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 Jan 2014 A B Perales
The Noose
Bathed in vermilion anguish

Hollowing out the delusive notions

From the catacombs of the mind


Ensnared in the quagmire

Of disgruntlement

Pulling an endless string

From the throat.
 Jan 2014 A B Perales
The Noose
I have resented you for many lifetimes


Your smile
Irradiated my darkened room
Filled the vacuum
In abundance
  
Your presence was an impermanent antidote
To this..... state

You were just a mere mortal
With this unfathomable effect on me  

I have resented you for many lifetimes
The way you took permanent residence in my heart
The way you carved your name into my bones
The way you departed... this life
To leave me... like so


Perpetually chasing your ghost

Until I become one.
 Jan 2014 A B Perales
Abellakai
You said you'd never leave,
My heart sinks.
You love to paint my face
With the colors of pain.
Red, blue, black, white,
Red for the stained glass,
Shattered pieces of my heart.
Blue, the color of life,
Waves of teal,
Deep
Enticing yet,
Light as tears.
Black for a bruised soul,
And tainted lungs
A demonic smile.
White for a broken
Bag of bones
A ragged, torn body.
You were a hurricane
In a tropical paradise.
A tornado in a field of daisies,
And I,
A lone daffodil.
I never knew
A hole replacing
The space where my
Heart used to be
Could give me more
Feeling than any
Sky, land or sea.
(Hence Those Tears)
Got a Hellhound on my trail
Devil Dogs locked on my scent
Hears the barkin and yowlin
Still runnin but my energy's spent

Got a monkey on my back
**** thing stranglin my soul
my skins crawlin, liver aching
self abuse done took its toll

bill collectors keep callin
dialin me up in real time
debt for ill spent life past due
bro won't spare a **** dime

ol sun did rise this mornin
Lord gave me one more day
to see the light, set things right
before he takes me away

sick and tired of sick and tired
can't play this tune no more
take one step to a brand new life
before I knock on heavens door

Music Selection:
Robert Johnson,
Hellhound on My Trail

NYC
3/19/05
jbm
Note: scribbled six months before my first AA meeting and God willing last drunk. Do you think I suspected that my life was becoming unmanageable and that I was powerless over alcohol? As this proves, I realized I had an inkling of my problem but I remained convinced I wasn't sick.
That all changed 9/30/05.
TBTG!
Still gotta be on the lookout for those hell hounds though.
Their still out there looking for me that's for sure.
And then I fell.

The taste of love's gravel
is bitter and hard
Mixed with the shards
Of my heart.

I have no recollection of when I fell
or when I  landed on such hard reality.
I rather not know.

The fall has no words
to describe it.
It was quick
Like the click of a pen
Stabbing at a piece of paper
as you confess "L-O-V-E" with the ink
getting it all over your hands.
The flash of a camera
capturing the slight movement, movement
of your eyes shifting your gaze to his hands.
Like an on coming truck
Colliding with your advancements towards him
Scattering your emotions
leaving you dazed and afraid.
Like the last heartbeat your heart can muster
before it starts to flat-line
but to save yourself
your heart begins to beat for another.


I fell
But now it's time to get up.
The Fall is over.
 Jan 2014 A B Perales
SE Reimer
finger pricked, its running blue,
because the oxygen i breath, is pouring out of you
 Jan 2014 A B Perales
SE Reimer
wax runs slowly from his candle  
as ink flows freely from his pen  
daydreams stretched out on his anvil  
where each word he hammers into rhythm
with skill he’s tooling an ode of mourning  
beside his fire lies a sonnet undone  
paintings of prose around him adorning  
with unframed verses below and above  
a haiku sweet graces his table  
a ballad long covers his floor  
more he would add if he were able  
but one wonders if there is room for more  
yet still driven he labors long into the night  
his blood turns to ink until morning light
 Jan 2014 A B Perales
SE Reimer
this exercise is driving me mad
this pushing of pedals and weights
the noise that my heart makes
as I challenge the clock to the end  
round and round it races
where it goes nobody knows
not even this typer whose misspelled half his words
what a crazy way to write some prose
did you really have to lay this out
challenge my manhood and for what?
a latte? a pizza? what have we here?  
these bragging rights will bring me to tears.
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