We had dreams
about the crystal sun
the juniper wind, apple
blossoms and glowing evenings
comfort and quietude
We had dreams
lollipops and no one crying
no pain-and love if not
everlasting
solid and smiling every day
We had dreams
about great ships sailing
wind filling all speed ahead
never becalmed, no one dead,
no rotting bodies on the deck
no witness to inexplicable agony
We had dreams
garlands from gardens
nobody had to tend
ice cream cones piling
sidewalks high
shade for the asking
from every uncomfortable
ray of sun
water enough for everything
lawns and trees
flowers and livestock
children running in sprinklers
water for the taking
every day
We had dreams
soft conversations in
the lamplight, hands to hold
slim and strong whenever
we needed, voices filled
with understanding and strength
for every fear
and every tear dried
by gentle caring touch
We had dreams
that did not include random bullets
sudden death and no clouds
exploding to rain death
on helpless heads
We dreamed we would never be helpless
we had dreams
we bought on time
amortization forever
and no one would ever
have to pay the bills
We had dreams
someone would always save us
mother always did
even when she didn’t want to
even when we made her mad
even when we broke her china
and her heart
We had dreams
laughing and crying
talking into loud speakers
shouting our claims
and never thought how
to make them come true
We had dreams
of glory and taking
down every flag from every
highest hill
and no one would ever be found
face down in two inches of water
drowned on ***** and disaster
We had dreams
that did not include spit
on the sidewalk, in the gutters,
but only clean skies
and apple pie, organically sweet
every day
and endlessly billowing
wheat, and sailing ships
and all the pure water
we could drink for free
and play in
We had dreams
that we could demand pain away consequences
and guilt and the necessary play
of our dreams that mothers would
if we dreamed hard enough
and played hard enough
and the nasty old piper
never called for his fee
We had dreams
and when they didn’t come true
we had curses
We cursed the lollipops
we cursed the ice cream
we cursed the wheat
the cornucopia
the great sailing ships
and the sea
the mother
the sidewalks
the highest hills
and the trickling ditch
we cursed the livestock
and the stereos
the loudspeakers and the glory
and we cursed crying and apple pie
we cursed suffering and anguish
the pipers who demanded to be paid
the ones who paid and complained
about the mess we made
we cursed fine china plates
filled with hard-earned harvests
we cursed love and freedom
we cursed crystal sun
and shade.

Break-up is when you take his things
Wrap them in his jacket
And put them away,
Hoping that through this you won't think about him.
Out of sight, out of
mind.
But then you crawl into bed and it still smells like him
So you cry.

Break-up is when you lay his vest on the floor
And flatten on top of it
Collapsing.
Just to cry into it that you're sorry, "I love you, I'm sorry..."
Then throw it to the corner like it's trash.
It isn't.

Break-up is when you put on all the perfume you stopped wearing
Because he said he liked the smell
Of untainted you.
Then you vow to wear one
Every day
Until it makes you sick at yourself.

Break-up is when all your poetry turns free form
So that you won't send it to him
And your friends know it's serious.
Every poem ends the same;
Before its time
And dramatically.
Just like the last time you kissed.

Nothing matters,
I’ve seen you,
All the movement and stillness,
All the serenity and forgiveness,
All your health mixed in with the weakness
In your walls. I know
The texture of half the scars
On your tender heart.
You can have whatever you like,
You deserve so much more,
Than I could offer,
You are so much stronger,
Than I can explain,
You can take up space in my heart
If you wish,
Fill this distance with want of a kiss,
You can have my hesitation,
My trust.
You can have my aspirations and my lusts.
You can do with them whatever you like,
Please, though, please don’t cry.
Never cry.

You almost kissed me,
and you shouldn't have.
On the gingham tablecloth in the yellow light,
you lifted me from the counter top onto my feet
putting your hat on my head and tickling my ribs.
You know it's my sweet spot,
leads straight to my heart if you're gentle enough.
I told you to stop and you walked away,
eyes lingering on my bare skin between where my top ended on my waist
and where my dark denim jeans began to hug my hips.
I flipped my hair back around, joining in some conversation too late
between a girl drunk on grape juice and a wedding crasher straggler
in a forest green flannel with camel cigarettes in the pocket.
That's when you came back over and started yelling
some story that happened to you the night before.
You told it well,
the circle captivated, me mesmerized
by how blue your eyes stayed all this time without me noticing.
You  had the whole room laughing with your wit and stupid vernacular,
but I was smiling because you looked so beautiful in those drunken
honest moments
where I recognized the person beneath the banter
where I saw you.
I was saying my goodbyes to the carhartt boys and their one night girls
when you grabbed me by the hand and spun me around
like we were dancing,
pulled me in by your hand pressed on my shoulder blades
the other around my waist
I gasped as your lips almost touched mine,
but then you looked down at me
with those same blue eyes
and took a deep breath,
slowly letting your hands glide down my back then to your sides.
I just stared back at you,
wishing you'd forget the logic and put your hands back where they were,
tracing your lips with that almost kiss,
and I could feel how much you wanted to be in this moment
desperately searching for a way to my lips
but something stopped us.
And I think it was because we knew it would only lead to something messier
than where we were at
it would be a backwards romance, reversing our ***** footsteps
in something we've tried and tried to understand
that it never works out the way either of us plans.
We were both doing so well, moving on
but in that moment we almost gave all that strength up
gave into something too tempting and too wrong.
Because we can't really stay away from each other all that long.
I mean,
you almost kissed me
and you shouldn't have,
but I swear
I wish you would have.

Stricken, our lives teeter on the edge
Of our minds.
Like the ocean, caught in a hurricane,
I burst.
A fury of passion, blood and beauty
Strings around me tighten
In a hurry to see themselves snap
As I am pulled undauntingly closer
To the eye of the storm
The calm in which
The core of our love resides
The fire that burns within our soul
Keeps the peace that creates the chaos
Around us and in our heart
Here is where you begin
The angel in the shepherd's dream
The nightmare above his bed
Lost in your open eyes of wonder
We rise to greatness
Our love takes flight
It fights for a purpose
But the fire scorches all
That is left in its path
The cracks in the walls tear open
They shatter and fall to dust on the ground
We cry out as we fade away
Into each other's arms again
Your wings, they flutter and open my heart
Your skin, still unborn in the cracks in my skull
I fly towards you, my beak and claws
Colliding with yours
A force breaks out of our chests
And unites and slaughters our dreams
We share a power that none can conquer
It forms a universe we cannot grasp
It builds and empowers the storm that we are.

You are the gold dripping through my veins
With your armour and without,
Your heart spins within my palms