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asya Oct 2021
being dropped from a height
can be quite terrifying
so why would you let me do that?
why would you drop me?
i
don't
want
to
fall
asya Oct 2021
I am simply not going to see things the same f-cking way as you do
and that scares the f*ck out of me.
Not to be coy.
Not to tease you with an asterisk.
Not to censor my feelings.
Not to frustrate you.
Not to make you go "don't do that"
Do not
*******
test me.
asya Oct 2021
Homelessness - for me - was the shame
the raw shame I felt emanating from my mother
any time she had to ask a friend or her own ******* mother
for a place to stay.

Homelessness was the embarrassment of
"I could come over to your house to play!"
"Oh wait..."

Homelessness was the frustration of yet another house
that we could not get
we apply for all the ones we can afford and yet...?
Still we sleep on a couch and hope to find something.

Homelessness becomes hopelessness in so short a time.
The longer we have no home,
the longer we feel like we'll never have one.
asya Oct 2021
I am a careless wanderer
my mother before me the same
when we think that we finally have a permanent home
suddenly we are lifted by the backs of our necks
and put back on the road
because careless wanderers don't get to live comfortably
careless wanderers can't live like normal people
careless wanderers sleep with men
who try to **** them
and go back and go back and go back to him
mother goes back to him
because at least he has money.
At least he pays our bills.
It doesn't matter that he tried to take out my mum's eye
because he puts food on the table that she could have worked for herself...
I want him to die.
asya Oct 2021
a small space
between being
and not being
and i would like to be
but the world so hates me
and wants me to not be
but i will fight to be me.
i will.
asya Oct 2021
I sat on the bench at night,
the street is much more lovely when illuminated by manmade shine,
but the darkness sat beside me.
I stared at the darkness, my new companion.
It stared back.
asya Oct 2021
Maybe if I get too stressed,
maybe teachers will see it
then again I'm already to the point where I'd rather die
than do my schoolwork
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