If I were ******
I'd choose Scientology.
Or Mormonism.
Probably both.
Jews are too cool.
I love their culture of practical intelligence
that accommodates science and atheism
in a dark world of savagery and jealousy
their light shines like a radiant star
or the soft glow of a candle-lit minora.
Scientology and Mormonism are decadent, creepy and ridiculous.

Your pale grass colored eyes flickered towards me in the passenger seat;
cigarette out the window
I stare at my ruby colored lips in the side view mirror
You drum your fingers on the wheel to Blue Bossonova
I remember the dream catcher hanging from the mirror catching my eye;
a majestic golden hue from the sunlight reflecting off of it.

We weren't supposed to be driving the car,
We both knew this, but we were rebels
So I had climbed out my window without my parents knowing
ripping my jeans in the process
just to be with you.

Had I known it would be the last time I'd touch you;
Had I known it would be the last time I'd kiss your lips
I would have stayed in my bed
The Shins blaring through my headphones
Thinking about all the things I'm going to do with you

Had I known it would be the last time seeing you smile
The last time hearing you breathe
Hearing you talk
     Touching your skin
I would have obeyed my parents rules for once.

Instead of staring at your pretty green eyes
I stare at the pretty headlights coming our way
I feel the car swerve to the left;
the dream catcher falling
The car spinning like a dradle in the air
It was like everything were in slowmotion
As I look over at you in horror
your pale green eyes flicker away from mine
closing as if to say
"I'm sorry."
The car comes to a hault.
You were motionless as we were upside down
Tears fall down my ****** cheeks
I scream at you to wake up;
but you wouldn't
Then I stopped wasting my breath
I stopped
Like your heart

Had I known it would be the last time I'd touch you;
Had I known it would be the last time I'd kiss your lips
I would have stayed in my bed
The Shins blaring in my headphones
because now I'm fantasying about all the things we could have done

About all the things we could have said
like
"You're paying for the electrical bill this time."
or
"I do."
Now I'm stuck listening to Blue Bossonova
blaring in my headphones
thinking about all the things I'd have to do without you

Had I known

It's 4:43 in the AM -
Not in the afternoon where it's supposed to be
But dark instead -
Smoking a cigarette outside -
In the humid purple night -
Where lightning bugs are flying
Under sharp soft bursts of wind -
Pleasant in this misty heat -
You are nocturnal -
More comfortable in the dark -
Where thoughts flow more freely
With the freedom of shadows -
Hiding in the darkness -
Arousing passions -
Seducing lusts -
Running much faster from death's final dust -
Where flaming elixirs flow like silken rain
Under galaxies of stars and various planets -
Perfumes of the dark matter erupt in your mind -
Laying in tall grass, outstretched arms -
Legs curled up -
In awe of such massive wonder and chaos
That indulges my speck of existence -
This is when you understand the notion of 'Gods' -
And how truly privileged it is to live a life -
Where dreams will come, asleep or awake -
A nocturnal life is the life I live.