These lingering days contribute to the weariness I've recently cultivated.
Doubt has become my main driving force--
I am tired.
Much more cannot be explained in such a place,
when all has been lost and I teeter in surreal dazes.
It is a thick black fog that captures me every time;
And where would I take refuge without it?
Compare me to the Serpent,
you can.
You are obviously misguided.
It was the hand of a harsh man who sculpted me into this kind of form--
not love itself.
So don't blame her,
and don't label me.
She is tired,
just as I am tired.
'A neutral conclusion to a binding tale;
You could say.
Exhausted lady love has had enough.

Twenty-years old and still wishing on shooting stars
Because a part of you is still naïve and dying
A last breathe for who you are
Paper-mache hearts aren’t going to cut it this time
They can’t fix your house of fallen cards
And at the end of the day you’ll tell yourself
You’re worth it
(I am, I am, I am, I am)

Sometimes it’s so hard to breathe
It’s all you can do to pull your hair and put your head
In between your knees
Pray to God it’ll be over soon,
Because the emptiness is sinking you like lead
Dead-weight on the bottom of the ocean
But you’re worth it
(I am, I am, I am, I am)

You ignore their questioning looks with headstrong stubbornness
Though your nails are biting through your skin
You refuse to run from this
Not this time, not ever again, let them look
At a twenty year old ****** who’s never been on a date
Because she’s got more faith in herself
Because she knows she’s worth it
(I am, I am, I am, I am)

They don’t understand why you refuse the boys who ask you
And you won’t tell them it’s because they’re not right,
As a sure as the rising moon
That you just have to keep waiting and wishing
On How, Why, and Who
Keep on throwing those pennys down wells
When it’s all you’ve got
When you know you’re worth it
(I am, I am, I am, I am)

Nights are the hardest, you know from experience
It would be so easy to put on that little black dress and find a willing stranger
To break the rose-tented lens
To feel some affection, even if it’s only for a moment
To feel something different
Than desperate hopeful prayers to a paradise that doesn’t seem to care
But you respect yourself too much for that
And you have to believe it’s worth it
(I am, I am, I am, I am)

Some days are worse than others
And you lose yourself in music, choke on your frustrated screams
Try to convince yourself you don’t feel nearly as smothered
And suffocated, as you want to be
Even though you’re smart and there’s more to life than love
The only thing that can be felt is that someone missing,
And oh God, you pray you’re worth it
It runs like mantra pounding through your head
(I am, I am, I am, I am)



*(You are, you are, you are, you are)

It's the
scent of bud light and cheap cologne
that brings me back to that night
The night you told me I was beautiful
The night you told me to stay
And so I did
I stayed
Because I was intoxicated
Partly from the alcohol
and also from the feeling of your body against mine
The way you held me strong in your arms
And pulled me to your chest
And smiled
And laughed
And stared
Until you couldn't bare it anymore
and neither could I
You grazed your hand lightly against my leg
and you told me
You told me you weren't afraid of my scars
You told me you weren't afraid of my past
You weren't afraid of my darkness
But you were afraid of clowns
And I laughed and I beamed
And I was glad you didn't see
the tears that fought so hard to escape
I swallowed back my lump
And kissed your perfect lips
I wished I wasn't broken
I wished I could be everything you needed
But I'm not
And I might not ever be
I can't see past the fog
But i'm trying my damnedest
My scars overcome me
But so do you
It's a battle in my heart
And it rips at my chest
But I look into your eyes
And I see a future full of
hope, and light, and happiness
And maybe one day I won't be so
*Broken.