your cuts heal quickly
but they are so frequent
on and off
on and off
like a persistent, infuriating tap

you’re out to hurt, it’s your guilty pleasure
you’re the predator, I’m your prey
my silence is your measure
my silence makes you stay

you possess the key, the ability to ****
I need, no,
I will take it back
and then when I bleed…

I bleed clarity

not pain

lots of lost souls
traumatised beings
polluted and infected
unstable and rejected

making the decision to remain comfortably numb
or deciding to seek change
they step into your office,
and finally step out of their pain

on the verge of breaking…
a warm, lilac, reassuring presence rests on their skeleton
natural, comfortable, strong and feminine
delicately unpicking their man-made wounds

and eventually assisting us to blossom, love and live
this wise woman is in motion
so much depth and guidance to give
your light is so bright, consisting of security and devotion

we’re all on our journeys out of the fog
knowing that it’s going to be spectacular
simplifying and remodelling our internal monologue
with your help, we will eventually regain our power

you value the whispers of each symptomatic soul
welcoming every single dynamic individual
some are so mild & timid
but some are so rock ‘n’ roll

thank you for taking the time
thank you for making me shine
i now know its ok to not ‘be fine’
i am so grateful for your ability to re-align

so thank you, for one last time

x

vivid sights of flashing lights
music dancing around my ears
innocent fumbled dancing
body let loose whilst we clutch our beers

your stare was cold and evil
auric field becomes crimson
plan is clear, you slowly get near
i am unaware, but suddenly i am so bare

forceful and firm
my friend is now an enemy
i am frozen and paralysed
no one can hear my internal cries

numbness spreads like a disease
my innocence shatters
each section slashing my heart
only slightly so i still remain
but enough to endure the pain

your hand slithers around my being
parts you know you can’t touch
you think you own me, all of me
silent on the outside, when i want to scream so much

why me?
you took the power to reveal all of me
it wasn’t yours to take, it never will be
but that night, i belonged to anyone and everyone

countless tears, panic & sleepless nights
aren’t you lucky i didn’t blab?
was all this worth it?
just for a few unwanted grabs

mind is vacant
bones are aching
the warm shivers, the dull tingling
it takes over me, it becomes me

mind spilling over
question after question
who knew the huge difference between loss & lost
loss is my soul, lost is my name

feeling numb but feeling so much
head in the clouds
body in the crowd
you can see me but you can’t touch

that doesn’t stop you though, does it?
sick of the same ****
you repeat yourself all the time
pain repeats itself all the time

head ready to explode
heart ready to implode
all this is going on, but,
I am vacant.

You stand so tall, towering over
Together and prepared
But deep down, are you scared?
Whatever you say goes, I hope my gratitude shows

Troubled, confused yet so sure
Do you think we’ll ever find the cure?
Losing your identity, it’s the cold-hard truth
I’ll never forget the sorrow you caused in my youth

Gentle, sweet and warm
Nobody senses your inner-storm
I’m sorry you can’t see the light
I’m not sure if there is one for you, you never put up a fight

Broken beyond repair
Life without your love is not one to share
I wish I could help in some way
But the loss hurts me too, so I stay away

You come and go so often
So meaningful at present, so easily forgotten
Thanks for all the good times, they were fun indeed
I must remember, romance should be a want, not a need

I know you inside out
I know what brings sadness, fear & doubt
You’re really trying, it makes me proud
Energy shines so bright, internal peace screams so loud

lurking in the shadows
lays a slumped figure
lost for words
lingering for love

lets get the party started!

today we are women in motion
clinging to our independence
whilst power radiates through our being

to all of the people who inflicted pain
they hurt & hurt, seeking power to gain
i know you hear my song
you’ve never seen me so strong

so run away, be very quiet
because guess what
i’ve started a riot

the flame ignites freedom
a solitude tear creates ease
we are free, much to your displease
walking together, without your demons

i can’t quite comprehend
how frequent this feeling is
failure & disappointment is now a trend
i feel one step closer to death’s kiss

oh that sinking feeling when you lose your phone
the ridiculously impactful sense of loss
the lump in my throat has only grown
its not loss of a phone, it’s the knowing that our paths will never cross

sadness showers over me
soaking up my joy
rejection crippling me over & over
playing with me like i’m a ******* toy

**** this
**** me
*******

finally, **** this repetitive feeling too.