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Ashly Kocher May 2021
It’s ok.
I’m ok.
I’m smiling.
I’m breathing.
I’m alive.
I am me.
Hard times and good times, I am here.
Ashly Kocher Apr 2018
May not be good
May not be great
But I write from the heart
I am human
I make mistakes
I wrote this in my notes on my last post and really
Loved it.
Ashly Kocher Jun 2018
I don’t claim to be perfect
I don’t claim to always be right
I claim to be a human
And making mistakes is absolutely alright
Ashly Kocher May 2019
The questions isn’t “who are you or where are you”
But perhaps the answer is:
“ I am me, this is where I’m meant to be”
Stay Humble
Stay Strong
Stay You
Don’t Stray Away
From who you are
God made you this way (for a reason)
Ashly Kocher Jan 2020
Fear of changing who you are
Physically
Fear of disappointment
Fear of discrimination
Fear of change
Acceptance is fear itself
Being one person yet feeling like another
Wanting more then what you are now
Regardless of who I am
I am still a human being
I am still a child of yours
Young or old
Boy or girl
I need more
I want more
I am more
Don’t fear me
I already fear myself
I just want to be me
Whatever way that’s meant to be
I maybe saying goodbye to one person but another person is emerging
Help me
Not hurt me
Please
I am me
I’m tired of lying
Empty lies
Not feeling myself
It’s finally time
I shed my skin
Not feeling like who I am
The time is now to come alive
Not fearing what I feel I have to be
Not a monster, not a freak
Just be me
I wrote this for all those who fear why the world, friends or family will think of those wanting to change. It’s a scary world sometimes and we all need to be supportive and help those who feel like they can’t speak or be who they want to be.
#transgender #support #love #fear #help
Ashly Kocher Sep 2018
Forced to hold something in
Never to talk about it
Try and forget it
Asking yourself “did it really happen” or “am I making all of this up”
Simply because you can’t remember all the details
Eating away at you from the inside out, but never revealing the scars
Even if there is no physical scars to show
The scars are there, they are deep
Trying to heal yet get ripped open at the slightest remembrance of what you went through
Blank stare
Zoning out
Are you ok?
Yeah I’m “fine”
Constant lies to everyone because you don’t want the pity
Don’t want the “I’m so sorry”
Don’t want to be “that girl” ( or guy)
I just want to move on and forget it
Yet, it’s not possible
Not possible at all
One little thing can trigger that period in your life and time warp you back to the exact night or years your went through it
One minute your good, the next watch out
Wanting to crawl under a rock and cry, scream, yell “why me?”
Rocking away all the emotions flooding your brain
Trying so hard to remove that “so-called memory “ from your past files and deleting them...
But you can’t
You can’t at all
You will live with this the rest of your life
But it’s ok....
I went through it
I lived it
I made it
I conquered it
It will always be with me
But I am STRONG
I am who I am
I am ME TOO
Ashly Kocher Apr 2018
I am who I am
    This is me
      Because if I acted different
         Then it really wouldn’t be me
If you act differently around different people then is that really you?
Ashly Kocher May 2020
I blame myself
What if I would have known
Would the outcome be different
Guess I’ll never know
It just *****
I beat myself up
Its been something I’ve wanted
How did I not know?
For over 10 years, the answer was always no
So I had come to terms with that
Accepted it ( sorta) ya know?
Everything happens for a reason
I’m trying to think that way
But **** this is so hard to comprehend but maybe I’ll understand one day....
For those who didn’t see my other poems, I had a miscarriage last week and I’m trying to heal and process what has and is still happening....
Ashly Kocher Dec 2017
What if shouldn’t
                Be a phrase,
                  I
              CAN
                  I
              WILL...
Ashly Kocher Jan 2019
Encased by frozen waters
Drowning deep within
Hitting solid ice
Sinking further into sin
Trying to catch my breath
Focus in this blurriness
Dropping further to the bottom
Losing my willingness
To stay afloat
Be coherent
I can’t breath
I can’t bre
I can’t
I....
.....................
Ashly Kocher May 2019
Today’s challenge....

Say something nice to someone, anyone...
    No hate
         Just love
              Make a difference
                              In the world....
Make a change
     Breakaway from the mold of society
             Be the cause to brighten up someone’s day
          To all of you reading this....
You are all beautiful and smart
You are all unique with art
Following your heart
Be who you want to be
Our time here in the physical world
Should be spent being loved and happy
Ashly Kocher Jun 2021
You dare to dream
Oceans wide

You try to catch
Stars from the sky

You live everyday
Carefree and wild

You look at the world
Through the eyes of a child

Catch a dream, everyday, send it off into the world and pray….
Ashly Kocher Jul 2021
There’s a wish I pray
Every single day
For the good of one another
Sacrifice is key to unlocking your dreams
I dare you to try
Keeping the faith
But take it from me
I dare you to try
For your wishes are heard
Every single day
I dare you….
Ashly Kocher Apr 2020
I dare you
Through these challenging times
Challenge your mind
Do things and explore
Even if it’s just looking through the front door
Take in the beauty of this, the unknown
Finding the positives as you go
It may be hard
It may be overwhelming
It may be exhausting
It may be trying
Even for me, as I’m writing
The light is there
It may be dim
But it’s looking brighter from where we began
Take this all in and try to breath
I have a friend in you
You have a friend in me
I dare you
Through these challenging times
Challenge you own mind
I am going to try....
Ashly Kocher May 2019
Can you love,
Can you miss
Someone you
Never met
Carried
Birth
Met....

I do....
Ashly Kocher Apr 2017
My love
My world
My best friend
Butterflies flutter inside of me
Hold my hand
Kiss my lips
Hug me tight
Stare deep into my eyes
Say " I do "
I love you too
7 years later and this all still holds true.
My wedding anniversary is tomorrow. 7 years with my best friend. Couldn't be happier.
4-18-10
Ashly Kocher Apr 2018
Happiness is all around
Time can be turned upside down
Love is everlasting space
When I’m within your warm embrace
To have and hold your heart forever
Since the day we said “I Do”
My life has been tremendously better
A poem I wrote back in high school but added and changed a bit to for my life now.
Ashly Kocher Mar 2021
Half of my heart was given to you
The day we both said
“I DO”
Ashly Kocher Jul 2018
I don’t care
What y’all think
I’m Stronger then you know
So just keep judging me
Make your jokes
Make fun of me
Again, I don’t care
What y’all think
I do this for me
Fiction or fantasy
May not work for you
But it definitely works
Just fine for me
Ashly Kocher Mar 2018
You don’t care
Why should I?
Don’t say hello
I want to say goodbye

I don’t like you
Stop acting fake
Your attitude *****
Please just go away!
A fellow employee I really don’t like... had to get it off my chest.
Ashly Kocher Jul 2021
I drink
I speak
Truthfully
No smoke
No mirrors
Just being me
Unapologetically
Ashly Kocher Oct 2019
I think
Wait
I know
I
F
A
L
L
More in love
With you
As each passing day
The sun shines
The moon rises
The stars glow
As we kiss
Goodnight
I love you with all my might
Always and forever
You’ll be mine
Ashly Kocher Apr 2019
I fell
I got up
I tried again...
I fell
I got up
I tried again...
I
F
E
L
L
I got
       U
            P
I tried again...
I
Conquered
Don’t ever give up
You’ll make it someday
Ashly Kocher Mar 2018
I was never told “I can’t”
But I never want to hear those words

If I can’t have a baby with you
Then I don’t want a baby at all

I have you and that’s not important to me
A baby would be a blessing
To start a family

It’s not the end of the world
I still carry hope

But if I can’t have a baby with you
I don’t want a baby at all...
I was never told I can’t but hasn’t happened in 8 years.. still carry the possibility but I choose you over anything else
Ashly Kocher May 2019
If it offends you
Turn it off

If it offends you
Don’t listen to it

If it offends you
Don’t read about it

If it offends you
Change it

If it offends you...
I’m sorry
So many people offended by the littlest things anymore. Why must there be a huge uproar about certain things. This is our world. You don’t have to agree with everything but just be respectful.
Ashly Kocher Aug 2019
If only we could know what our animals were thinking and or feeling...
Ashly Kocher Mar 2019
If
Only...
We
Could
All
Smile
Like
We
Were
Actually
Happy
Ashly Kocher Jan 2019
I found you
In a time least expected
I found me
In the darkest of times  
I found us
Under the lights of the Ferris Wheel
You and me =
Forever Love
Always a best friend
Unconditionally holding my hand
Ashly Kocher Apr 2021
To walk upon the rocky road
To dim your own flame
Rise up from the ashes you made
Letting your soul ignite and spark
Allowing you to see the paved way
Guiding you to be empowered each and everyday...
Ashly Kocher Jul 2020
I hate goodbyes, I really do
But hopefully we will see you real soon
A week full of memories
The endless laughs
This vacation was such a blast
Thank you for everything
We both love you so much
Even though we’re miles away
Our hearts are always connected everyday...
Leaving today from
Our vacation visiting family. It’s so hard to say goodbye but we’ll see each other real
Soon!
Ashly Kocher Jul 2019
I thought I’ve accepted that your gone.....



....I have not....
Ashly Kocher Dec 2020
Your ok

Your doing good

Your doing your best

You feel love

You know your beautiful

You always have me

I HOPE

Your doing ok during this holiday...
Ashly Kocher Feb 2019
I just want to see you

Be

Happy

Feel confident

Be loved

Be you

I just want to see you

For yourself
Ashly Kocher Jul 2019
The sun peeking through the trees
Illuminating the leaves
Sending me signs of love
Of ones who passed before me
Ashly Kocher Mar 2018
An illusion
Is what I see
When your staring back at me
Standing in front
Of me
Doesn’t mean your really there
It just means
You really don’t care...
Just because your really there doesn’t mean your actually visible
Ashly Kocher Mar 2022
Our illusions are boundaries that are not set in stone but rather illuminating colors of the rainbow
Ashly Kocher Jul 2018
I love you more then words can say
It is possible to love someone more with each passing day?
You make me feel so beautiful inside and out
Being with you never has given me doubt
I love you always and forever since day one
You are my soulmate and I look forward to many years to come...
❤❤❤❤
Ashly Kocher May 2020
Even though he says
“I Love You Baby”
A million times a day
He doesn’t have too
A kiss on the forehead
An embracing hug
A little look
Holding my hand
Cuddling me
Is all I need to know it’s real....

I love you baby
Ashly Kocher May 2019
I just want to say
I love you all the way
To the moon, jumping across stars, floating on clouds, sliding down a rainbow, to the top of the trees, dancing down the leaves, to the grass, into my heart and all the way back....




I love you....
Ashly Kocher May 2019
A single sentence is whisper as the butterfly soars by...
...I love you and miss you my daughter...
As, now,  I start to cry
Ashly Kocher Sep 2020
A Ferris Wheel
Is all it took
For you to take
A leap of faith

You saw the sadness
In my eyes
You leaned in for it
I was surprised

In that moment
Time stood still
Like we were on a
Fairytale

A Ferris Wheel
Is all it took
For you to take
A leap of faith

The love we have
Grows stronger everyday
I’m one lucky lady
To call you my husband
I LOVE YOU ALWAYS
Ashly Kocher Mar 2018
The use of imagery
in the background
of writings
Can often be
persuade as music
from your mind
Creative writing ...
Ashly Kocher Dec 2017
Ice crystals form in your eyes
You see the world through all the lies
Imaginative illusions swirl around your brain
Trying to keep them in line, looking sane
Plucking words to form a single thought
Looking happy on the outside but your not
Your soul fills the shell in which your body resides
Eyes well up with teardrops as you cry
Whimsical imperfections in the beauty through your own eyes
Ashly Kocher Jul 2019
I can’t even imagine if we would have never met one another....



......so I won’t even imagine it...


Because meeting you...
....changed me for good....
Ashly Kocher May 2019
Just imagine



Imagination is timeless


Time is precious


Precious is life


Life is beautiful


Beautiful is you


You are your own imagination


Just imagine
Ashly Kocher Mar 2018
Serendipitous moments
To how far we go
To the edge of nowhere
Nosediving into the unknown

Grazing the surface
Freezing the sounds
Silence is not over
Screaming out loud

Flying thinking happy thoughts
Turning into something new
A ghostly picture with love
Swimming into the ocean blue

Searching for an enchanted castle
Dreaming of a happy ending
The elevator of time rises up
Fastly Falling but your journeys not over yet
Hmmm...
Ashly Kocher Jun 2018
The eve of my 33rd Birthday tomorrow....
......When my families life changed......
......A scary start to my life (as I almost died) but here I am......
......A true miracle baby, who no one ever thought I’d be here today.....
         On the eve of my Birthday, I thank God everyday for keeping me alive
.....Sharing my heart with the world each and everyday......
Ashly Kocher Mar 2018
My name is Ashly (yes spelled without
the E)
I was born without a windpipe and was 3 months premature.
I underwent surgery for a tracheostomy and died on the operating table.
I was revived.
I was hooked up to many machines and my parents were told I wouldn’t live for more then 3 days...
If I would survive more then 3 days I would be hooked up to machines my whole life and be in a “vegetative state”
Doctors told my parents and family “I would never live to see my 18th birthday.”
I lived in the hospital for almost 2 years.
At age 2, I myself, ripped out my tracheostomy (which could have killed me)
My family rushed me to children’s hospital and the doctors decided to let the hole in my neck close and see what happens.
My doctors don’t know how I made it through the night or days after.
I went home after a couple weeks and that’s when I started living my life as a “normal” child.
All of my sisters were involved in dance classes, my parents( doctors didn’t agree) enrolled me in to classes.
        THATS WHERE MY LIFE CHANGED
Dance became my passion, along with gymnastics and musical theatre.
Something my family, doctors or even myself never thought I would EVER do.
On my 18th birthday it was a mixture of emotions.
I made a milestone that no one said I would ever see.
I competed in dance and gymnastics until I was 19 years of age as well as did over 60 musicals at my local theatre company.
I never thought I would ever have a boy love me because I had “too many problems” or even get married for that matter.
Fast forward, I am now almost 33 ( June .11th is my birthday)
Married for almost 8 years to my best friend.
Happy doesn’t even cover what I feel everyday waking up next to my love.
We may not have a “family” of our own but we are happy and in love over the moon with one another.

So why did I just ramble on with this?
Because I’m a MIRACLE and a SURVIVOR.
Even though I don’t remember much from my childhood and what I and my family had to endure, I have been fighter since my first breath.

I’M A SURVIVOR and I’VE MADE IT....
Just a little insight to my story. I left out some details but y’all get the idea. Hope this helps to feel why I write and my story.
Ashly Kocher Dec 2018
I think I’m done writing....

Or at least taking a break....

Not quite sure yet....

Happy Holidays if I’m not back before then....

Goodbye for now...
Ashly Kocher Dec 2018
I’m dreaming of a warm Christmas
Just like the one two years ago
Where’s the waves were crashing
The palm trees swaying
The smiles and laughter filled the air
I’m dreaming of a beach filled Christmas
Just like the one two years ago
Where the sun was shining
The little lizards were roaming
Surrounded by our Florida family
I’m dreaming of a warm Christmas
Just like the one two years ago
I’m dreaming of a warm......
Sing to the tune of “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas
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