you still haunt my fears
and dreams

i've blocked out the sun
yet i can still hear you scream
across the lights

and i can still hear you

your presence burn
feed on the dried tears

prance on the memories
enslaved by the forgotten years

and i sit inside the
pages

cold and alone i yearn
learn about the melancholic
corners and spaces

trying to paint
ghosts and their faces

ash leaves behind no
scars and no traces

cold and alone i yearn
frolicking on ends
frozen forever and sedated

the wheels have spun
in arms of someone
and everything else has faded

but your presence
still burns

the flames igniting
the nights

across the skies
and seven seas

as far as the time
can see

you're everywhere
dancing

so naked so free

and i have an eternity
of nothing else to be

but be mesmerised
by that that i cannot see

haunted.

Sound of rain filling empty spaces of this cold dark room,
As i sit alone, wondering if the ensuing struggle can clear the sky
The night is lonely, as the clouds have hid the moon
And i find myself awake as thunder spits out white lies

I stand by the window, staring at the beautiful darkness
As a void slowly fills itself and quenches its thirst
I feel complete, yet i can't fight the approaching nothingness
And help myself from feeling isolated in this season of hurt

I can feel the fragrance of ice cold water kissing the land
To be made into puddles of dirt that will dry out tomorrow
This carnival of nature does something to a man
Brings out the tales and forgotten passages of his sorrows

And yet i feel the pain disappear behind the shadows
Detached, they slowly conquer depth of every invisible wall
Eyes laid upon the shape-shifting reflections in the mirror
synchronized with the bright lights, as the rain falls

I hear beyond the lurking darkness, in flashes all i see
Breaking away from this world, a traveller all i want to be
Roar of the gods and the cries of the slaves
Out of prison, every looming thought fights to be free

Winds bring forth a message from the whispering trees
As they stand alone, shivering in thunders breath
Howling at the olden lanes, down pours a sea
As every cross-road holds in itself a waterfall of death

And i watch every droplet fall and crash in pieces,
Some make their way to the corner of my eyes
As they trickle down to the edge of my lips
I smile, for i know i will be alive for a while

Sweet scent of the dying moments hypnotise me
As I swim blind towards the memories ocean
Engulfed in a blanket of solitude and calm
I let myself be shred to pieces as i walk out in the open

melancholy sits on the pavement,
on a cold autumn day.
enjoying the music of a thunderstorm,
screaming.
dreaming about the winter yet to come,
become grey.
submerged to the tunes of a dark morning that is seeding,
beyond what any words can convey or design.
watching the elements of the sky growing and leaving,
how silently this picturesque nothing
captures the lonely corners of my mind.





have you ever seen a mountain break down in fear ?




let us pretend that we are all meant to suffer for choosing who we are,
and what we become, isn't that just the product of our scars ?
let's talk ourselves into buying new clothes and shiny blingy machines,
bright and cold screens to hide the ugly definition of this world,
or let us find a book that will repay us our words worth;
tears pouring over and wetting the beautiful pages of a magazine,
our eyes gazing at the beautiful bodies and rich flavours,
ignoring the red rose shining happily in the sun's gaze just outside by the road,
how many times have you felt the touch of something sharp..
and felt the need of cutting your throat ?
as always my mind means no harm, but it keeps buzzing with a thousand thoughts;
I know I'm decaying thanks to science, but I'm awaiting my conscience to rot.




I want to be free,
I want to ****.




the stark darkness in loneliness feeds on the forgotten whispers yet to concede a child, a labour of filth, of guilt, and all the things in between.



It's so dangerous to be human sometimes.



human ?



I've forgotten what they mean by it.


I'm so delusional.



Somebody throw me under the bus.


****.

Luck.


I make no sense.



Why am I supposed to be so random ?


Is it pointless to be crazy ?



don't ask me, don't look at me.
I'm so ugly.
You're so pretty.
an angle to my stranger.
stronger than my anger.
As I strangle,
my words once more.



Did you hear me ?

For I want to be
kissed by the sun

not the candlelight

There isn’t room
at this table
for the both of us

I want to sleep
deep in the forest

close my eyes
and not be alone

A bed for two
only lasts the night

I want to take my heart
hold it in my arms

and not give it back
this time

To laugh and sing
and dance

to let them know
it’s just a silly little life

but it’s mine

sitting here so cold
with things untold

waiting for my soul
to write me in ink
to make hollow whole
with stones and gold

words written in coal
they'll speak my sin



but when they find me
please help them remind me
that i was never ever lost
it was just the cost to be at
a place that never was



sitting here so sold
with nothing left to hold

waiting for the door
to open and take me in
a mind riddled with holes
now every thought's a *****

broken and then some more
i am so torn from within



but when they find me
please help them remind me
that i was never ever lost
it was just the cost to be at
a place that never was


through my pain and loss
without you or them
or your rules and laws
far away from your claws


and i just stood there in awe
for the world to not end
in love with my flaws


so don't tell me about your loss
i don't need tears to fill my sea

and what i see is still travelling
loud enough for the sky to hear

and it cannot pause
it's still raw and it rots
like my brain when i'm not
in a place that never was

between people
and the world they forgot

my mind cannot stop
there's nothing here for me
nothing real for me
everything's bought


and when they find me
please help them remind me
that i was never ever lost
it was just the cost to be at
a place that never was

there's nothing to see
i'm not free

i'm so hollow i cannot speak
there's this nothing to be

i wonder why everything's  
on a repeat  

who left his brain out ?
this virus will eat

there's nothing to gain from this
so why don't you leave me

alone with my words
i need some sleep

stop poking at my mind
with your drugs and your
shine so fine

makes me want to rhyme
on a piece of paper

i'm so glad we're still strangers
or we'll have nothing to speak

there's so much to be said
but no one knows how to read

to believe
too relieved

two seeds
can make a naked
forest breed

teachers don't teach
preacher won't preach

and it doesn't mean anything
because no one knows everything
there's always something
that cannot really sing

just an ugly face
with no voice

there's beauty
and then there's a choice

a noose to fill
you choose your thrill

everything kills
so why are you still

so afraid to die
tell me why

nothing means everything
when you know how to lie

to your brain
and see the magic
through closed eyes

life is tragic
the more you cry

jump off that balcony
to see if you can fly

if you make it
meet me on pluto

wear a tie

don't worry
if you cannot breathe

and there's no reply

i'd be waiting there
for you

where sky's not blue

holding a sign

that reads
nice try but
you're dead too

the ghosts will never bother you
shadows won't ever follow you
them tears you've swallowed through
will come back one day to haunt you

your brain is insane and veins blue
been so sane with the same view

you've been lost and the world is new
no names but no promises too

been so in love till i grew
so many things I never knew


so alone with the walls shut
*** on an empty stomach
won't let me love you

been so in love without a clue
what *** on an empty stomach
can do to you

I get sad, when the hit gets over  

Don't just stalk me, talk to me
Come over

Tell me, what is it, that still pains, if something remains ?
And if you've been to the doctor who has a face but no name
A place but no money or fame

Just a castle of regrets, but no maids or monsters to serve his purpose
and it's hard to forget what life is,



how you can describe the flavour of a circus.
minds don't have the capacity enough these days to walk ways and be polite, inspite, we all must have the strength to end the friends who hurt us.

the voices in our viens, same voices, different choices, messing up a good part of our brain.




It's not about me or you, back to you, and me from you, when you, me, and you, crave for something new,

and now i'm just alone in my old, so cold, so sold, with nobody to hold and I have absolutely jack did to do,
Already in a depression and it just, all,
keeps getting lower,



so huge are these walls, of my room, within the gloom, where i hide the body of do-h-er,
i don't have enough skills to woo her,

so somebody can you please, anybody will you see, there's nobody here free, anybody can you see, the somebody cut down the tree,
now everybody is angry because nobody did somebody,



that makes no sense, or does it, i don't get it, but it's still a story and ten thirty and i'm already off the track,

if i don't stop now, i might get a heart attack,

and my heart's not with me,

but now I never get sad, I wish there was more to be had,

I was a good lad,



a little mad, riddle on sand, castle in waves, a book not for you to understand,

but it means nothing, because i still feel so ***** and dead,

i'm feeling thirsty, i think my head will find my bed, i'm done with dread
it's time i take some rest, time is some lady,



somebody please slow her,
I get sad when **** gets over
Don't just stalk me come talk to me,
become over.

BE, COME, OVER.





But I'm already alsleep i'm such a loner

This winter won't cease and i know i'll melt in summer

I'm done, I'm done with feeling sick empty inside, i don't want to haunt her

No please go Let go, oh no, you don't understand it don't want her

I don't know her I can't keep this up

I'm not in love and i don't want to be tortured




The vultures are here circling my brain and I'm there picking my sane veins

Ready to give in, just take a name and i'll do it
everything they've just said, means nothing at all in its meaning,
So demeaning,



every thought I have in my head is what they say is what is dreaming,
I ain't done yet so I'm obviously not leaving,

no, not any time soon, but if there's a monsoon i might take shelter,

there's no need to pretend I'm afraid of the rain but i guess they need to see that i'm more civilised than better,
whatever, it's not a question of when but never ever,




stories are false, and there are no flaws, just faults when things come together,
for nothing's perfect enough to be perfected by her no matter how much you traverse the weather all across the world, looking for hurt so you can feel better than dead,

it's just sad tale of regrets that i cannot forget and sooner or later I'm gonna be fed up of the latter



and take my life out for a spin as i take a hit in, to be smoked by the man in the leather,

tell me i'm a sick ****, with no luck and i have absolutely nothing beautiful, so I should just shut up,

instead of making non sense and half rhymes, half of the time, they're not even mine,


but some stranger in my mind that wants me to be kind when i'm not,
please, somebody make it stop, release me from this spot, i'm tired of being who i am not, i'm not me, i'm not free, i'm wired to be shocked, when ever something good happens to me. locked by the clock,




as i'm becoming someone i'm not ever needing, just bleeding as i walk, searching for god.

Oh, Lord! I have to stop now.

there's nobody out there
behind the voice

all there is
is this vacuum in void

filled with rotten
flowers and emptied sun

drifting around the
asteroid belt

where frequencies
are sung

filling sequenced days
from the last

in various ways
blooming into melancholic
art

alcoholic space
and in an unholy flask

sailing across the page
between the lines

not enough velocity to
to escape the mind

stuck forever in this
fallen place,

diseased and blind

isn't universe just
a cage that

no poet can rhyme;

nobody can hear you scream
on mars, nevermind.

You say I'm undone
Thirsty , like a fish without water
You say I'm on a run
Chasing sunshine , it Dosent matter
I've painted on walls
A window that cease to exist
And I'm looking through it
Hoping someday someone would fix
These broken pieces I carry
Sheltered in my heart
You say, I'm mourning
Every moment with all my heart
I'm climbing on a ladder
One step at a time
You say I want to reach somewhere
One moment at a time
But you never tell me
How come you know all my secrets
You say , I'm an open book
Filled with riddles I've kept secret
There's more to me that meets the eye
I'm a droplet in the ocean
I'm hard to distinguish , to find
I'm a song that plays for no one
You say , I'm a smile that never shines
I've been searching long enough
And it only made me more lost
In this wilderness I search for civilisation
You say , I love wilderness
That I'm nature , I'm pure like dew
Untouched by what lies beyond
I'm a window without a view
There's a reason why I've closed all the doors
You say , I'm not ready to get out
That words are hard to come by
One never knows what I really think about
You say I'm an endless road
Passing through an infinite space
There's no sign as to where it'll lead
I'm just waiting to be freed
You say , I love being pointless
Routine eludes my being
The point of my existence
Is to be in slumber with no dreams
I'm a bird without the wings
Looking at the sky in disbelief
Asking questions never asked
Why was I made for what I'm not
You say , I'll fly away at last
I'm someone who I'm not
Without pretending , I still wear a mask
You say , I can hide myself all I want
But my eyes says it all
You say I'm different , everyone is
But it's the latter that matters
A hope I silently dismiss
I love them colours , as long as its in black
You say , I'm someone I could never have
I love the calm of sorrow
In tears of silence I hope to find peace
That I am looking for a dark corner
Where I could unleash
i think I exist therefore , I am
And you say i am , therefore I exist

i am small
barely enough to live
another day

i am weak
brittle bones afraid
of being betrayed;

and when i scream
i pretend they're all
here with me inside
my broken mind

maybe it's all a dream
maybe not,

how can i tell
when i'm barely alive ?

i'm too scattered
to fight this settling calm,

i can't sleep
maybe it's in my head

and i can feel it in
my arms --

unsettling my veins,
and in my frozen tears

it's circling inside
of me, always, right here

when the blackness
swirls and swarms;

and it's the same
despair that

i've bled now,
so many a times;

caught in my
storms

far from
the giving sun

to be so old
when i'm young

i am numb and
forever dying

so cold
like the last night,

that i spent with
my eyes wide open

trying to find meaning
in the shadows that
move across the walls

dancing in stark
darkness,

there's something here
in this room with me that
does not exist

or has ever spoken

and yet i hear it breathing
down my neck,

i can taste the whispers
that have made a home
in the deep of my skin,

i can feel my mind
fighting the dread, the dead
and everything inbetween,

and i love this hurtful
existence, i'm in love with
the flames,  

i've known nothing else
and nothing else can be the
same as this pain --

it's strange how much
we fight the things we cannot
explain,

there's this white noise on
the other side of the world
we'll never learn how to
contain --

and it'll seep through
our cities and thoughts

in the same wilderness
as i once was;

you'll just be as weak
and small

as we've always
been,

no rain nor fire
or rivers or trees

just us free,
drowning forever.

if i have to die in fire
then that's all i'll remember
in burning flames seething
fleeing my soul

feeling all that i've conspired
must have taken it's toll

it's her another december
and that's all i remember

now that i have surrendered
a part of my whole



there's so much more
than what it used to be
she
growing wings and
escaping into the sky

i've seen her cage
that endless sea

fallen in my ink
as i paint her a bird
to dream and fly


and if i have to fade
with my desire
for her will to live  

then that's all i'm 'gonna do

i have made myself
into a liar
where i sit

this place that isn't true

so
burn me

when you find me
or i'll come back to life

turn me
into a zombie

it's better than
being alive

the world doesn't want me
and it's alright

tell ghosts to haunt me

i don't want to dream about her
all night.

.

what paints the house
in swirl of the night

what lurks in the shadows
the unknown?

a fleeting glimpse
of reality

or just a distant glare
in nothingness

held together by the
summers greed

falling asleep in arms
of tomorrow

resting in old photographs
collecting dust

in wilderness that comes
with dying dusk

hunted by the ends
we seek  

barely ever breathing



@writeweird

So many people in this parking lot
It's over-crowded and they talk a-lot
I wasn't welcome but oh, I forgot-
But now that I am here tell me
If I am hot or not, yay or nay

Cold or warm, *** or not
**** or game, **** or not
Shut or vain, dumb or not

A loser and a shame,
It won't matter to them, if it gets you numb or not-
They won't stop, it won't end, unless your brain begins to rot
I kid you not, once there was a story and now the man's just caught
With all that crap they had to sell he bought it all
All their walls, short and tall, raised and taught-
All their words and all their all, but he couldn't get them though
And now he's just waiting to let them go,
He fell in love but they didn't know, it's all his fault;
he was a boy and now it's his turn to learn and grow, let him find his flow
Find himself in that well where he fell, with no story to tell
screaming this is hell, this is hell, somebody can you make it slow
The world's too fast and I didn't know,
I was the turtle and the rabbit had golden toes,
It was just the habits and now i'm ****** and I can't make it snow
get them hoes, never make it rain, out and stuck, in my high and lows
Painting stains, there must be something better out there, then demon and saints
In here,  things are just waiting to explode,
I'm ready to explore, but it's so crowded that i can't control myself,
when i am doubted by myself, because they told me so
But if i don't do this, I won't be a part of their show

And nobody would cross my path in the parking lot.

And I don't want to be lonely, not today, not ever so,
I will listen to them with a smile until I can't no more.

Until I can't no more.




Such a mess
A broken soul
A broken soul
Non-sense
It's all for the show
It's all for show
Don't be restless
So senseless
Let it go
Let it go
Let it end,

Parking lot's not the place to make friends.

running naked in the tunnels
cold and lonely
searching for nothingness
emptiness escaping the soul
to devour the bones whole
beneath the dark
where the skeletons remain
with no names
buried in footprints
crawling on the walls
howling as the wind falls
shaping colours never known
running through the tunnels
all alone
moaning voices linger
into the vast hollow of time
everything dances in dust
light is too cold to shine
broken air finds no mate
there's no one at the gates
only the dark awaits
to be fed by the fear
burning at the end
separating the skin from heart
ripping every inch apart
and making an idol
that will sit behind the eyes
where the loneliness hides
and the unthinkable hides
through the tunnels
where no space is wide enough
to turn back

This time you and I can't escape on a boat of illusion
There's no sea and we can't sail on sand
I hope you agree with me , I hope you understand
Ain't nobody at the horizon
No trumpets and violins will play when we meet
Maybe we don't want to , it's too hard to reach
Play the blame game and throw the pain on the other half
But speak I may , been doing this from the start
It's been a long journey and been wiser with you my Friend
But the road is no more and upon the mountain we stare at the end

The man in the mirror is haunted.

I never wanted to be a part of you,
You look at me like you're wanted
But here I am, And you're not true.



As I slowly take a step back,
I can see you grow so small.

I gave you all I ever had,
And you can keep it all.


I can taste how it feels to be you,
So lost and confused, alive and tame--
You're just stuck here and have no clue,
That you'll never see my face again.


I always hated the way you smiled,
So crooked, And full of burning pain.
I could see it in your eyes, the vile;
I can still hear you screaming my name.



Time cannot heal what cannot be.
A broken mirror cannot repair its scars;
Sometimes we forget that we can still see,
And there's more than just a broken heart.




But now I am gone,
And there's nothing left to see.


You're all alone now,
This emptiness will set you free.



Inside these walls that will echo,
every time you take a breath;
To remind, It was all so long ago,
And every moment we shared is dead.


Buried in the darkness,
Reflecting from your skin.

My face was yours to keep,
But you could never know my sins.



I wish I could've touched you once,
You always felt so real.


There's the light, And dark in some;
Some have only fear.


And in the end, Everything fades away,
To become a memory in time.


Even though you're only in my mind,
You'll always be on my mind.

summer has come
and left

my sorrows have
come and left

the world is a
simpler place

it does not know
of the passing autumn
in my bones

i can smile and
tell them it's nothing
but the rains

that spring is 'round
the corner

that thoughts and
dreams have come
and left

people have come
and left

the many years have
come and left

but my heart

my heart is a place
for winter

stranger hiding in my brain
why are you fighting me again ?

why are you always
fighting me ?

talk to me
tell me your tale

speak to me your pain
scream to me your name

where did you
come from ?
come to me now
I've been so alone
with thoughts I
cannot contain



[what have you
done to me ?]



show me how
my dreams are made
you've known
so much that I'm afraid
you cannot leave now
and if you must..

I have nothing to say
I'll just write you
down on a page

burn you so slowly
that you'll never
try to run away


[what are you
doing to me ?]


what have I become ?

no
you cannot stay

or you'll eat my mind
and there'll be no one
to remind me of my time


that one time
we spoke for hours..

you told me
you were not me..

but I don't remember me


[what have you
turned me into ?]


am I still the same ?

or am I two

am I you ?

or are you me too..

stranger hiding in my brain
tell me my name

I beg you...



why are you always
fighting me ?

a murderous low
watching a ****** of crows
in a dangerous glow
pouring from my mind

thoughts left in kind
walked the centuries blind
carrying memories to remind

there's no place else to go
home never grows
the kids never knows
till the end of time

there's a sky
on fire, for him to breathe
sun is only bone and desire  
with no tongue to speak

there's a hollow
with a heart to keep
if you follow
you'll find the words to read

in that sleep,

here i am
in a murderous low
dreaming out the window
of a view left behind

another shadow,

as i imagine his soul
breaking the shine
smoke circles in a blow
ready to remind

why the mirror never fades
and i keep staring
at my own face
looking for an empty space
to fill my tears

howling for a breath
a flower inside my head

a rose that is dead
for a fear of thorns
those appear dear

and then,

killing him as he wept
burning me inside
where he's kept
not yet ready to breed
leave my head

stranger things have happened
at the orion belt
as far to me
as you've been ourselves
in ways

as near to me
when the night has slept
with a murderous low
and a crown that melts

sitting idle,
always.

stranded, here in this
infinite room

darkness falls through
the ages

pages turn old and
rust, the winds cease
to whisper

heavy air sits in the
corner with me

in deafening silence
of another autumn

how many days have
passed me by?

i must be so old now

i remember i was
young once

that i lived under a
blue sky,

and i must be so old now.



@writeweird

His eyes were red and cold as he gazed upon the throne ,
With hate that ruled his heart he could break every wall of stone
Lost in his own madness , consumed by the betray of the one gones
His breath of fire shall burn and ashen every home they've known

For every man is once only a child , as pure as the morning dew
An unwritten tale of the morrow , every sight is new
One can't teach thyself to hate , it's a poison that world brews
For we forget that good is far greater but good men so few


His claws dig deeper with more despair he sees
Through the flesh onto their heart and dreams
A calm song to his soul , as his prey withers and screams
To be one with the devil now and forever , his creed


He begged for the world to see him for what he was ,  
But they'll only know him as who he is now
He walked upon a road back and forth so lost
And the mute world never made no sound

He feeds on the ruins of the forgotten land ,
Upon all the lost souls that wanders into his side
Ever so caring in his warm tender hands
The gates to his kingdom are open ever so wide


His small hands craved for warmth and embrace
But the cruel sky carved a maze of scars on his face
Little eyes searching for the lone bird in the sky
Spots one, as the bird is shot and dies before his eyes


The world is nothing but a speck of dirt in his mind
Ought to be crushed before he runs out of time
Wicked kind that decay and degrade with every breath they take ,
His love is for the dead for living he has nothing but hate


He saw them put fire to the forest of his thoughts
And the flames engulfed every nook and corner
He was burnt , Ashen to the being he was not
Pushed into the void with arrival of every  new mourner


Sharpness of his blade shining through the night
Into the approaching herd of black and white
A question before the end of why they deserve his rage ,
Stains of ignorance on every Blood soaked page


The world cut him in pieces and every part was drained of love ,
Left to die and rot , he's the phoenix who was raised in their dirt
They proclaim him as the devil , his very existence they curse
Lore of the fools , the unholiness of his birth

mind of a child was fed with hate and pain ,
Left in the dark shade , he was told to find his own name
The night found him instead , held his hand as the fear drained
Now they say he's the devil , who's the one to be blamed ?

i wish i had a few words
for the things i cannot explain

if i tell you about my hurt
would you tell me about your pain ?

or seek me through the dusk
and as far as the ends of the rain

if i only have for you is love
would you love me back the same ?



of all the things that i've seen
now they slowly blind me

even if this ain't a goodbye
you'll never know where to find me



tears wipe away the slate clean
and with years no one can reclaim

and once i had this dream
where we were young once again

i hope the forest's still green
and that the ocean hasn't changed

if i only have for you is love
would you love me back the same ?



of all the things that i've seen
now they slowly blind me

even if this ain't a goodbye
you'll never know where to find me

sound of wilderness
has come to pass

machines of men
have come to age  

children no longer
go outside

it is not safe to
breathe

the traffic is
too much

and streets
are all crowded

old buses are filled
with people who do
not have time to live

there are no
stars in the sky

the sun is masked
by the tall buildings

water is no
longer free

fire is now
expensive

the night is
never dark

pierced by the
screams of a thousand
lights

without hope
or the warm sun

tired and
weary

people watch the
tall buildings

stare them
down

watch the
neon signs
street lights

cars, trees
and music

pass them
by

one by
one

they are
forgotten

placed inside
decaying

old crowded
buses

one by
one

they become
so many

a town
a city
a slum

that speaks of
nothing

not a word

only silence and
more silence

and the silence
becomes so heavy

crushing dreams
of every new born

until the silence
begets a scream

begets a machine
with a hammer

that knocks
on their feeble
doors

flatten their
denude walls

for opulent men living in
the silver clouds

in tall buildings with
neon signs

men who
own

hope

the sun
the buildings
the mountains
expensive cars
diamond rings
salaries
army

old crowded
buses

traffic and
winter smog

birds chirping
by the windows

voices talking
in the room

people tired
and bothered

hunch over in
their despair

coiled up in
corners

waiting for
the batteries
to run out

suffering in
silence

telling their
fractured stories

that speak of
nothing

not a word

only silence and
more silence

until the silence
becomes so heavy

that speaks of
nothing

not a word
only silence  

until the silence
begets a scream

begets a machine
with a hammer

that knocks on
feeble doors

flatten the
rustic walls

to mine the rubble
and mint more sky for
opulent men living in
the silver clouds

men who
own

hope

the sun
the river
the moon
the mountain
summer
spring

golden sunsets
expensive cars
exquisite laughter

each worth more
than a lifetime

of impoverished
daughters and their
sons

angry fathers and
women they beat

mothers and
****** and
beggars and

millions upon
millions

without hope
or the bright sun

silent as
a scream

silent as
a whisper

silent as
violence

and it speaks
of nothing

not a word

only silence and
more silence

passed down
impoverished
malnutritioned

millions upon
millions

such is the
world

without hope
or the bright sun

each laugh as expensive
as an entire lifetime

suffering in
silence.

my sins poured in a can
steel sides don't let me break free
and there i hide with my plastic smile
by myself for them all to see

and i have this rubber mask
that goes well with my pain

i know i was never meant to last
with all this poison in my veins

but if i could be free
would i be me ?

and words are 'round
asking me what's around
what's that sound,
what can be worse than this ?

and words i found
they're all buried in the ground
what's the count,
what can hurt more than this ?


for i've kept a few names in my basket
i've ran the miles and now i'm past it
holding on but i know i wouldn't last this

for it shows when i smile all plastic
my skin isn't bullet proof but it's elastic
so bury my soul and burn the casket


and melt away all the plastic,
melt away the plastic

what can be worse than bliss ?

lover, love her-
keeper, keep her.

for it won't
come again.

sittingidle
smoke rings in the air
I'm aware of my existence
and the vast darkness
everywhere else
speaking to me
in a riddle
in language I do not understand
there's more to this
more than what we used to know
how lonely is it
that everything grows
so old and rotten
someday never to be
always forgotten
in the end
how calm can you be
when it's burning you cold
mouth full of ash
as you mourn and choke
there's no home
we have no heart
that feeling that cuts you deep
against your throat
you fear no more
before
it was a different story
and now you have no tale to tell
to sell
you've lost everything already
no on else's guilty
everyone else is lonely
you've only felt lonely
there's more to this world
than your ugly idols
so many lies have made their home in my mind,
there's nothing left for anything else and I'm slowly turning blind
Consuming what is left of my conscience
sittingidle
smoke rings in the air
light bulb flickering
and darkness everywhere
as far as I can see
as far as I can tell
there's nothing much
left to be
all existence
whispering in this emptiness
of scars that cannot heal
there's nothing to feel
I have lost myself
on my own
so alone
so cold
and lonely
such a lovely time
inside my mind
where lies
find their home
beneath the stones
filling all cracks
waiting patiently
to be free
sittingidle

In the dark cold night,
When our tears weep.
Trying to hold on,
To the promises we keep.
Dawn is at our door,
But we don't remember anymore-
How to fall asleep.
Our blade cuts deep,
The Only comfort we need
Laying so still,
In the blood stained sheets.
Trying to hear in the silence,
If our heart still beats.
They won't remember us,
When we're gone.
All of those memories,
That we lived alone.
In this world of ruins,
We could never find no home.
Cometh our morning,
But the sun was still unknown.
More than enough,
In excess we were made.
Begged our loneliness,
No hand was there to take.
All we ever wanted,
Was to be heard-
And we did wait,
Now the winds howl,
Of our mistake.
Dear Ashley,
Only we decide our fate.
You won't find anything,
Behind your steel gates.
Break down the walls,
See through the cage.
Maybe, it's hard to fall asleep,
But ask yourself,
Are you even awake ?
Still, I would believe,
We can touch the sky.
Through these chains,
We can see through the lies.
In this darkness,
We realise-
It's so easy to die,
But I would still be staring at the sky,
Waiting for a phoenix to rise.
Dear Ashley,
Don't give up tonight.
Close your eyes,
And wait for the sun to rise.
It will.