I am not a victim
Of your broken glass
And I wonder how much more girls
You're going to harass

There's something
I want you to know
Pretty face and an ugly heart
Don't make a home

You spent days
Making me sure that I'm a sinner
But when they reward for the lies,
Honey, you're the winner

You like playing the "victim"
After bringing up the storm
You pulled me, twisted my arm
You meant no harm??

How easy is it for you
To be so disgusting?
All your filthy words
Are meaningless and rusting

In a way, I'm glad
That you're not mine
Who likes to keep wicked trash
Even for a dime?

It's really okay
If you don't plan to stay

I could go back
Lie down in my bed today

Have you ever starred at the midnight sky
Feeling as if it's pulling you out of a grave?

Why do we even expect?
For anyone to stick around anyway?

Maybe a month is enough
To say all that we want to say

Then we could go on with our lives,
Apart –no regrets, nothing to pay

After all, goodbyes should mean something
Only about joy —no tears, no hate

Hey
This is me
All naked in front of you

My scars are the battles
I lost many
But I won a few

What do you see?
When you look through me
Or to you, is it all blue?

I have craved your presence,
Like the sky needs the moon,
But do you have the slighest clue?

I've waited so you would say,
"I got you", for you could stay –
But none of it could ever be true

I have to tell you,
So I must tell you now,
It does not get any easier,
Life can **** "life" out of you
And there is nothing which you can do

Time after time,
Year after year,
Moment after a moment,
You will find yourself, right here
Not feeling a thing, desperate -in despair

There will be good days
And after a while
Your days will again be more like the night
As if someone has put you on hold
Nothing will seem real as you start to get old

And one becomes greedy,
Just to get to feel anything at all
So you might end up taking it to the extreme
Willing to do things -wild things on your own
Discovering yourself a bit more -each time you're alone

But it's a shame
When the intensity doesn't feed you anymore
You just have to live this way,
Feeling cold, more like a walking corpse,
Dead inside, no love, no remorse

When I was younger
My mother told me
"Some get it hard
Some get it easy."

My father would say
"Do not back off
Try until you must
And never stop."

As I grew older
I realised my mother was right
I was the one who got it hard
The one who was conflicted despite

My God, my Dear God
How many times do I have to fall
Lose my faith a billion times
And come back yet feeling so small?

Each day I fought a battle
Sometimes with my mind
Sometimes with my heart

Why do I, the most vulnerable
Feel like the whole weight
Is always on my feeble shoulder?

My brain is a wreck
My soul is an empty apartment
I must tell you
It does not feel good to be on this side of the door

You see -on this side of the door
I am never okay
But how must you see me as the weakest –
When you can't see what happens here

When I close the doors
I can finally be myself
The one with that heavy burden on a weak heart
Calming it down, I play my part
"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay."


#But it's not okay..#