My life is in shambles
So time where are you?
I'm waiting upon your arrival with flowers
Neck deep in anticipation

They say
"Time kills all pain"
"Time cures the deepest of wounds"
So I wait. I tally the
Nanoseconds, the minutes, the days.
Submerged beneath a huge mass of sentiments
I can't reach the surface

Time I need you.

I was in my dream last night...
The girl in my dream was a self image that my self conscious created.

She had long thick curly hair running down her back like a wild river,
and There were these thin wisps of black curls that rested on her forehead and would not budge no matter how many times she swept them aside

The ensemble she wore was rich in color
I admired the way the colors complemented each other
incredibly lively and elegant
She wore an azure tank with an emerald silk scarf
A Celeste cascaded long skirt embellished with tiny vibrant glass beads that shimmered ever so brightly
She was bare foot but i couldn't help but notice every step she took
On her ankles were anklets that dangled the prettiest of gems

She walked towards me
Her beautiful clothing dancing against her body

She sat next to me on the curb and said
"You look sad, what is the matter?
i can see the circles under your eyes
the insufficiency of laughter

Your heart and your mind are intertwined
You convince your mind to keep you in a dark place
then your heart crumbles leaving your care-fee spirit behind.

These are simply realities you must face

you know, things fall apart
so better things can come together
it might break your heart
but believe that hurtful moments don't last forever

Sometimes in-explainable things happen
sometimes the going gets tough
but you cant allow it to break your spirit for too long
The sun will rise again, sure enough."

Then, just as she gracefully came,
she gracefully left
I Awoke.
She left me with my sadness
for me to decide.

I'm usually one to count my steps
To shy away & question
My skepticism keeps me safe I suppose
I rely on my intuition,
& my discretion

But then you come
You sweep me off of my feet
You look at me with these soft sweet eyes
And my heart skips beats
and it trips
and it summersaults
And i look into your pretty, pretty eyes and I fall each time I swear I do

So I put my guard down
I allow vulnerability to become me
I share with you things about me
Things I hesitate to share
And this vulnerability grows
It creates a nagging monster of fear that drowns me with negative thoughts
And I fight it but it wins
I'm left defeated, tired, and distraught

This gap grows between us
And I feel you so distant
as if you're a stranger, a bystander on the street
That travels past me just like the short breath of an instant
Who's rhythmic steps don't match my wandering feet

It breaks me into a million minuscule little glass pieces.
Because I feared that I would fall and break.
I'm just a girl with glass bones and paper skin.
You weren't there to catch me.
You aren't here to ease this ache.

I like words with meanings
Flowers with fragrances
Nights with stars
Gems with imperfections
And you with smiles :)

I like colors with life
Teas with sweetness
Spring with rain
Long hugs and late mornings with you :)

I like the rhythm in your laugh
And the deep blue of your eyes
The lean of your body
And the veins in your hands

Buy mostly I like the way that you look at me
Those eyes when they shine so bright and twinkle
In your arms is my place to be
You make life so peacefully simple
:)

It's weird when people you knew die.
Especially when you're young.
I'm not terribly upset though,
Death doesn't hit me like it used to, I've sort of become adjusted.
But sometimes I think:
I'll never run into them at the grocery store and catch up a bit,
They will never get married to the love of their life,
Or have children,
But I might.
By the time I am dying,
They will barely be but a memory
Deep in the brain of someone who knew them 60 years ago,
Someone like me.
How strange.

I can see the face,
Hear the voice,
But It's all in my head.
I'll never see or hear it again.