I am lost.
How can I fix this?
Which pills work the best?
Handfuls upon handfuls
Of tainted emotion
Robotic and soulless.
I dream and pretend
With justification
And self denials.
I need help.
I have been drawn
Towards my old habits
Of blissful *****
And handfulls of fixed happiness.

Ignorance is bliss
i dont like feeling
im sitting on a broken record
that keeps replaying
through the same crooked
emptiness

i..i dont even know what i want to say....
my inspiration is hallow.
I cannot seem to dig deep enough
to actually feel
to actually breath
and understand
all of the thoughts
drifting through my head.
the thoughts are like ghosts.
i am haunted

we are all trying
to pull all of our thoughts together
so that we might understand
the meaning
of what it is to be ALIVE
but right now they are just lines
systematically following each other
with no common theme.
its all gibberish
rambling
similar to a city
after a tsunami
washed out and faded
with the wreckage
built up
from old memories

(At least you know
You are on my subconscious
Even if I doesn't seem like it)

"I like you better
When you are drunk"
If you understood
Why I drink
Would you feel
The same way.

When you told me you loved me
I could barely breathe
Never would I ever suspect
To be so happy
Everything feels
Right when I'm with you

I know I am in love with you
I have known for a while now
I just didn't know how to say it
Until you said it first

In a crowded room
We escaped
Ran outside
And twirled
Spinning in circles
Glow sticks in hand
Just like the alcohol
I let the toxins drip
All over me

I have lost track
Of the smoke
And cold breath
A hand-rolled cigarette
Sits between my teeth
Along with many
Other things

The words
I am too afraid to speak
Slip underneath my tongue
And dissolve with another drink

My feet felt heavy
Two-thousand thirteen
Was quickly escaping
Last year was flushed away
By champagne and a fresh taste of human skin
At 12:01

Do you think we will be
Astronauts
One day?
And will that
Separate our hearts
Galaxies apart
Or will we be strong
And hold onto each other
As I wait for the stars
To lighten up your eyes
Because your eyes
Always brighten up mine

Do you think
One day
We could
Sail across the sea
On a hand-stitched ship
In a wild storm?
In my dreams
We are floating
Above the sea
Without parachutes
Why can't we float
Without parachutes
Right now?

Oh hello again
Familiar feelings
Feelings of vacancy

I remember
When I thought
I could fly

I remember
Learning about
Gravity

Hello again
Old feelings
I remember
How empty I was

I remember
Floating
It only lasted a sort while
Then time went by
As I was deflated

Falling is a  familiar feeling

This desire keeps coming back
It wont escape me
Every single dream
Emptiness escapes
I suffocate every time

Mistakes keep coming back
One after the other
Rows and rows
Reminders
Of the emptiest time
In my life

Why
Do
You
Keep
Coming
Back?