To find the light through isolation is not to live in fear, fear will win, but to live cautiously, is where “normal “ can start to begin...

We’ve been caught in a dream
More like a nightmare where no end can be seen
Waiting impatiently, searching for the light that seems so far away
Praying to see that day
Emotions swirl out of control
The weight of the world slipping through our fingertips
Trying the grasp a sense of normality while compiling to the rules
Stay at home
Wear a mask
Social distance
6 feet apart
Quarantine
No friends
No family
No gatherings
No life
But yet let’s spin this just a little bit....

Families that are “ normally” so wrapped up in sports, activities, work etc
Are now eating dinner at a reasonable time ( at home)
Spending this time with their children
Going on walks through nature
Having “ campfires” in their backyards
Baking and cooking together
Catching up on life ( together)
It may not seem normal for this day and age but for me growing up this is what is was like everyday
Family dinners
Playing outside
Spending precious time together
Learning about one another
As much as this is a scary and an unknowing time
Find the positive through darkness making light in these uncertain times....

Staying at home during this time is hard as if you feel you can’t do anything and have boundaries
Working as essential workers during this time is hard as your work days becomes more stressful, overwhelming and mentally and emotionally draining

Those who want to get back to work and those who want a break...
It’s not an easy hurdle to jump as both sides are no easy task whatsoever
All we need to have is respect for EVERYONE, essential workers and those who are “stuck” at home
Everyone is in the same boat so to speak and we are all trying to stay afloat in one way or another
Hopefully, soon, life will start to go back to “ normal living” but for now we wait and continue on this path
Respect And love is what we all need to show during these uncertain times
Letting us all heal and restart our lives, in due time....

Discoloration in a snowy
No signal picture
Black
And white
Words decide
Pixilated billboard
Red
Swollen eyes
Moving forward
One
Day at a time
Tiny bubbles
Floating
To the top
A big surprise
Mouth
Has dropped
Candles flickering
Wind
Blowing still
Falling asleep
Dreams
Are real
Waking up
Before
You drop
Standing on
The edge
Of a big
Rock
Mindless
Entertainment
Makes no
Sense
But maybe it
Does
Thirst quench
Hydration needed
Gulping down
Fill my
Body
With this
Drink
It’s never to
Late
Post haste

Why is there always that one person to take everything out of context or make completely no sense in what is actually being said or done?

When I open my mouth not a sound comes out
I can't speak for there is no more reason for me to talk
The music plays in the background and my heart fills with joy
Suddenly it makes sense to try to make a sound
The vibration in my head and in my throat begin to shake
I close my eyes, lift my head and the soundtrack to my life begins to pour out of me
No one can hear me when I talk
But when the noise becomes music to everyone ears
I am loud
I am proud
I am the lyrics to my own thoughts and life struggles I have been through
Words do not form when I talk but the lyrics to ones own sound is the music to thy owns life

Come in close
Hold me tight
Leaving no space between us
Having no end in sight
As for when the stars shine bright
The sun will rise again
We have each others hearts
Always in our hands
When we feel down
Like when the sun sets at night
We’ll hold one another
With all of our might
Feeling safe with you
In all that we do
You love me
Always and forever
I
L
O
V
E
Y
O
U

The days go by as your counting time
It feels like it’s just flying by or is time standing still
Is this all a drill?
How do you feel?
Is there a magic pill to release this pain before we all go insane or is it just to late ?
Can we wrong our mistakes and grow from this and get back to happiness
Not taking for granted the times we shared and no longer be scared
Removing this bubble we all live within getting back to where we left off and try to begin, again
Take a step back and be grateful for life even if it’s just through a window pane
At least we see you and that’s keeping us sane
For now, this is the new norm as we all wait for this passing storm
To heed away and get back to our daily lives
Where we once left off, this virus, may be some of our demise
Hiding the mask of things we didn’t want to show
But just so you know
YOU ARE NOT ALONE....

Your not alone even when you think you are, open your heart and express yourself, you may change you and someone else...

Unspoken word
Your not alone
Shedding light
Unto your darkness
Walking hand in hand
Even when we are apart
Forever and always
Your in my heart
The past
The present
The future
All are in existence
When hopes and dreams
Become a reality
Then, too, you will start to
Believe in spirituality
Of that which you cannot see
But only in your dreams...

You are not afraid, Your cautious

You are not angry, Your overwhelmed

You are not sad, Your disappointed

You are not ( always) happy, Your stressed

You are not, ALONE

The light is turned off but doesn’t mean it’s broke, the fire is still inside of you even if it’s glowing low…

Note to self:

Today you woke up
Embrace the day
Start a new page
Fill it up with knowledge
Make memories
Love yourself
Say thank you
Feel blessed
Say a prayer
Close your eyes
Dream
Repeat....

Note to self...

There’s nothing in the world better then knowing
I have you by my side and my biggest support

Just because you grew up with nothing
Doesn’t mean your nothing

Just because you grew up with everything
Doesn’t mean your everything

Let that sink in for a moment...

I want you to notice me
Yet when you come around
It’s always me you never see
Looking right past me
Never acknowledging me
Seeing right through me
Like I’m a ghost who’s walking right through you
Capturing your soul and your heart
Since the day we have been torn apart

You feel like your lost
Even though you are not
Your finding yourself
That’s been hidden for sometime

The other night I had a dream....
....I can’t stop thinking about it and what it really means....
It weighs on my mind and on my heart...
I don’t even know how to think or where to start....
Maybe it was telling me that my dream will never happen...
Having a family with you.....
Eyes fill up with tears, even after almost 10 years
Guess it’s just not meant to me...

Something I’ve longed to be
Finally happened to me
Unfortunately
It wasn’t meant to be (at this time)
I’ll push through
I am strong
I hope your up in heaven
Where God thought you belonged...

Something I’ve longed to be
Finally happened to me
Unfortunately
It wasn’t meant to be (at this time)
I’ll push through
I am strong
I hope your up in heaven
Where God thought you belonged..

When you know in your heart that a goodbye is soon to happen to your pet... not ready but know it’s soon....

A symbol of faith
A part of history
Worshiped prayers
Stained glass windows
Gargoyle statues
Architectural beauty
Heart of Paris
Up in flames
Smoldering down
Now it falls
Hearts breaking
Sad day in history
As millions throughout the world have seen
Experiencing the masterpiece and pure beauty in this gothic creation
As it is Holy Week, around the world
We celebrate the rise and fall of life itself
Hoping that God will restore structure and life through the rubble and ashes
Symbolizing what God did for us, all of us...
We may not know or understand why, but we will always remember to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and rise above it all

“There exists in this era, for thoughts written in stone, a privilege absolutely comparable to our current freedom of the press. It is the freedom of architecture.”
Narrator from The Hunchback of Notre Dame

I'm sorry I couldn't make you a father
I guess that wasn't in Gods plan for us
I want nothing more then to have a family with you
Trying so hard but our dream doesn't come true
I know you would be an amazing dad
But no matter what I am so happy I have you
In my life
Always and forever
And maybe someday
Our dreams will come true

Was not meant to be
But you lived happily
Creating memories
That you will carry
Always in your heart
Even if the time was short
Everything ends up meaningfully
Although, in the end, was not to be

Twisted tales
Unraveled truth
Braided memories
Hearts bruised
Winding roads
Crossed paths
Left or right
No turning back...

I’m ready for this
I’m ready with you
Let’s take the jump
We’ve got nothing to lose

No
Words
Can
Also
Speak
A
Thousand
Words

The words are right on the tip of my tongue
But no words can I form....

To have
So many
Emotions
Feelings
Swimming through
Your body
Yet the biggest
Feeling is
Being completely
Numb

The numbness feeling you have when you have so many emotions swirling around but yet continuing to dig deep and sort them all out like a scattered puzzle that isn’t complete...

I am just so numb from the pain
Just waiting for you to snap again

My heart hurts
My heart is cold
That’s why I’m just
N      U      M     B
Deep
Down in my
s.   o.   u.    l.

It’s finally real
Your obituary come out today
It gave me the chills
To read of the life you had enjoyed
I’m glad I was involved
My heart continues to break
When will this pain subside for heavens sake
I want this weekend to past by fast
But in the same token I want it to go slow
On Saturday we’ll say our final goodbyes
I will be left broken on the inside...

Into the dark oblivion you will go
Only to find the mystical and colorful creative life, you’ve been looking to find

Follow me into the oblivion
Rip my heart out
Stomp on it like sin
Let the devil escape from your pores
Like a bad case of acne ready to pop
Leaving behind scars and sores
Release me from this pain you caused my heart
Why do I stand this
Why can’t we part
I’m captured under your spell without a voice
Trying to speak, yet don’t have a choice
My heart went up in flames
Disintegrating into dust
Particles melt through your fingertips like sand
I’m not sure how much more I can stand...

Walking across
A burning bridge
Trying to escape
But always getting burned
The oceans waves
Come crashing down
Dwindling the flames
Protecting thy self
Even the big obstacles
Can't stop you now
Continue to bounce back
Onto solid ground

Like a boat sailing in the wind
Crashes through the forceful waves
Pouring out your emotions like the fish swimming through the waters
The feeling of freeness as you release all the
Hurt
Pain
Anxiety
Sadness
Guilt
Confusion
Anger
But also having the feeling of love
As your surrounded and being engulfed by the simplicity of the open waters with no end in sight
Be fearless and release all the emotions out in the open
You’ll begin to feel the heaviness of the weight being lifted
Like the anchor being pulled out from the ocean deep
You still got fight left in you
Set sail across the great big ocean blue

Her eyes swell up with tears
Like the ocean, deep and wide
Filled with surprises through her deep blue colored eyes
Masking up her emotions, like a fish hiding in the night
From its prey, only coming to realize, she’s always seen, just not always in the spotlight

Ocean waves in your eyes
Crying begins at high tide
Tears are crashing
Emotions high
In your crystal
Ocean eyes

Your eyes are like the oceans waves
Crystal blue yet so full of life

Today I am picturing myself
With my feet in the sand
The sun beating down
The ocean waves crashing
The sounds of nature
Not a care in the world
Searching for happiness
Enjoying love and life
Only when I close my eyes
Envisioning this was true...
Ocean eyes are crystal blue

Eyes are like to ocean blue
Crashing like the waves, crying a few
Tears of happiness
Tears of joy
Tears a of sadness
Furthermore
Every emotion different at a certain time or place
No two ocean waves are the same…

The oceans waves flow back and forth never to repeat  the same path or pattern
We are all so wrapped up in repeating life's patterns never to acknowledge oneself
Underneath the oceans waves is a great way of thinking about life
As much as the life above the water, there is a whole world to explore underground
Take a step back
Explore a different pattern and walk of life
Sometimes you make it to the top
Sometimes you hang toward the bottom
Either way you keep pushing through the current dodging obstacles that will pull you under
At last one day you float to the sand and see a whole different perspective called life...

The oceans waves flow back and forth never to repeat the same path or pattern
We are all so wrapped up in repeating life's patterns never to acknowledge oneself
Underneath the oceans waves is a great way of thinking about life
As much as the life above the water, there is a whole world to explore underground
Take a step back
Explore a different pattern and walk of life
Sometimes you make it to the top
Sometimes you hang toward the bottom
Either way you keep pushing through the current dodging obstacles that will pull you under
At last one day you float to the sand and see a whole different perspective called life...