written on his face
the story of adversity
the trials he'd met
through his life's journey

nothing came on a silver salver
he did it tough
all his times were
rougher than rough

his boozing mother
sold her wares on the streets
she liked nothing better
than to be between the sheets

his daddy died in the winter
of nineteen fifty two
he had fallen victim
to an awful dose of flu

that boy had seen
so much sadness in his days
he struggled and battled
through those darkest of days

nothing was easy
it never was meant to be
his journey through life
was one of adversity

Ok

Ok...not so good today
Two steps forward
One step back
Sometimes three
And when I do
Alas, the difficulty
So what. Who cares?
Do you?
This is me. I don't care
At times I stumble
At times I detonate
At least I do....
And not just marinate
You judge me?
You're no one
That matters to me
Ahhhh! That is the key!
No care for you
I am to be free
No one shall tell
How I will rule
MY life, we'll have no duel
You live yours
And I'll live mine
We will see
Who, in the end, will shine
You cannot touch
What you have not known
Don't dare to know me
I will be alone
And love that I am
Strong without you
No more I shall I need
No more I shall rue
How I love that I have no more
The chains that had choked me
Restraint I abhor
Leave me! I scream
My heart full of glee
Begone! Stay away!
How I love to be me

I have learned that life is not to expect
But to only watch, and feel true respect
For those who come, even briefly to me
No matter the time that I'll allow them to be
Look to them with love, and always with heart
'Cause, time will tell true how far we will part

I hope and I pray, that my strength will unfold
Through trials, and tests, when the truth will be told
I look to the heavens, and hope I will see
That no matter what happens, that I will always love me
For that is what's truth, to know who you are
That love begins here, not there nor far

The lessons I've learned I know continue
Each moment passes, with all that comes through
Don't worry for me, I am made of hard steel
Though you see someone weak, as my heart doth reel
Just allow me my grief, my laughter deceitful
My attempt to survive this world that proves cruel

Don't judge me on this, these words that so flow
I'm not who I seem, this me I don't know
I try to believe with this weight in my heart
And try to forget the reason we'd part
Don't judge me with words that only brings pain
For I try with my might, so I may live life again

The moment I write these words that come through
I only seek to find reason, and learn what is true
Sometimes I will fail, like this time I feel lost
So cold this chill as if I have turned into frost
Allow me this time, so I can heal this pain
No comfort, nor words, so I ask you refrain

Do not try to change me, for I see will not be
To become this person, that I wanted to see
To stand strong and become the guiding light
For those who have fallen, I've tried to do right
But now I see that the one need to heal
Is me, the one, that has never shown real

How wrong I have been to seek outside
To show them my heart, what is broken inside
Tis only me that can heal my pain
Forgive me, my friends, I've fallen again
No wish I have to be such a burden
I will no longer ask, for this I am certain

Thank you all, you have shown me how
To be a good person, though my turn is now
To be the one that can only break free
From bonds that have choked I so clearly see
I beg you, no anger, this is my way
My sins have been deep, now my time to pay

I wake each morning and hope one day
To receive an answer for what I pray
That all the souls that walk upon
This earth their pain will all be gone
My heart it breaks when I will see
That human kind shall never be
To care for good and truly mean
And try to change the pain I’ve seen
Perhaps just one can make a change
And spread the word widen the range
For those to make a difference, yes!
To turn around this worldwide mess
I will not stop believing in good
No matter evils, I’ve understood
If only you could stop and feel
Take a moment to see what’s real
Not the roles that we take upon
So brief, its stay and soon be gone
But in your heart see what is there
Is it full, or is it bare?
Take a breath, let air come in
And know that we all have been
Through pain and hate tis always there
Its up to us, to fight and share
The strength that we hold deep inside
And over come for what we’ve cried
Can you love, can you feel?
Not much it takes to make it real
So stop this hate, this jealous stride
And spread some joy, near and wide
Don’t stop and think if it is worth
The time you take to love this earth
It is our home, our only home
Where shall we go when it is gone?
So please I ask, just think today
A will exists, so there’s a way

You only see me when I smile
Or laugh, it seems all that worthwhile
But have you tried to see inside
The girl I’ve tried so hard to hide?

No matter, for that is not for me
To grant you entry and truly see
What is inside that you’ll not know
I’ll guard with life, and never show

For there is none whom I have met
To see what’s there I’ll never let
Inside of me where true I feel
For I will **** before you steal

My honor, my heart I value true
Not one I’ve known, not even you
Have gained my trust to take my heart
So now you know, don’t even start

To touch within I’ve none to give
I’ve swore to hold so long I live
I’m finished now, I’ve given all
My heart is done, I’ve heard the call

No matter how you try for me
Just know , this life will never be
I’ve known that’s all I’ll ever know
With heart, tis true my only foe

Acceptance I have taken hold
That never shall I will behold
The greatest love to gain from thee
For me no more, so let it be

If it is important, one will find a way
If it is not, one will seek an excuse
Clarity is sobering
Especially when it is one's self that has been defined
The fear has yet to release its hold
Although I fight against its grip
And hope to one day take that deep breath of freedom
You have inspired that hope to heights never reached
The miracle is just beyond
With love, there is patience
And joy knowing that it is right there, so close
Lend your hand, for the length of its reach is more than mine
This I ask.  My attempt to find a way.  
You are important to me.
So very much.

Not feeling it right now
Like driving at night on a highway
Lights broken, totally black
Confidence, knowing…gone
Why? I was feeling so good!
So sure….perhaps not.
My mind, my enemy
Make it stop. These thoughts.
Sabotage!

Go away, I beg you.
The fear, the pain
Failure ensue
Not now, no rain
The promise of good
I’ll change just see
If only I would
I am, you see
Just someone who fears
That setting sun
Hold back my tears
As I come undone
Tragedy I own
Tis joy not mine
The sins I’ve sown
In death I shall find
The peace I seek
For I cannot live
In this world so bleak
My heart, I would give
To free the bond
For I, a slave
Until I’m gone
Never to brave

I am weak
Don’t mock
I tried, oh have I tried
Just leave me be
This world is hard