Let the blade
run its course.

Let the fools
be devoured.

Let the unkind
shriek in despair.

For too long,
the world has been ruled
by belongings.

Let the threads
unweave,
and the night
crash into the days.

Everyone for themselves—
that is what’s on offer.

Lest we survive.

:zone zero: :alone:


what am i doing back on the phone, back on the drone, i admit i am alone, like ozone
in the air and i don't care if you're aware i'm not in the zone,
sometimes i wish i could ****** my own clone,
i hate everybody and everything he owns,
when i'll be gone there'll be no one left behind to mourn,
i'll be just lost in death as i was alive, in my time i roamed,
all across my mind and galaxies as far as i could to atone,
for my insecurities and responsibilities, they don't gel well in a broken home,
suspectible to them sticks and stones,
don't be a **** if you've never had your mind-known,
there's a circus fit, the circuits lit, let the circle sit in the middle of the riddle that has your mind-blown,
you won't understand a single thing, if you don't linger in ink,
long enough for the seeds to be sown,
i have a shot attention span, so many thoughts hunt and spam,
everybody just running to please the known man on the throne
the screen is glittering with ****, enough to make me sick,
there are so many infected by it, soon i'll be one of this,
i can feel the delusions have grown, the more illusions are born
at every opportunity thrown out of the window to rot and be ******
and as i look out that window world still feels hot but too out grown,
i'm happy on my own in my zone. zero. hollow.


:one: :two many:

i hate you today i'll hate you tomorrow
i hated your love i'll hate your sorrow
there's not enough air left to swallow
i suppose i'll be dead alone and hollow

surely in my head where thoughts follow the reason to dread anything that's not impervious to change,
i mean, me and myself are pretty strange, petty and ugly out ranged,
not in frequency like the rest of them, not trained,
not tamed, there's something wrong in my brain,
so come along and become a song as you find a voice to sing and shame,
the person who died because you said it's alright if you see the light at the end of tunnel where i found myself staring at a mirror again,
i'm back where it all begin, in the reflection looking for a name,
but there's so much hate that i cannot wait to hate you more as i waste myself in haste to make myself the monster i became,
i won't blame your tastes but, you're just a lame luck, a shame bud,
and i gave you all you could take thus you took everything but the pain such,
left me alone and cold on my own with blame enough,
that all the love got flooded in flames and now i'm stuck,
with all this hate that's deep down and shut,
i feel like a clown and a ****, so tough, ready to combust,
i'll be awake from night till dusk, reminded that i must hate you till i bleed to dust.

:three: : i wasn't humble:

and i can find myself often in a situation where the words fumble,
and i tumble down under into another void, i have no voice,
so many times it would have been wise to surrender,
but i was open up wide and i chose to ride the thunder,
and now here i wonder, if all my principles were insane ?
if a good man is really that huge opportunity of nothing to gain,
is it okay to be strange ?, is it not okay to be changed ?
when everything is evolving around you how right is to remain the same ?
and i still wander, in the lane, where the fast one's run and rise
is it easier to become again who you became and other-wise,
there's nobody out there to welcome you to the other-side,
all side's are the same, if you can see the clues in blue light,
it never mattered if you cannot see the atoms in violence,
there's only silence where you fight-
sitting on your made up throne, wearing a crown of your broken bones,
sipping the wine aged by your tears, you made a kingdom yet nobody's here,
you don't even have the luxury of a broken home, and it's clear,
there's no time-travel and you have wasted so many of your years,
in need of a few eyes and ears, there's not much on me i fear,
i'm even worse than i am, when i'm near a mirror that's dear,
watching the reflections sing to me  before as i,

:four: :paradise:

paradise in a pair of dice, repair ice, build me frozen lies-
cold and soothing, a puff of smoke and the time flies,
nothing to check or choke, how the mind-flies, into unknown, where the blind man tries,
to see the world, to find and understand the words in his sight,
don't let go, we're plunging back to earth and i'll lose you if you don't hold my hand tight,
we'll never reach the sky, falling back to where the dreams die,
i don't want the light, i want the dark and the cold to hold me all night,
i wasn't told you'd have to earn the fun by setting fire to the paradise,
i'll set fire to the paradise, and we'll both burn in hell for an eternity,
there's no love for me in this city, i'd have to leave you by your side,
take away my vice, travel all the way away never sin and be nice,
so i can learn how to keep you in, read in ink, breathe and win,
every battle that i wasn't prepared when you looked at me and clicked your heels thrice,
it's not paradise, if you need to survive, i've only died like twice,
and a million times more only to come back alive,
it's not para-dise, if it can-not die.

:count to five: :be dead:

there's no brain in my head, every time i take a breath, i go back to bed,
it's hard to fight the loneliness when you're not well,
i go back to myself, strangle myself, angle myself from a high and jump,
my brain made me do so many stupid things that i became a joke,
now i don't suffocate when i choke, get high when i smoke,
turn the wheels when i walk, i talk stupid when i talk,
on purpose i sting and shock, close the doors, burn and lock,
all that i have learned is that i have turned into a clown,
with tears in my eyes and words on my lips,
enough stings to sing them something that brings them the bliss,

but they've to all go back before it's nine,

these *******' lovers are so hard to find, i don't trust them with all my mind,
end these times, with fake *** people and their feeble kind,
the **** gets deeper the more you grind, and it's ain't a hole if it's a *****,
take me for my rudnes but i can't be that blind,
i've seen the signs, i've served my crimes, don't look at me like you can't bear me,
like i'm so ugly that you don't even feel me,
i've been left behind, and now it's just me and sadness,
talking about how i'll never be fine, my heart's telling me it's my time,
that's it for me, world wants to get rid of me, i don't belong,
and every thought in my head feels so negative and wrong,
it's just the narrative, trust me it's many more times more strong,
it's so cold where i sit that i'm sure of it, i'm sure i'll freeze everything that warms,
so i never find myself not numb, i'm not that dumb, but i hope i never find myself  in your arms,
i hope you forget me, delete me, count to five and i'll be gone,
some people never get to build a home, for they're the storm,
everything comes and goes, they've come and gone, earned and known,
made whole and be torn, into a million pieces to be born again,
over and over again, until the wheels stop rollin',
the voices stop callin',
there's nobody waiting,
so start walking back to where you are,
the night is full of stars,
and the wheels are still rollin'
stop controllin' and you'll reach where you are,
the light is full of scars,
so switch off the lights, and the tears will stop falling,
there's nobody else strolling in the lanes where you find yourself today,
i won't be loved by nobody, until i dive into a grave some-day,
wearing black, everybody would come around to give respect that would have nothing to say,
nobody cares for you like you do for the man in the mirror night and day,
but the man in the mirror has someone else in his eyes all day,
so blind, enchanted by the shine, of an artificial sun,
that'll burn everyone if the reflection stays.


i've come and gone in so many ways, that now i'm just tired-
that it's the time i count to five, and burn my-self in the fire.

do you want to die?
he kept staring in the mirror
do you want to die?
and he kept staring at the picture
no words nor whispers
only silence
burning his skin
numbing his breath
subduing the voices
crawling inside his head
with a static smile
eyes red
he kept staring at the wall
in a hope to forget
Death
Dread
and all the little things

h


h













        H O P E













The little child kept walking through the forest. Only ever stopping to look around to make sure nobody was following him. He was running away from home.


















His home was a thousand miles away from where he was at the moment. Afraid and lonely. It felt only yesterday when he sat by the window within the warmth of his home.
















Now all he saw was strange and confused. His eyes were having a hard time adjusting to the frequency of this wander land.















There was something barren in life here. Something felt made up and painted. There was no taste in the air. There was no feel to the wind.


















Yet, he kept walking on. In silence and alone. He was sure nobody else survived. He was sure he was going no where.



















And just before he was about to give up. There was a flash in the sky. So bright that the sky almost melted into a night. He felt it.
















He felt it rising through the wind. It was making his heart beat faster. The bright light burst into a big cloud of fireball, almost divine by design.











The little child closed his eyes and bent down on his knees. This was salvation.

A few seconds later, he was torn apart in pieces.














h

hey there my pretty princess
all you have to do is say yes
you feel so good in my arms
please love do not leave yet

help me keep my soul wintry calm
take me before the sun sets
without you my heart will mourn
break into nothingness you've never felt

I will be drawn into another storm
unlock the cage where demons dwell
I know there would be nothing left
and I know you'll never be able to tell

where did howling rain meet the eyes
and where the lonely tear fell
Keep me from your poisoned smile
you're the dream I can never sell

standing there you look so lovely
there is nothing more I crave
then to love you absolutely adorably
please come here near and save

me from wanting you so madly
or I would be consumed and fade
and you won't find a trace of me sadly
go away before you make me your slave

rest in peace
inside my mind, in my heart
with love and the pieces

you never know what you're
about to learn, or burn

until it reaches the throne
on the stone, the third rock
beyond the shine, where you've
been seated.

here without you,
i too have - all i've ever needed
the secrets, and the pages

and nobody can read it.

and you can bleed it, feed it,
you're my only, the only i have
ever needed.

here without you
i'll try to fill myself with
everything you've left me behind

i'll set myself on fire
and lock myself in, in time,

maketh the man,

and keep it.

---

hello darkness my lone friend
tell the truth of what we've become

i can't see in the dark
and i know you're lost too
without a clue in the blues
breathing in the violet violence

listening to the silence
waiting for us to make a sound

but no one's ever gonna
come around

and the day will go on
just the same, here without you

we'll never be found in our pains
and that's all there is to it


six feet deep into the ground
heart first into the coal

and the charcoal skies still speak
of the rains that drowned out the noise
and they ******* scream about you

they scream in my brain
and they dream in my heart
they find a way to tear me apart
but they find a reason to make me
fear the shards, the sharp and sharks

swimming, and breathing a firestorm
and there are no angels only a
thunderstorm, bleeding what is gone

---
written in the stones
on the snow covered trees
and i swear, i'll miss your voice
for as far as i can see

and i'll make your void
a part of me, as far as i'm free

and i swear, i'll love you today
and i promise i'll love you
now and every day for the rest
of my life, here without you

so, sleep my child
and i'll be there for you
singing to you a new lullaby
every night for the rest of
my life, here without you

and i don't care
if nothing again is ever
about you

and i won't fear even
if ever it starts to pain again

i'll be here, i swear,
here without you.

here without you,
and always be about you.

and i'll be here till i hear,
i will, and i swear, until you
make me find a reason
to remind me,

nothing is, and will be
ever without you

here without you.

I get some satisfaction
when I'm feeling down

ejaculations in imagination
education profound

Inclination to temptations
sipping tears of a clown

back to the same question
as to when I'll be found

so many laws of attraction
flaws wear the crown

I don't know if it's suffocation
but some minor distractions
have found their way around

my head is filled with explosions
heart torn in so many portions
and yet nothing makes a sound

numb with all these sensations
I'm feeling drowned

I get some satisfaction
when I'm falling down

Love is strange. It is even more stranger when you're a man. It's stranger than a woman's love. It's different than love of a parent for his child. It's different than almost any love out there. And it's because nobody really talks about it. Nobody is really sure because men are like that. We'll always be like that.


Because when a man loves he is ready to die, die for people who he has never met. Die for people he cares about. Die for nothing. Because a man won't love you with all his heart, no, that's not enough for any man i know out there. You see, unlike women, men love with all their soul. I know you'll stop me here for a moment and tell me that i am wrong and that a women loves as much as a man does, that there's no difference in the amount of love, because love is after all just love. I agree. All I'm saying is, it's different in its quality than quantity. It's a different way of loving and that cannot be untrue. For all there is, and all that has been said. There'll always be a difference between a man and a woman. It's the way it should be. Because they complete each other in ways they can't be on their own. A woman might love diamonds because it makes her feel beautiful. A man buys a Ferrari because he finds it beautiful. A subtle difference and a bad example. But a difference nevertheless. I'm not sure what I have in me that wants to express this part of me as I write this. Maybe it's because I am a man and i'm not made to understand the mechanism of love. I'll just love her if I find her beautiful and she'll be beautiful not because she is, but because I find her beautiful. That's the most simplest way I can explain how any man loves. Note there's still a hint of ego somewhere because a man will always love with all his soul and by extension, his ego will be there somewhere. That's not necessarily bad, it cannot be, anything which makes us human, makes us human. A woman will always entertain a mans flaw. A man will fall in love with hers. A woman has enough strength to leave somebody she may love. I don't think men can do that, a man, i think cannot ever leave somebody he loves truly. Even if he knows his presence is negative, that it would be better if he walks away, he won't. Because men are designed to fight till the end. Because he will fight for you, if he loves you, even when he knows he'll lose. That's how a man loves, and you know why ?, because he was to make a woman fall in love with him. If only that was easy.

there's nothing but silence-
or maybe,
silence and nothing.

is there a way to feed on the silence,
if not-
would i be hungry forever ?
i seek solitude in disguise,
served in solace-
with a hint of serenity in embers.

but i am sure,
it must feel alone-
for we haven't seen each other
in a while.

it's so exhausting to walk so many miles.
only to find scars and a barren land,
i hope someday i would understand,
why i see a man-
when i stare at the night sky.

the time swept the tides,
and now i see no moon-light.
only street-lights grace this oasis -

made of star-dust,
but a heaven no more.

pillars of concrete emotions,
rise through the air.
who ate the sky, i wonder,
who could ever dare ?

it's not yet five in the morning,
but it feels so close.

i left my dreams to die, again-
and yet i feel no remorse.

there's nothing but silence-
or maybe,
silence and nothing,

but i still breathe,
and then some more.

falling like rain all my scars are drowned
I've been eating pain and I'm wearing a crown
a king without a kingdom
what was that sound ?
am I the only one
i can't hear what's around
made in ground
buried in the sky
so far away from this place
that I've lost my count
I own nothing inside of me
everything feels
feels something stranger than normal
and how i lost everything
when I was found
how quickly they forget
world's not round
it's stretches as far as your mind
but what do I know
I'm just a clown
breathing my own tears
in fear of my living planet
do you see me smile
why do you have to lie ?
don't you know
I'm never coming down
I don't care
if that's all I'll ever get
everything there's to me
I'm not bound
to your laws and creed
I'm free
far from your world
and all your lies
anything that shines
is not necessarily  light
at the end of the tunnel
sometimes it's just the sun
staring down on you
inches away from your face
as you finally perish in the sky
just when the rain comes down

You say there's a gloom in my presence and grey in my eyes
That i look the same but something in me is not alright

You say there's something about me that misses the eyes
That there is so much more to me that i try to hide


You say there's an aura of mystery in the words i bear
That i am what i am not in the shadows that i do wear


You say I'm different than any other person you've met
That I'm not easy to remember but very hard to forget



And all i can see are the lips moving and you keep getting away
I know it's hard for you to digest but i was just born this way


I had my share of the traumas but they weren't carved in stones
Sometimes they're already there before one is even born


Some scars don't reflect on the surface, you have to dig deep
Some eyes don't have tears even when the heart does weep


I wasn't made into what i am, it always flowed in my veins
Some hearts are filled with it, some are just born with pain


You say i always lie that i have walked on a different way
But look in my eyes can't you see that i was just born this away

I often remind myself that I am still breathing,
that I'm not drowning in the air struggling to dream again.

I keep walking in a hope that someday I can leave those voices behind,
I have always wondered if there is more in my head than just my mind.

I pretend to be human, I pretend whatever they wish for me to be,
I keep staring in the mirror for hours, where am I.. where is he?

I question my sanity because I fear I do not belong to this place,
I am afraid what I'll find when I peel away this rotten face.

my teeth bite into my skin when I'm scared of them hearing my soul,
I choke myself in pieces till I cannot hear myself no more.

sometimes I find myself drowning in the cold winter air,
I struggle to dream again and find myself in a nightmare.

I wish there was more to this world than I was taught as a child,
I'm just one of the skeletons burning in the rotten pile.

I draw shapes to my scars in order to find the meaning of my pain,
I do not feel anything anymore until I hurt myself again.

I'm burning within my cold skin, I am ready to ignite,
I see all these people walking who aren't even alive.

I wish I could take a life, I wish I could be better than this,
I know there is more but the dessert mean nothing to a fish.

I am fading away into the stark darkness that follows our lives,
I often remind myself that I'm breathing,
but I am not alive.

this day too will end
with nothing for us to keep
and I'll miss you my friend
wherever this road may lead

and I'll remember all of you
long after when we'll have to leave
for there's a part of you here too
here inside with my heart-beat

and I'll keep you from leavin'
when the clock tells me I'm too old
for you made me smile when I was weepin'
in your arms I found the warmth from cold

and I remember all those times
when I was dreamin' of your face
you'll always have a part in me
and nobody can take your place

I'll speak to you in our memories
and all the beauty that you bear
I know it's going to hurt eventually
but I won't change a thing we shared

and I'll always be just a dream away
from being with you as we were before
I hope it wasn't like this and we could stay
I'll miss us when we won't be here no more



what a beautiful day to live for.

i don't remember
the voice i found so
beautiful, a while ago,
nor do i recall the warmth
that ruined me for any
winter to come

now it doesn't grow-
what you made me become
the night and horror
comes and goes,
but it is, now just this
another thing,
with a scar on her skin

when i tasted the lows,
i wasted all my sins-
i remember the choice,
but no voice, it's a while since
i heard anything sing

i remember
more than i miss,
i reminisce-
caught in my thoughts
to rot, and in draught,
a desert to suffice-
my thirst for what
i don't remember at all-
and my vice

there are walls,
as tall as the universe
and as mighty as,
the distance, an invisible
resistance, now that the
world is more dangerous-
for it burned down my
world, for being too humble-

i can barely mumble,
your presence across the
years i have withered,
but i remember, a december
you were still a part of me

is that all it takes,
to be entangled-
enchanted forever ?

there will still be
a heart, in somewhere there,
if you take apart all of me

walking on hues
breathing in your cold
story's old now
but the world is new

and it feels so empty without
you here now,
when there's nobody to hold-

the folly is sold now
and all there's left,
is you

and the winter in my arms
scream again,
and i know

pain isn't that far

wandering away
as i reach for the sun
i know the world will
have my heart

it'll have all of you
with nothing to spare

and i'll swallow the same songs
get drunk on the same air,

without you here
and it won't mean a thing
one sin for one more
ever more, and for everything

and yeah, i will cry
when it's gets cold

but i'll be glad because
you left me that could
mean something,

and i'm still here in,
living in these whispers
not ready to let go by

the only love
i've ever known
the only forest
that was grown


every time you smiled for me,
to me, there was a seed sown

and now it's growing high,
orphaned, and i wonder often

if i would still feel
what i did, when i lost
myself in your arms,

or have i forgotten,
and there's only an ocean
with nothing inside
to keep it warm

and i've drowned
in my own sorrow

and now all around me
i feel the still, the stir-
of the hollow,

i see the shadow
of your shelter

and i can't find-

but i remember,
what it felt to be so warm
in your arms, that time-

and somehow everything
is better, when you're playing
on my mind,

and the rains
don't feel as beautiful
as they used to

here on the outside,
without you

and don't you hear me scream,
how far away are you ?


but how far is enough,
for the world to fade  
before i stop breathing,
in every breath you take ?

is this world ever going
to be enough to keep
you away

from ever wandering in
my mind ?

is there a way,
from where i am-
straight to you

and to a world
where you still smile for me,
to me, a world that is kind-


and now when i look
in the mirror,
there's not a whisper of you
and i wish i was blind,


you made me see,
what it felt to be on the ground
and feel like flying,

to be corny, and somehow
everything was fine,
around you-


around you it never felt lonely,
but i forgot i was never
the only one.

we do things, we say things and so we breathe,
we love things- far away things, and so we bleed-

some blue things, some red ones, and some come with ink,
some done in dusk, some burn to dusk, some are green-

some new ones, and the old ones, and some with the sheen,
turned into a few guns, two bullets- one cold sun,
and one with a dream.

and I do things, i f*ckin' say things, and so i greed,

i brew in ink and then i glue my sins, i sew the smoke rings- and then I grieve;

i confuse things- in a few drinks, and the smoke will be freed

so, I can feed- forever, going 'round in circles.  whatsoever for, sleep ?

the city held me in her arms
and told me not to look—

close your eyes,
she whispered,

don’t let your silence
spill into the streets.

let the birds sing,
let the lovers live
and dance.

there is no need here
for someone like you,

with your night
and broken bones,

your silence that grows
roots.

go quietly,
let the light pass you by—

we are a place of the living,
and you are made
of yesterday.

we're last
of us

made in ruins
of summer

by unwritten
morrow

the last of sun
and moon

last of the stars
etched in gloom

the ends of the
lasting winter

of passing autumn
caught in a tomb

smitten by the
sorrows

and flowers
in bloom

I think I am dying

Why do you say that  ?

I don't know , I'm lost

Can you come back ?



I lost myself today
Even more than I wanted to be
Maybe I'll go away
There're things I don't want to see

I escaped myself today
To be lost in the angry sea
Every drop is a new way
But I'm just too blind to see

I killed myself today
A dream that wanted to be free
But I wanted to stay
Maybe someone would've found me


What have I become
so many years and tears of guilt
Can I ever be one
With a heart that this pain built
You can see me fall
As I let go of your hand my friend
I will leave it all
And I'll be gone away  in the end


All I wanted was to live
life never gave me a chance to win
As I went deeper into the night
Every light started getting dim

I walked on without a pause
There was nothing that I could do
The road behind got so lost
I Couldn't return when I wanted to


Now every part of me is dying
I decay with every whisper I make
More lost with every answer I find
I fade away with every step I take


What have I become
Just a memory of my yesterday
Can I ever return
In those moments I want to stay
if I can't have it all
I've to let go of your hand my friend
I have to leave it all
And I'll be gone away in the end




I never wanted this to be real
But my dreams got the best of me
And now the wounds won't heal
Now please let me go , let me be

Every breath is like an arrow
Piercing right through my heart
Every moment is now sorrow
the darkness is falling apart

And I can see what I couldn't
Behind the clouds i can see me
I can reach but I wouldn't
Those moments , just let them be

And if I ever get born again
I want to be stronger than I am and i ever was
I know there'll always be pain
But can it find me , If I had always been this lost ?


What have I become
A ghost that may never leave
Will I ever return
In time to find the real me
You can have it all
Every last part that belongs to me
Make yourself a new doll
And Everything will be there but me

searching through the pages,
reaching for the faded, hate it,
when the words speak back to me,


a room full of empty spaces,
there's this gloom inside of me,
and i hate it, wait for it, don't say it,
there's a world where it will forever be

every thought you whisper,
there's a place and time
to rot and wither,
don't mind the intrusion,
there's no illusion, only
confusion and this winter,

no delusion for the sinner,

if there's a she,
fill her

if there's a he,
**** her

don't do the math,
you'll go mad, don't look at
the man in the mirror,
there's nothing to understand,

what's gold will glitter
what's good will trigger
what's god fill figure out,
how to deal with dealers,

how to steal from stealers
there's no way to know about,
if we'll ever manage to heal her,
now that there's no dealer,

and we can't deal her,
what if he needs her ?

the man's age is not
what kills the *******,
the face can fade, can fake,
but not fool the reader,

there's so much to forsake,
you're so mistaken, if you think
you've taken more than you can
make, there's no heaven,

they don't tell,
but there's no hell

nobody left here to sell
no god nor satan,

so be lost or search for
a safe haven, there's this
urge inside of me to purge,
to lust and love, to ****** the
order and trust my imagination,

i want to feel the rush,
there's nothing as such, as much,
as a touch of annihilation,

there's more to the equation,
my mind is done with invasions

i need something more to grow
in this winter, something sinister,
to sow them seeds and linger,


to know when to bleed and
trick her, she already knows
too much so, breaker-
break her, he wasn't made for her,
so, take her, taker, give her back,
no giver, grieve for her,
don't leave her,

paint her, oh, painter-
paint her black,
if you breathe her,
she'll just make you sad,
don't treat her bad,
she's a reaper, she'll reap you
in pieces,

so let go and don't feed it,
don't feel it, you'll get used to it,
get confused by it, you'll know
when to get abused by it,
you'll know when to let yourself
be fooled by it, in a heart-beat,
only to repeat it,

the pain don't keep it,
the name, burn it,
if you see something strange
learn it, you won't earn ****,
but at least the leash won't be
on it, on here, on my neck,

on air, speaking torment,
screaming scared-
sacred fears and lies, with
fractured lips and eyes,

say hate and die
so, wait and pry-

don't burn the pages
don't turn the spaces
there's nothing in-between,


this world, it's faded-
my eyes red, and so sedated,
my head filled with smoke,
oh, how much i hate it-
when i start to lose control,
to find, nothing had ever been,

and it was all a dream,

there's always something
to scream,
there's always a place for me
to linger,
these words, they ink on me,
and i wither,

of all that they say to me, they
don't mean, what they seem-
as they whisper,

spring and winter,
they just don't talk

with all that love untold,
kept in a box of a paradox,

stop.

rot.

triggered.

the day
is lost

i sit in
defeat

it's a lonely
place

of fractured
memories

and boarded
windows

there's
nothing
to do

the world
must keep
spinning

until i fall
asleep

it stops
for no one

thoughts breeding in my head
stop bleeding or i'll be dead

stop repeating or i'll forget
what i never knew

before it's too late
let me sleep, let me rest
or i'll fade

let me dream lest
i'll be just like you
always awake  


forest seeding my regret
please don't scream yet

let the animals
first reach the boat
tears drain down
my throat

before the fear rains
and drowns us whole

let me dream lest
i'll be just like you
without a soul

without a whole
wandering in parts
torn apart

so hated,


sitting on an empty stomach
so isolated.

ten heads and two eyes,
with a thousand in my mind;
reminding me
of the world i smoke

the tears i choke on
and the fears i hold onto
as the cold sets in

i beg my sin,
to set me free

free from this pain,

i close my eyes,
somebody counts to three

and just like that,
i've lost my heart again
to the storms and the sea

sharks and sparks
and a fire that remains

burning for an eternity
but not for us,

us, they don't love
us, they despise

for we don't belong
in their homes,
hung on their walls

because they cannot
tell, what is hell,
what's worth of heaven;
when they see us-
us, so tiny and small

so fragile and brittle
with our vile words, this world
and what's our, and little-

pretending to be sane,
as we look in the mirror

so, i say
why suffer ?

and i say,
why keep the monster's
and the demon's in ?

they don't care about us,
or what we keep from them
inside us, burning us,
poisoning us deep within,

so, i say
why suffer ?

let them pay,
let them wither

let the devil sing


storms and monsters in the air,
rivers running dry for our creed,

greed and men and women shine,
with bright lights they bought for free

smoke finds its way around
back to the lungs those spark the fire
and melt into the sea

drowning in your arms
before there's nothing left to see

before the world is left to die
in your beautiful eyes

and we all perish
on the count of three

so, let the devil sing
let the evil in your heart sin

so, let the mirror grin
back to reflections in the void,
back to black where it came from
a blacker noise,

through the storms and the nights
hollow calm and your arms

holding onto my deceased life,
my december ruins and spring

so, why don't you let the devil sing
and make him take away all our pain ?

why don't you burn this world down
and make something better once again ?

let the devil sing,
with all the evil in your heart
and don't be scared;

for when you open your eyes
there's nothing there.

no love, no air,
only the ruins.

broken moon and stars,
dead things and your broken heart,

beating, repeating,
with colours and sin;

so, let the devil sin,
let him win, once-

and see the sea burn.

they sought me in whisper
in colours they could find

they painted of me a picture
of a man bitter and confined

they found me in winter
a song frozen in time

they caught me - a sliver
symphony of the mind

they bought me in silver
treasure of the divine

they divide me in scripture
then imprison me in science

they cast from me a river
of melancholy and wine

they ask of me a mirror
to show them they're blind

how do you write
things you want to tell
paint them with colours
by words, them heaven and hell.


fill it up with something
beautiful, something that
won't hurt the reading eye


how do you describe
a feeling, a feeling
you would rather hide.








is it strange to seek
a home without walls ?







is it not the normal-
to breed comfort and
a smile, in a world
you don't fully understand.


what about those scars-
those which make you,
you.


and what do you see,
when you see a sea of blue-
an ocean or the sky ?


birds or fish,
is it selfish to see
what you'd rather see
in a sea, that has nothing
to offer.


i remember when the laughter
used to fill the vacuum,
and i could breathe, as free
and as clear as on a mountain,
miles away from the pollution
down below.


hello. are you still there ?
do you hear me screaming,
do you hear me dying.


how low, is the rock bottom.
i've been falling for a while.


or is it that, i'm flying ?

stuck in a vortex,
a void devoid of any voice

a noise poised in a pause,
lost in thoughts,
caught in a rot,
making pretty children
out of clay,

hold your breath
don't run,

there's an ugly
out break far away

stay inside and keep warm
slay in style and feed worms

delay the sky from
deliverance, and seed storms,

so that the black eye
and the black dye

can read between the lines,
of all the things in my mind

dreams and memories
howl the most,

between sharks and owls,
i stay awake,

in the forests, by the trees,
beneath the oceans,
under siege,

and i wonder
i wander
for the famine to leech
and bleach away the surface

the complex layer,
that ever was,

and cradle me
in the depths of its conscious

where even the simplest
of universe makes sense,

not like this room
here, and her cold walls

not like the empty chair,
questioning an existence

nor the winds, that screams
against the window,

this grey and moist
and cold and ugly
and away and destroyed
and sold and ***** place,
keeps a face

in the mirrors,
and its peoples

with arms, legs and hearts

made to catch me
and latch onto me,

between smoke and
the vapour
bleeding me dry,
as i lie to myself

that it's only on the paper.

wake, i'm waiting in my sleep
hate me if you have to,

here have two,
take this and blind me,
and tell me so-

do you still love me ?
love me in everyway i need you to
i need you to fill me,

blue and through, me and you
confused by the passing afterthought

i'm going back and forth
glancing at the hands of the clock
why don't you fall into my arms
and make the tick tock go away

we can sit and talk
about life and so much more
all you have to do is be here

and all you have to do
is hear me sing your name

so come before i wake
and the poison leaves my veins

run to me before the sun
swallows my hate for you

and these hollow words
paint us into a new story

that a billion years from now
won't even matter

the forever we promised
broken into pieces
that no one will ever gather

what does it take
for the dreams to be strung together ?
such that they never break
no matter how many times we do


and such is the weather
the sky grey and the winds with blues
how much of mind does one need
to feel better ?

when it's never going to be your day ?


for the heart's been broken
since the day we said our good-byes

and we're all just drops in an ocean
watching the land drift away beneath
our feet,

away from our eyes-
and all the hunger we seek,

so just a moment more
i need to find you in my head

just a moment more
and then we'll all be dead

and i can go back to sleep

©writeweird