke
the mercy of a poison, painting blunders far and wide
the old burnt banner in the middle of dying corpses spells hope

it has been raining blood since that late night
Notes (optional)
330 · Nov 2014
An eye for a heart
aviisevil Nov 2014
I sat ever so silently,
Not a whisper escaping my soul.
What's true-
Might not always be reality,
Nothing is ever built whole.
I watched the birds fly,
All across the deep azure-
Of the sky,
Circling in depth of my eyes-
And then I realized,
I was staring at an ocean.
Notes (optional)
330 · Jul 2017
Hello, how low ?
aviisevil Jul 2017
my head is too light

         lights are too bright
         bright is the night
        
         somebody hold me
         tight
        
         for i know i'll wake up
         sad tomorrow







        
         no matter how much
         i hide,
         it follows;
        
         always by my-side
         somewhere back
         in my mind
        
         somewhere here
         black in my time
         even when
         i'm feeling fine

         stopping the world
         from reaching me

         there's no reasoning
         no season in
         when you're stuck in
         this place

         mesmerised by a face
         or stuck in a maze
         nor dead or amazed

         begging for a moment
         silent and kind

         away from this
         endless emptiness,
         and eyes blind
        
         there's so much violence
         that i cannot find,
        
         my voice in this noise
         of nothingness,
        
         that's brings me every
         night
         some circus of sorrow,
         and pain

         somebody hold me
         tight
        
         for i know i'll wake up
         sad tomorrow,
         again.
Depression is not fun.
330 · Jul 2014
Hush, little child. Dream.
aviisevil Jul 2014
Hush, little child
Put your head down and sleep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.

Hush, little child
Put your head down and weep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.



Let them make a fool out of us,
Strangle us, hurt us,
Tell us it's all in the name of love,
All in the name of their god
Let them silence us, enslave us,
Tell us they are our lords
And make us, to break us,
Into the hollow of our ground
Push us back till the edge,
Till we scatter and break down
No more will we scream our names,
But a deathly song of dread and cold
Lured into their empty steel cage,
Prisoned in the depth of our soul,
No more will we tread the weather,
Afraid of the storm and the rain
There shall be no more respite,
As we fall in an abyss all over again
Falling apart in every breath,
Too brittle to carry our own scars
Across this ocean of hurt and despair,
We've trapped our own hearts
For them to rule us all,
To be the kings and queens of us
And create us our world,
With their every touch
Empty vessels to fill with fear,
A pet in need of a monster
To be led straight into a pit
We'll never be our own masters,
For we blind fold ourselves
To hide from the world within,
Take the blade and kiss it
And Make our tears on our skin
To remind us who we are,
What we are, to them and the world
To feel like the king himself,
To find ourselves in gems and pearls
And breed our fears and pain,
To be swept off our feet in chains
Hanging by a noose,
To bleed till everything drains
And be empty of our conscience,
Our thoughts will never be our own
No matter how far we may run,
Our steps will forever be alone
But they will always lead us,
To find ourselves
Far away in the wonderland,
We'll make our home.




Hush, little child
Put your head down and sleep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.

Hush, little child
Put your head down and weep
As i watch you dream,
As i hear you dream.
Bla bla and bla
329 · Jun 2015
disappearing
aviisevil Jun 2015
i wouldn't know where to begin, or how to end,
all I have are words, of pain and love to seed.
i am my own master, slave, enemy and friend,
in my hurt, I have more tears than I can bleed.
would you be my friend ?
so I can cry
because I've been withering for a long time
there've been so many lies
and I have forgotten which were mine
there's nothing in coming morrow
yesterdays make my heart sick
and when I do try to remember
i don't have any memory to begin with
everything fades as it is born
burning into ashes
as black as my heart
full of scars
and walls
slowly falling apart
I'm rotting
I am rotten
who the **** am I ?
have I really forgotten?
can someone find me someday
or have I gone too far
i watch the sand in the glass
grain by grain
and hour by hour
waiting for the day to end
so I can be lost
beneath the stars
and not even my shadow
can find me
in this hollow
i can't even see me
all I feel are the tears
and before dawn
they'll too disappear
This world isn't for all of us
aviisevil Feb 2017
gathering words to burn
when I have nothing to say
Is it already my turn in sun ?
to shine like a desert far away..

find me an oasis
so I can burn it to the ground
I'm tired of voices
telling me about what's all around

they make me full of noise
all those eyes that feel my pain
and I feel so naked in the ruins
like a star looking for fame again

put me in a frame and forget me
there's only silence in a sound mind
I'm thirsty for an ocean once again
so much to drink when I look behind

let me swallow this world for you
let me be the bad they talk about
I've been here with nothing new
something you said is full of doubt..

and I don't have any answers
if you've been looking through the trash
I have only blood in my poisoned veins
and it'll only cost you your soul to cash

i know you feel I'm so empty
kept clean of your science and that God
somewhere in between you will find
that without a leash it's easy to get lost



and you've never been in a home with no walls
where rotten insects infect your imperfect mind..

every day is like finding yourself with no skin, nothing at all,
only an empty screen to remind why the unworthy world is dying

so drink with me and share with me what you've kept inside

the monsters you've bred and that feeling within not yet ready to die

open them for me, your eyes and every scar stretched wide,

let's make a road out from this hell, to a place with blue sky..

because there's no room here for the both of us,
one of us is surely another lie

and I'm not looking into a broken mirror to decide,
it always whispers to me that i can fly

and I don't want to try and fall off from the sky


I'm finally finding myself comfortable hidden in all of these files,
now tomorrow fails to exist and how the time flies

like a fly learning to fly,
i've been wrapped in a circle that has an endless reason to pry

you don't understand me and that's alright,

you don't see what I taste every night while you're asleep

counting the sheep before slaughtering them for a frozen good-bye

in a calm voice

don't put me to sleep yet
I'm still counting everything I was told to avoid,


It'll only probably take a moment and I want to cry,

cry myself to a parallel void.
328 · Nov 2020
in her sleepy frost
aviisevil Nov 2020
.




dreaming,

she sits by the cogs, turning
fog into mist

in midst of an autumn, caught in
arms of abyss,

in her sleepy frost, where her
winter sits,

where her wilderness clots
in melancholic conflict

hung by the clocks, and rocks,
in bones, and sticks,

an ocean's worth of rot, no
mortal can sip,

in her drowsy gaze, in her
dreamy drift;

she sits in her loss,
lost in her solemn bliss,

screaming.






.
I was sad. so, here's something sad.
328 · Feb 2014
hey you (hurt)
aviisevil Feb 2014
Hey you, keep looking but I won't say a word
For you , i'll open up and you can see all the hurt
Every scar , that runs down till the end corner of the world
And the gun-shot wound that killed the lonely bird
Not our fault but it will always be our mistake to keep
Hush now, pretty child you don't have to weep
Come now , its been a while and I know you want to sleep
Come here , lie on this bed of thornes and let it cut you deep
I always wondered but now I have no reason to dream
Because now I know nothing is as it seems
Walking out of close doors into different realms
Always afraid to wander where i've never been
You only touch me where my scars run the deepest
And now i'm even more afraid to hold your hands
I've been away for a while and I need to rest
I hope with every word that I don't say you will understand
Maybe silence will teach you what my words could not
May the preacher be truth and ever so wise
The ink will fade away in the end and the pages will rot
You can paint over the ugly parts will all your lies
Hey you , we've been talking from ages now
But I still don't know who you are or whats your name
Now you , all you need is to turn around
Face me and tell me every word of your pain
I need to know what makes us what we are
You've always been the one to listen to your heart
I need to know what makes us the same
You and me , we are a thousand miles apart
But I can still see you in every mirror on the wall
You can stand on all you want but you'll still fall
Into this nightmare that will strangle your thoughts
One bad seed and you will have to burn them all
I've been waiting and thats the only thing that I remember
It feels like i've been here with you forever
And I still don't know the colour of your eyes
Every word had always been spoken together
And now i have no clue what's there on your lips
Just smoke and haze that hides your face
I've forgotten the last time I saw through the mist
A song that plays over and over like a maze  
Hey you , can you still look out of the window
Can you still witness the world pass us by
Do you , still dream about the quiet meadow
I can see the the light slowly leaving your eyes
Will you too , leave me alone now that you're lost
Or will you , find me again when i'm about to leave
The time has decayed and now I know what you're not
I can see you more clearly and I know you're not me
Hey you, keep looking but I won't say a word
For you , i'll open up and you can see all the hurt
Every scar , that runs down till the end corner of the world
And the gun-shot wound that killed the lonely bird

Will hurt no-more.
Notes (optional)
327 · May 2016
Somewhere in nothingness
aviisevil May 2016
Mostly i've said nothing
i've felt nothing
meant nothing
nothing at all
nothing in my mind
I'm a prisoner
and the walls
remind me sometimes
about rain
when tears fall
nothing that can suffice
and i've learned
to never ask the price
i'm nothing
like ice
turned water
losing my identity
the key
of self
in isolation i breathe
and yet i can taste
the outside
just lingering beyond
my thoughts
those i have caught
between my dreams
painting echoes
bursting through
mind and space
into the emptiness
I've so fell in love with
my shelter
and answer to my prayers
an oasis
that isn't there
fooling me into believing
that i have something to lose
somewhere
in this nothingness
327 · Dec 2020
as lovers we die
aviisevil Dec 2020
they'll dance in our skin
make love in our scars

to the sounds of our sin
beneath fallen stars

they'll swim in our dreams
in a home with no doors

drowning as they spin
circling them rotten floors

and as lovers we die,
as lovers we die --

for how less we lived
as lovers we die

you and i,
forever together.
I wish for nothing else, but to find love.
325 · Nov 2017
a light
aviisevil Nov 2017
dark sky is weeping,
down a heaven, tears-
sparkling in the sky,
until the sun ends,
everything in its path.

i sat by the window,
as the light ate away
my walls apart.

i hid away by the shadows,
in the hollow, with my scars,
a touch that belongs to no eye,
so much to live a lie.

then bird's came to life,
echoing the nature calling
my name, from afar,
and here i sat, on my throne,
alone and scared, finding
a star.

so cold, as i have always been,
but more now, that the ice
melts, heaven is hell if you have
a need to sin, a want to dim the
divine lights, those, that burn
through the sky every mourning.

to every morning that has
suffered, to every breath
that has struggled to put a name
on lonely whispers-
there's a greed in my veins,
to turn blue and dark,
black eyes, charcoal brain,
a piece of coal for a heart,
so coarse and strange,
stranger still, than you can
ever tell.

there's only noise in silence,
if you don't learn to spell.

only things in the light and
it's violence, no stories and
mysteries to sell, no poet to
bleed, no ghosts to feed, so naked,
with no secrets to read,
in hell, in mayhem.

and as it claimed my home-
the light, i saw my night,
and i prayed, i wished.

and as the light broke in-to me,
kissed me a disease, i could see
the storm approaching-
roaring from far, and with it,
a heaven.
What if good is bad and nice is ugly, the mad, a philosophy ?
325 · Jul 2015
oblivion
aviisevil Jul 2015
all I have are words
in this world, of hurt and love
In all the ways I am cursed
i still find an ocean above
raining down, ash and dust
every breath, in my every death
from the dawn till dusk
as I bleed to become someone else
losing myself, In the skies I rust
beneath the shadows and stars
in my scars I see it unfurl
another design,
to nurture my ****** hurt
ticking hours tricking my hurt
as I watch another rust
in those broken mirrors
a stranger fades with a touch
Notes (optional)
324 · Oct 2015
the reason of your pain
aviisevil Oct 2015
how do you feel when she just goes away
and you keep wondering why she didn't stay
how do you feel when she just forgets
and you start living your life in regrets
what happens when she even forgets your name
instead of love all you get is pain
and as the time goes by
you think you are going insane
and there's nobody to help you
nobody to wipe off that stain
and what do you do when you're just left alone
every night you pray but in the morning you're still on your own
how do you feel when someone you love doesn't loves you back
but still you go on giving them everything you have
you keep thinking about them all night and day
they just take you by the heart and throw you away
how do you breathe when you feel so used, back-stabbed and abused
you kept thinking about making it all alright
but now you are confused, no one can help you, not even you
what happens when she looks in your eyes and see herself
but when you look back in hers it's somebody else
its so ******* painful, you wish you could die
but you promised yourself that you will never cry
but what happens when every promise turns out to be a lie
and people who you would've died for, don't even care if you die


what happens when you know
you can never let go
and the one you love so much
doesn't even know
you keep telling yourself
that its all gonna change
but you know in your heart
It will always be the same
you know you are alone
and will always remain
what happens when love becomes
the reason of your pain
Notes (optional)
324 · Apr 2024
feast on me
aviisevil Apr 2024

caught in a cobweb

slowly spinning in your skin

crawling beneath your breath

I am trying to break in

and I must confess

I've never felt so blessed

since you've walked in

so feast on all of my sins

cut me open from the
inside and let me sink

swallow my heart and
make me forget

every thought in my head

I want you to
I want you to

drink me away while
I'm still bleeding


323 · Nov 2018
the dead me
aviisevil Nov 2018
in the withering whispers
as a new lore begins to grow and fade
take an oath, a vow that will linger
i still don't remember
how i forgot her face

wake me from this lonely dream
of having nothing more
before my time
in all those tales heard and seen
i can't make out which one was mine

feed me before i eat myself and
let the rust sleep through the doors
we cannot be saved from ourselves
even though, i am not who i was anymore.
323 · Dec 2015
only a dream
aviisevil Dec 2015
I will miss you
you will haunt me
I will suffocate
now that you're not with me
memories will fade
in ash and dust
and the tale that we made
will begin to rust
beneath stains of time
by the scars left behind
my heart is lost
and there's only you on my mind
shaping a million whispers
that you no longer want me
voices haunt me
the silence wants me
and all my suffering
lead me back to you
as your aura withers
I wither too
in pieces and shards
part by part
back into emptiness
and in this hollow I can hear
what I never knew before
and after all my tears
you were never here
it was all a dream
and I'm awake no-more.
321 · Jun 2015
winters roar
aviisevil Jun 2015
he saw them marching,
as the golden rays kissed
a solemn good-bye
he was there still, standing-
in that late winter
when even gods  
seemed to have died
he saw them riding,
with their spears and shiny armour
the silence drowned the noise
and suddenly,
it became calmer
he could hear his mother whispering,
old dreams and a spring  
men behind him screaming
he heard them call a king,
With rugged and torn shields
they made their way forth  
a shadow slowly approaching
and he raised them his sword
a roar through the mountains
for here cometh the lords
into the shiny armour and spears
Into claws of the beast
either way
there'll be a feast
so he stood his ground
as the shadow covered them
in that dark to drown  
they laid on the ground
They laid in pieces
Sleeping for the crown
Nothing remains now
only a howl in a winters breeze
And if you close your eyes
you can still feel them breathe
blood and tears,
Roaring for a thousand years.
Notes (optional)
aviisevil Dec 2015
the lonely man plays the symphony of ages,
and ash drifts in the air like a winter song.
an angel sits by them stars; far away from a mortals reach,
and the road to the end feels so lost and long.




I keep you sheltered in my soul,
scattered pieces too brittle to hold.
I feel your longing, I feel my cold.
that sets in every corner; there's no place left to hide no more.

trees sway in the autumn breeze; bare and naked, dark and old.
the man plays on the symphony,  as the angel begins to cry.
her tears raining down from the night sky, piercing through the mans soul.
far from the horizon you can see a star fall and die.


I will feed on our memories and the thirst will never end,
only fuel the torment burning deep within.
my mind is going in a hundred different directions,
I don't know how much more I can keep it in;
before I become a monster.





the symphony tears through the emptiness of the sky,
and the angel begins to fall in the rhythm of his heart,
as the symphony played, there were no more truths and lies;
only hell and heaven, night and day, life and death to keep them apart.




nothing will remain of us as we move away,
maybe it's true, it wasn't me and you; but we have nothing to remind us with,
it wasn't the world, it wasn't our hurt,
tears of love; tears for love did it.
320 · Nov 2021
Atlases
aviisevil Nov 2021
the ripe winds
perch upon the threads of
western disturbance

trading through the
vastness of liquid turmoil

flowing and cutting
across the narrowest
of vengeance

that has laid upon
this land flourishing
under a disguise:
of mere nothingness and
certain similarity;

for who knows
what converses with the
frigid north

and talks to the
passes of the mighty
peaks of middle Asia

walking past the grandeur
of the Himalayas, and it's
many ancient towns

where no other
has been of any importance
whatsoever

there in the sweet solace
of solitude and crisp sunrises

i find myself dreaming
of the tranquil winds, and
ancient passageways:

far from Nazareth and
the cradle of men

where the old brick
roads now sleep in dusk

and there's nothing
left to conquer

built upon the spectacular
-- on this olden earth

i find myself yearning
for little things.
I really hope you enjoy this poem.
320 · Jun 2016
God?
aviisevil Jun 2016
Dear god, why don't you love me
a little more than I deserve
why is that you're invisible
why be so reserve
Show me yourself now
or I will forget I believe
I'm just talking to myself
am I not ?
maybe I should leave
only an empty space and nothing more
it's all just science and facts
but I still hope you are there
for whenever that panic attacks
but why not be my father?
why won't you love me like a mother?
is there someone else more deserving
do you love me less than some another?
so why must you be my king ?
I'm just wondering
I've done ******* and it's awesome
that means you're on something different
and better
so why don't you share it together
why must I wait forever
only to die in your name
tell me
you don't feel any pain
you don't feel my anger ?
do you even know my name
have you seen tears of my mother
why must I praise you
when I haven't even seen your face
oh, don't tell me you're everywhere
I won't play that game in my heart,
that's just not the place
for when it is broken
you won't mean nothing
for every door that wasn't open
something died within
those pieces are lost now
buried behind a thousand walls
do you think it is only my fault,
that I don't believe in you at all?
aviisevil Oct 2019
dust is falling down the sky
dead people don't want to love

too old to say my good bye
i'd rather die than become rust

monsters need a place to hide
how about giving them your soul ?

you'd rather **** yourself twice
why is that you still feel so cold

you won't understand a thing
if you don't disappear now again

go back to where they found you
withering away occupied by the pain

let them sing you another lullaby
you are nothing more than a curse

no stars to keep you company
so diseased by the melancholic hurt

waste away your life as you've done
since the last time that you were born

no nails to bury by the sailing sands
only dust remains where you were sown

and dust is falling from the skies
ailing wind shall ****** all your thoughts

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

take all your evil and put it in a box
bury it inside you and keep it locked

in time your veins shall turn purple
here and now, there is no god

so take the fire and burn the wordless
you're worth less now as you were taught

forget everything you learned before
it's time to **** them all as you desire

mix that silent poison to the fire
the light shall find them like a moth

open your mind and let them in
every monster that hid beneath your bed

and the shadows they could never see
let them all in - and set yourself free

there's only this one world to destroy
make it yours before they do the same

paint your name across the sky
and watch the dust fall ever so slowly

soon there's going to be a sea of ash
and tides as huge as the swollen scars

and they'll eat into the world you've known
watch the dust fall down from the stars

you know in your heart what's right
they had you blind
before you could ever learn to see

so, **** everyone and be free



**** everyone and be free
before they take it all away from you

and you're left alone
dancing to the winds full of rust

you have to **** your thoughts
and ****** the sky - ash to dusk

you must never ask why

people who live are the ones who die
no place for the people time forgot

and there are no goodbyes
here today with no one dying in your arms

and if you look up and listen close
you'll hear the dust falling from the sky

dust is falling from the sky
dust is falling from the sky

and the dust is falling from the sky
dead people don't want to love.
I'm not sure but I know - there's evil and there's good. I'm sure there is me and there is you. I'm sure you are good and I am the devil and so, here is my eternal love for you, I shall give you the world.
320 · Mar 2018
incompletely full
aviisevil Mar 2018
there's so much dust in me,
dusk, and the rust,
lust and the dusk in me,
to set me alight, on fire-

so much smoke and
cold and loneliness,
the seething emptiness,
and the hollow mornings;
for the sun to rise-

the hurt in me,
always hurting me-

the words in me,
never in the right sequence
or picture;

the elegance to be,
to be, or not-
a million years of
evolution and scriptures;

mixture of chaos,
and visitors;
with their pain,
with their home,

with their bombs,
and with their gones

bones and skeletons,
sharks and teeth;

seeds and forests,
just ready to burn;
to set me alight, on fire.
319 · Jul 2017
Seconds
aviisevil Jul 2017
i still miss you more everyday,
now that you're not here and m-ine.
such a fool, that i thought you'd stay
but i was so young at that t-ime.

now i don't have much to say,
since we went our way and left us behind.
sometimes i still find tears, and pray,
but i know love's not an exact science.




[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]




there's something in the morning sk-y,
that makes me want to keep shut my  eye,
if i don't dream i know i will die,
if i don't ever scream you won't know, that i tr-y.

now everything else is just escaping my head, and i'm wondering about l-ife-
if i'll ever understand it, before it leaves me for dead.

i don't need this day, i want to go back to bed, i feel so wrong-
i wish all my troubles would go away, if i keep my eyes shut for a little long.




[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]




back to home and i feel so lonely,
what do you do when you lose your only ?.

i've seen the movies, and i know there are so man-y,
but if i had to choose i won't choose an-y.

for all of my heart is whispering in one vo-ice,
if i'm really made for it, do we really have a ch-oice ?
is there something else out there for me too, other than this all void ?

is it just the pain, or am i,
am i too old to take a fall ever again ?


[ but then, there's this moment of silence,
  and all i can think, is of you, and the
  violence;

  there are so many of us here and we're
  dy-ing,
  breathing in ink, waiting for her to make
  us fall in love.                                                 ]
318 · Jan 2023
there was once a sad guy
aviisevil Jan 2023

there was
once

***

and he used
to cry

like a
baby

when no
one was
looking

he was ten
maybe eleven

it does
not matter

sometimes he
cried

because everyone
around was just
so sad

it never was
about money
but it always is

he saw it in
his mother's swollen
red eyes

is there ever an
age to tell a child
what sadness is?

he did not know
God yet but he could
tell somebody somewhere
did not like him that much

i suppose no
one did like him

even he did
not like himself

with that face
and broken nose
and crooked teeth?

even his mother
told him once
that she did love
him but maybe if
he wasn't so ugly
she would've loved
him some more

and his father never
said a nice thing about
him ever

his grandfather did
once, it was a lie, but
he chose to believe it
anyhow

there wasn't much
else to believe in

only tears

then winter turned
to summer

and summer became
twenty years

days and
days

went by
in a blur

sadness aged
inside of him

like the sweetest
wine though it was
still so very bitter

until one day
he got so drunk

that he forgot
who he was

it was the greatest
day of his life

he waved and
smiled at everybody

he danced and
he sang and he
screamed out
loud

it was a beautiful
sunset that day

there wasn't a
single tear left
in him

nor did anyone
else cry



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